Static Dress Injury Episode
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Wildcardbitchesss
June 19th 2026


21703 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Overblown production? What? Lmfao

Hawks
Staff Reviewer
June 19th 2026


127093 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Yeah, for sure just old. [2]

WalrusTusk
June 19th 2026


2101 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

@wildcard every breakdown and heavy moment on this album is overdriven to the point where it comes out static-y and gravely. I'm not even saying it's not well produced I'm saying that's the production technique they're using to sound heavy. But it's not a good substitute for quality sound writing or interesting breakdowns.

Wildcardbitchesss
June 19th 2026


21703 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

you’re stretching bruv

WalrusTusk
June 19th 2026


2101 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

I'm stretching to what? Have you actually listened to the album? Because now I'm not sure.

Wildcardbitchesss
June 19th 2026


21703 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I have certainly listened to the album a whole lot more than you

jrlikestodance
June 19th 2026


8803 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

The intro to Malebomb alone got me wanting to mosh hard and I generally emphasize moshability the most in my core

WalrusTusk
June 19th 2026


2101 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

@Wildcard I'm sorry you've wasted so much of your time

Wildcardbitchesss
June 19th 2026


21703 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

And youre wasting your time being such a miserable fuck

WalrusTusk
June 19th 2026


2101 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Remember when this used to be a music discussion board where people brought up the things they loved about albums and the things they disliked about them and then debated them? God those were good days.

JayEnder
June 19th 2026


23466 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

The band is called Static Dress for a reason. Their production choices have always been deliberate. Referring to Supernatural's soundoff there's a reason why this sounds like it was ripped straight from Limewire. Just the band's aesthetic and if you don't connect with it that's fine but calling these songs bad Deftones or The Used ripoffs is just flat-out wrong lol.



Band is immensely talented and the dedication to their craft and vision alone is to be admired.

Wildcardbitchesss
June 19th 2026


21703 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

And we were doing that long before you decided to be a contrarian for whatever reason. There’s some long ass comments discussing the things we like about the album and the things we don’t like about it. I literally said the stretch from Male Bomb through Classic Death Pose is the weakest part of the album, with the latter feeling pretty aimless. The discussions are there, you just showed up late and got kinda cunty

WalrusTusk
June 19th 2026


2101 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

"Just the band's aesthetic and if you don't connect with it that's fine "



Yup, that was my point.



"calling these songs bad Deftones or The Used ripoffs is just flat-out wrong lol."



See "...hospice" for both comparisons.



"The discussions are there, you just showed up late and got kinda cunty?"



Me telling you that I don't think an album is worthy of its current rating isn't cunty. It's me expressing an opinion. You getting butthurt and callng me a "miserable fuck" is, indeed, cunty.

Wildcardbitchesss
June 19th 2026


21703 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

And you kicked that off by telling me that I was wasting my time listening to something I enjoy which, indeed, is something a miserable fuck would do while also being kinda cunty



You get what I’m saying?

Muppelope
June 19th 2026


2165 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Male bomb through classic death pose is maybe my favorite three song stretch on here. Well, actually I'd take lip critic over classic death pose, but still.



Uh oh, the 5s are fighting!

Wildcardbitchesss
June 19th 2026


21703 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

They’re still great songs! Specifically dull blade disguise and Male Bomb, but like I said, Classic Death Pose feels kinda aimless, it felt like they needed a heavy ass song, had some ideas and just threw them together and that’s what we got. It’s a fun track but not as good as everything else here imo

Muppelope
June 19th 2026


2165 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Yeah I put that one last out of all the songs here on the ranked list I did, but it's still a lot of fun when it comes up when I listen to the album in full.

bighubbabuddha
June 19th 2026


1745 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Guys guys guys let's just agree Megan Fox is hot and move on

Muppelope
June 19th 2026


2165 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I mean ... She alright

bighubbabuddha
June 19th 2026


1745 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Now that is a problem lol



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