Okay, I've never written a review on this site, but I'm pretty sure that if you do these few things, your reviews will come out less fucking pathetic and sickening. You would know to do these things if you weren't a total fuckass.

1. Do some research on the history of this band. If you haven't listened to their work prior to the album you're reviewing, do that. Provide yourself some context.
2. Listen to the album multiple times, and try your best to pick apart all the individual elements in each song. Pay attention to detail. Hell, take notes.
3. Figure out how you want to lay your review out prior to writing. Make sure you have an actual structure in mind to keep yourself focused rather than resorting to rambling.
4. Write a rough draft. It'll help you fine-tune your review to most effectively convey the ideas you're trying to communicate.
5. Check your spelling, you dumbass. Utilize all your resources prior to publishing the review.
6. Read the review out loud. If it sounds awkward, it probably is.
7. Take every note of constructive criticism, no matter how mean-spirited it may be, you rotten swamp pussy. It wouldn't hurt to type it all out to find which issues are receiving the most attention.
8. Take your damn time.

90% of users on this site do none of those things tbh

Yeah because they're fucking stupid

Album Rating: 3.0

Listen to 7. There is a reason why people don't like your reviews. Although users may phrase their criticisms in a dickish way (its the internet, don't be so surprised) for the most part its all good advice coming from people who write and read a lot of reviews

Wow tunaboiii


fucking... like
mean

":/ well shit I actually tried pretty hard on this one."

If you're willing to put the time in to improve then you will. I suggest foremost that you read some reviews around here and get an idea of the General style and tone you should go for. The more you read (I recommend staff or featured reviews), the more you'll understand recurring information and structures. This super casual, first person kind of review is really hard to pull off convincingly becuase it's brimming with bias and lacks any weight behind its arguments. Try an objective approach, write some dot points about the obvious pros and cons of the album (AS A WHOLE, take some examples from individual tracks but don't do a track by track) and then expand on them.

Album Rating: 3.5

Dude, write one review a day and work on slowing yourself down so that you can bring coherent thoughts into your writing. Most of your reviews just seem like a scattershot effort.

Album Rating: 3.5

fun stuff

Album Rating: 3.5

Get these reviews proof read bro. It's all over the place.

Album Rating: 3.5 | Sound Off

wow the comments in here are worse than the review kill yourselves tbh

Album Rating: 3.5

Pretty bad review man , not very well written at all .

Album Rating: 3.5

Stop reviewing, please. Even I who have 3 reviews am still better than you.

Album Rating: 3.5

@LPFTW



Now it's 5%. lol

"So, much like being kicked in the balls, this is gonna hurt, and the pain will be with you for the next 45 minutes or so."

similes make u a good reviewer!

Homestuck is my favourite anime

Pos, really nicely done. Many people will be upset reading this and that's not easy to do with a negative ADtR review.

Album Rating: 3.5

@Sp4ceship



Arw you kidding me?

Completely serious, this is top quality. Should be circulated in major music publications.

MyLoveOfTheseReviews96

What level of irony is that even