So. I'm not sure why you're asking me to look at your second review (presumably you've improved lots since then and a lot of my points my just end up being a.) non-valid and b.) outdated), but here goes:
i.) The organization of this review is just all over the place. You start by talking about production quality (and even then you sort of hover rather aimlessly - the vocals are nothing new, they remain consistant, just your standard DevilDriver) and then move onto technical skill and musical interest...before ending up in production quality again. Make your points flow from one to another - find good segues, and attempt to make the review read more like a logical progression that just a random collage of unsorted ideas.
ii.) You needed to justify your arguments/ideas a lot more; lines like ideas can be found from previous albums including the track 'Talons Out (Teeth Sharpened)' with the guitar 'wah effect' and the riffs reminiscent of their debut album tells me nothing about why such similarities are important (in extension, it also alienates readers who have never heard the debut album).
Other examples: A noticeable positive of this album is the inclusion of the melodic guitar solos which include various sweeps, bends and other techniques to keep DevilDriver's guitar-based fans enthusiastic - you have to justify your claim why fans will become interested and enthusiastic with this.
And: There are various low-points of the album including how the tracks begin to blend into each other making tracks sound recycled, and the annoying use of echoed vocal lines that are overly used in too-many tracks of the album - one sentence is not simply not enough to explain and develop an opinion. Devote more thought and attention to guiding the reader through the reviewing process.
iii.) Formatting and grammar. Sort your paragraphs properly, capitalize your song titles, and spell words right (documentory). These are problems best solved during the editing phase.
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Hope this helps. Cheers!
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