the cosmic hard-on of the newborn

same old MJ, same old BS. Next.

Beat it.

Wanna be startin' somethin'.

Album Rating: 1.0

thanks Bfhurricane, i like that line too



but actually the best explanation of the whole album review is in this paragraph:

But it’s not the real deal; this Death was a farce. The final blow is never delivered. Death has instead performed a striptease and then has let the album suddenly end, leaving the listener with aural blue-balls. It’s a long buildup, with overdramatic gestures at those classic post-rock swells towards climax thrown in along the way, but this one never reaches orgasm. It’s almost like fucking a really ugly chick because she’s supposed to be more exciting and extreme, but halfway through you realize the whole thing is too disgusting, you go limp, and in the end you can’t even bring yourself to finish it.

Album Rating: 5.0

mj i think you just don't understand skramz.

...What the fuck is this?

Album Rating: 4.5

seriously? again?

oh my god please just give up

one of the worst albums ever probably

Album Rating: 4.0

stupid reviews like these are lame

not to mention the stupid users that post them

Album Rating: 3.0

sucks to be you

God damn that was the longest review I didn't read.

He blew his chance to do any good for the site; this is just a pathetic attempt at reintegration by trying to emulate what made him popular to begin with. It's ridiculous.

tldr

author does not understand amateur music journalism

Album Rating: 4.0

screw this shit. i'm gonna go see yogi bear in 3d.

God Yogi bear looks horrible. If you're gonna do a Yogi Bear movie, make sure you have someone who can do the original Yogi voice, grrr.

Album Rating: 4.0

don't underestimate the dynamic duo that is aykroyd and timberlake.

so you're really knowledgeable and shit about history, but just one thing:

YOU CAN'T FUCKING APPLY A MATH PROBLEM TO THE QUALITY OF AN ALBUM. IT'S NOT A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS SOLVING. IT'S A FUCKING PREFERENCE. IT'S SOMETHING THAT YOU LISTEN TO, TAKE IN, AND MAKE A PERSONAL DECISION IF YOU ENJOY IT OR NOT.

i haven't heard this so i don't really have an opinion on the album but if i gave this a 5 i wouldn't be wrong, i wouldn't be right just like you're not wrong or right with this rating.