Dear Jennifer Granholm,
It has come to my attention there has yet to be an alcohol ban in the state of Moshigan. This offends me to a great degree. Alcohol destroys lives and minds alike, and the poison should be eliminated. If my request is not met within 72 hours, I will decimate every alcoholic establishment in the state. xXSTRAIGHT. FUCKING-

“Hey Derrick I made you a sandwich.”

I DONT LIKE PEANUT BUTTER.