Album Rating: 4.5

@Potsy: I guess I am not online enough to get the joke tbh. But, uh, King Gizz win, if that helps.

Jesus Christ

@johnny and your threshold for jank is completely arbitrary. I’ve seen you use that term incorrectly like 500 times

Acceptable jank level is situational. Context is important. For melt banana my threshold is zero because I don’t like the band to begin with and their jank sounds bad

jank has about as many contours as this band has albums don't hold on too hard to any single one you'll graze your nails

lightning bolt > melt-banana

Album Rating: 3.5

both slap agreed

lightning bolt is acceptable gym dad noise rock but (appropriately enough) v light on personality

Album Rating: 3.5

gym dad noise rock is an oxymoron

Oh I’m not I just don’t toss it around with reckless abandon to the point it means nothing like you do

An instance where my jank threshold is higher than most: hip hop/r&b/neo soul percussive jank

Moderate threshold: improvisational jazz jank

Lightning bolt is definitely leagues better than melt banana

Album Rating: 3.5

what's your threshold for guitar jank

i do not have have respect for cautious jank useage
heyday mxbx's basslines groove far harder than anything i've heard from lighting bolt. classic case of a band you'd see live and secretly wish you were sitting down the whole time. their tones n textures are fun, but they lean too hard on melody and don't inspire bodily reactions
hence the paradoxical gym dad appeal

Album Rating: 1.5

‘lightning bolt is acceptable gym dad noise rock but (appropriately enough) v light on personality’



Hmm yeah I do actually like LB and the gym dad thing was definitely shade right at tect (lol?) but erm also Doof would definitely agree with this and thus (considering his stance on this tripe + others)…



Melt-Banana wins

Album Rating: 1.5

as for this it was already dad rock / mid-life crisis core, let’s be honest now

am going to listen to more LB now bc they're a decent band and i feel bad that this comparison has been so unflattering to them, but they are very much loud dude-noodling music and i'd probably put them in around the same place relative to noise rock that your libertines-worshipping nme beanie dork would put japandroids relative to indie

You say 'gym dad' as though it were pejorative. I am proud of my decreasing-ROM squats and recurring tendonitis thank you very much.

Album Rating: 2.5

loud dude-noodling sounds hot

ngl i am glad of this decision already - this hideousness of this awful review absolutely fucks: https://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/6353/Lightning-Bolt-Hypermagic-Mountain/
and tbqh yes the dad/tendonitis card is a sexy one. being able to pass off probably inevitable wrist dysfunctional is in my top 3 motivations to have kids

Yeah man if you are a gym-dad all that means is you are making an effort at beating out dad-bod as your major descriptor and also probably getting a jump on your imminent health issues like thats king shit if anything, v rude to use as an insult

We should support middle aged men tryin their best

Except for middle aged men who play rock music fuck em