Album Rating: 4.0
"King Crimson. One of the most critically acclaimed bands of all time. Now, you may be thinking, "A 1.5? This is ridiculous!" However, before you attack me for giving this album a below par score, hear me out on this; King Crimson sucks. The singing, the guitars, the drums, everything is just so bad and bland. The band itself has been called one of the most innovating of its time. In 2011, should music like this really be acceptable?
The first track on the album is called "21st Century Schizoid Man". The name itself is very stupid, since this album was made in the twentieth century. Does the band think the target audience is really that stupid? I can't believe the arrogance of the band. Anyways, the song itsels starts off with train whistling, which is very odd. What, did they just decide to add some train whistling to the song just because they felt like it? It adds noting to the song! All it did was extend the time! Now, the actual music isn't bad, but when you hear the vocals you'll almost want to turn the album off. It's as if they couldn't afford a decent microphone and sang into one of those baby phones that parents use to know what their babies are doing. Then you get to the middle part and it's just them ***ing around with their guitars! Like really who are they fooling with this? And then finally the song ends and they start, quite literally, destroying their instruments as if to harm the listener. Bull***, I say.
The next track is I Talk To The Wind. It's the worst song ever made, there are no riffs or anything! So boring.
After that aborted fetus is Epitaph. Still no riffs! And the guitar work is sub par!! I could probably play a better song! And the lyrics make no sense. It's look they were shooting cocaine into their asshole and came up with these lyrics while they were screaming in ecstasy. Seriously, I'm beginning to think that King Crimson were actually a bunch of kids experimenting with their parents instruments. Also, no riffs!
After that is Moonchild, which is SOOOO BAAD! It's like listening to nursery rhymes for the mentally retarded! This song was designed to make your go to sleep. In fact, I fell asleep to this song and woke up the next morning, finding my underwear covered to pee and my bed soaked. The costs of listening to this ***-fest . . .
FINALLY the last track, and it's just as bad as the last four. It's basically Epitaph, but worse."
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