Emmure is absolutely better than this 🤷

yeah emmure have some bangers

"it's just every time this happens Johnny will feature his own review, completely ignoring the great work done by Matteo in this case, Johnny abuses his power as a staff member a lot and it's very unprofessional"
morning tundra you AI sponging permawhinging piece of adolescent shit, let me educate you on some site basics there:
a) the sputnik features tab is run by the mods and staffers have no direct control over what goes up there
b) the site policy is generally to feature all new staff reviews unless 1) the release in question is over ~1 month old or 2) it's an obituary piece
c) this review has not been featured as of yet lol you fucking moron
d) Matteo's review (which I thought was a good write), on the other hand, has. it enjoys over 20k views. it is still there. its thread is still getting bumped
e) not a card I'd usually play bc it understates the work of our diligent contrib team, but staff output is the only writing on the site quantitatively handled as professional by the rest of the net. far as debates about the writing itself go, that's irrelevant, but as far as metacritic, AOTY, wiki and wherever also goes, sputnik has essentially not covered any record that doesn't have a staff rev. this sucks and is annoying tbh (i used to be cited on the 1000 gecs wiki page, only to have this deleted bc i was still a contrib at the time), but you are essentially accusing me of being unprofessional for providing professional coverage to a record that (from an industry perspective grr) was previously only represented by non-professional writing here (no offence matteo - i've read many worse things from pro-platformed critics, keep it up!). as this always goes, i'm gonna have to question whether or not you understand the full sense of that word
f) is it unprofessional to feature lists dumping on your laughing gas assault of a ratings chart, or is that the content the good people of this site need hmmm
hope literally everyone else on earth is having a great day

"Literally Emmure exists but okay"
wrong decade tbh

tundra shouldnt be allowed to have opinions on reviews tbh

'Shrezzers came right out the gate releasing Relationships with a big statement in mind, metalcore is too bleak, inject some happiness in there you sad ***s, respectfully.'

the grammar is off here. it should read something more like 'Shrezzers came right out the gate with a big statement in mind for Relationships: metalcore is too bleak and needs an injection of happiness, you sad fucks'.


'Relationships is the bands debut album and it's simply staggering to believe this is their debut, even a band such Intervals had a rough first couple outings before finding their signature sound in The Shape of Colour onward, I digress. '

Firstly, youre missing a possessive apostrophe here. it should be 'band's debut'.

Secondly, you need to actually connect each clause a sentence. For example, 'even a band such Intervals' should read 'as even a band such as Intervals'

Thirdly, the 'I digress' is superfluous. You're barely going off topic, it just isnt needed and it reads awkwardly. The sentence could just read 'Relationships is the band's debut album and it's simply staggering to believe this is their debut, as even a band such as Intervals had a rough first couple of outing before finding their sound on The Shape of Colour'

Also this is a good point to mention that its good habit to italicise album titles. You do this by putting [i] and [ /i] (without the gap inside right pair of brackets) around the word you want to italicise


'Shrezzers sound consists of progressive metalcore and djent quite similar to your average metalcore band, but what this band has that non other have the scene is just pure positive vibes'

Shrezzers needs an apostrophe (Shrezzers' sound). The rest is so messy and full of typos and missing words, it should look more like 'but what this band has that none other in the scene have is purely positive vibes'

'The intro Foreword is extremely cringey, I wont defend it, I skip it every time. The the dialogue here is very goofy and slapstick, while I'm not a fan its extremely short and theres no other cringey moments like that on the rest of the record, thankfully'.

The above section comes out of nowhere and gives me whiplash. you were just talking about the positive vibes. why am i now being told about how cringy the intro is? if you incorporate it into the preceding sentence it reads better and makes sense because the following section does thematically connect to the vibes you mentioned.

For example: 'but what this band has that none other in the scene have is purely positive vibes (with the exception of the intro which is particularly cringy but I can ignore it). The track Mystery with its soaring guitar and vocal passages is indicative of the positive vibes that defines Relationships. The rhythm of this track extremely upbeat, and very easy to groove along to it, making it definitely more palatable than something like Silent Planet would be.'

'Swiftly moving on to the second track entitled Mystery, this track immediately lets you know what the band is all about. Consisting of soaring guitar passages and vocal passages. The rhythm of this is extremely upbeat, and very easy to groove along to it, definitely more palatable than something like Silent Planet would be.'

Lets double back and examine this section. Firstly you often dont need to announce what youre doing as you do it. just do it! Just as there was no need for 'i digress' theres no need for 'swiftly moving on'. Its a sort of filler.

Secondly 'Consisting of soaring guitar passages and vocal passages' is not a complete sentence. What is consisting of soaring guitar passages and vocal passages? And why should I care that they are so?

Thirdly there are similar issues with the following: 'The rhythm of this is extremely upbeat, and very easy to groove along to it, definitely more palatable than something like Silent Planet would be.'

You dont make it clear what youre talking about (the rhythm of what?) and you dont properly connect each thought. 'defintely more palable than something like Silent Planet would be' needs to be connect by a phrase like 'making it', and 'something Silent Planet would be' is simply awkward. It should read like 'making it definitely more palatable than something from the likes of Silent Planet'

that literally just a snippet of the corrections i made on your shrezzers review which is only a couple of months old

is this worse than dubstep and One Direction?

Album Rating: 3.5

Glimmers of brilliance within a vapid black hole of nothingness. I don't hate it though, the potential for something monumental is there.

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

Have a good day everybody. It sucks that this turned into such a volcanic flaming shit bag of a thread

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

This thread, hooo boy

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

no one cares Mort nice wall of text

Album Rating: 1.5

u got me in aa chokeeeee HOOOOOOOUOOLDDDDDD

Album Rating: 2.0

"dude slipknot did this in the 2000s, why is people in masks still causing outrage"



think the big difference here is slipknot's costumes match their sound whereas these dudes dress like a satanic cult while sounding like an edgier lewis capaldi



also think slipknots costumes were just really well done from the beginning while this vessel guy looks like a hollywood undead member on stage

lewis capaldi [2]

Album Rating: 2.0

think the big difference here is slipknot's costumes match their sound whereas these dudes dress like a satanic cult while sounding like an edgier lewis capaldi and I literally went to school for music and I can tell you for certain that I’m just getting into these guys and it’s pretty cool shit. It’s as if the weeknd and Billie eilish started a metal band and got Lewis capaldi to do vocals. Epic

Album Rating: 1.5

RIP tundra

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

The difference is also that Slipknot was original with the masks(?) while these guys are a complete Ghost rip-off gimmick-wise

Album Rating: 2.0

Man goes to doctor, says “Doctor, I’m depressed,” the man says; "life is harsh, unforgiving, cruel". Doctor's face lights up. The treatment, after all, is simple. “The great band Sleep Token is in town tonight,” the doctor says, “Go and see them! It's as if the weeknd and Billie Eilish started a metal band and got Lewis capaldi to do vocals.” The man bursts into tears. “But doctor,” he says, “I am Lewis capaldi.”



Epic