idk man tec has some based 5’s

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

anyone can have based 5's. it's the based 4's that make a man

audit on tec's 5s:

American Football American Football: not the worst lameass ""nostalgia"" pick but definitely one that does not suit you. an instant detriment to your efforts to raise a Very Serious canon -1
Bjork Vespertine: yes okay good +1
Can Ege Bamyasi: probably a 4+ all the Can i've heard is good +1
Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band Mirror Man: fake band +/- 0
Charles Mingus The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady: yes ofc nice +1
David Bowie Low: good but 5ing this is trying too hard you don't enjoy the ambient side *that* much you will not convince me otherwise +/-0
David Bowie Station to Station: confirmed 5 +1
Drive Like Jehu Yank Crime: tenable peak of skronkguitar rock good pick +1
Exuma Exuma: what is this +/-0
Faust Faust: fake band invented purely so that Scaruffi could accuse people of not listening to them -1
Fire! Orchestra Arrival: ditto Low comments, 5ing this is a bit of a clutch +/-0
Glenn Branca The Ascension: sums up your brand cogently enough that whether or not it is actually a 5 is kinda irrelevant +1
Godspeed You! Black Emperor Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven: reasonably surprised at this one. on the one hand, it is frequently fantastic on the other hand i don't believe that you still believe it's a 5 or that you have listened to it within the last two years+/-0
Ground Zero Consume Red: one of the best choices for a 5 that a) is impossible to enjoy outside of masochism and b) you have not listened to more than five times in your life big pos very good for the tec brand +1
John Coltrane Meditations: meant to check this recently but did not whoops guiltpost +1
John Coltrane The Olatunji Concert: The Last Live Recording: probably 5able looks iconic nice +1
Joy Division Closer: uhhhh kinda split on this, on the one hand it does have that chilly air/cold feet/grating background noise/marked restlessness flavour that sits well in the tec rockrack, on the other hand it's a bit of a stuffy pick +/-0
King Crimson Red: obvious but cogent touchstone for ye olde eXperimentalaroack pantheon +1
Miles Davis Bitches Brew: this is 5able but i don't trust you to have 5d it right +/-0
Miles Davis In a Silent Way: the on the other hand feels like a plausible opinion +1

Modest Mouse The Lonesome Crowded West: yes good pick for 90s indie this fits in with the bois good job +1
Naked City Naked City: i feel this list kinda needs a screwball pick tying the jazz chinstrokers and caustic weirdo rock together, to which end this is perfect +1
Ornette Coleman Ornette!: haven't heard this but Ornette is cool and v much belongs in the next alphabetical slot after Naked City nice good feng shui +1
Pink Floyd The Piper at the Gates of Dawn: this (and no other floyd picks) is *such* an obvious attempt at edgecred that i doubt even you would have repped it in that spirit, and so i have no choice but to take it as legit. does it vibe here? hmmmm +1
Radiohead Kid A: hahahaha fuck right off this and American Football are doing some serious work in downgrading your list from a pseud. connoisseur exhibit to stuffy online hivemind backfire, you're better than this -1
Red House Painters Down Colorful Hill: yes nice +1
Slint Spiderland: mandatory touchstone for this list +1
Sonic Youth Bad Moon Rising: any of the 80s SY albums would have filled this slot, but this does fit particularly cogently +1
Sun Kil Moon Ghosts of the Great Highway: more than one mark koz album = instant -1
Swans To Be Kind: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no, reunion swans are not the best look for you. don't rep the greats and then subscribe to those protracted creepy grandpa rants it is not the look. at least it was this and not the Seer though +/- 0
Swans Filth: ordinarily i'd poke fun at this, but a decent part of the list does vindicate it as a touchstone so +1
Talk Talk Laughing Stock: mandatory pseud. connoisseurcore but i refuse to validate it as such +/- 0
The Au Pairs Playing With A Different Sex: never heard of this ooo +/- 0
The Beatles Abbey Road: awkward basic bitch moment, you're better than this. amazed you don't have Revolver or the White Album instead, but easy call for a -1
The Mothers of Invention Uncle Meat: probably audible probably not a 5 probably a good pick for this list +/- 0
The National Trouble Will Find Me: weird pick for you - feels v disconcerting seeing you rep squeaky clean indiekid fodder alongside sooty deathclassics, but this does have enough bleakness to net a +1 for this list

you can't just call any distorted guitar skronk johhny. This is where memes die

Luau is skronk Jehu is skronk this is not contentious see Mort's skronklist

exuma is a hard +1 and an apparent johnny oversight

https://youtu.be/Giw1KCxtyzw
how to skronk

i was gonna write "check exuma" but it's covered
also i'll never check this in turn lol

Album Rating: 2.5

I wish this album was just like 40 minutes of the first 3 songs. A Lana gospel record

What??!? It gets worse?

edit: title track is good

A Lana+Gospel record? A collab i can get behind! None of these nerd-ass features

I haven't done the math yet but I believe I'm netting greater than zero per Johnny's barometer of acceptable taste and overall alignment to brand recognition so Colton go pick on someone else please. Or at least pick a better battleground upon which to mount your offensive because you don't need to feign eclectic taste to realize this album is aural Unisom.

Johnny thinks kid a isn’t a 5 because lots of other people think it’s a 5? No offence but I thought this type of disingenuous elitism died on sput in like 2015

The Smiths The Queen Is Dead: standard boomer moment oh wait you are a dad okay +/- 0
The Zombies Odessey and Oracle: +1 purely for putting this on instead of Pet Sounds for your token elitist psych pop pick
This Heat Deceit: mandatory pick for this list +1
Tim Buckley Starsailor: semi-mandatory pick for this list +0.5
Ved Buens Ende Written In Waters: don't know anything about this but it looks 5able +1
William Basinski The Disintegration Loops III: you chose the third album at random but okay +1

CONCLUSION: yeah i'm not tallying that shit but the score is greater than zero and the average points earned per album is pretty high next please

how have you not heard exuma johnny lol

I have not either, but i do have eczema, does that count?

what is Exuma okay okay I will check
"Johnny thinks kid a isn’t a 5 because lots of other people think it’s a 5?"
Kid A is enough of a My First Experimental Album that is has no business on any 5slist as self-serious as tec's I don't make the rules

That's a yes then.

johnny has thrice 5d, pass it on

just dont look at mine