Review Summary: "Contact your doctor if Xanax seems to stop working as well in treating your panic or anxiety symptoms."
Change begins with the narrator giving up. The panic of his twenties (
Emergency and I) is behind him and now he is an adult. Incredible things happen and he is not even trying to make sense of them, just trying to remain docile and push down all the discordant emotions that seem to keep climbing up his throat. Our narrator opens by deciding, “There’s no heaven, there’s no hell, no limbo in between, and I think its all a lie”. Oh well. When we die its just a few colors and that’s it. The end. “A girlfriend of mine got swept backwards off her feet and into space, but I’m over it now.” That’s nice, can I take your order? “I can feel emotions of random people at random times, but I cant save the world with it so whatever.” Yeah that’s cool, are you enjoying your new Toyota? Boredom becomes serenity.
The narrator tries so hard to keep the disillusionment down, tries to deny that these things are incredible and that life shouldn’t be lived like this, but it cant. It builds and builds and builds until it bursts to the surface in the form of desperate pleas (“Pay for the Piano”) and a “Secret Curse” that just wont go away until the words come barreling out, “Please, please, please, I’M SORRY!” But that kind of behavior is not tolerated here so both outbursts are followed with tender apologies (“Come Home”) and resigned sadness (“Automatic”).
And just when things start to get a little bit better and we start to figure things out in a sensible and appropriate matter (“Following Through”) it happens again but worse than before. It doesn’t stay down this time. “I. I AM A TIME BOMB.” The words come out a ragged yelp. “I LAY FORGOTTON AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR HEART.” This is not the narrator singing to some girl as is commonly assumed, this is the narrator’s subconscious that he keeps stomping on to make his life work singing to his conscious. The music swells, things get more and more tense, teeth are gritted together. “No no no, I can handle this, I will not give in to my emotions” “The thinnest twine… Waiting to be released, right, beyond your sight.” It builds, and builds, and builds. Then things get quiet…
“I. I am a time bomb. I only live in that one moment in which you die.”
Nothing can stop the release now, a cry for help, yeah. The song ends with a tortured scream. It’s over. Every other outburst has been followed with something gentle. Not this one, there is no going back, its straight to “The Other Side”. Chain gun drums come firing from every angle as you try to make sense of your own life. Little things like the sound of your voice to the big things like the passage of time and nothing lets up, the drums keep firing, the bass keeps dive-bombing and things start making sense. “I’ll be damned if I feel like I will ever know anything, but if I don’t keep moving on that last hill, we’ll never know what’s on the other side.” Then with a final clap of the drums and a guitar screech it ends.
“Whew, now that that’s taken care of I can get back to living. Sure, life gets normal again, but that’s fine, all good things end. “Ellen and Ben” were a great couple but they broke up. Oh well, life goes on. They could be rude but they had a lot of good times together, but hey, it’s not my problem. I know what I want and I’m happy with what I have, plus I’ve been chilling with my nephew. And right now I’m just happy to have the most locked in band since the J.B.’s backing me up and I’m a damn good lyricist. Maybe I do have to wake up tomorrow and clock in at my job, but that’s okay. Everything is okay, until it gets bad again, but I’ll figure that out then.”
