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|My Brother Wants To Die|
I don't know what to do. In our country you can't force him to get help unless
it's very severe and then the consequences are dire.
He mixes alcohol with sleeping pills and at least two times a week I have to
accompagny him for hours until he's finally asleep, 'cause he's very scare and
stubborn when he's intoxicated. He's also been taking antidepressants for three
years but refuses to get any enduring help whatsoever.
I'm at a loss and fearing for his life. In fact, the thought of him gone seems
normal, it's like I'm preparing myself.
He still lives at home, as do I. My parents mean well, but are too indecisive.
I'm thinking I'll never see him normal again. The things he says are very
messed up and he just keeps messing with his brain with all this medication
and strong liquor he mixes. He promised not to kill himself but yet wants to die
and it shows given the amounts of liquor and pills he's been taking. An average
weight person would've been dead already. I'm thinking about moving far away
eventually, out of fear to be confronted with his death, I have no idea why I'm
typing this 'cause none of you all would be able to help.
Left and Leaving
Left and Leaving
Left and Leaving
|He's my twin brother. I feel I could've done more in the past, always kinda guided him. I should've done so even more these past 4 years, but education absorbed time.|
|that's a really awful situation, im really sorry to hear that you have to go through watching it. Depression is seriously shitty and struggling with suicidal thoughts is awful, but really you need to get it through your parents' head that it is a serious problem. I don't know where exactly you live, but in the U.S. there are places to call to get people with serious problems hospitalized. Shit is hard, and I wish him luck in getting through it. I wish I could give better advice, but a lot of the time unless the person really wants to get help, help won't come easy without force|
|I think the best thing you can do for him is to stick with him and do what you can to limit his substance abuse. I doubt moving away from him is going to make you feel better, while i could just be talking out of my ass i think you'll get destroyed by guilt especially if you leave and he kills himself. Its a shitty situation but I'd say just stick it out and help as much as you can. For all you know you could be the sole reason he hasn't done it yet|
| "In our country you can't force him to get help unless it's very severe"
sounds pretty severe to me. Sounds like getting help is the best option but you probably know better than me.|
|^ yeah if he's clearly at risk of harming himself then im sure you could force him if it's gotten to that point |
|Man that's horrible, has he gone to rehab yet? maybe that'll help him. |
|"sounds pretty severe to me. Sounds like getting help is the best option but you probably know better than me."|
Getting institutionalized is normally reserved for criminal offenders with psychological issues. There's a workaround to do this, but as you can probably tell the consequences for him would be dire, but it might save his life. It's so uncertain.
@muisc: no, he hasn't. He is utterly convinced he's the only one who can 'get' his world view and all the wicked things that come with it. I'm not sure he'd accept any help if you'd put a gun to his head. He only visits his psychiatrist from time to time, for the sole reason of getting his antidepressants.
@meatsalad: you wouldn't believe how apt he is at finding sleeping pills, anti-anxiety pills and alcohol. It's nearly impossible to keep him from those things.
|agreed with Torontonian.....make it happen bakker and good luck|
|Dude probably has a steady source of channels or hiding places, my dad was the same way. Only way we got him off the sauce was kicking him out of the house but i somewhat doubt something like that would help your brother|
|Being his twin brother, you really need to stay with him. You understand and can relate to him on a level no one else can fathom. But if he is this sick, you have to be the stronger sibling in the situation and initiate some good conversation over a long walk. Maybe not even as a brother, but as a very concerned friend. It may take an insane amount of time for his situation to get any better, but you need to just chip away at him and bring him back to reality. It's fucking exhausting, but that's what brothers do for each other. Also he is most likely not going to see any progress if he continues his substance abuse. |
|Sputnik is pretty cool sometimes.
Stick with him dude. What he needs the most right now is someone who gives a shit.|
|That sucks dude, the only thing I can suggest is maybe taking him to a neighboring country like France where the laws might help(this is just a guess), but idk|
|But it's shitty you're going through this man. It really is. Just. Make him understand you care. And know that you're doing good by trying to help him. There is only so much you can do, and you know how much that is better than anyone here. Stick with him to the best of your ability. But keep yourself in mind too. You know your limits. Sorry. It's hard to know what to say about these types of things.|
|damn it man. That is really really brutal and painful to read. I sincerely feel for you man. My suggestion to deal with this very hard situation comes from an experience I just had this winter. |
I went to Colombia for the winter, it has been 10 years since I was there. I was just 10-11 years old when I first went there. This time going there I was a grown man, doing adult shit. And one thing I realized was; watching kids my age/younger get up early to sell water and fruits to cars at redlights. Or kids hustling to let them be your guide to a island. Or other kids, beautiful young girls selling themselves literally on the corner.
I realized one thing.
I have depression sometimes. Very lethargic and encoraching depression. I have negative thoughts that impair my ability to live the fullest life I can.
I realized that these kids, will never have the life I have. That I dont have to worry about food, or new clothes. That I got an education, they didnt. ect ect.
My point is I realized how lucky I am, maybe thats what your brother needs. Now I dont know your struggle financially or anything. But here in the states I'm poor. Like I get mad grants of $$ from the government poor.
Sounds like he needs a eye opening experience, something that'll wake him up and revitalize him.
|get him to smoke some weed, its a good crutch to get off of harder addictions. Eventually though he's probably gonna need to go to rehab or Alcoholics Anonymous and make some friends that can relate to him and aren't bad influences. Otherwise he's always going to turn to alcohol and drugs to forget about his troubles. What he is doing is drowning out that voice in his mind that says "you are being stupid, stop doing this, you are harming yourself greatly" - he knows what is right in his mind, but the cravings of his body tell him to get drunk so he can mute that annoying voice in his head.|
|sorry to hear about this bakker. you've always been a rill one so i hope things start to look up|
|kinda need more info about your brother to give advice... is he single? if so i'd go out to a bar and try to find him a date|
if this were my brother, i'd buy an ounce of weed, simpsons seasons 2-9, and would watch em for like a week high as fuck and we'd both probably forget what alcohol was.
also maybe try traveling or at least getting him some time off work or whatever...
thats all I got, I hope hes ok
|Certainly not an enviable situation here.|
The problems run deep with your brother, the burden must be a fucking nightmare but the real issue needs to be rooted out in order to progress.
Talk to him, really talk to him.