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Last Active 07-26-16 8:09 am
Joined 10-04-10

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07.12.16 The Office: Characters Ranked06.02.16 Cheeses Ranked
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The Office: Characters Ranked

For the US version only. I don't care if you watched the UK version you fucking hipster trash. Ricky Gervais sucks.
18Sinmara
Aphotic Womb


Michael - Michael is the fucking worst. Fuck Michael. His horrible interactions with women, his complete lack of morals, his lack of self control, his lack of judgment his malaise of awkwardness. Michael just totally fucking sucks. I really hate him. He can be okay sometimes. But 99 percent of the time he's shit, Total shit. Fuck Michael.
17Spektr
Cypher


Andy - The Nard Dog. Oh man. Andy's 'attempts' to woo Erin made me cringe so hard that my face is now partially paralyzed. His occasional bursts of impotent rage are awful. Andy is rarely even remotely likable. His entire relationship arc with Angela was soul-crushingly bad. God damn fuck Andy.
16Vehementer Nos
Vehementer Nos


Gabe - Gabe is a spineless fucking bitch. His attempts to assert his dominance over the office are even more cringeworthy and awful than Michael's. He has no personality. Just a bootlicking, yuppie hipster. Fuck you Gabe.
15Sun Worship
Elder Giants


Toby - Toby is one of those awful people who considers himself to be a victim of circumstance but he's actually just a pathetic piece of shit. He is completely undeserving of the constant abuse he receives but he still kinda totally sucks.
14Terra Tenebrosa
The Purging


Kelly - Kelly reminds me of a lot of lame superficial bitches I know. I mean obviously that's the whole point but she annoys me.
13Unanimated
In The Forest Of The Dreaming Dead


Phyllis - I actually intended for Phyllis to be much higher in the list but I fucked up and I forgot to include her. Phyllis is so nice and sincere. She may play an extremely minor role but she nails it consistently. Sorry Phyllis, you should totally be like 8 instead of Jim.
12Today Is the Day
Willpower


Creed - Creed could have been such a great character. Alas, he is far too underutilized to make an impact.
11Antaeus
Cut your flesh and Worship Satan


Meredith - Meredith is too one-dimensional and slutty to really make an impact on the show. Unlike most of the other characters she doesn't seem to be much more than a one-trick pony.
10Nasum
Helvete


Kevin - Kevin is occasionally amusing but often his over sexually charged personality is too creepy for comfort. He isn;t all bad though. And his Halloween costume as Michael Moore is ON POINT.
9Blood Freak
Squalor


Oscar - Oscar is the ultimate middle of the road character. He is neither particularly likable or unlikable.
8Gorement
The Ending Quest


Jim - I think Jim was initially intended to be the show's voice of reason; the character that the audience would mostly instantly identify with. But I can't feel that Jim's character is slowly sabotaged by his increasingly arrogant attitude towards Dwight and his other coworkers. Also his deep-seated insecurity that occasionally bubbles to the surface is unbecoming.
7Cruciamentum
Charnel Passages


Angela - Angela's crazy cat lady/faux-religious personality is entirely offset by her outrageous hotness. Am I crazy? Seriously she is fucking hot, The more I watch the show the more it drives me crazy. I just love tiny girls.
6Csejthe
Reminiscence


Dwight - Dwight is simply hysterical and over-the-top. He may be a complete sociopath but his outlandish antics are one of the show's most consistent bright spots.
5Endlesshade
Wolf Will Swallow The Sun


Ryan - Ryan is obviously a terrible character but his strength lies in his inconsistency. Ryan was basically designed by BJ Novak to be a revolving door cast of despicable hipster stereotypes. Ryan is so fucking disgustingly awful that he goes all the way back to being awesome.
4Full of Hell and Merzbow
Full of Hell and Merzbow


Erin - Erin's incredible stupidity and indefatigable optimism is instantly endearing. She is simply too adorable to dislike. Her only flaw is her terrible taste in men. She's such a goofball.
3Intestine Baalism
Ultimate Instinct


Stanley - Stanley is practically the show's only consistent character. His total self absorption and disinterest is a breath of fresh in the Office's ever-changing landscape. His almost total lack of facial impressions is CLUTCH.
2Inter Arma
Paradise Gallows


Pam - Pam is always sweet and lovable and tries to seek out the best qualities in even the most challenging of her coworkers.Though she isn't perfect, she tries her best. I mean god damn, she's even nice to Dwight and Kevin.
1Fides Inversa
Hanc Aciem Sola Retundit Virtus


Darryl - An absolutely perfect character and a masterclass performance from Craig Robinson. Darryl is soft spoken, intelligent, humorous and never overblown or caricatured. Darryl is probably the only truly lovable character on the show.
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