Review Summary: Conclusion: bad shit.
50 surfer dudes say this review was totes well written
Was this Review Well Written? Fuck Yes | Nah
I love Bjork’s music. It’s so ***ing nuanced, beautiful, and cinematic. Every album is more interesting than the next…. BUT THIS *** RIGHT HERE??? THIS ***!!?!!??! This *** is just okay. Come my child, let us enter a new world, a world where Bjork kinda sucks. Let us explore……. Volta.
How easy it is to forget this album. In Bjork’s vast discography this one barely makes a blip on the radar. Why is that? It’s because it’s nowhere near as interesting or catchy or beautiful as previous albums. It doesn’t push the envelope, it leaves the envelope lying there like “um yeah I refuse to do my taxes cause I’m lazy”. Technically, all the pieces are here to create another masterful work of art. You got the horns that Bjork are horny for, you got the quirkiness, the unique sound/instrument choices, the pop, but what you don’t have is a mother***ing good album as a whole. WHY IS THAT I MUST ASK YOU AGAIN??!! WELL LET ME TELL YA YOU NOSY ***ING ***!
Weird music is fine. Experimenting is cool. The beat in Innocence is not ***ing cool! What the hell was that???? It sounds like a dude sneezing, yelling, and being punched in the gut at the same time. I wrote some *** like that when I just started making music. Declare Independence also has such an obnoxious beat I don’t know who would want to keep that on their playlist. The Dull Flame of Desire is just dull. Vertebrae by Vertebrae and Pneumonia are both boring. Hope has a cool beat but it goes nowhere. My Juvenile sounds juvenile, like experimenting was more important than making a coherent, and nice sounding song. Clearly, this album is pretty ***ing disappointing. Every song is too long, and the one redeeming factor is Bjork’s always lovely voice and performance. And that’s as good as it gets.
The only songs worth a damn here are Earth Intruders, Wanderlust, and I See Who You Are. These three songs are the kinda great tracks that you expect from Bjork. Imaginative, mysterious, evocative, luscious, panty wetting, cum worthy. Wanderlust is the most replayable track, sounding like something off of Post or Homogenic. Definitely single material. If you want more of that kind of *** you’ll have to check out anything except this album. This one is a failure. I came back to this album purely for nostalgic sakes but barely survived. Best to skip this giant pile of cow dung.
12 out of 2 thought this review was well written
1 monkey 🙈 out of 2 thought this review was well written
