Review Summary: Radiohead touches us all
Radiohead may be the Raven Symone of this generation’s Cory in the House – a star whose show has moved beyond them - but that doesn’t stop them from coppin’ the occasional guest slot and gettin’ jiggy with it. In 2016, old men and middle aged men alike will find plenty to Relate To with a slew of songs about walking through train stations and givin’ their aging partners the D-vorce, which Thom candidly points out “finna get that pre-nup next time, skrrrrt” over some guitars and the sound of johnny g wanking in his laptop’s Ethernet port. That’s when the unlicensed Taylor Swift sample comes in, edited to say, “Penis,” and you know it’s about to get Edgy.
“Fool me once, shame on you…bang your brother, shame through the streets of King’s Landing” pontificates Thom on opener “Burn the Witch.” It’s a meta-statement on the classic myth that the band’s classic-for-pitchfork-readers record “In Rainbows” was accidentally released in alphabetical order and that the opener/lead single was never actually supposed to be on the record at all but was rather one of drummer Ed Sullivan’s more pretentious video side-projects mistakenly released by the record. Of course this myth was dismissed when someone pointed out that In Rainbows isn’t in alphabetical order, and that 15 Step was not released as a single. It’s a pretty good song, 5/5, Nic Cage would be proud.
What’s a Radiohead record without a pretty ballad? Pyramid Song EP, and we all know that sucked balls. That’s why the second track “Daydreaming” is here, pretty good song, 5/5. But a third one, is that necessary? Why not, it’s Radiohead, “Decks Dark”, pretty good, 5/5.
You’ll have to excuse me as my particular copy of the record, instead of “Desert Island Disk” has thirty seconds of a what seems to be a man defecating, cracking a couple eggs, and whisking the mixture to a batter, beaten until only small lumps remain. I don’t know who did the recording, but it might have been Radiohead, so I guess pretty good 5/5.
On the next track, Radiohead takes us back to our childhood by turning on a little keyboard demo drum beat and then shooting a bunch of toy guns with built in sound effects, and then reading his teenage son Noah’s diary I mean journal and reading some of its most insightful lines, such as “the truth will mess you up” and “you really messed up anything.” Thom may not be a great dad, and his son may be a piss-poor writer at the ripe age of 15, but at least Thom’s good enough at music to make the track pretty good 5/5.
Glass Eyes Identikit The Numbers Present Tense Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Theif True Love Waits might have a long title, but the song does a great job of ending the record on a note, even if it’s kind of repetitive and samey and boring, pretty good 5/5.
They’ve done it again.
