Review Summary: Hail to the fucking king.
I can safely say, without hyperbole, that
Hail to the King embodies almost everything I hate in music. Sure, there's no autotune (that I can decipher), but that's because they didn't have autotune in 1987. See,
Hail to the King is some sh
itty attempt at being "retro" and "going back to the roots." Avenged Sevenfold's bassist Johnny Christ said in an interview about this record: "It's just the next progression." Guess what? If the band's idea of "progression" is going back twenty-six years, then count me out.
Hail to the King is a lazy, stupid, generic, pointless release. You've heard every song on here before, and done better. The whole record is a rehash of ideas not worth rehashing. It's mixed badly. None of the performances (with the exception of some decent guitar solos that are slapped haphazardly into the tracks) are noteworthy. Even the front cover art is just a zoomed in version of
Waking the Fallen.
I reserve the 1.0 rating for stuff that is unlistenably bad.
Hail to the King is not unlistenable. In fact, it's extremely easy to listen to. Don't believe me? Check out "Crimson Day" and "Acid Rain," two throwaway, done before ballads that your grandma might love (assuming she has a bad taste in music). Listen to the repetitive title track, which features a way too quiet lead guitar (the song's only redeeming factor) and allows the incredibly boring drumming to dominate the mix. You could listen to the atrocious "This Means War," but you might fall asleep because of its mind-numbingly stale... everything. You have to laugh at the shaker pointlessly added behind the main riff, though, presumably for some 'colour.'
To be fair, it isn't all horrendous (though most of it is). It's got a couple of nice orchestral moments, and the riffs, while mostly half-baked, aren't always bad. Plus, as I said before, some of the guitar solos are pretty good. But who cares? These moments can't make up for the rest of the album, which just flat out sucks.
Hail to the King is one of the laziest, most irrelevant records of the year. I don't care what Johnny Christ says- you can't rip off Guns N' Roses, Metallica, or [insert 80's metal band here] and try and pass it off as a 'progression.' Progression is moving forwards, not backwards. Hail to the f
ucking king.
