Alice in Chains
Dirt


5.0
classic

Review

by Ire USER (9 Reviews)
September 9th, 2012 | 39 replies | 2,591 views


Release Date: 1992 | Tracklist

Review Summary: God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt

17 of 17 thought this review was well written

When most people think of grunge they think of Nirvana and Pearl Jam, but those bands aren't even on the same planet, nay the same universe as Alice in Chains. Damn this rocks so goddamn hard, I don't even know how else to put it. Holy *** this it ever good. The only negative is that gay band Godsmack got their name from the sweet track god smack on here. Either that or it's a coincidence idk I'm not nostradomus. Alice In Chains are gloomy and sad and stuff because they're from Seattle where it always rains and everybody is drinkin' coffee and stuff, but that's not partying. These guys know how to party, even Hawks could party with these guys. Although Layne did party a little too hard RIP. Dirt will turn any indie sissy boy into a hard rocker after just one listen I'm sure.

Dirt starts off strong with a couple short hard rocking tracks goddamn. Them Bones is the fastest and shortest song and one of the hardest rockers on the record, followed by Dam That River which is pretty short too. Even though it starts with two short tracks it's pretty long, some of the tracks are in the 5 and 6 minute range, but they don't feel long. They are easy to digest like a 3 cm rod so time goes by fast when you listen to this record so be careful. I put something in the oven and then started jamming this record for what I thought was 20 minutes but actually 40 and my food got burned! Let that be a warning to you, if you're gonna jam Dirt get a timer for your understove.

Jerry Cantrell makes the guitar his bitch, he makes it whale, he makes it pout, he even makes it wah on tracks like Rain When I Die. Basically he has a lot of different styles and knows the perfect time to bust out each one. Layne Staley holy balls he has got a voice. It like goes hard a lot and is loud and crazy but sometimes it will creep up on you too like a sexy ghost or something damn it gets me wetter than a cold beer on a hot day. The rhythm section keep it tight and funky but don't take the focus most of the time. They stick mostly to the background and get the job done but damn are they ever good. It's just that the vocals and guitar are so good that you don't even notice them but take my word on it they rule.

Alice In Chains don't have to rock hard all the time, they can get mellow and still rule. Like on Down In A Hole, and Rooster. they get mostly mellow but they still rock harder on these tracks than Nirvana ever did so yeah. Damn. Dam That River rocks particularly hard. Its got these crunchy palm mute chords that get me going oh man. And then it has this solo that's just oh boy so good. Down In A Hole is about this time Layne was hiking in the alps and he fell in a hole and a rock fell on his arm and he had to drink his pee for a few days and then cut off his arm and hike back with one arm and then he wrote this song. Actually I think that's what's on TV, it's actually about how drugs got him down and he can't get out, sorry about the misunderstanding. Rooster is about Jerry's dad, it's called Rooster because his dad was a cock in the army or something.

Some of the songs are pretty damn angry like Angry Chair (duh) and God Smack. I think He's angry because he had a time machine and went to the future and found out a *** band named themselves after such an awesome song like God Smack but the world may never know. Speaking of God Smack he does this weird singing wobbly thing in that song in the verses, but hey whatever works I always say.

The album can also get really sad too. Dirt makes me sadder than that time Hawks banned me on Facebook. Even the song titles make me sad, for example Rain When I Die starts off all creepy and slow, it's like supposed to sound like what it's like to be on heroin, but I wouldn't know for sure cuz we only got hillbilly heroin in my town.

Would? gives you wood? The answer to this question is yes. It's gr8.

This album is really popular with really rockers and music fans which I guess is better than it being well known with everyone like Nirvana because so many people only know like 2 Nirvana songs like cum ass you are and smells like queef spirit or whatever but nobody only knows 2 Alice in Chains songs cuz you have to get the album album if you hear a song as good as rooster or them bones oh man I know I did.

The title track Dirt is pretty sweet, it sounds Arabian or Indian or whatever like Aladdin. When I listen to it I pretend I'm riding on my camel in the sahara with the sword of ali baba cutting down all my foes.

Dirt is so universally appealing even Hawks would dig it. It is truly one of the finest early 90's releases and the best grunge album. Its got the heavy, its got the mellow. It has everything you need in a hard rock album and more!



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Comments:Add a Comment 
coneren
September 9th 2012



11111 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

this clearly needed another review

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
September 9th 2012



49980 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Best review of all time

Digging: Armchairpolitician - Seven Segment Decoder

coneren
September 9th 2012



11111 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

ty

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
September 9th 2012



20749 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

np

coneren
September 9th 2012



11111 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

damn

coneren
September 9th 2012



11111 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

but its too early for you

coneren
September 9th 2012



11111 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

enjoy your sleep

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
September 9th 2012



20749 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

i hope you have nightmares

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
September 9th 2012



20749 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

i always do ;]

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
September 9th 2012



49980 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Have you even heard this insurrection

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
September 9th 2012



20749 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

yea it rules

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
September 9th 2012



20749 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

yessir

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
September 9th 2012



20749 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

u too :'[

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
September 9th 2012



20749 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

fine bitch

SgtPepper
Staff Reviewer
September 9th 2012



4400 Comments


This review was pretty funny and informative. Have a POS!

Digging: Shabazz Palaces - Lese Majesty

RosaParks
September 9th 2012



14836 Comments


dumb review there is no god posd

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
September 9th 2012



49980 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Awesome


RosaParks
September 9th 2012



14836 Comments


wow dude go die

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
September 9th 2012



49980 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Damn didn't know it was opposite day

RosaParks
September 9th 2012



14836 Comments


mike is a virgin



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