Review Summary: A Cautionary Tale.148 of 177 thought this review was well written
Once upon a time, there was a small boarding school. At this boarding school, there was an innocent girl, who went by the name of The Devil Wears Prada, a devout, albeit naive and simple, girl. She was a happy girl, and fairly popular, despite the fact that she was not maturing like her friend August Burns Red, who was quickly growing up without her.
She decided to go outside into the nearby forest, to frolick and such. While frolicking, she saw a shadow. She started to panic, but when BrokeNCYDE came into the light, she calmed down. BrokeNCYDE was a special boy, and was never seen without his helmet. The Devil Wears Prada said hello, and BrokeNCYDE walked over. He then grabbed her, throwing off his helmet. She then realized he was not challenged, but evil incarnate. He ripped off her clothes and forced himself upon her (think Last House on the Left
.) He beat, raped, and left her for dead. Luckily, she was found and rushed to the hospital. While being treated, she found out she was pregnant. She decided to keep the baby, as we all know her beliefs on abortion. Nine months passed and the abomination known as Asking Alexandria was born.
Asking Alexandria was put up for adoption and raised in Britain. She was very stupid and prone to outbursts of senseless rage. She also had an odd obsession to dance beats. All thirteen years of her tragic life have been chronicled in the biography Stand Up and Scream
. As you listen, you realize that many similar stories have been told, over and over. An angry and immature child continually acting out, all while yelling simple and annoyingly stupid phrases at (more than likely) people that don't exist.
Sometimes during her fits of rages she will delve into a Tourettes-like dance. She will scream or yell over this dance, and it seems unnatural and forced, almost as if it is involuntary. Asking Alexandria is doing the same thing, over and over, tiring everyone in earshot.
Asking Alexandria never matures, or does anything overly interesting. She bludgeons you with stupidity and immaturity for over 45 minutes, until thankfully she is murdered by a kind man named mercy.