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User
Reviews 15
Approval 75%
Soundoffs 20
News Articles 7
Band Edits + Tags 7
Album Edits 7
Album Ratings 1078
Objectivity 81%
Last Active 07-07-22 2:56 am
Joined 09-26-12
Review Comments 6,731
| 13 years, 1000 ratings, Sputnik retrospective
Hello everyone. Finally cracked the 1000 ratings barrier after first becoming a regular in ‘09 back when I was a bigger loser than I am now (I believe it was to read the review of suicide silences “no time to bleed”). After making my first profile in 2011 when I was 15, I started off with about 60 ratings. I wasn’t really a music guy, but was drawn to sput because of its awesome user interface, simplicity, community and massive levels of shit talk. My original reason for listening to music was to get ratings up and look cool to the metal guys lol, with enjoyment a secondary priority. Sputnik has been the driving force behind my entire musical journey from a retard who’s fav death metal album was Dethalbum 1, to a mildly handicapped mongoloid who, at the very least, doesn’t embarrass himself anymore when talking about metal (mostly). List is reminiscing on the journey, and some of the most important albums in said journey. | | 1 |  | Camel
Mirage
So first things first, we gotta talk about KILL.
Being a teen who was tangentially into metal, he was obviously the cool guy. Genetically immune to trolling and insults, very knowledgeable and author of some of the most hilarious and iconic reviews in this sites history, whenever he did something I was interested. If you can find his “periphery 2: this time it’s personal” review after jom nuked it, it’s one hell of a read (failing that his deicide and devastation reviews are nearly as good). Those who knew him may be able to see the influence based on my style of humour, I deny nothing lol. Easily the biggest influence on my early tastes. | | 2 |  | Bathory
Blood Fire Death
Then there’s the crew I hung around mostly from 2012 to 2015. Jacquibim ( I refuse to call him “Pon”), big pleb (m/), demigod, ethics, Atari and all those guys. Seeing jac go from average dm enjoyer with like 700 ratings to Sputnik staffer is pretty cool. Pleb’s infectious positivity and our dm circle jerks were amazing. Seeing him transform into the guy with maybe the most active comments aside from hawks is pretty cool too ( even though I swear about 60k of them are just “m/, rules”).Demigod could be a prick but I love him. I seem to agree with bloc now even though I think we hated each other for a while. And trebor is still a dipshit (jks | | 3 |  | Justin Timberlake
The 20/20 Experience
Almost just as much fun as the good guys, we’ve had some absolute chuds grace the fine threads of our glorious congregation. I must begin with the king of incels, the bad take industrial revolution and the Anti-KILL himself: Skeletorissatan (skele). Man this guy sucked. He was a train wreck in human form. Sucked so hard you almost felt bad for the guy. Apparently got in trouble with the cops for stalking a chick. You may be thinking that sounds like some bullshit meme story, but if you knew that guy at all you’d realise it’s the most on-brand thing for him to do in the entire world (apart from deliver a shit review with garbage takes on the latest black veil brides album). He was a bottom feeder, but he was OUR bottom feeder. | | 4 |  | Death
Symbolic
So funny story about my name. When I was creating my latest profile I was too stoned to remember the password. About 4 fucking times lol. I had to keep trying variations on “symbolic” until I finally remembered the password kek | | 5 |  | Every time I die
Ex Lives
Michael Snoxall deserves a mention here. Seriously if tool fans annoy you, be glad you’re not speaking to this guy. If skele was the king of incels, this guy was the lord protector of the virgins. So fake deep you’d be forgiven for thinking he was in simple plan, this guy was just wallowing in self deprecating degeneracy, and couldn’t go a couple days without deepthroating his foot.
Special mentions to andcas ( butthurt self righteous fuckwit), deviant ( if andcas was a mod) and asnideremark (ugh news articles, not a bad dude but SERIOUSLY I can’t understate the articles). | | 6 |  | Bjork
Debut
Probably the main reason I’ve stuck around so long. I’ve always loved the community here as a whole. The sense of humour and silliness is something I’ll never stop loving. There seems to be an overarching culture of “we’re all losers lol let’s talk about music sometimes” which makes sput such a great place to unwind I find. Granted, I may take this too far and just do some random unfunny shit but hey, you do you. | | 7 |  | Deftones
Koi No Yokan
The serious parts of sput deserves a mention too. Whenever I’m not acting out my “comedic”and snarky fantasies, I always know I can come to sput for some great recs, some decent general discussion and even some advice. (Shoutout to Sputnik’s cool dad, divaman, who help this site have a wholesome side). The recs have clearly influenced me a great deal. There was a time where my 5’s were just like Radiohead, isis, death, jimmy hendrix, Bjork, maiden, camel, deftones and pink Floyd (cringe, I know). But I never had a cool uncle or friends that were music nerds; I relied entirely on sput. It may sound corny but I credit this site with my musical foundation past the age of 13, and I will always have a soft spot for this place. Whether it’s the silly threads, stupid lists, cringe opinions or *gasp* serious discussions, I’ll always keep coming back. Stay safe you queef chodes!!!! Xxoo | |
SIMBOLIC
07.05.22 | I probably come across like a tool most of the time, but I love you guyz!! | pizzamachine
07.05.22 | You sound cuddly are you | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | Idk lost my lockdown fat so prob not anymore | Koris
07.06.22 | Congrats man. That 2012-2015 group was always fun to talk with, special shoutout to the guys you mentioned on 2
keep the metal alive \m/ | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | Thanks man. Yeah this guys and plug.dj were goated | Trebor.
07.06.22 | 1000 ratings after 10+ years is rookie numbers | TheSpaceMan
07.06.22 | happy birthday! | SteakByrnes
07.06.22 | shoutout to SIIMBOLIC | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | “ 1000 ratings after 10+ years is rookie numbers”
Putting a random period at the end of your name is cringe. What are you a shitty 2014 indie band?
Jks but yeah I never claimed to be a music nerd. I also did a stint in the army, didn’t exactly have the time lol | pizzamachine
07.06.22 | This is a music site | DadKungFu
07.06.22 | Say what you will about Deviant dude could write the hell out of a review and was responsible for plugging like 70% of the electronic music I ever listened to
rip KILL | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | I’ll give deviant the reviews, for sure. Was a great writer. Needed to get the stick out of his ass tho | pizzamachine
07.06.22 | Deviant certainly was what he was | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | This is my first ever feature I’m stoked!!!! | pizzamachine
07.06.22 | They hit you when you least expect it | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | “shoutout to SIIMBOLIC”
Lol I had to make that in like 2015 after deviant perma banned me. I had to email jom to get it unbanned | Trebor.
07.06.22 | What was your original account name? | FR33L0RD
07.06.22 | Congrats! m/ | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | Dunksman23. I’ve got a 5/5 review up for parkway kwas lol. I still stand by it, it’s how I really felt at the time | SteakByrnes
07.06.22 | KWAS is a hard 5/5 agreed brotha man | Trebor.
07.06.22 | The only KWAS I know is Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | The only trebor I know is on sputn- oh wait nvm | Dedes
07.06.22 | Idk who you are but as an antiquated fuck of this dusty cobwebbed site I greatly admire you.
Now to celebrate jam Tomarum-Ash In Realms of Stone
Sweet ass impressively Technical Melodic BM from Georgia | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | I pretty much disappeared from 2017-21 for the most part
I’m back
Will check. Don’t really like bm that much but will give it a fair crack
Edit: awesome elden ring esque cover. Good start | Dedes
07.06.22 | Ah that could be it. I started in 2015 and got realllly heavy into this site 2016/2017. These days i go silent for a few days and just rail 15 comments out and dip lmao.
Also tbh I didn't look at your rates so i'm just taking a shot in the dark but I hope you dig! Aside from Alexisonfire recently them and Saor have been my top jams. | YoYoMancuso
07.06.22 | we never talked much but this just took me down memory lane, your Capture The Crown review has always been one of my favorites on the site. Congrats on 1000 | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | ^ I really appreciate that man. That is some high praise indeed from a sput veteran like yourself.
Was thinking about a return to making some dumb semi troll reviews but I think that era may be over lol | Trifolium
07.06.22 | Happiness!! Party time, congrats! | BigPleb
07.06.22 | Congrats man, good times back in the day on sput! Appreciate the kind words m/ | ArsMoriendi
07.06.22 | Hardly talked to you but good list | MarsKid
07.06.22 | "Idk who you are but as an antiquated fuck of this dusty cobwebbed site I greatly admire you."
Antiquated?? You joined in 2015, that can't be that long ago! That's when I joined!
... are WE the antiquated now?... | PitchforkArms
07.06.22 | Damn, dude - been seeing you post and comment for so long. The early/mid 2010s was a fun time on this site. Were you ever in any of the plug.dj sessions? | RogueNine
07.06.22 | Accurate on Dev lol. | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | @pitchforkarms
Yeah for a while. Mostly with jac, pleb and some of the other Aussie guys (I know plebs a pom). Yeah early 2010s was a bit loose haha | PitchforkArms
07.06.22 | Man oh man. I remember some of those sessions. It's how I got exposed to some non BTBAM metal LOL. | pizzamachine
07.06.22 | 🎸♫♬🎵 🎼 🎶 ♬🎸 | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | @pitchfork
You should be eternally grateful then haha | Pon
07.06.22 | Big love ❤️ | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | U2 jaccy boy | Egarran
07.06.22 | Thank you, I love these historical reviews. | bloc
07.06.22 | Today I learned Pon is Jacquibim | Dedes
07.06.22 | @Mars
I was referencing him as the old bastard but alas, I believe it is we who are also approaching Elder status.
Do remember who were the veterans when we joined. Those who joined in 2006-2007, only 8 or 9 years before us. We are there, friend. We are there. | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | @bloc
You didn’t know? Legit? | Pon
07.06.22 | Looks like the jig is up | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | I saw the fluttershy avi, checked the reviews and put 2 and 2 together. Fuck I remember we all had mlp avatars for a while there | Pon
07.06.22 | It isn't Fluttershy but ye, I dunno how anyone couldn't have worked it out lol
"I remember we all had mlp avatars for a while there" and what a glorious time it was m/m/ | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | I’ve never seen it but I was having fun lol | parksungjoon
07.06.22 | >we all had mlp avatars for a while there
it was like 3 or 4 people at most | JohnnyoftheWell
07.06.22 | damn, think i featured this on impulse immediately before falling asleep but having read through, it was 100% mucho *worth it*!! happy 13th fucker, glad you've stuck around so long | SIMBOLIC
07.06.22 | @parksungjoon
Sorry, *everyone that mattered
Take that bitch!
@johnny
Genuinely appreciate the feature, probably the most effort I’ve put into anything on this site ever fr xxoo | parksungjoon
07.06.22 | rip fluttertrank agreed | bloc
07.07.22 | "You didn’t know? Legit?"
I legit thought Pon was Observer | MarsKid
07.07.22 | "Do remember who were the veterans when we joined. Those who joined in 2006-2007, only 8 or 9 years before us. We are there, friend. We are there."
I almost slipped in the shower today so yea I'm spiritually in my 70s | SIMBOLIC
07.07.22 | @bloc
Lol must be a bit of a headfuck moment 😂 | SIMBOLIC
07.07.22 | Aww man. It got un featured 😔 | parksungjoon
07.07.22 | rude |
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