Adriana/Reverse Perpendiculars

Reviews 25
Approval 96%

Soundoffs 38
News Articles 4
Band Edits + Tags 78
Album Edits 249

Album Ratings 152
Objectivity 73%

Last Active 11-16-15 11:10 pm
Joined 10-03-09

Forum Posts 300
Review Comments 8,110

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10.03.13 Parallels' 4-year Sputnikversary 10.02.13 So Yeah, I'm A Girl...
09.02.13 B-side Yourself 08.18.11 Closing The Borders Bookstore
07.14.11 Strangely Arousing 12.16.10 Elder Scrolls V Skyrim!
05.06.10 What Does Sputnik Think Of Me?04.21.10 Site Ranks....ranked.
12.16.09 I'm In My Local Newspaper's Front Page

Closing The Borders Bookstore

So like you already have known, I am an employee at Borders on the cutting line, about to lose my job because of the bankruptcy. You know what? After all the crap I've had to deal with, I'm kind of happy. Our customers should be too, I mean, now they don't have to waste 15 minutes of trying to find a parking spot-they can just shop on Amazon at home in their pajamas. Now I won't have to pick up your entire shopping cart worth of stuff that you suddenly decided you didn't want. That will take me obviously 60 seconds to put 18 books in their respective, alphabetical places because I'm fucking superman when it comes to putting books away. Seriously, the stores are wrecks, even if every employee worked 24/7 to clean it up it wouldn't stay clean even for a day. The customers coming in for the sales are like rabid animals, saying they are glad we are leaving throwing books in their basket like some kind of sick creature. I still manage to have customers that think I am supposed to wait on them hand and foot like a slave, escorting them to each area of the store as if I were carrying them on an egyptian throne and serving them with fine wine and grapes. Others just don't understand that we can't look up a book for them anymore. "Well, don't you have a computer?" What did I just say? Did you expect me to look it up in a rolodex? No I do not have a computer, or you would plainly be able to see it on my desk. The liquidators came in and took our computers away, so we have no inventory system and we pretty much are like chickens with our heads cut off. Im glad that you customers believe Ill be just fine when this store closes, because this company will provide me with excellent benefits and a healthy severance package. This should go without saying, considering they already pay me a six-figure salary to use a cash register with an operating system hasnt been up-dated since 2001. I'm also disturbed at the amount of people who suddenly care about my job, walking up to me and asking "Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening, what will you ever do now?" Well, first of all, who the fuck are you? You obviously haven't shopped here in years considering you don't know where the cafe is, and I dont even know you! Its quite poor form to ask a stranger such personal questions until youve at least bought them a drink. Theres really no need to continue pretending you are concerned for my well being. I gave up the carefully constructed pretense that I give a shit about you when the first sign reading NOTHING HELD BACK! was hung. Also I'm glad I won't have to babysit your fucking 5 year old kid while you roam the store complaining about your 5$ coffee, when your books were four times the price each. Obviously it was more important than that multitude of overpriced movies as well. Maybe you didn't realize this, but had better sales before we closed. Our FREE rewards program gave out 33-50% coupons nearly every damn day, but you seem quite ecstatic about the liquidators 10-20% closing store sale. Obviously you will be upset when the sales drop to 70% off and the books you purchased will now be as cheap as Ramen noodles. No, I will not hold your books so you can wait till they are cheaper than dirt. Yes, I will find every single stash of items you attempt to make in the store and replace it with various pictures of Gnomes and Dexter. What's that? You don't like our overhead music selection? its called death metal, you don't like it? well, its less vulgar than the substance you allow your kids to listen to on the radio. No, we aren't angry that we are losing our jobs, we just wanted to share our influences with you. Hope you enjoy my coworkers recent purchase of Dethklok as well. You do realize that Borders is not a store that censores their products? We have a section full of Penthouse stories as well as the kind of books that would have pictures of women in corsets bending over guys with a strap on. Your futile complaints are not helping anyone and the fact that you are actually asking me if we are closing is quite stupid. Obviously the four-foot tall signs that scream STORE CLOSING! in bold primary colors are somewhat subtle and easily overlooked. To be fair, there are only like 500 of them. We really should have more signs if we expect you to get the message. This is pretty much what I have had to go through everyday:
2Kings of Leon
Come Around Sundown
4Paul Simon
So Beautiful or So What
5The Secret Sisters
The Secret Sisters
6 Elton John And Leon Russell
7Sarah McLachlan
Laws of Illusion
8Susan Boyle
The Gift
9Josh Groban
10Alison Krauss and U nion Station
Paper Airplane
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