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Last Active 05-27-15 3:07 am
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05.27.15 How To Be A Transgendered Hipster Audio10.03.13 Parallels' 4-year Sputnikversary
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How To Be A Transgendered Hipster Audiophile

by prllels no fucks given
1Against Me!
Transgender Dysphoria Blues

Have a crippling gender dysphoria that causes you to hate your life and self to the point that you are on the verge of killing yourself if you don't transition, and end up losing your lover if applicable, all your friends (keeping only the ones that only tolerate you just to be polite), and fucking over any future job and home security and using all your money just to maintain your new gender. And all the while we will drown our depression with music.
2Viet Cong
Viet Cong

Listen to music at almost every waking moment and keep your music at the utmost quality. On Reddit or 4chan or some other godforsaken forum like Sputnikmusic? Mellow out in your music and spend a fair amount of time archiving and molding that shit into the best flac library ever. But no vinyls, trans are too modern for vinyl players and we have enough on our plate to go through with the expense and trouble of vinyl mediums.
3Pearl Jam

Cry to your music past the age of 21. Some things just get to you, like that line from The Gaslight Anthem's Great Expectations where he says "Everybody leaves and why, why wouldn't you?" and music will hit you too hard b/c muh trans troubles and passing is difficult if you already went through your first puberty
4My Bloody Valentine
Isn't Anything

Dress right and wear the right shit for your age. Think opposite gendered clothes that you would normally wear. Example: If you're a MTF then wear a catchy women's hoodie sweater with long sleeves, a qt t-shirt, and some stretchy jeans with light or natural makeup. Bad: A short skirt with a jet black corset and scene makeup. Half of this is about self-respect, and any well-to-do off person will tell you that how you dress is how you respect yourself.
5Arcade Fire

Like songs and know the bands that have publicly respectable songs that are LGBT themed so you can connect with other music ppls. Some notable songs to get you started are Fuckmylife666 by Against Me!, We Exist by Arcade Fire, Transgender by Crystal Castles, and Taste in Men by Placebo

80's aesthetically sounding indie pop that your high school friends would have said is boring is perfect for hipster status. Proclaim how it is something you can be yourself and chill to, smoke to, and most importantly browse dank memes to. This is the hipster-est part of your look so build it carefully. If it's not in the database yet on Sputnikmusic or you are one of the few listeners on then you definitely on the right track. Here's a few goodies: Night Things' Sleeping Beauty, Craft Spells' Idle Labor, Shy for Shore's 1985, and A Sunny Day in Glasgow's Sea When Absent
7Aphex Twin
Selected Ambient Works 85-92

At minimum enjoy some form of electronic or industrial music. This not only gives you the appearance of a styled listener but someone who takes great pride in making sure they don't listen to dad rock and actually play music through something qualitative rather than iPod stock headphones or Sony Xplodes. Common choices are Grimes, Massive Attack, Purity Ring and Nine Inch Nails
A to B: Life

Have a small yet prominent amount of more aggressive music to make yourself appear edgy. Have a couple newer prog metal albums of Isis and Opeth, some death metal like Death, or some self respecting post-hardcore like mewithoutYou. Without this crucial step you may risk looking ridiculous like SeaAnenome or worse, the mindfuck of musical genres that is SowingSeason, as people will not believe you actually listen to your own music. The goal is to have a respectable library that users will love some and hate some equally from (like RedSkyForMiles, RIP). If your library is too easy to get along with then you aren't being aggressive enough. Someone needs to hate something in your library, be it some elitist that dosent like Between the Buried and Me or an anti-hardcore listener that never could get into the Dillenger Escape Plan because of the screams.
9A Sunny Day in Glasgow
Sea When Absent

Avoid the LGBT themed artists and songs across all of the genres that are fucking embarrassing and make you look like a flamboyant fred flintstone in a dress that beats off to your wearing mom's clothes. Avoid Scissor Sisters, t.A.T.u, Jeffree Star, Kylie Minogue, RuPaul, Katy Perry, and shit like Adam Lambert like the plague. Obvious LGBT artists are ok to have in your library but don't overdo it., because no one is going to take you or your listening habits seriously if your top 5 artists are New Order, Elton John, kd Lang, Madonna and Queen
10Craft Spells
Idle Labor

Have that really weird part of your library that some will be like "omg they listen to that to?" or they will shake their head at seeing, like video game OST's to the Final Fantasy games, soundtracks from a very random selection of movies, or anime music. Even obscure 80's classic hits work well for this, like Toto's Africa or Wang Chung's Dance Hall Days.

Finally, make ridiculously autistic lists and comments on Sputnikmusic until the userbase dissipates over the course of nearly half a decade, and is replaced with a newer base that considers you to be a seasoned veteran user that commented alongside the "originals," witnessing major events such as jombombs, michaeljordan's escapades, nicer dicer, Deviant's rise to staffdom, and even witchxrapist's extreme transgender trolling b8, despite originally joining Sputnikmusic as the 2nd plebiest user behind ReturntoRock. Spend your years of bottling your transgenderism until it explodes and you don't give any fucks about the world, and your music habits will bloom into the aforementioned hipster audiophile status.
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