keyboardxmosh: Critique These Lyrics Bwos?

keyboardxmosh 01.30.12	The poor man's cure for the issues in his head, Can be found in his incessent need to displace, deny... ...displace, deny, project. When you're invariably honest, lashing out is passé. Remember when you were fourteen? How awkward was that? The lack of responsibility was not rewarding. Is upholding the attitudes of your pubescent days Supposed to guide you to stability in anyway? My educated guess is that it will not, and so I'm asking all of the twenty-something man-children: Disarm your artillery, the heat for heat's sake is not working. *** List is major influences on my writing style.
Trebor17 01.30.12	good
thunderpcats 01.30.12	I remember when I was fourteen, and it was awkward. This line is awkward. Good lyrics overall, though.
Trebor17 01.30.12	yeah, I would use some clever word play instead of flat out saying awkward
Turtlestlker 01.30.12	^ , also good stuffs.
keyboardxmosh 01.30.12	I shall ponder how to fix said line, thanks bwos.
Shuyin 01.30.12	its k
wacknizzle 01.30.12	the lyrical subject is really great man, i'm starting abnormal psych on wednesday, defense mechanisms will control you unless u act upon it to realize it and change. It's a great concept and i like where your going with it man. those albums are awesome btw.
thunderpcats 01.30.12	the edit of that line still seems weird to me.
tarkus 01.30.12	theres a thread for this in the forums prob with more knowledgable people
keyboardxmosh 01.30.12	yeah i posted it on the forums, of course i'll probably only get a response form NEEDTOPOST that says "this sucks" "the edit of that line still seems weird to me." well then!