Get Low
03.12.23 | You are going to have to deal with bullshit everywhere you work. There's no use taking a paycut if your current job is tolerable, because you'll likely just run into the same problems. |
Manatea
03.12.23 | I guess the question is how badly will a pay cut affect your current lifestyle? If you can still manage with it… I dunno though, honestly I would take a look at what causes those anger issues so you don’t run into the same thing at your new place. Might be dumb of me but wouldn’t want you to run into the same problem again. |
ToSmokMuzyki
03.12.23 | this is what they'd get from me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╭∩╮ |
artiswar
03.12.23 | @Get Low that's true but a reset can be nice right?
@Manatea it will definitely affect me to some extent, inflation has been a bitch over here. No one here wants a pay cut but it would be mostly negligible and not a main factor in this decision. I'm pretty chill most of the time, but after 8-12 months of working with the same people, I just start losing it |
artiswar
03.12.23 | @ToSmok I can't tell if that's a middle finger or a penis and I don't want to know |
ToSmokMuzyki
03.12.23 | depends how mad i am |
Manatea
03.12.23 | Yeah I guess it boils down to what you think is best for you then. I can’t afford to take a pay cut so I kind of just deal with it, but if you’re jumping from job to job because people start upsetting you after a while, I would recommend sorting that out as a long-range thing. |
artiswar
03.12.23 | Idk Smok, you seem to be looking at that penis very lustfully, you don't look mad.
Manatea will you be my therapist so I can deal with my unresolved issues? |
ToSmokMuzyki
03.12.23 | i smile when angry. if ive been frowning all day and you suddenly see my lips curl, run |
Get Low
03.12.23 | "@Get Low that's true but a reset can be nice right?"
I suppose it could, but I've always found starting a new job to be extremely stressful.
|
artiswar
03.12.23 | I'll be your therapist Smok |
ToSmokMuzyki
03.12.23 | we can all rub each other's shoulders together ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (thats my actual lusty face) |
artiswar
03.12.23 | Get Low, I find ending a job very stressful! More stressful than getting a new one |
artiswar
03.12.23 | I kid you not, I worked at a place where the managers would just walk over and start giving you a back rub. It was like an unspoken part of the benefits package or something. It was pretty surreal and I never understood why that was a thing |
Manatea
03.12.23 | “Will you be my therapist…?”
Always bby. But tomorrow. Waking up early and already losing an hour here. Fuck daylight savings |
artiswar
03.12.23 | Ok goodnight. I wonder what Mana Tea would taste like. Maybe like hot Red Bull |
PotsyTater
03.12.23 | Mmmm hot red bull
What is the ceiling for your current job? Is there room for you to advance? If so how does that compare to the ceiling at the prospective job? Is staying at the current job just for the prospect of advancement worth it if you don’t like it to begin with? And if not, is the salary of the prospective job enough to comfortably satisfy your overhead until you move up and get a raise? If both jobs satisfy your basic needs then your mental health should be your next priority. Unless it is a recurrent problem that exists outside of work, you shouldn’t put up with a career that makes you feel like you need to go to anger management. Prioritize your happiness and mental health. |
Parallels
03.12.23 | The real question is can you try to work past irritations as something you can shrug off and work past (i.e. can you stop giving a fuck at work about mundane details/their nitpicks or will they just slam harder on you out of spite/sadism), or are they largely causing undue amounts of stress that is affecting vital parts of your life (sleep/happiness/etc.). |
unclereich
03.12.23 | the grass is never greener chap |
Purpl3Spartan
03.12.23 | TIL smok has a lusty face |
MoM
03.12.23 | [2] to Potsy’s comment. A lot of great questions to consider |
ToSmokMuzyki
03.12.23 | wtf did u think this meant spartan jeez ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) |
artiswar
03.12.23 | thanks mom
Potsy, my savings are such that I can fuck off for a year comfortably. Advancement and to a lesser extent pay are not huge issues in this case, I mostly need stability. But after being in the same place for a year, it leads to inevitable conflict where co-workers I otherwise respect have some complex misunderstanding and I get so angry that I can't really communicate, and it just leads to me to having really intense somewhat irrational feelings that kind of scare me. It makes me think I just have to leave and abandon the situation because the pressure release valve is just fucked |
artiswar
03.12.23 | the situation was basically smoothed over and it's back to business as usual, but I'm not ok with it. I'm really angry like a lot of the time for the past few days |
RogueNine
03.12.23 | In my experience, the money's not worth it if you're unhappy. |
Egarran
03.12.23 | Have you felt anger in all your jobs? Take the new job and see if your issues persist.
It may simply be the act of working that pisses you off. |
artiswar
03.12.23 | When someone oversteps their role at work or when someone blatantly fucks up in a dumb way when I expect more, it really pisses me off yeah. It usually happens once or twice a year, not very often. But when it does happen it sticks with me. Once I reach a level of anger I clam up and can't really express myself. Then I just seethe about it horribly for a long time. I don't mind work itself |
pizzamachine
03.12.23 | Sounds like keep the job or leave and find a job with less co-workers. |
artiswar
03.12.23 | I know I need anger management and therapy but these things are long overdue and not practical to get into right now. I think one more fuck up and I'll quit. I'll try to keep it together |
Egarran
03.12.23 | It's interesting - you've never seemed the angry type here on sput. Based on that, we can rule out that you are the problem.
So that's another sign that you should take the new job. |
unclereich
03.12.23 | I quit a great job because I fucking hated my boss. he was fired like a year later for harassment. oops |
unclereich
03.12.23 | damn brother anger management? are you sure youre just not being overly critical? that's a serious self diagnosis if so. hope you're ok-only you know what's going on inside you. if you actually need anger management I really encourage you to use that money you said you have, and take some time off. you need to put yourself first for once by getting your mind in order. unless you have your mind body and soul healthy or in the process of healing, it is going to be mighty difficult to figure out where you will thrive. please allow yourself to focus on your health. |
artiswar
03.12.23 | I don't think it's normal to have violent fantasies about your co-workers for extended periods of time. I wouldn't act on them, but yeah I have anger issues that can be triggered pretty simply if you know me. Probably some APD and BPD symptoms too. Am fucked up. I may need a fresh start |
pizzamachine
03.12.23 | “I know I need anger management and therapy but these things are long overdue and not practical to get into right now.”
Sounds practical just based on the fact you say you need them |
artiswar
03.12.23 | It's been offered a couple of times but I don't think there's an argument in the world that would convince me it's not a scam. I can't even visualize a scenario where I would take something like that seriously |
pizzamachine
03.12.23 | I know someone taking therapy currently and they fuckin’ love it. They don’t just talk to you they teach you techniques to deal with your situation, they’re professionals, etc. |
artiswar
03.12.23 | Hollywood movies have ruined therapy for me I think. I don't think I could ever trust or open up to a therapist. Maybe if it was like Jordan Peterson cause he's such a weird dork that I could relate to him |
twlight
03.12.23 | Definitely go to anger management |
artiswar
03.12.23 | nothing can fix this. I'll just start loathing my therapist, only this time I would be paying to be angry instead of getting paid to be angry |
Ryus
03.12.23 | idk what industry/job market ur in but can u secure a job before leaving? maybe u wont even have to take a pay cut |
pizzamachine
03.12.23 | “nothing can fix this.”
Negative af dude |
artiswar
03.12.23 | don't neg me bro, I'm trying to like open up and shit. I'm even being serious for once |
artiswar
03.12.23 | @Ryus the paycut is ultimately irrelevant. I can negotiate that or work my way back up. It's more of an existential crisis |
Ryus
03.12.23 | i see. in that case i think this may be above sputs paygrade lol |
artiswar
03.12.23 | lol it's sad then but you guys are my support system for deeply personal questions like this. I've already made up my mind about what to do but your guys' input has been noteworthy and I've considered it |
DocSportello
03.12.23 | Have you ever seen an individual therapist for three sessions or longer? I can relate to your misgivings and I'm curious |
artiswar
03.12.23 | I've never spent 5 minutes with a therapist. I'm hyper distrustful of them even though I know multiple people who go to them with seemingly positive results (?) |
IsisScript80
03.12.23 | “nothing can fix this. I'll just start loathing my therapist, only this time I would be paying to be angry instead of getting paid to be angry”
I‘ve never been to anger management, but I would assume a decent, reputable one would have come across this issue and be equipped to deal with… well… patients that have a general anger with those around them (including the therapist)?
It seems like you need some external, professional help. |
DocSportello
03.12.23 | You should be distrustful of them. Bad therapists can deplete your wallet, your openness, your ability to navigate the world. But a good therapist can be an invaluable tool for self-scrutiny, and many of the good ones are willing to work with you on money (be honest, be uncompromisingly honest) and if you approach it properly even the act of 'shopping around' for therapists can function as a way of regaining some personal agency in the matter. Having the power to say Hmmm nah didn't like that one, next – or even Hmmm fuck that therapist, this was stupid. Idk, I could tell you my own experiences but not in public like this |
artiswar
03.12.23 | I'm not sure how I would find someone.
I'd be very interested in hearing your experience Doc, how would you like to do it if not on here? |
DocSportello
03.12.23 | add me on discord? |
Sinternet
03.12.23 | yeah you def need anger management lol this is not normal reaction |
ToSmokMuzyki
03.12.23 | hmm get a therapist that was an ex champion wrestler and that way u can freely attack him until he kicks your ass enough that the rage is gone |
PotsyTater
03.12.23 | @art from what u said to me above it sours like you are financially secure and your biggest priority is job security. From further reading it sounds like you think the anger issue is a problem beyond the scope of your career path and that it may, in fact, be a contributor to your dissatisfaction at work. If this is the case perhaps the best course of action is to address the root of the problem first, before making an impulsive decision that you might later regret. I think the idea of going to anger management or seeing a therapist is sound. If you have enough savings to comfortably take a year off of work, perhaps you could even take a mental health vacation for a few weeks while you try out your options. If you can get some help navigating your anger issues and you still aren’t seeing any relief from your feelings of discontentment at work then maybe you will feel better about making a big decision like leaving for a new job at that point. At least you will have then explored the avenue of it being a “you” problem rather than a work problem and you can make a more objective decision.
Does your workplace have any resources at your disposal btw? HR department or anything like that? |
PotsyTater
03.12.23 | Also regarding the distrust of therapists, that is understandable. It can be difficult to find the person who is the right fit for you and sometimes you need to try a few out to find that person. Some tips for finding someone suitable:
-if you are distrusting then look for counsellors rather than therapists or psychologists. Not only are they often cheaper, but they are usually younger and newer to the profession, thus more enthusiastic, empathetic, relatable, and more progressive about how they interact with you.
-in extension of the counsellor suggestion, if you are any kind of minority you will often be able to find organizations that specifically work with people of specifics sexuality/gender/race. For instance, I have a gay friend who found an organization that specifically counsels LGBTQIA+ individuals and with LGBTQIA+ counsellors. He worked with a couple general therapists before this and hated the experience but has found this organization to be extremely helpful and it has turned his opinion around. |