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User
Reviews 16
Approval 95%
Soundoffs 8
Album Ratings 1099
Objectivity 63%
Last Active 04-22-21 3:46 am
Joined 01-18-14
Review Comments 13,330
| A Tribute To The Best Sput User Evar
Although many of you are very dear to my heart as you know, there is one who towers over you all. And that is… The man, the legend himself, Maynard James Keenan. You are in like the Top 3 singers of all time for me, and the fact that you actually gave us the chance to shoot the shit with you personally about Tool and life is just so fucking cool and down-to-earth. I guess the media has always perpetuated a perception that you’re kind of this egotistical, aloof, condescending dick-bag but you’ve made me realize how I’ve just been a slave to the media. You’re actually so fucking open and caring and insightful, and it’s like you could be living right next door. I love you man, please come back and give us more insight into the new Tool album! Btw can I please get a signed copy of the new album? Plz, this took me 37 days to compile. Do I qualify for some sort of lifetime discount at your wine dispensary? Well, might as well plug that for you while I’m at it, please visit https://caduceus.org for the dopest wine. And even if you’re not 21 or older, still hit yes to enter. List is digs and quotes. | | 1 |  | Puscifer
Money Shot
I can remember a time when I really wanted a Christopher Guy McQueen Sofa but they were never available. It would have been a great addition to my Jiu-Jitsu room. It would have been the perfect piece to fit in that room, to complete it. I could have emailed them repeatedly and lost my temper but I am not a child and I moved on. Now I own 3 of them. There is a lesson here, patience leads to good things. Anyhoo, I appreciate the words. Projecting on me due to something out of my control just seems irrational and thoughtless.
- MJK utterly owning a troll with his Third Eye | | 2 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
Only time will tell. I recommend diving into an obscure hobby that manages to take your mind off of irrelevant future obsessions while at the same time leaving preoccupied space in your mind free to be productive. Knitting is an acquired taste, burning runes in oak sleeves shouldn't go unnoticed. Bottom line. I have been drinking Nagual Del Judith Aglianico nonstop since the 1st and felt obligated to give you all blunt force truth. The new album (which hasn't been titled yet due to writer's block and shenanigans with Adam, Danny and Justin) will not be released until Fall. Get some sun, read a book...or two, find yourself. Find something that is attainable. You are just torturing yourselves at this point and it is just silly. I have been very busy and it just feeds my ego more when all I see everywhere are accusations and people begging for the album to drop. Ask yourself this question before bedtime. | | 3 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
Is this what you want? Anyhoo, please visit https://caduceus.org/product/2016-nagual-del-judith-aglianico/ and mention my name for a discount.
- MJK on the virtues of staying busy | | 4 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
This is personal. I hope none of you have to deal with the loss of your Mother anytime soon. I was going through a lot when this was being recorded and wanted to incorporate some of the feelings and memories I had in a short time, I was happy with this album and I am still happy with it today. It is one of my best projects. The band feels the same.
-MJK defending 10000 Days against haters on the internet | | 5 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
Iambic pentameter is what put Adam in a state of bliss while at the same time displaying a constant accentual syllabic verse in the form of delay per measure, yet at the same time bringing meaning to the verses, particularly 9/8 in the form of no delay, with delay...if that makes sense. Be prepared for the new album, it will be released in early 2019. Please visit https://caduceus.org/
- MJK dropping deep time signature knowledge | | 6 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
Greetings Toolians. Since this will most likely be our last album, we wanted it to be special. We all wanted it to flow in harmony with the universe, which is why we deliberately tuned to A432hz. If anyone is familiar with Verdi's "A", then you will know what we are trying to achieve here. Today's standard tuning is A440hz, which is significantly higher than what was originally a standard, not only by Verdi, but Tibetan Monks as well in hand made instruments. This is important because A432hz is what we wanted specifically for this recording. That's all I can tell you and just a little piece of a "cosmic giant" that I can reveal at this time. Anyhoo, if you haven't visited Tool Army yet, please do so here. https://www.toolband.com/tool-army
- MJK saying some really smart stuff, way too smart for me tbh | | 7 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
FAQ: For those of you who think 10,000 Days is 30 years you need to get a calculater or a time machine to go back to 3rd grade and pay attention. Two and a half years is a long time, but then again I have to take into consideration who I'm communicating with here. Far cry from anything compelling. At least I know how to crop a 100x100 picture for an avatar. Also implying you have never misspelled a word before by frantically typing due to all the vocals I have to sing for this new album and people crawling out of the woodwork to have me sign their tits. But you wouldn't know anything about that now would you? Anyhooo, 5 tracks are recorded and it is going well. Please visit https://caduceus.org/
- MJK getting short with plebs who can’t math | | 8 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
This reminds me of a time when I was a Freshmen in Hydraulics class. A few of my classmates spray painted a cactus/penis on the side of the building where the class took place. I didn't talk much, and they told the teacher it was me. When he asked me about it I retorted with "if I did that it wouldn't look like kindergarten fingerpaintings". He didn't believe me and I was suspended for three days. I'm glad that happened because in those three days, I wrote the lyrics to Hush. Anyhooo, new album will be out before April. Please visit Caduceus Cellars in the meantime.
- MJK reminiscing about his youth | | 9 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
I often lose posture, while coincidentally and unironically losing a sense of direction in any form of derivative within the artistic realm of perfection we all dub as "the Divine" when reading some of these comments. I assure you, there will be a new Tool album next year.
- MJK on the new album back in 2007 | | 10 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
If you haven't checked Caduceus Cellars yet, please do so. Thanks in advance.
- MJK reminding you to visit Caduceus Cellars if you haven’t yet : www.caduceuscellars.com | | 11 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
So you want us, Tool, to make an album deriving on Pi, a mathematical concept taught to 5th grade students, and put a 4D chess aspect into play and meld it into something like ... 6th grade math or something? Pardon me while I burst, into a state of "that's out there". It's out there, in 6th grade math. Anyhoo, Caduceus. Snakes. Cross. Maynard, out.
- MJK talking circles around plebs | | 12 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
You see the spiral in your image? It's a galaxy. Or galaxies. Or, what are you searching for? The light? You want the light? You long for it? You are curious? How many faces have passed since 5/2/2006? Many? Keep searching for the unknown. It seems the light is getting brighter. Nearer. When in reality, it's drifting farther away. That light is propelled so far away that the human mind cannot comprehend. Your peripheral is misleading, seems like you're gaining towards it. When, essentially, with every statue passed, the light is approximately .064 light years away. Every time a face statue passes, that light at the end is farther, by large margins. | | 13 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
Constantly expanding. The universe is constantly expanding at a rate that is hard to calculate. In a million years, if human beings still exist, we will not be able to see other galaxies with a telescope, even the most powerful telescope. Right now, we know there are other galaxies. But in the future? All humans will know is what they see, with their own eyes. This galaxy and its stars, IF we're lucky to still be alive as a race then. At this measure, it's doubtful. Time is one amazing concept.
- MJK blowing minds with his keen insight into existence. I can see how this guy wrote Lateralus! | | 14 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
Speaking of genius, I have just entered the building. Adam, Danny and Justin would like me to lay down some more vocals but I'm on vacation in Cabo San Lucas. What can I say, I love the nightlife here and I'm running out of ideas. Anyhoo, they're just going to have to have some patience.
- MJK on the night-life in Cabo San Lucas | | 15 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
Study the Animus and the Anima and it will become more clear what this album as a whole is really all about. H. is not for heroin by the way, the original song title was Half Empty. If you can do the math you'll see why we decided on H. for the title. And the Æ is pronounced like "ah". ‘Ahnema’. Just so you know, and knowing is half the battle. The other half is telling me what 11 means to me.
- MJK slyly teasing the fans, he is so incorrigible. | | 16 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
If there is any advice I could give to anyone, it wold be this. Never sleep on a great idea. The best ideas only move forward when you are awake and willing. #ambitiongetsshitdone
- MJK dropping cold, hard wisdom on your ass | | 17 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
“The room is so cold with rain,” you said
and you, feminine you, with your flower
said novenas to my ankles and elbows.
You are a national product and power.
Oh my swan, my drudge, my dear wooly rose,
even a notary would notarize our bed
as you knead me and I rise like bread."
The author of this poem is not important, I will convey this in a form most of you can understand. The new album will have a little to do with the letter. It's an Easter egg but at this point I cannot say anymore. I assure you all the long wait will be worth your while.
Cheers from Caduceus.
- MJK being super cryptic as usual, guess we’ll figure out what this means at the end of this August!!! HYPE | | 18 |  | Puscifer
"V" Is For Vagina
"Each frame is a piece of artwork to me. My favorite frames are the ones that look nothing like the object at hand, yet it is the object."
At a glance, this could be said about our cover for this upcoming album. Now if you will excuse me, I must attend the garden. Lei Li's idea. *frown*
- MJK getting cucked. He’s just like us! | | 19 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
Good to see this album getting some attention. I must admit, it wasn't my best performance but I didn't hold back anything. It's what they wanted. *frown*
-MJK possibly casting shade at his bandmates in APC..? DRAMAAAA | | 20 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
'Ello all. It's me, Meanard. Just wanted to say how much I appreciate all of these remarks. Duly noted. I will try to remember how you all feel the next time I am in the studio getting music recorded. My apologies for a sub-par album that doesn't appeal to late teens with brain damage. Anyhoo, there are still some beer koozies left and some AP Eat the Elephant tee's with the alternative album art available. I'll keep in touch, Maynard...out.
-MJK after too much fermented grape juice..? | | 21 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
I was just about to fall asleep when I thought to myself "I better check the internet for some feedback". Then it hit me. I had to come back here to see what has changed since I released this album. I am happy with what I am reading here as of right now. You are all a great crowd with a collective that penetrates through the meek and disgruntled. SowingSeason is right, in a way. I did not want to do those songs, my producer is like an eggshell in a blender. Sometimes it's fun to test him, but the end result is fractured nonsense. At any rate, I would consider eMOTIVe a cover album. But then again, that would mean I covered Passive from myself. Anyhoo... | | 22 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
the t shirts are all out *frown, but there are more free A Perfect Circle memorabilia on the website as we speak! Gotta run now, Joe Rogan wants me to sit through his boring conspiracy hearings, aka another podcast. Namaste.
- MJK praising the fans for a change? And admitting that eMOTIVe wasn’t that great? This is what’s called humility, people. | | 23 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
That song is about me, you table of disc coasters. I wrote a song about people like you on La te ralus. It's track 8, find it and allow me to revel in your discovery. Anyhoo, the shirts are almost gone. Please check the store for more information and if they hassle you tell 'em Maynard sent you. Thanks.
-MJK laying down the law like a true alpha nigga, wut | | 24 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
Billy never said anything like that. You should also get a haircut, that fad died out in 1989. Free t shirts this weekend. Thanks for purchasing my albums.
-MJK defending Billy Howerdel about having 3 session drummers on the new APC while simultaneously insulting JWT155’s outdated mullet. | | 25 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
Quit stepping on my toes. I'm trying to run a business here. Anyhoo, yeah we also have koozies and keychains. If you want a wall poster of the album art, please contact my agent. Once again, a tremendous amount of thanks from your Ego free God in the flesh, me.
-MJK responding to DropTune who started randomly and shamelessly shilling MJK products for no apparent reason | | 26 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
I hope the world is ready for this, presumably not. In any case, I am with Danny right now going over some tracks. I just wanted you all to know it is going to sound like nothing you have ever heard. I released my inner God, the Divine and the Ajna Chakra as well as took the band to Peru for an Ayahuasca vision. I would like to thank my Spirit Guide for making it possible. This was necessary for the recording sessions. Anyhoo, did anyone check out the free t shirts?
-MJK being way, way deeper than your average person. I’d like a word with this Spirit Guide let me tell you… Boy the stories he must have about Maynard! Lolll | | 27 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
I will take note of that the next time I am in the studio recording. Is it okay if I call you up and have you come in and show us how it's done? We would all be more than happy to have you do that. I wish I knew you earlier then I could pay you to give us precise and absolute direction on how properly execute the recording/writing process in and out of the studio. You would be the glue that holds the album together. Anyhoo, Free t shirts this weekend only, thanks for purchasing my albums.
-MJK after a user said he hoped there would be more songs like TalkTalk on the new APC album | | 28 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
A few things to take note of. a) I'm not a monkey. I don't do tricks on command. b) There will be a free t shirt giveaway from this album starting next week. c) To all of those who have a problem with the album cover art, I can tell you this. It meant something to me at the time and it still means a lot to me currently. d) I call it "Morning Fresca/ Boroque Cascade #31". Once again, thank you all for buying my album.
-MJK after being called a pretentious shithead who needs to drop the new album | | 29 | | Puscifer
Money Shot
I appreciate all of the feedback from everyone here at sputnik. I will take into consideration all of your thoughts and diatribes whilst recording my next album. I apologize if most you don't understand it or me for that matter. It will grow and time will tell us all apart. Thanks again for buying my album. Please visit https://www.aperfectcircle.com/ for free t shirts, and a compact disc of the alternative album cover art. (It's a secret).
- MJK politely but firmly handling the mouth-breathing trolls | |
artiswar
06.14.19 | pls come back Maynard | sixdegrees
06.14.19 |
| bloc
06.14.19 | Not gonna lie, that nigga was hilarious | sixdegrees
06.14.19 | waRnIng THat IF You sTOP ReADINg YoU wilL DIE toNiGHt. HI i'M mikE. I'M 11 YeARS OLD BUt I'M DEAD NoW. I hAd nO friends... iF yOU Do NOt Inbox ThiS to 20 FriEnDS YOU WilL DiE tONiGhT AT EXAcTLy 11:59pm. DON'T belIEvE Me? a GUy NAMED jaKE rEAd tHIs aNd LaUgHED LATer that NiGhT i tOOk A KnIfe from HIS KitcHEn And STabBEd HiM To deATH. YoU dOn't WANNA Be Jake dO yoU? A giRL NamEd SandRA INBox iT to OnLy 10 FriENDs SiLlY GiRL shE'S OnlY 11 BUT oh WELl. ThaT DaY SHe SAw ME And RAn tO HeR granDma's HouSe... sHE aSKEd hEr CoULD SHE Use hEr BathRoom Read ! thIs isn't FakE. aPpARENTlY, IF u SEnD His tO 20 FRIEnDs In THE NeXt teN Minutes U WiLL havE tHE bEsT dAY oF UR LIfe tomorRow. U wILL EithER GEt KiSseD or ASKED oUT, If U BreAk THIs cHaiN U Will See A LItTlE DeAd gIrl In yOur room tOniGhT. IN 53 MInS sOmEoNe wiLL SAy i lOve You or I'm sORRy 11 Min. · STep 1- KISS yoUr hand sTeP 2- Say your crusHEs NaME stEP 3- clOsE yOuR hAND STep 4- saY a weEk day StEp 5- say YoUr naME STEp 6- Open YoUR hAND Step 7- SeNd This tO 20 oTHer frIEnDs reSultS- yoUR CrUsH WILl sAY ThEy lIKe yOU on ThE DaY yoU CHOOSE
| artiswar
06.14.19 | you harshing my buzz six. Now I have to register an email account and email 20 people, wtf.... you're an asshole | butt.
06.14.19 | Ok | Dewinged
06.14.19 | There's a Maynard in all of us, waiting to be unleashed. | Kompys2000
06.14.19 | The real Maynard James Keenan was the friends we made along the way | Sinternet
06.14.19 | who | sixdegrees
06.14.19 | aiwaz most likely | artiswar
06.14.19 | @Kompys2000 if you want to get all metaphysical then yeah I can agree with that statement | TheClansman95
06.14.19 | whole list and post be like "nandato?" | artiswar
06.14.19 | ...no feature? | sixdegrees
06.14.19 | lol | artiswar
06.15.19 | dis shit should be stickied till the end of time, fucking newbs | artiswar
07.04.19 | PLZ MJK
New album is done, so I know you have some time on your hands now, so please come back! I miss our talks. You have no excuse now. I made this fucking list for you. I listened to your music non-stop since high school you asshole... the least you could do is acknowledge me slightly. We post on the same fucking music site! But I guess you're too jaded for that now, sipping your fancy wine and twirling the hair on your latest fancy wig. Fuck you bro. I thought you were real. | Sinternet
07.04.19 | no | artiswar
07.04.19 | we don't know if Maynard for sure identifies as male so I'm not comfortable with making that definitive statement, no. | kalkwiese
07.04.19 | There is only one gender tho
AND IT'S ME, DIO | artiswar
07.04.19 | thas hate speech bro. Take a cement milk-shake to da face, that'll learn ya | kalkwiese
07.04.19 | I deserve it tbh | artiswar
08.15.19 | RIP sput-MJK. Why have you forsaken me. In your eyes forsaken me. In your heart forsaken. MEEeee. Truuuuuuuuust iiiiiiiiiin mmmmyyyYYYyyy self-righteous suiciiIIiide, I cryyyyyyyyy, when Maynards deserve to diiiIIIiiieeee... | sixdegrees
08.16.19 | self promoting your own alt on here is a power move ngl | artiswar
08.17.19 | Oh god, I wish MJK was may alt... I would feel infinitely more secure in my manhood if that were the case. |
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