Martine Balcaen

Reviews 8
Approval 86%

Soundoffs 41
News Articles 2
Band Edits + Tags 22
Album Edits 126

Album Ratings 39
Objectivity 25%

Last Active 04-21-12 11:09 pm
Joined 06-20-10

Forum Posts 6
Review Comments 3,183

01.02.13 Balcaen In 2012: 25 Best Releases05.15.12 Bands I'm Seeing Within The Next Month-
05.14.12 My Favorite Pokemon Is Flaaffy04.26.12 Bongs And Florida
02.22.12 What Was Not In The Database02.19.12 shit metal chicks say
12.28.11 balcaen in 2011: 25 Best Releases 12.20.11 The Hobbit Trailer
10.28.11 R&b Recs09.16.11 Deleted A Bunch Of My Ratings
09.16.11 My Parents Went To Burning Man09.05.11 Hey Sputbuds, Balcaen Has A Srs Questio
07.25.11 Best Genres Revised07.14.11 Happy Birthday To Me
07.12.11 2011 boris ranked06.10.11 btbam ranked
06.08.11 top 5 favorite bands of all-time05.24.11 albums with circles on them : ranked
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late nights spent being puzzled by sputnik, vol. 1

a compilation, in no specific order, of things that i fail to comprehend about sputnik culture. i'll make more of these, probably.
Empty Days and Sleepless Nights

no one that i've met in real life can tell me why these guys don't suck. i have no choice but to conclude that all these high ratings are just trollin' and this is basically the big league version of teeheehee rainbow stab.
2Insane Clown Posse
The Amazing Jeckel Brothers

seriously, have you ever checked the ratings page for every ICP album ever? there isn't a single rating below 2.5. this means that a disturbing amount of people have heard worse than ICP, and if their objectivity ratings are nice, would much rather listen to ICP than most bands.
Coloring Book

as much as i dig early 2000s glassjaw, i cannot extrapolate for the life of me why the fuck everyone likes their new stuff. the last 3 months have brought a glassjaw fest for sputnik, and i'm convinced everyone is only into it for nostalgic purposes. all of the post-2005 glassjaw sounds the same, and while it sounds alright, it sounds like a potentially awesome band's debut album... and then you remember that glassjaw's old stuff was legend by comparison and is getting worse ratings. wat
4Trophy Scars
Alphabet Alphabets

my favorite trophy scars LP has the worst rating. seriously, sputnik?
The Human Equation

don't get me wrong, i fucking love this album and i don't care much for any other of ayreon's stuff... the fact that some 200~ people are fucking gay enough to agree with me in liking this rock opera epic is... wat
6Lower Definition
The Infinite Et Cetera

i'm not really picking on lower definition here, because they're not atrocious or anything and i'd probably stand to see them live... but honestly, why does this site insist on giving awesome ratings to these post-hardcore bands that play music that hasn't sounded original or interesting since 2005?
7Lights Out Asia
Eyes Like Brontide

i have never seen any hate for post-rock on this site, ever. i have also never seen excessive amounts of hype for any post-rock. there seems to be an inexplicable, unsaid consensus that post-rock is just 'pretty cool' all across the board.
OK Computer

everyone loves radiohead. this probably isn't limited to sputnik in any stretch, but holy shit. this band could claim themselves as monarchy of the most serene republic of radiohead and half of sputnik would move there.
Marrow of the Spirit

an obscene amount of people with a hard on for incredibly boring black metal.
10The Wonder Years
The Upsides

you're all closet pop punk fans. it's really cute.
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