|
Staff
Reviews 368
Soundoffs 76
News Articles 102
Band Edits + Tags 1,289
Album Edits 659
Album Ratings 4407
Objectivity 75%
Last Active 01-01-70 12:00 am
Joined 01-01-70
Review Comments 60,309
| New users :: REVIEWED
Sputnik is famously DYING, it is no longer possible to register new accounts, and with one button press Sowing has single-handedly transformed this from a vast net positive to a universal negative. Tis the season of cope, and my cope strategy right now is the round up as many users as I can find who have either registered or come out of the woodwork within the last year or so and appreciate the fact of their existence (and often other things besides). This is potentially Sputnik's final ever generation etcetc so be grateful maybe. Will be following thru with a Which New User Are You personality quiz shortly. | | 1 |  | Utsu-P
UNIQUE
AnimalForce1
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/AnimalForce1
While they've technically been on the site since 1970/2020/some time in between, this has most defs been the year AnimalForce1 has knuckle down and done a Sputnik
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Somewhat fringe but nonetheless notable presence in discussions, earnest addition to any thread from what I've seen. Good shit, post more!
TASTE CRIMES: aplenty! Standard Sput butt-era metalcore taste, which is either redeemed or complemented (depending on your standpoint) by an active interested in J-/K-Pop and vocaloid music. Foundation might be a stale template, but they're doing at least refreshing things with that ratings chart.
CONTENT PROVIDED: At the rate of approx one solid-quality review per month, AnimalForce1 is steadily putting half the Contributor roster to shame. Good shit.
RATING: GOOD USER | | 2 |  | Counterparts
A Eulogy for Those Still Here
bellovddd
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/bellovddd
If the primary metric for this appraisal were whether or not I was surprised by how the user in question's recency of join date, bellovddd would be coasting lol. And yet and yet and yet January 2023? Aight then:
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Feel like he's been part of both the Sput mxcore crowd and casual convo community for much longer. Good vibes, many comments, big discussion, lfg. Greatest character flaw by far is the degree to which he enables pizzamachine - get that shit under control
TASTE CRIMES: "favorite bands Counterparts, Polaris, END, The Smith Street Band," uh yeah if 4000 ratings haven't been enough to turn things around, we might have a lost cause here
CONTENT PROVIDED: jfc how do you already have 36 reviews calm down boi
RATING: GOOD USER | | 3 |  | John Frusciante
Niandra LaDes and Usually Just a T-Shirt
bighubbabuddha
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/profile.php?memberid=1297949
Known to most as that bundle of wet farts that just appeared in their shoutbox, buddhuhahaba now feels like an inescapable part of Sputnik. Is this a blessing or are we doomed? I am still tbqh undecided, but buddhauser has at the very least made the most decadent pockets of the site feel that much more alive
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Reasonable, if infrequent thread participation, but hubbadubba mainly shines behind semi-closed doors. He knows y'all are peeping
TASTE CRIMES: Relatively inoffensive and eager to learn!
CONTENT PROVIDED: 5 semi-interesting ranking lists and no revs? Raise your game boi
RATING: GOOD USER | | 4 |  | Grant MacDonald
Ram Ranch
brendanissnaz
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/brendanissnaz
Perhaps better known as the loose cannon whose been bombarding us with Sputcore ranking lists for the past month, and... and... and? has a 2017 join date but almost no other record of involvement since then outside of their ratings chart? Intriguing.
COMMUNITY SERVICE: 12 comments in 6 years is quite frankly something I aspire to
TASTE CRIMES: Yup, that's a sputnikmusic ratings list. Can't see the wood for the trees here - nothing concerning though
CONTENT PROVIDED: lol do fugazi next
RATING: ...SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT? | | 5 |  | Shiner
Lula Divinia
constantchange
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/constantchange
I'm definitely stretching this a little, as constantchange has a 2022 join date and I remember their posts more from that year than this one, but
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Posi vibes only! No holds barred stanning of atmospheric skronk bands great and small! Prolific bumper of a handful of chosen threads! Noise gremlin of the good guitar! Awesome
TASTE CRIMES: Greatest and most terrible contribution to the site has been dramatically enabling Mort.'s diabolical Vote Shiner! campaign and all neighbouring acts
CONTENT PROVIDED: Lol c'mon give us at least another list please
RATING: GOOD USER | | 6 |  | Fear Factory
Demanufacture
cycosynner
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/cycosynner
Feel like I know this user more from their lists and the occasional comment than anything else, and ngl it's a struggle to form a clear impression of them, but they've definitely put in a fair shift since signing up
COMMUNITY SERVICE: You are there (to be continued?)
TASTE CRIMES: A little Coldplay simping does not a nu-metal die-hard redeem
CONTENT PROVIDED: Solid handful of reviews and a decent, often interactive set of lists - nice
RATING: GOOD USER IN THE MAKING! Keep doing what you're doing | | 7 |  | A Tribe Called Quest
The Low End Theory
FowlKrietzsche
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/FowlKrietzsche
I'm... not sure exactly how I found you? I think it had something to do with an off-site hypothesis that literally all users with bird usernames or account themes are absolute garbage (there is a *strong* case), but that doesn't explain how I got to your almost year-old account? LOVE a bit of mystery in a new user!
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Post more!!!
TASTE CRIMES: Nothing to antagonise here - solid online music fan set of 5s with next to no Sputcore bias and some genuinely great picks. Oh wait, a Tool 5? Uh, get, uh, fucked, I guess? Heritage 1 is also a bad look - don't you dare tell me that shit belongs in the same bracket as Jackpot Juicer -_-
CONTENT PROVIDED: Ohhhhh that's how I found you - that recent Blackwater Park review! That was a good read - loved how thorough your analysis was and how well your clear familiarity and affection for the band translated into unflinching criticism. You've got a good style, definitely a few kinks to work out and a little streamlining to do, but that will come naturally in time. More of this please, keep writing!
RATING: datapool is too narrow to declare a GOOD USER quite yet, but rest assured you're almost certainly the BEST BIRD USER | | 8 |  | Limp Bizkit
Significant Other
FrozenFirebug
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/FrozenFirebug
Technically not a new user, as 1) 2014 join date, and 2) in my headcanon he has essentially been filling the greasy, sweaty seat CrimsonCanine or whoever the fuck left after he got banned and so has been around since whenever, but all his actual content dates from 2023 and so yes whatever byebye woodwork, here we go
COMMUNITY SERVICE: infrequent bursts of trolling that would be a lot funnier if they weren't also transparently self-deprecating shittake he actually believes. Not much else to speak of
TASTE CRIMES: too many to mention
CONTENT PROVIDED: 14 mostly lame shitpost lists in a decade of site membership makes me question whether his 0 reviews are actually a hidden blessing.
RATING: learn to effortpost, you dork-ass post-ironic coward | | 9 |  | AC/DC
Let There Be Rock
iHaveSex
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/iHaveSex
Hahaha I do remember reading comments from this user, but can't recall anything good or bad about them beyond that username.
COMMUNITY SERVICE: "I didn’t join this site to be ridiculed I’m leaving" is the only appropriate response to a pizzamachine comment; do this again 100 times and you'll be my favourite.
TASTE CRIMES: You are boomer. Are you innocent? Do you have sex
CONTENT PROVIDED: Handful of lists that each generated modest engagement. Room for more, but okay nice nice
RATING: good GOOF USER. Yet to transcend the username, but defs a strong opening move | | 10 |  | Deep Purple
Deep Purple In Rock
Gavierra
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/Gavierra
Mixed feelings on this one: unlike most other users on this list, my impression of Gavierra ultimately comes down to a couple of defining moments that have since shaped my read on their comments (which are generally terse and strictly neutral in tone). Imminent Klatschspalte:
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Only user on this list I've ever seen get bent badly out of shape, and by Hawks at that. While the subsequent discourse was hilarious to watch, it was also an unflattering mask-slip that still hangs heavy over this account
TASTE CRIMES: One of the crustiest ratings charts I have seen a loooong while; one of my most reliable metrics for any given taste profile is how comfortable the user in question is relating to the sound of guitar strings vs. the sound or (ambitious) content of female voices, and this bombs to a frankly hysterical degree on that front. On the plus side, it has made me question whether holding The Mantle as a peak of folk music is about on par with holding Infected Mushroom as a peak of electronic, and I plan on using this bit aggressively and widely
CONTENT PROVIDED: Just been a few months, but all we have to show for it is a handful of lists that range in quality from a redundant Opeth ranking to a nerd discourse list with 300+ comments.
RATING: YOU CAN BE FIXED? | | 11 |  | Evanescence
Fallen
Malen
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/Malen
So, I had no idea who this user is either, but...
COMMUNITY SERVICE: thus far, n/a
TASTE CRIMES: Gothic metal, but this clearly stems from an active level personal engagement - good stuff
CONTENT PROVIDED: 24 reviews, with a May 2023 join date at that? Nice peppy style and impressive rate (especially since I see that you also write for Antichrist). Dunno what this site did to draw you in, but glad you made it in!
RATING: UNDERAPPRECIATED SITE ASSET | | 12 |  | VeggieTales
A Queen, A King, And a Very Blueberry
Minortimbo12
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/Minortimbo12
Timbo's bland of sardonic tsundere cope and absolutely heartbreaking innocence is one of *the* things to happen to Sputnik in the last (*checks notes*) year and a half. I originally forgot to feature him here as I didn't consider him "new", but don't you date confuse that with having adjusted to him
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Timbo posting sessins come as periodic hurricanes: you may miss them in the interim windows, but you will absolutely never be ready for the next
TASTE CRIMES: uh, spotify algorithm shills probably love you almost as much as your church does?
CONTENT PROVIDED: Timbo has most certainly reviewed a few albums
RATING: simultaneously the BEST and WORST user on the entire site | | 13 |  | Unsane
Visqueen
MoM
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/MoM
y'all know exactly who I'm talking about here it is MoM is MoM new? i think MoM is new???
COMMUNITY SERVICE: 5,895 comments? Will take any and all recs and have something to say about them? Will loudly and extensively challenge any nefarious punk trash to a fair and honourable duel? Was a lurker (iirc?) but now is MoM? Lfg?
TASTE CRIMES: Having an unintelligibly long 5s chart for one jfc
CONTENT PROVIDED: With regard to music, at least, MoM is firmly a lover not a fighter. No reviews here
RATING: OEDIPUS COMPLEX/10 | | 14 |  | Basic Channel
Lyot Rmx
myri14
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/myri14
One-user proof that we're finally entering a decent timeline for Sput electronic. Lfg!
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Modest handful of (good) comments + much appreciated off-site presence. Post more!
TASTE CRIMES: Killer taste in techno and glitch, and no slouch on weirdo rock music either.
CONTENT PROVIDED: Couple of review and handful of (good) lists - solid start
RATING: GOOD USER | | 15 |  | Boris
Pink
SomeCallMeTim
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/SomeCallMeTim
Not to be confused with Minortimbo12, SomeCallMeTim is in the same boat as MoM and belovddd - I don't see this trio as new faces at all and have interacted with them easily enough to feel quite awkward writing about them here. Nonetheless...
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Lotta comments lotta takes lotta casual conversationing, you love to see it. Great addition to the crew.
TASTE CRIMES: Tim has solid taste shut up
CONTENT PROVIDED: No revs yet, but a decent handful of lists to cement his presence
RATING: GOOD USER | | 16 |  | The Tallest Man on Earth
The Wild Hunt
strayk
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/strayk
strayk thus far is a comment-only deal and has a distinctive voice that you'll either remember having come across or, uh, you'll get therre! Gains points for a memorable username, but loses them all because SteakByrnes got that market cornered y'all
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Full marks for engaging in earnest and civilised discourse - even if much of this has come from oddly defensive standpoints or are overtly stan-blinded
TASTE CRIMES: [unedited copypaste:]
5.0 classic
The Tallest Man on Earth Shallow Grave
The Tallest Man on Earth The Wild Hunt
The Tallest Man on Earth Sometimes The Blues Is Just A Passing Bird
4.5 superb
The Replacements Let It Be
4.0 excellent
CONTENT PROVIDED: n/a
RATING: HANG IN THERE? | | 17 |  | Don Caballero
Don Caballero II
stupidpuma89
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/stupidpuma89
Banger username and good vibes from (I think) our most recent addition here? Maybe the last user to ever join Sputnik? Is this a bad thing? Discuss
COMMUNITY SERVICE: Wow fewer comments than I remembered - post more!
TASTE CRIMES: Zilch, v cool ratings chart. I see ambient, I see bangers, I see good electronic picks nice nice
CONTENT PROVIDED: Two good revs, two good lists - more please!
RATING: GOOD USER | |
JohnnyoftheWell
12.01.23 | This is the FINAL GANG I cannot wait to crowdfund and then bingewatch their reality TV gettogether lfg | Pheromone
12.01.23 | omg do me | AsleepInTheBack
12.01.23 | Good idea pos pos pos pos pos | DadKungFu
12.01.23 | It's crazy how well beloveddd gels with the general sput-vibe, feels like he's been here for decades | AsleepInTheBack
12.01.23 | Yo yeah I thought beloveddd was ancient oops | ArsMoriendi
12.01.23 | Don’t forget ShapeOfJizzToCum | unclereich
12.01.23 | LeddSledd | ArsMoriendi
12.01.23 | What about Ledd? Guy was more prominent here around the Bigglestein-era | Pheromone
12.01.23 | ledd was 3 whole years ago guys
welcome new users we love you all
please dont leave | ArsMoriendi
12.01.23 | Oh that’s what I was saying lol
| unclereich
12.01.23 | mmmkkk there are multiple users here that joined before or just slightly after him what's your point | unclereich
12.01.23 | denboy | mkmusic1995
12.01.23 | Good job, good users! | JohnnyoftheWell
12.01.23 | yeah ledd is defs senior to most of these - bulk of them have '22 or '23 join dates, and the ones who don't weren't significantly active til this year
how could I forget ShapeOfJizzToCum lmao. is MisogynisticTryhard also new? | unclereich
12.01.23 | any join date in the 20s is new. joining this site after 2016 is unconscionable | Zakusz
12.01.23 | Wait is this actually true that you can't register a new account on the site anymore? Is this site really going away or is this like an inside joke? Cuz I love this place | Ryus
12.01.23 | Ryus | Ryus
12.01.23 | somecallmetim is an old user on a new account | ArsMoriendi
12.01.23 | Which one, Ryus? | unclereich
12.01.23 | there are a few alts here to be sure | unclereich
12.01.23 | I do like this list idea a lot though. im keeping an eye on Gavierra, I like the cut of their jib | Pheromone
12.01.23 | add colton to the list
good new user from a couple months ago :3 | Ryus
12.01.23 | i dont remember maybe he can enlighten us @tim | Christbait
12.01.23 | I know no one and I am no one. | bighubbabuddha
12.01.23 | appreciate the good review johnny. hubba hubba | someone
12.01.23 | "it is no longer possible to register new accounts"
yo for real? | pizzamachine
12.01.23 | “Greatest character flaw by far is the degree to which he enables pizzamachine - get that shit under control”
You sound like my grade 4 teacher. Anyway, this is false. I actually latched onto bellovddd and made him my crunkcore homie, and we aren’t looking back so deal with it. | Manatea
12.01.23 | Am i still new enough? I need a johnny review | pizzamachine
12.01.23 | You shoulda been reviewed. Forgetting you is unacceptable behaviour | Azazzel
12.01.23 | newbies no! this thread is a honeypot! it's A TRAAPP!!! get out with your 5s while you still can!
may the well-dweller have mercy on ye babes | s0nicx
12.01.23 | I know my account was created back in 2019 but I only during the summer start posting semi-regularly. | Zakusz
12.01.23 | Bro someone answer me. I am sad | s0nicx
12.01.23 | It appears to be true @zakusz. | Pheromone
12.01.23 | wait surely you can make a new account
(see: johnny's 4000 alts) | JohnnyoftheWell
12.01.23 | Oh lol it's currently impossible to make a new account, but this is temporary (so they say) - jokes about the site disappearing are all to do with how neglectfully it has been managed and have hopefully no bearing on whether or not or when it will actually disappear one day | Pheromone
12.01.23 | wtf not having the option to make an account seems like soft-launching the end days | DaveyMonsoon
12.01.23 | Joined mid-2022 but I definitely felt like this year was a more active year for me so I feel like I technically count. | Zakusz
12.01.23 | If this site disappears I can always just listen to motorpsycho the rest of my life and be happy i guess | Egarran
12.01.23 | Now this list warms the old frostbitten heart. | Verdr
12.01.23 | I'm fairly new! | iHaveSex
12.01.23 | I will remain until pizzamachine learns respect! | pizzamachine
12.01.23 | I respect you
Now whatcha gonna do 👀 | nickisnotarapper
12.01.23 | Hello I am pretty new here but have been a long time lurker
Sputnik has been a huge shaper of my music taste throughout the years, if it goes anywhere I will be very sad | Avagantamos
12.01.23 | somecallmetim used to be CK on their old account | bellovddd
12.01.23 | I fucking love talking about music and sput enables this. thank you for allowing me into the sput universe :)
pizzamachine will never end. | neekafat
12.01.23 | “ CONTENT PROVIDED: At the rate of approx one solid-quality review per month, AnimalForce1 is steadily putting half the Contributor roster to shame. Good shit.”
Quiet you | Squiggly
12.01.23 | Add me, someone, BitterJalepeno, & Smok to that list | Zac124
12.01.23 | I have been on this website for the past 3 and a half years, at first as a lurker but eventually started to comment and review consistently in 2022, and after all that time it would be really sad for this website to just go. I spend too much time here as its where I go to talk about music and discover new bands. | sonictheplumber
12.01.23 | 7 of these are just skele | JohnnyoftheWell
12.01.23 | "me, someone, BitterJalepeno, & Smok to that list"
wrong generation sorry, none of y'all are new anymore. Manatea is probs borderline, but I would group with your gen hm
DaveyMonsoon, Verdr and ig nickifnotarapper all qualify though! | AnimalForce1
12.02.23 | WOAH WOAH WOAH I JUST SAW THIS
Thank you Johnny, holy shit!! I'll continue helping to rep taste criminals all over the site LMAO | AnimalForce1
12.02.23 | Coming this December: probably another taste crime rev. Not sure what album though. Maybe I'll finally get around to Skyhill lol | myri14
12.02.23 | You're too kind Johnny! Love reading your lists! This site is super awesome and kind of addictive sometimes. Will try to write more but it's so hard lol. | Butkuiss
12.02.23 | Do me now | neekafat
12.02.23 | How about old users that are somehow still here despite several permabans reviewed | JohnnyoftheWell
12.02.23 | Love to you both, v glad you've stuck around
butkuiss you occupy my HEART why must you invade my lists too and uh
uh
see no evil speak no evil shit my pants @neekafat | Ectier
12.02.23 | I guess i would be a new user, idk if i qualify to be reviewed yet though maybe im too new | Irikeheavymetal
12.02.23 | I like the username iHaveSex | Manatea
12.02.23 | Johnny i just want to know what my taste crimes are < 3 | Mort.
12.02.23 | constantchange is a great user | JohnnyoftheWell
12.02.23 | Ectier, Squiggly, someone, BitterJalepeno, Smok, Ledd and that other one should get their own list as old new users
+ Manatea's biggest tastecrime is copping out of a comprehensive set of ratings | pizzamachine
12.02.23 | ZING | ShapeOfJizzToCum
12.03.23 | "how could I forget ShapeOfJizzToCum lmao."
That was my reaction too. "How could you."
Thanks for the shoutout Ars you're a real one. Ay how do I get a link to that there discord server? | AeniasGaming
12.03.23 | [deleted] | ArsMoriendi
12.03.23 | It's fixed I believe, or at least today has new members | ShapeOfJizzToCum
12.03.23 | Yeah I was able to make this no problem sometime in the last year or so. Neither scruples nor this website could stop me. | Manatea
12.03.23 | “Manatea’s biggest tastecrime is copping out of a comprehensive set of ratings”
Ugh it’s too true I’m sorry johnny | AnimalForce1
12.03.23 | What constitutes a comprehensive set of ratings? Asking for a friend. | JDubb
12.03.23 | Wow - a bit scary that new users are being tracked like this… | Mort.
12.03.23 | whats your mothers maiden name? | Egarran
12.03.23 | This site is not for the weak. | cycosynner
12.04.23 | I am honored I made the list. Stay tuned for my next review, when my ADHD hyperfocus and relative lack of law school work combine to inspire me to write. Until then, I'll keep reminding you all why nu-metal wasn't that bad in the comments as often as possible. | constantchange
12.23.23 | thank you for this 🙏🙏 i appreciate it!!
& thanks ol' morty 🙏🙏 happy holidays y'all
I do have a couple ideas for another list so maybe soon i'll try to write something up! | budgie
12.23.23 | "Only user on this list I've ever seen get bent badly out of shape, and by Hawks at that."
you should check my horror movie list get some popcorn | FowlKrietzsche
01.05.24 | Nothing staves off my burgeoning schizophrenia like knowing that I am being monitored by some well dweller, even if they express fair criticism of my rating for Heritage. | ShapeOfJizzToCum
01.06.24 | lmao^ | DadKungFu
01.06.24 | Lol that's hilarious | pizzamachine
01.06.24 | No comment | JohnnyoftheWell
01.06.24 | just wait for where you land in the Old users :: REVIEWED list | pizzamachine
01.06.24 | Omfg | kalkwiese
01.06.24 | Oh no, I didn't hear of the final generation yet. You guys are great, I want to tell you how much I appreciate you being here! Damn | pizzamachine
01.06.24 | I appreciate all u old fuckers | kalkwiese
01.06.24 | I appreciate u 2 ... u ice cream slut | pizzamachine
01.06.24 | I do love my cold flavours 😋. All love will be reciprocated | AnimalForce1
03.07.24 | "AnimalForce1 is steadily putting half the Contributor roster to shame"
This line hits different now that I'm actually part of the Contributor roster. This means it's time for me to stop posting reviews and let some other upstart show me up | Pikazilla
03.07.24 | season 2 cancelled like with most great netflix shows |
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