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Staff
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Last Active 01-01-70 12:00 am
Joined 01-01-70
Review Comments 60,311
| Users' 5 choices REVIEWED
by request. comment, be added etc | | 1 |  | After Dinner
Paradise of Replica
cimnele
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=932704
whispery wraithy avantcuddles. shivers. thunder!! i do love. it all makes sense but there will never be a straight answer
VERDICT: 5/5. Very distinct energy + cohesive selection = wouldn't mistake these for any other user (for GUD reason) | | 2 |  | The Wrens
The Meadowlands
Pheromone
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1035674
Tempting as it is to autodisregard this for featuring Brand New, Phero has pulled off the potentially unique feat of channelling that energy into his own distinctive brand. "Distinctive?", you say? Uh, you know that feeling everyone who has ever lived has when they finish school and work their first shitty job and wonder if they've already had it as good as it gets? Distinctive. Phero makes it is own because he elects to represent it with 7 albums as opposed to the conventional 1.
VERDICT: 4/5. Seven picks, all decisive choices. Strong action from our weakest indie prick | | 3 |  | Radiohead
Kid A
Pangea
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1052758
Scientists have debated the role of experimental music in society for many moons, and I'm just shocked that it took them this long to arrive at the conclusion that it only has any value if you can cut it with a butter knife and leave it on your bedside table just in case climate anxiety or the state of your larder keeps you awake a few minutes past your bedtime and you need something Authentic to knock you out. Works best with sugar.
VERDICT: 2.5/5. Guess his favourite band (it's Radio head)
DROP: M83, Yndi Halda, Perfume Genius
BUMP: A.A.L. or Alpe Lusia, Ghosteen, Tomorrow, In a Year, Victorialand | | 4 |  | Fugazi
Repeater
GhandhiLion
https://www.scaruffi.com/music/best100.html
The observations and synaptic contortions that led to these opinions are too idiosyncratic to reward sustained analysis, one day I too will listen to music with my ears.
RATING: 0/5. Ghandhicore peaks in the 3-3.5 range. Read a book. | | 5 |  | Myss Keta
Una vita in capslock
Lordepots
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1042215
From the maker of Sputnik: Hunger Games, Colton-Scented Handcream Pt. 7 and How To Pull A Gracious Hiatus, we have: an oversized grab bag of inflated ratings, dead memes, familiar classics ...and a dizzying number obscure gems that no-one will ever find because this thing is impenetrable as the guy's shoutbox. There are goods to be found, but getting there is like playing Minesweeper insofar as it's a chore disguised as a game and absolutely no-one bothers anymore
VERDICT: n/a. This is an unintelligible flex and not a list | | 6 |  | Agalloch
The Mantle
dedex
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=711403
Yeah, much as I've enjoyed debating what constitutes formulaic sputcore on numerous occasions, it turns out we were better off not knowing
VERDICT: 1.5/5 this site peaked in 2012 etcetc | | 7 |  | A Wilhelm Scream
Career Suicide
Pikazilla
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1151055
yeah if you think these are good, just wait until you've seen his 1s BITCH
VERDICT: 4/5. Loses points for being a bit of a sprawl but hey, can't deny Pika has better taste than you | | 8 |  | Meshuggah
Destroy Erase Improve
Relinquished
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=290499
Damn - for 10k ratings, Mr. Wolfe has a mercifully refined range of 5s, and from a conveniently narrow range of artists at that. The man's favourites are clearly up there for a reason, and he's not shy about letting you know that. Frank and fierce all round: good stuff.
VERDICT: 4/5. Sure, it's a bit hard-object-meets-unbreakable-surface ft. occasional bleep bloop, but these are decisive choices if ever I've seen them | | 9 |  | Bladee
Into Dust
Ryus
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1037980
So Ryus usually has one of the more reliable tastes on Sput, but at the top level this looks... hmm. Mm. Something doesn't sit quite right. Overall it's a cool, succinct mix of concensus and cult classics, and it's definitely the right kind of eclectic insofar as Orchid are next to Kate Bush is next to Bladee is next to Black Tambourine etcetc, BUT I cannot quite feel the overall shape of Ryus. Good taste not enough polygons - and add to that that The Moon and Antarctica is outgunned by the other norm stuff here and mismatched against the eliteszz. Drop that and then we'll talk.
VERDICT: 3/5. Best boi but not his best list. Almost all of these could head up excellent independent lists though, so | | 10 |  | Manchester Orchestra
The Million Masks of God
Sowing
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=276983
Infamous for obvious reasons. Yes there are a few inspiring standouts, yes they are ruthlessly outgunned by insipid faff, and damn, this list is WAY too long for someone with just over 2500 ratings, however...
VERDICT: 3/5. If this assessment were based purely on quality, this would obviously be an entirely different story, but this list does make me appreciate how remarkable it is to have your name synonymous with a brand when said brand is visibly defined by limpness and genericism. Takes quite the list to make that your own | | 11 |  | Underworld
dubnobasswithmyheadman
Trifolium
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1122787
Hahahaha right. There are multiple ways to read this one, and your impression of the REAL Trifolium will vary drastically accordingly. Where do you start? Do you see the mass of Meshuggah and Opeth 5s and assume he's a crusty bonehead? Do you see LCD Soundsystem/Stereolab/Talking Heads/Cocteau Twins and pencil him down as a zany hipster with a redemption arc? Do you see that mix of Linkin Park and Coldplay and laugh? Orrr do you pick up on Portishead's entire discog and follow up with that delicious and alphabetically spangled blend of Monolake/The Field/Underworld/Gas/Pole, throw in his densely concentrated jazz picks and grin because this guy knows what's up? Trif has many angles, and they somehow intersect in a beautiful way that none of us will ever be good enough to entirely understand. I dunno. I just really like looking at it.
VERDICT: 4.5/5. Too perplexingly layered to be a firm 5, but v close | | 12 |  | Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar
Ars
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1034848
My expectations here were Highly Mixed, but all credit to Ars, this does immediately jump out as THE holistic Ars list. Its eclectic and consistent elements balance each other out, and its respective prog, psych, noise rawk, funk and pop ballparks are all in balance and adequate overlap with one another (though I do think a little more electronic is needed for ultimate harmony - at the moment the list dips its toes and shies away). Main flaws include almost the whole thing being stuck in the 20th century and the predictablity of its prog picks, but this is a solid example of how to combine familiar names into a single distinguishable odour
VERDICT: 4/5 kooky kudos etc | | 13 |  | Coldplay
A Rush of Blood to the Head
Icebloom
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1116649
Hmmm so the issue here is less an abundance of *bad* choices (though American Football 1 kicking off the list back to back with Brand New got an instant eyeroll), and more that I feel I've seen this combination of albums posted together hundreds of times without remembering any single instance. There are a couple of minor exceptions, but I hardly learnt anything about Icebloom as an entity by skimming this. Ehh
VERDICT: 2/5. Icebloom's story has not yet hit its main arc, so for now we are stuck in the alt rock atrium waiting to go - - -? | | 14 |  | Kali Masi
Laughs
Slothcoresam
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1137253
So there are two sides to this story - the badass sentimentalist punk side, which dominates the list and maps out the Sloth we all know and love in steadfast form, and the dark side. The DORK side. Strip out the punx and that's what you're left with - sure you know Sloth the radiant heartsnfeels warrior, but do you know him as the R. Kelly slyboy? The smelly Deftones fan? The TOOL STAN? Some secrets should stay buried.
VERDICT: 3.5/5. Some dirty balls here, but you almost got away with them | | 15 |  | Erra
Augment
Steakbyrnes
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1071596
Okay yikes um Steaky breaky may have just won March madness, but you can bet he didn't win it with *this* list ho ho. Mallcore progcore normcore MUSE, we've got it all here. And video game soundtracks because of course that is how balance works. I think the two good things we can say for this list are: it does not pretend to be any other list, and: it is just a small part of the bigger picture of Steak the unyielding unphasing unaging high schooler of all our hearts
VERDICT: 2/5. Cannot imagine what this list will look like once it can drink legally. Terrifying thought. | | 16 |  | Devin Townsend
Ziltoid Live at the Royal Albert Hall
bgillesp
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1068507
My hopes were actually quite high for this list, which is good because I got to enjoy being very, very wrong as the endless heckin PLOT TWISTS of this boi wrought their justice. Welcome to a world where a lone David Bowie record sits powerlessly besides a fatarsed armada of Devin Townsends, where logic dictates that two Periphery records are better than one Periphery record, where Bjork's Debut deserves equal status with her following three, where The Suburbs is the best Arcade Fire album and perfect, where TPAB and Hamilton are equally accredited, where where where. Um. I'm being mean because there are a lot of respectable picks here, but this thing's feng shui is positively evil.
VERDICT: 1/5. Exactly the kind of diabolical scene I signed up for, well played | | 17 |  | The Pax Cecilia
Blessed Are The Bonds
hesperus
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=437715
Fuck me sideways, what year is this? This looks like every 2012 sputlist ever preserved through the ages, but hesp makes it their thing because they were the one to preserve it. They get extra credit from me, because this kind of skramzy post-rock/metal was exactly what got me into Sput to begin with, and I appreciate someone making such a coherent greatest hits for it and implying that it's aged well. Every time I'm tempted to disagree, I'll look at this list and be transported. Aah
VERDICT: 4/5 why have history when you can have HESP | | 18 |  | Taylor Swift
Folklore
tyman
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1117412
In my head, tyman is a hard slamming sweet natured part-time prog very much coreboi, and so it is enjoyable and baffling to see his 5s distilled from the blank stares of ponderous sadgirls and the incessant fucking tears of insufferable boydisasters. This list saps so hard I couldn't even see the Rowan/neek/colton evolutionary tree touching it - like, being entirely serious, I think the album with the most chutzpah here might actually be The Black Parade (discounting that endurance test of a final ETID record because jfc of course). And fuck me up, how many of these came out in the last 2 yrs? A lot of the absolute worst ones, that's for sure. I could go on - but! this list does have a clear shape and that shape does have an endearing bearing on tyman's character arc, and so
VERDICT: 2.5/5. This list is not a good list, but I am kinda jealous of anyone who can be their own little sister this way | | 19 |  | Manu Chao
Clandestino
rabidfish
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1032618
I think this one might be beyond me. I rate rabidfish: agree and disagree with roughly equal proportions of their takes, never have any idea which way these are gonna skew from album to album, and am content with being able to follow some of their vibes without ultimately understanding their wavelength much at all. Anyway, I do not get this list at all - partially because I only recognise about 2/3rds of it, kind-of because I could only see myself 5ing a small proportion of that quantity (though I do respect all choices), but mainly because the logic or taste or sensibility behind these straight up evades me. I want to call it a mature selection, but then you have your PUPs and your Melt-Bananas next to your John Coltranes and Coils - which I v much love to see, but uh? Gonna bookmark this and listen to a few hopefully and then understand it maybe not
VERDICT: tentative 3.5. rabidfish = the wonder of the universe | | 20 |  | The Microphones
The Glow Pt. 2
deathschool
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=922961
Absolutely no fucking about on this one: deathschool is on a mission to 1) do online music 2) do it right 3) grab the best bits and 4) get the hell out of there. Do we get many hints as to what tempted them here to begin with? Shit no! Clean getaway.
VERDICT: 4/5. I will star this list in a VR thriller | | 21 |  | Cult of Luna
A Dawn to Fear
Demon
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1097747
Uhh this is a SERIOUS list. Way too serious to be a plausible list of 5s. It has too much low bpm atmoneckbeard sludge, too much noirtronica, too much cookie monster and too many crescendoes to be anything else. Like, I'll take any of those seriously on their own terms, but not on a list that upholds Opeth and Cult of Luna as the peak of music - sorry, oversold. Redeemed somewhat because most of these albums are very good. Remove the bird's nest from the chin and this list has big potential.
VERDICT: 2.5/5. something something gonna steal Yowi's sternstare-core line
DROP: Still Life, A Dawn to Fear, The Eye of Every Storm
BUMP: Low, At Action Park, one of Blue Lines and Daydream Nation | | 22 |  | Butthole Surfers
Locust Abortion Technician
SharkTooth
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1030884
This just reads like the imprint of someone who really loves music and doesn't think too hard about it, and WE CANNOT HAVE THAT NOW, CAN WE? Minus 1.5 points for still having xSPONGEXCOREx up there, but then again this list is above the scope of curation
VERDICT: 3.5/5. Rock on | | 23 |  | Mudvayne
L.D. 50
DavidYowi
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1195191
This is a long list and its words are: pain, fantasy, deodorant, introspection, introversion, volume, pain, volume, pain, life. The gods have abandoned us and we are left with Maynard Jan Keevan, Geddy Lee and a load of despair thrash riffs. I have questions: does Yowi's highly substantiated belief in this grotty pantheon offer vicarious hope for humankind? Were the 90s reaaaaally that strong a decade for mainstream heavyshit? Is there any hope for this wretched permapubescent universe? Having read this selection of music albums multiple times, I am none the wiser, but I do think I know Yowi as an online presence a distinct increment better now. It works!
VERDICT: 3.5/5. Not an experience I aim to repeat soon, but it has a centre of unhappy gravity so that is something | | 24 |  | Nirvana
Nevermind
ReturnToRock
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=135125
Should carry a trigger warning to deter anyone questioning their faith in guitar music from blinding themselves and hitting an irreversible timeout. There is no return to rock after this list.
VERDICT: 2.5/5. I appreciate a well-crafted fucking DEATH TRAP | | 25 |  | Kanye West
Donda
Drifter
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1078406
Uh yeah this is about as broken as I'd have expected from a hardcore Donda apologist. Is it full of bad albums or albums that I think would be bad if I ever bothered to listen to them, which I likely will not? Absolutely not. Does it scream IDENTITY CRISIS with its whackass triangulation of probably-canonical hip-hop picks, sketch af rock choices and surprising but solid overlap with Doofcore sophistipop/singer-songwriter bragghcore? Absolutely. This list gains points because no-one else would ever have made it but loses them all because it desperately needs help.
2/5. Drifter is growing into ~something, but we don't know what yet. | | 26 |  | Xanopticon
Psicicite
Avagantamos
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=447207
Fuck me right, I accidentally opened Drifter's page again and got the shock of my life. No fucking thank you. Far less surprisingly, this is a really solid list of stuff I either like or now want to listen to with a lot of inner cohesion. Avagantamos has a distinctive but v much inviting taste in electronic, juggles atmospheric and chaotic content like a master, and backs it up with refined but non-obsessive roots in metal+skramz and a solid attention span. I want to make a joke about subtracting one point per Autechre 5, but I think this just about transcends that.
VERDICT: 4.5/5. Exemplary stuff. | | 27 |  | Wipers
Youth of America
z00sh
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1287953
Hello picky Elmodisplayname user whose page I've accidentally stalked on numerous occasions because boi do you rate a load of random shit. Love to see it. These 5s are almost suspiciously close to Ryus', and the bulk of my take on his page is equally applicable here. HOWEVER, your list is somewhat longer and I think the extra skin on them bones give this a character and presence that Ryus' list only hinted at. Good job filling in them blanks (and picking the superior Modest Mouse album ofc)! I can't give you full marks for this because it's half convinced me you're a Ryus alt, but otherwise GUD online musicing
VERDICT: 4.5/5. Excellent choices beautiful shape hug plz
DROP: MBV - Only Shallow EP or Sweet Trip - YWNKW. And Bladee lol.
BUMP: Black Tambourine if you want to threaten Ryus any further, Julia Holter - Aviary if you want that kind of edge, Red Transistor and Shizuka if you want the better kind of edge | | 28 |  | Thank You Scientist
Terraformer
Zac124
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1201143
Who are you, Zac124? What are these 5s? They tell me that you are someone who likes their heavynerd shit, their heart on sleeve catharsisshit and their selectively uplifting atmospheric mopeshit. And, like, so do I! So does everyone on this website! You are one of us! But where is the real you? I dunno, pal - this familiar combination of familiar albums doesn't tell me first thing about what you've got over Zacs 123 and 125. Power on, and we'll get there. We're at the point where you have a Thank You Scientist album 5'd and I'd say it's a good idea to keep it purely because it implies the highest degree of personal choice of any of your picks. Yikes.
VERDICT: 2/5. Decent list, weak identity.
DROP: Diamond Eyes, One Of Us Is The Killer and the Mantle
BUMP: Uhh if we're developing a brand here, Cursetheknife, Psychedelic Porn Crumpets, maybe PUP and definitely the Levellers (who tf are they? I want to know now!) | | 29 |  | Kero Kero Bonito
Bonito Generation
grumbledwerm
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1127536
Jesus fucking Christ, what a short, sweet and absolutely fucking CURSED selection of albums. I think a little poeve of my soul died seeing these four side-by-side. What a list. I absolutely love it. And you used your only comment in four years as a user to request this? Fuck me to pieces, I am not worthy. Please rearrange my entire ratings page for me.
VERDICT: 5/5. This kind of disparate concentrated heartattack is exactly what the 5s tab was made for. mx is happy. Don't change a thing. | | 30 |  | Ad Nauseam
Imperative Imperceptible Impulse
brainmelter
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1025659
I'm ignorant of too many of these to give it the take it deserves, but from the chunk I'm familiar with all is as all should be: bmelt has one of the best eclectic tastes on Sput and this list confirms it in fine form, with a highly specific mix of artist/album choices that I doubt anyone else could string together with the same energy. Great blend of high/lowbrow, loud/quiet, classic/cult classic/deep cuts, very strong very arthouse very excellent.
VERDICT: 4.5/5 because I'm a bit shit
DROP: Suis la Lune
BUMP: Maybe Keiji Haino. Your 5s have pretty much everything covered - I think The Weakerthsns would be the most surprising addition from your 4.5s, so maybe them. | | 31 |  | Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Tender Prey
porcupinetheater
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=450335
porc you are such a porc. A porc is on the point, every point, and is not a fussy eater. This, you porc, shows you know your dispositions but are moreover disposed towards indulging the living porky hell out of each and everyone of them. Scratchystory bluestales yes, misanthropic fuckrock both with and without lube check, fuzzywuzzy porcupop, mopey atmoprog from other dimensions check, prettyfloat and incision penspersonship check check. This list is too long, and this is because it is the product of a porc whose death and life instincts are both rampantly overactive and adequately fuelled as such. It cannot be domestic!
VERDICT: 3.5/5. Most individual picks say not that much, but the fact that you chose all of them says a lot.
DROP: Have You In My Wilderness. Choose real porcshit not frosty fakeshit
BUMP: You know that Stray belongs with those 5s. Failing that, Emotion for life or Krystallnacht for death | | 32 |  | Ampere
All Our Tomorrows End Today
deathofasalesman
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=446819
Damn, this is the hard rocking big vibing mark of someone who likes to feel things to the full and somehow feel good about them nine times out of ten. Congratulations. There's enough positive energy on this list that it makes most of the Sputcore choices its own, but I feel that this is the kind of unpretentious generously sized rock list that anyone on or off this site could find something to like about. I don't know what many of these choices say about you specifically and I don't have much personal investment in most of them, but the way you tied them all together sparks joy all the same well done. They don't make em this way anymore.
VERDICT: 3.5/5. More of an extended Vibe than a list of albums you could tell someone to listen to, but said vibe takes a lot of what's positive and particular about this site and grounds it in fine form
DROP: Bleach
BUMP: Analphabetapolothology | | 33 |  | Phoebe Bridgers
Punisher
neekafat
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1077377
Pretty much a 50/50 split between oldtime [read: childhood] semi-classics and How Do I Become An Adult milk-scented alternative bullshit. There are several safe picks, and they are so, so safe that they immediately make me deconstruct the very idea of safety and imagine some godawful fucking disaster destroying everything on this page sorry back on track there is a lot of Phoebe Bridgers because of course there fucking is. Yeah. This is not a good list, but I will give neek credit for holding onto it for so long. This highly conceivable combination of albums would signify nothing at all (other than a couple of awful decisions) for most users, but they have come to represent neekafat as an entity. How do you forge a brand out of combinations of albums that have no identity? Idk, kudos u are cute
VERDICT: 1/5 as a list, 3/5 as a neekafat list.
DROP: Lateralus
BUMP: As Days Get Dark, When The Pawn... and Holy Vacants. And then all the albums I have 5'd. Good 4.5s tbh | | 34 |  | 7 Angels 7 Plagues
Jhazmyne's Lullaby
Senetrix666
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1234318
Nice comprehensive charting of this site's favourite hard-hitting sludge/post/death/core/etc. heavyshit bands. Pretty good list tbh - Cocteau Twins and Portishead stand out like sore thumbs here, but this hardly an issue. However, if you redacted the name and forced me the guess whose 5s these were, I would literally read out the entirety of the site's metal users who aren't esoteric weirdos or thrash boomers in alphabetical order. I would need more insight. Where is Cooking At Home With Senetrix666? Further content please
VERDICT: 3/5. It's easy enough to draw up a list like this but hard to make it your own.
DROP: Tough call. Maybe Young Team or Sunbather
BUMP: One of Apokalypsis and Pain Is Beauty, one KEN Mode or Gaza album, and Lula fuckin Divinia | | 35 |  | Fleetwood Mac
Rumours
Koris
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1061284
I wasn't sure what to expect here, but it was an extra big surprise to find a repeat/expansion of neek's list if it were 5 years older and twice as nerdy. Is that reflective of the actual age gap between these two? I don't think it's far off. More importantly, is this the future neek should reach for, or one to avoid? Mmmhm. There's a *strong* whiff of [post]grunge and alt-metal cringe here and too much prog for a healthy imagination to deal with. There are genuine thrash metal albums ha ha. These are all quite big weighty deliberate picks, which is nice and fine in moderation, but where is the no-frills fun? Where's the pop? Is the implication here that Shouso Strip is the only 5able fun album that isn't also angsty as hell (ed. oh fuck and also Emotion)? I can abide by that, but this list is all KERLASSICS and no mojo. Watch out neek!
VERDICT: 2.5/5. Many good picks some eh picks, rated lower than neek's as a deeply v serious deterrent
DROP: Morning View, Misplaced Childhood and that Katatonia album
BUMP: Daft Punk, Deerhoof, Melt-Banana, maybe Gorillaz/Naked City/The Armed, and - what the fuck - Kacey fucking Musgraves. That should take the strain off this heavily taut beerbelly T-shirt. | | 36 |  | Miles Davis
Bitches Brew
Wines
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=527643
Brightest and best of Sputnik's celestial bodies [chomp], Winesborgio is here and his list is defined in large inescapable part by its gravitational relation to user:havey's list. This is the best version of that list, not necessarily because the music is any better or worse than its counterpart, but because it has the hipster specs and will likely talk back to you when you make forced conversation at a cramped club bar because neither of you are getting served for some stupid reason.
Topics of conversation include: it isn't my fault that all indie music has done to shit but I will deny that it has adamantly enough that it might as well be, it isn't your fault that you missed the boat on music not made by guitars or compassionate humans (but it might be your fault if you didn't waste those formative years on something better), and let's get naked and take a moonshower in waves of blaring distortion that will restore us with its timeless babymelodies. Ah. This list makes me want to have fun without changing my facial expression, and this makes me jealous of Wines because he is better at this than me.
VERDICT: 3.5. It is the best rating.
DROP: Pet Sounds. Who the fuck is Havey
BUMP: Get Goat up there! Maybe Amnesia and Cosmogramma to complement ur specs | | 37 |  | The Beach Boys
Pet Sounds
Havy
https://www.amazon.co.jp/Serene-Ambience-for-Separation-Anxiety/dp/B093LQQR5R
Celestial Body the Second. While Wines is a dapper gentleman of misfortune, Harvey is your gammon uncle who envelopes the entire surface area of any given armchair and outlines in lancing parlance how much fun it used to be for young people to simultaneously dance with their best limbs successfully copulate with or without the aid of ol' Lucy. You will never surpass him and you can never become him. Good luck with all that. In terms of 5s, the main deals here is the number of albums (low) and the number of extant humans not named Haavy who have heard a slim majority thereof (lower still). This list is the north star, our guide to the zenith of unclely elitism and probably the only reason this stupid website still holds any value. It's the core tenet of its own sect, but unfortunately I am a flake too disorganised to hold meaningful beliefs of any kind, and therefore declare it tentatively useless because I am terrified of aging and think Wines' list was sexier. Will update upon my next epiphany.
VERDICT: 3.0. It is the worst rating.
DROP: Pet Sounds
BUMP: Spiritual Unity (the only reason you haven't done this already is that Ghandhi has it on his topshelf), Fremde Zeit Addendum 4, Twin Infinitives (get that one back over Wines plz, you wear it better), '77 Live, Raditude | | 38 |  | Cynic
Traced in Air
CottonSalad
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1284546
My goodness, plot twist, a new celestiabody hath formed! CottonSalad bears such proximity to Hadey that it's difficult to ascertain whether he commands his own orbit! However, some things are certain. First, this is a strange list. Second, it does not pretend to have good taste, or any taste at all, but it navigates arbitrary oddball existence so successfully that I can just about visualise Paul Masvidal strumming a headless lute and crooning at Joni while that competent bloke from Ulcerdate slams hip-hop bumshakers into his kit which is in a tree, along with him. That is nice. Is it real? Is any of this shit? You tel
VERDICT: 4/5. An important check on the pulse of reality. Surpasses the other two celestibois insofar as it lives and floats by its own logic. Fails to surpass them insofar as I still don't accept it as real.
DROP: Stare Into Death and Be Still
BUMP: Manafon | | 39 |  | Tenniscoats
Papa's Ear
BaselineOOO
https://www.last.fm/user/I0000days
Fourth and final of sputnik's celestite users, BaselineOOO is a tender darkmoon and a massive glass canon. There can be no beginnings without ends and no deaths without lifes. I too enjoy sweet things - who is the sweetest? I await your answer.
VERDICT: 1.5/5. France 2050s.
DROP: Berserk
BUMP: TOMBI | | 40 |  | Seiko Oomori
Sennou
[courtesy of Kompys2000]
JohnnyoftheWell
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=538903
We all know and love johnny's traversals of post-alternative japanese hipster memes, and yes this list IS more than one-quarter weeb, but do not for a SECOND forget this charming devil's comprehensive fluency in western record store chatter! From longtime critical darlings like Björk and Sonic Youth to unsung gems like Oceansize, this list reflects a seasoned and discerning veteran of the indiesphere. Option Paralysis is merely serviceable as the requisite metal pick but all told JOTW makes this list his own reasonably well. Artisan vanilla ice cream with candy chunkz.
VERDICT: uhh 4/5 I guess, could maybe use a curveball or two but these are mostly very good albums.
DROP: Artist in the Ambulance- being into Thrice in 2022 is like being into the Eagles in 2003 sorry
BUMP: Ziggy Stardust since johnnycore's biggest blind spot is music that predates MTV. | | 41 |  | Lambchop
Is a Woman
Boney
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1061036
For a user so dedicated to the same niches (country/slowcore/all varients of either) for so long, I expected contour and class from Boney. What I got was an early learning centre indie starter pack mixed in with disparate country records I know nothing about and will assume are highly elite garden gnome classics. Am a little disappointed; Boney recs are not to be taken lightly, but you'd never know it from this semi randomly generated collection of household names currently and the centre of the same arguments from the same people for the 7000th fuckin time. Don't sell yourself short.
VERDICT: 2/5. Almost pushed me into declaring country a primary saving grace. Too far.
DROP: Constructive: any two Nationals, BCNR, WYWH
Deserved punishment: every Radiohead album other than the Bends
BUMP: Ugly But Honest, Chrome, Kaputt, Wrens, You Forgot It, Perfect From Now On, Mics. If you're gonna basic indie, do it right | | 42 |  | Peste Noire
Ballade cuntre lo Anemi francor
Pon
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=687851
There is Pon. Pon is good. Are Pon's 5s good?
I won't dignify that with an answer, Bridget.
But, like, if these 5s were people and some loon invited them to a dinner party and they were sat around that table, shuffling on their earnest undernourished arses and awkwardly making eye contact in a self-conscious "no-one can see my full talent in this environment but for how long - can I hide my power level" way, you would need a Titanic's worth of icebreakers to get that groove on. This list is not that, but it does foster a cracking enigmatic silence. Why?
VERDICT: get me the fuck out of here, I am not going to be the first one to speak in this horrible social experiment
DROP: Any of them. Probably especially Peste Noire. Just drop one, I can't handle the tension.
BUMP: Gris, purely so that I turn that awkward laughter into belly laughter | | 43 |  | Built to Spill
Perfect From Now On
Sunnyvale
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1065651
I don't know what the deal is with doing one underwhelming list and then having, like, the next one offering a redemption arc, but Boney should probably take notes here. Swap country for classic rock and, um, Rush (we love our zero-sum games on this volunteer site), and this is otherwise exactly the same but a step up. Probably something in the region of Gastly to Haunter. We're in borderland viable territory, but Sunny spoilers it slightly by having too many niceguy vibes. These picks have a character, but the metals are all crowd pleasing boxticks and everything else just screams of someone who loves life and grills for his whole nakama. 5s are for dominating music as a concept, and you choose to be approachable? Guess we know how the promotion process works now AWWW DAMN
VERDICT: 3.5/5. I cannot find deep faults here, this list is cogent within itself and full of albums that too many everyones including me can enjoy with a big rictus
DROP: A Farewell to Kings, Alligator, Punisher, American Football, There Will Be Fireworks
BUMP: Ummm these 4.5s are just more of the same. I guess Downward is Heavenward, any Darkthrone/Immortal album, RHP Rollercoaster album and maybe Twilight | | 44 |  | Mo*Te
Life in a Peaceful New World
Cyg
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=790810
I always knew this day would come. True to his chaotic good qualities, Cyg's list is a mix of records he thinks are the peak of music, number-resistant records that make him uncritically warm and fuzzy, a couple of pop/Kanye meme choices and that redneck gay porn simulator album because of course. As such, it's somewhat comparable to Lordepots' list, except this one actually works because Cyg has the presence of mind and lack of feigned indifference to configure it as a concentrated baffling burst. Cyg's taste is deep and mercurial enough to produce many configurations of said burst, but this one does a fair job of asserting his own unmistakable imprint.
VERDICT:3.5/5 because I refuse to support practical jokes any further, but this gets big points for stealth.
DROP: Maybe the two Sweet Trips from last year, just to spotlight those soundoffs more.
BUMP: Anything I've never heard of from your 4.5s | | 45 |  | Isis
Oceanic
MiloRuggles
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1154035
The bedrock of boi Milo's list is similar dense/dynamic/cryptic/paranoid(?) heavyfare to what we've seen in several lists so far, but I think this one edges them out: the post-metal picks are from bona fide beer-in-hand chinstrokers (Isis, Kayo Dayo) rather than boneheaded crushingimmersion acts, and while these are do come with tech disso leavemealone-core picks so that Milo can jive with the crusty elites incapable of forming sentences about anything other than metal, there's also a certain amount of joie de vivre here.
Milo's post-rock is the kind of thing you dream worlds to (ft. GYBE), his hip-hop is the kind of thing that pushes boundaries on the side, but mainly brings people together, and his oldtimer picks by bands other than Pink Floyd are alphabetically spaced to great effect! Huzzah. I'm not as convinced by the angsty sliver of the list (NIN/Manc Orch/Tool/Deftones), but overall this stands out from the mass of similar enjugglements of, like, 66% of the albums here because it gives me the sense that its creator actually enjoys music for reasons not restricted to intense solitary brooding or the gym. Yikes!
VERDICT: 4/5. Milo successfully took a load of anyone's 5s and made them his own. Party party.
DROP: Unnecessary shavings: Slow Riot For New Zero Kanada, In the Absence of Truth, Wish You Were Here
Self-improvement: The Downward Spiral, White Pony
BUMP: Unquestionable Presence (perf 50/50 fun/tech), Absolutego, Oblivion Access, From Here We Go Sublime | | 46 |  | Pelt
Ayahuasca
Kompys2000
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1068436
Whew, I almost made the fatal error of writing up this one based purely on the (majority) albums within my awareness. A close call - I now want to know much more about Kompys' respective tastes in punk and drone. Overall, this is a probably unique combo of albums from someone with strong, refined tastes who loves a little ill-fated self-aware nostalgia, occasional roughery, and cheap burgers (or whatever metaphor you consider appropriate from that "uhhh" opening pairing of the Suburbs and Yellow & Green). It balances this with a firm investment in abstract spaces and suggests someone who started out as your standard daydreaming indie bellend but found their place in the universe questioning whether humanity as an institution is a) real or b) properly suited to maintaining a place in the universe. We are here.
Bonus Points: Usually, I immediately roll my eyes when someone 5s three Floyd/Rush/Opeth/National albums or whatever, but Kompys' Flaming Lips trio says a lot both as a cluster on this list and on each album's own terms.
VERDICT: 4.5/5. Smashing stuff, equal parts as an accessible self-imprint and as a shiny-murky source of fresh intrigue
DROP: Ween. No-one is unique enough to make that level of fart-art cringe their own (especially Ween).
BUMP: Bowery Electric, Keep It Like a Secret, one of death's dynamic shroud.wmv and Default Genders, and as a doubtless historically informed snipe at album history as a concept, The Beatles - 1 | | 47 |  | Candlemass
Epicus Doomicus Metallicus
Dedes
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1063911
Oh fuck the majority of these come with soundoffs, which either makes it harder to ridicule my presumed reasons for their inclusion, or saves me a lot of work. Phew - turned out to be the latter.
"Furthermore it's all done so in a way that's not truly describable" - hun, The Mantle is as describable as albums come ("have you ever been DEPRESSED in WINTER and thought about NATURE? this album was made four you!"). alb seems either a little scrappier or a little more pretentious or both whenever someone does this.
"This is probably the most experimental release [August Burns Red] has put forth" 5/5 classic
No soundoff citing your reasons for 5'ing Avenged Sevenfold? COWARD
"More bands need to blend post-rock structures with emo" wow i had never before heard of this phenom
"This is the world's best album ever and don't you dare dispute it." Now we're fuckin talking
In other news, the story of this list is that Dedes is a happy eater and metal is a gigantic all-age buffet.
Anything heavy here that attempts to get emotional (Katatonia, Counterparts, NIN etc) is a flop - honestly respect the Riot! 5 more, but at least we've got Disintegration to anchor things where they need to be anchored. Overall, It's a slapdash mix of brvtals that accommodates all facial hair preferences, ft. occasional glimmers of sunshine. Nothing criminally bad but somewhat shapeless. The contrast between the lack of concern for how these albums would look side by side with the individual soundoff efforts is the most evocative part. Most of it is pretty light on the ol' attention span - sorry Dedes, I hope this unnecessarily long write-up was gratifying enough for you to make it this far.
VERDICT: 2.5/5. Not a fan of buffets tbqh
DROP: Daughters, Viva Emptiness, Precambrian
BUMP: I'm honestly not sure what this list needs *more* of in its current messy form, so let's just make it even messier. AJJ, Uneven Compromise, Inspiration is Dead, The Holy Bible, Wovenhand, The Glow pt.2 | | 48 |  | Arab Strap
As Days Get Dark
anat
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1067819
Heh, this one is a real connoisseur's pick: anat is unassumingly famous for his intimate familiarity with dour, windswept, rained on indie/folk/postpunk/savoury pop/whatever and keen ear for good fireplace songwriters and sophisticated-sordid humour. All this is expertly charted here, from Messers Moffat to Cave to Howard to yeah you get it - in terms of anatcore, it's on the money. However, this list really shines in the way it subverts that foundation - Jeff Rosenstock and Fuck Buttons in particular are hard double takes, but strangely at home in this indie gent's portrait gallery. Throw in the likes of Kate Bush and Haruomi Hosomo to satiate anat's apparent love of highly grounded eccentricsm and you've got a full house. Exemplary list.
VERDICT: 5/5. Soft 5, but this is a perfect affirmation-expansion of everything presently known about sputnik's own only anat
DROP: Maybe a Frightened Rabbit alb
BUMP: Jaar or Rubies | | 49 |  | Sweet Trip
You Will Never Know Why
Colton
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1187284
If you told me in advance that the 1266 music albums Colton has subjected to his cloddish ears had a total of six classics in them, I'd have laughed in the face your optimism. In reality, this list is too small to represent anything more that a feint at critical powers: half of it is Sweet Trip (you all know the story about the tryhard kid who catches wind of everyone else's worst-kept-secret favourite fair ride, hops on and sticks to it like glue until he's the only one left), 1/6th is everyone and their scatty uncle (37)'s favourite geriatric safe bet Pet Sounds, 1/6th is some hurtyyowly indie folk shite with real life arpeggios, 1/6th appropriates Young Thug's inimitable ego into a limp grasp at personal edge.
I know I've criticised 99% of lists so far for failing to live up to or even suggest a personal brand, but this is perhaps the only one so far that commits the unforgiveable error of actively trying too fuckin hard to even get to that point in the first place. Colton has actually removed albums from this list in the past for reasons of relative unworthiness that I'm not even going to try to get my head round. Are any of these albums actually bad? I dunno - but this transparent powerplay of a list sure as fuck makes me like them less.
VERDICT: 1.5/5. Weak attempt at pearl-clutching from sput's #1 whitebread bunk.
DROP: You're not qualified to make a judgement about which records are worse than these, and I'm too cruel to offer a second-hand one
BUMP: Ummm, if we're looking for a less conceited showcase of the Colton brand, restore MPP and Vespertine, bump whichever Beach House you like most and Love's Easy Tears, and then probably Pinegrove/The Radio Dept/Slowdive s/t. Then we can end this stupid game and call a simp a simp | | 50 |  | Coheed and Cambria
Neverender
Storm
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=190767
Storm claims to have axed TRIPLE FIGURES for this, but it is still miles too long so either I don't buy it or it doesn't matter. Or is it too long?! I dunno - this list is the polar opposite of Colton's insofar as it demystifies the cranky elitist aura of 5ness in a warm beery sweatybum hug of 5s. Storm's own particular style of slapdash excess, love of dorky feelsy loudguitarwhinge, and - most importantly! - glory days as Sputnik's COHEED AND CAMBRIA CHAMPION are all over this, and I'd be lying if I said it did anything less than sweep me away and make me smile. Peace out brother.
VERDICT: 4/5. The living loving working reality of a happy go lucky 5slist
DROP: This list is above criticism, but I'm still peeved you set Young Machetes as the best Blood Brothers (though it has grown on me a little)
BUMP: fuck me I cannot make it through those 4.5s there are too many. Never Take Friendship Personal and like 3 or 4 Blackpink albums idk you do you lol | | 51 |  | Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
The Tyranny of Distance
Fogza
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=662315
I feel I've seen this list before. Maybe this is because I was going to 5post you at some point and then either bailed or went for it and forgot. Maybe this is because I took a peep at it after doing Storm's and then put it off and then forgot. Maybe it's because Fogza, o Fogza our Fogza, irreplaceable though he be, is full of interchangeable indie vibes and, uh, uh, uh, yeah that's about it. This someone who very heavily lived through the 90s, struggles to believe in the transformexperimental transcendimental value of music except when it's extremely direct and obvious and/or sounds like Slint, and likes his profound sentiments served in overdrive graded anything from vaguely-existent to mild-sandpaper.
To his credit, he stands more firmly than most behind certain post-cult classic pre-household name artists who (probably) deserve it, and as such I shall conclude with the happy note that he is neither a basic bitch nor a poser. He is merely Indie Fogza.
VERDICT: 3.0/5. I am the road and Fogza is in the middle.
DROP: TM&A (too much wanky verse to be a true Fogza classic), Diamanda Galas (the double take I x2took here hurt my neck)
BUMP: Things We Lost in the Fire, Fire In The City Of Automatons, Over the Edge | | 52 |  | Emma Ruth Rundle
Marked For Death
JesperL
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1072663
So it's long been established that the user known as JesperL is zoomer trash, but I was still taken aback by just how much of a formative influence the sappiest parts of the 00s/early 10s had on the poor kid. Green Day/Brand New/Yellowcard/even The Hotelier fuckin ruined him. The rest of the list is basically a desperate attempt to upvote the NME's favourite 90s classics in attempt to mask layer upon layer of emogaze emo gaze gazemo swillpiss. And Counterparts. Fuckin great. I do, however, deeply enjoy someone who can't stomach the Beatles having a Queen 5. I also enjoy that Jesper is still like 14 years old and has a million years' worth of redemptive character progressions available to him.
VERDICT: 3.5/5. It's unique but, like, you can tell it needed stricter parenting.
DROP: Ten, OK Computer, Superunknown. You ain't fooling me that easily!!
BUMP: This list is flaccid enough that it needs Blushing. Eww. | | 53 |  | Strawberry Switchblade
Strawberry Switchblade
Cyclotron
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1057313
Are black holes celestial bodies? Or are they antibodies? You'd better hope the latter, because we all need all the antibodies we can get to fight off the cancerous database-blighting bullshit that is Cyclotron's ratings page. Truly the ajcollins15 of their time (when?), but without the decency to confine things to RYM frontpage records - pick anything vaguely niche, influential and Sput-obscure and you'll find its discog page pockmarked with Cyclo2s *or worse!!!!(!)* and literally nothing else. With great power comes at least some measure of responsibility, but Cyclotron won't justify their trash with so much as a single soundoff. Are their 5s okay? Yeah. Do they deserve access to 5s as an institution? Fuck right off.
VERDICT: obligatory 1/5. Cringe. Delete all this shit.
DROP: your marbles
BUMP: don't get me fucking started | | 54 |  | Bjork
Vespertine
Gyro
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=420199
Joined 03-25-09 hmmm yeah, first thought on this long, looooong list is that, together with Sput and Music, is clearly something that has meant different things to Gyro at various points in time. Which, like, is relatable but also the sprawl is confusing and I'm not sure how to approach/actually hold on
"haven't updated it in years and would prob remove like 10 of these but overall I'd keep most"
okay there we go (thx!). Gyro stands by his convictions and this list tells the full story. It's a pretty great showing - I knew this already because I've tried to 5post it on numerous occasions but quickly backed down each time on double checking the contents heh. Certainly a few albums I'd personally nuke from orbit, but there's such a generous showing of good shit across such a range of genres that I can't see anyone taking serious issue here. My main criticism is that it reads more like Gyro's observations of Sputnik through the ages than an easily followable mapping of the development of his specific tastes/interests over that time, but all told he's Sputniked pretty well.
VERDICT: 4/5. Solid sputlist.
DROP: We Will Always Love You, Meddle, Garden of Delete
BUMP: eyy Linear Cryptics! Depression Cherry is a Gyro classic in my head, also Sound of Silver, maybe Mezz, and one of those Weakerthans classics | | 55 |  | Big Black
Atomizer
kkarron
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1139370
Yoo kkarron is an amp-addicted cool cruising tire shredding noiseboi! Knew this love this. This list maps out a relatively select group of noise rock grails in short order, and then follows through with a load of (mostly) late '80s/early '90s metal from glorydays thrash/black/tech that was a minor surprise to me, but syncs easily enough and actually piqued my interest - I'm too used to seeing the likes of Coroner and Mercyful Fate repped by heavy breathing witless arses, but this list successfully made them cool. Congrats (fuck me, the leads on "Evil" do be stunners). kkarron is a good user and more metalheads should be kkarron. List is good.
VERDICT: 4/5. Would go higher but I feel you could use a couple of haymakers
DROP: Uhhh you can do without Burzum and maybe Sodom
BUMP: Sunset Mission, Midori or Otoboke Beaver, Music For the Jilted Generation, Leaves Turn or Disintegration | | 56 |  | Moondog
Moondog
someone
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1211569
Hello loving someone fans, we're basically looking at the real-deal post punk encyclopedia ft. whichsoever ethereal and/or oddball dreamz here. It is not what I expected, but also unsurprising! It is occasionally niche, but rarely obscure! It is excellent! Like, damn I like the someone school of post-punk a lot, and it makes me feel bad for casually enjoying Entertainment and Rag n Bone Geezer that one time and forgetting to go back to them at any point ever. But this is not about me, it's about someone's 5s. They all have soundoffs, ain't that wicked?
Actually, hold the phone can we all glance back at recent thread discourse and counter that someone is henceforth the only user allowed to write soundoffs for whichever albums he so please nice thank you continue.
Yes anyway, critique: someone's 5s are mostly perfect for his niche as Sputnik's favourite husky genial uncle. You always know how a conversation with him will start [vibewise] but the development is anyone's guess - there a load of uncompromising plot twists in this list that correspond to this. It is the Real Deal - but this does make me look at such uberpolished critical darlings as Dead Magic, Lift Yr Skinny Fists and (to a much lesser and ultimately unwarranted degree) Geogaddi with a slightly suspicious eye. These records are resistant to the odour of stale tobacco and stand out as such. Cleanse them or huff and puff a little harder please. Thank you for my lovely Christmas presents dad and I are drunk agai
VERDICT: 4.5/5. It's someone alright
DROP: Dead Magic, maybe Lift Yr Skinny Fists
BUMP: A I A: Alien Observer, Alphaville, In Quiet Moments, Real Life, maybe Sunshower | | 57 |  | Between the Buried and Me
The Parallax II: Future Sequence
Scheumke
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=437008
The fuck is this shit, a prog convention at Disneyland? With, like, musical theatre kids and random fakehigh "stoners" who've once never blazed in their lives but are counting on that first spliff to fill in their lifelong deficiencies of social esteem? Count me the fuck out. OPINIONS!! ok analysis: this is 101% the kind of list that differentiates the kind of person who is very much into heavy music from the kind of person you'd actually call a metalhead (am unsure of this is good or bad, so pretend this it's a compliment). It's got both cheesy sentimentalism and fluffy fantasy aplenty on both sides of the rawr line, so much so that (maybe the influence of that Pooh avi) I get a slightly nursery vibe from it and instinctively want to treat it with kid gloves. I don't trust my instincts, so am gonna go fucking hard instead. When Pearl Jam is a serious contender for the grittiest album on a list, something has gone badly wrong. What can be done? Fuck me, we might be in the kind of territory where a little (shivers) tech death would actually improve this thing. Maybe some DOOM to substantiate the brittle proggy melodrama? I am clutching at straws and give up gg Scheumke.
VERDICT: 1.5/5. Who the shit budgeted these rides.
DROP: Appetite for Destruction
BUMP: Night is the New Day, Paradise Lost, Hybrid Theory, October Rust, Stare Into Death And Be Still | | 58 |  | A Lot Like Birds
No Place
ajcollins15
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1091095
Goodness, there's a lot riding on this one. Let's start with a surprise: despite ajcollins' fiendish soundoff infamy, the majority of these 5s do not in fact include soundoffs - as clear a sign as any that Mr. aj (if that is even his real name!) holds the music he actually likes exempt from the same one half-focused listen musical-tourism bullshit he inflicts on everything else. Who can blame him? But what's the dynamo powering this whole EVIL enterprise? What are the spoils torn from the carcasses of the every-genre-ever that he references so liberally and in such generalised terms? Are we to be treated with an all-encompassing set of grails appropriate to this pan-muso connoisseur par excellence ursavant 目利き bona fide cockwomble?
Uh.
Yeah, this is a fucking hive of prognoodle artfart bollocks with frequently insufferable vocalists, backed up with a handful of electronic/jazz picks that Youtube algorithms said would be equally good for nonspecific background muzik as for megachonk IQ boosting. I have never been so underwhelmed by anything in my whole life. Doubtless a side-effect of being a pretty BIG list, there are a few cool scene-specific picks that aren't here purely because Rym hype (Kasra and ~maybe~ Haru Nemuri and, actually that's it), but I refuse to give them any credit because, ladies and gentlemen, we are dealing with an almighty STOOGE here. Sound the motherfuckin alarm.
VERDICT: Obligatory 1/5. This would have been a cogent list for some innocuous nerdprog user. In the hands of the most slapdash covert in Rym's bootcamp, it's a sick joke.
DROP: Every record not included in the Rolling Stone's top 100.
BUMP: 100 gecs, Billie Eilish, Clairo, Magdalena Bay and every other nu-internet zoomer trash pop artist | | 59 |  | King Crimson
Discipline
LeddSledd
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1210604
Time for Ledd. LeddSledd. Leddinbedd. Leddisdead. That fucking GUY. I was kinda surprised to see that Ledd only has 1100ish ratings - I feel like his journey has been both long and fruitful enough to yield double that, but I guess that's just a side-effect of paying attention to the shit you consume. Anyway, I was far less surprised to see that Ledd, picky yet high-spirited eater that he is, has whittled these albums down to a slender handful of 5s. Their calibre? Purty high. Their flavour? Upper-echelon prog x hevy Sput, lightly adorned with Havey's cosmic blight. Does this confirm the general image of Ledd as someone by and large sputnikking successfully? Absolutely. Does its sliiiightly overly precious grail value mark him out more specifically as someone more than happy to challenge his own tastes (in moderation), but who hasn't found anything he likes quite enough to tempt him into resting on his laurels? I think so. My vibe on Ledd has always been that he's mostly on top of his shit but also in no hurry to reach his final form - this list should add a little extra gravity to that character progression.
VERDICT: 3.5/5. This is a list of very good albums found on the internet. Ledd is building an empire; this might be his capital city, but I don't think it spells out his full potential.
DROP: If I had to pick one, You Fail Me or WYWH
BUMP: Spirit They're Gone, Spirit They've Vanished, I'm In Your Mind Fuzz, High Visceral Pt. 2, Willpower. Get that big Leddenergy where the kids can see it | | 60 |  | Chelsea Wolfe
Abyss
Dewi
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1090070
Long list, phwoar. This is a big, messy, sincere showing of the Dewi we all know and love, equal parts affirming and unflattering. It comes in intersecting wavelengths - we've got the same 70s totems as anywhere else, we've got 80s diva metal, we've got 90s MTV in its full pubescent glory (dammit Dewi, would have thought you were old enough to keep a steady hand back then), we've got enough devilishdeluxe helpings of anything vaguely gothic to score a hundred thousand B-movies. This is very much the work of a man who can't say no to a little dry ice and eyeliner, who likes powerful full tones from his girls but doesn't mind dropping his standards for guys if they're seedy or sweaty or just plain gruff enough. Curious.
These patterns come with a few licks of individuality here and there, the kind of stuff that would count as borderline contrarian on most other lists but comes as a mostly welcome surprise here: Riot! I guess fits in as the Nevermind of the 00s for this specific universe, Help! and Hard Day's Night as two-thirds of the best three Beatles albums is an enjoyable twist, Pizzicato Five as the greatest J-pop act of all time is a take I ultimately disagree with but would love to see repped more widely. Some of these are cursed - discounting everything made by Bjork and soundtrack material, I am not going to sit idly by while Two People rounds off the trio started by Mezzanine and Dummy as one of the apparent greatest electronic of all time. Bon Iver on this list smacks of a geezer who chose the wrong time to drop his guard, and Loveless as the sole shoegaze pick in a sea of riffs and catharsisisises is always an eyeroller. All in all, it's decent stuff on top of what is fundamentally a melodramatic metal list, but I think the most admirable part of this list is its honesty.
VERDICT: 3/5. Does this list offer a wide-ranging unrefined representation of Dewi? Absolutely. Does it show him at his best? Ehhh
DROP: Any Bon Iver, Mezzanine, Revolver, that cringey Converge record
BUMP: Pink, Elizabeth Colour Wheel, Killing Joke s/t, Eyes of Flesh Eyes of Flame, Romantique | | 61 |  | A Perfect Circle
Thirteenth Step
Flashmobba
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1081426
This list was made in a factory with the aim of satisfying generic music fans of all shapes and sizes with the absolute bare minimum. The Avalanches, Aphex and DJ Shadow fly the lonesome flag of an electronic starter pack unchanged since the 00s. Led Zep are the sole pre-90s band. Coltrane and Davis are the two token jazz picks because this is what the manager instructed. A lot of the indie picks here are of the insufferable hipster strain (Anco/Deerhunter), but that flavour aside, this reads like a specimen list that Flash.mo.bba. was on the verge of personalising before they decided to port over a load of Tool/APC albums and call it a day. I'll accept Hum and Failure as a vaguely defined vibe starting to emerge, but three records does not a good list make.
VERDICT: 2/5. Too drab to be especially offensive, but this is a straightforward mix of basic taste and bad taste, and I do not love it sry
DROP: Either every album that features MJK or every album that doesn't. Pick a side.
BUMP: Chiastic Slide, Hug of Thunder, m b v, Scenery. That's about as much personality as I can squeeze from thost 4.5s | | 62 |  | Neutral Milk Hotel
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
Asleep
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1064844
This is a minor improvement on Colton's list unwittingly published by an apparent colossal soyboy: I always thought there was a strong overtone of "will this lubricate my highly frictional boysoul" lurking behind each and every one of Asleep's "This ///////album/////// is [i][i][i][i][i][i]heavy[/i][/i][/i][/i][/i][/i] as [u][u][u][u]fuck[/u][/u][/u][/u]"-s. Now we know for sure. Asleep clearly wants-needs us all to take note of this maudlin sophouse he purports as Music Taste, but he's evidently too shy to say it out loud most of the time. You're welcome.
VERDICT: 3.0/5. I'd normally rate this lower, but it gets the sympathy hug it's clearly advertising for.
DROP: Shallow Grave
BUMP: The Black Parade, Terrifyer | | 63 |  | Arghoslent
Incorrigible Bigotry
combustion07
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=251894
"I listen to everything as long as it pleasures my ear pussy, plain and simple," gawd did this intro make *my* insides seize up for a moment. This flower definitely has ragged edges - you can tell it's been the victim of the bigger-is-better mentality and badbois of high questionable intentions (Arghoslent, Dissection, Roger Waters) and should probably undertake its transactions aural and oral with a little more self-preservation instinct, but seeing it lying there reeling from excess stimulation in that spangled reverie, I'm pretty sure it's immune to whatever advice I have to offer. There are a few records that suggest a little restraint or patience, but by the time you've scrolled down enough to see NoMeansNo it's too little, too late.
VERDICT: 2.5/5. Picks no bones about liking it rough, but I'm unconvinced of how much empowerment combustion07 derives from this
DROP: Arghoslent, as if that needed asking. Probably Loveless too - no room for warm blankets on this merciless steel-frame bed
BUMP: A Wilhelm Scream, Anal Cunt, Assuck / Old Lady Drivers, Heavy Breathing, Enlightened With Pain, Fixation on a Coworker... you get the drift | | 64 |  | Limbonic Art
In Abhorrence Dementia
Egarran
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=431699
Egarran is the worst user on Sputnik. One of the best things about Egarran is that it's very seldom necessary to interact with him directly about anything to do with music. This list does contain an admittedly slim proportion of what certain wannabe ESP prodigy basement-dwelling eczema-suffering dungeon arses would describe as "music". Fuck. Yeah, the [Warhammer] lion's share of this list is stinky doom-thrash-stoner-prog whatever that's been slowly circling the drain ever since the millennium. There is some """avant""" metal and it's enough to paint Eg in a cuter light - as is the list's adorably tentative sentimentalist side (Mew/Mazzy Star/Kishi Bashi). This, while somewhat refreshing, is too woefully malnourished in this mire of unwashed hair and belly fluff to be a proper saving grace. Can Egarran be saved? I dunno. Someone bathe the wretch.
VERDICT: 2/5. Clearly the imprint of someone who ran out of hope for either himself or this slowly dying world and tried to compensate with a mix of boomer grails and gawky despairmetal. Dangerous mix.
DROP: Doolittle purely because it's the one faint grasp this list makes in the ultrageneral direction of coolguy territory. No.
BUMP: ABBA, Ayreon, Bo Burnham, Wildhoney | | 65 |  | Prince Daddy and The Hyena
Cosmic Thrill Seekers
Conmaniac
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1052092
Much like its creator, this list is for getting sluggishly introspective on a sunny day, making good memories out of maudlin I-don't-know-mans. It occasionally deals with profound substance in an offhand way and less occasionally confronts it head-on. The upshot of this is deeply morbid, but at least we know that, contrary to the sophouse we saw back on AsleepintheBack's list (62), he can ground his lazydays emo vibes with [an attempt at] a little grit and depth. You can also tell that he ultimately likes to live well because every album that isn't specifically oriented around death carries such nondescript sentimental wavy vibes that he has clearly never heard any of them outside of the blazehaze. He's doing just fine this way.
VERDICT: 5/5 Conlist, but it's too substance-contingent to give a high score in coldfish sober reality. Will settle for 3.5/5
DROP: A Crow Looked At Me. This scans as a "death is real" post-it reminder, and you are a big grown boy now
BUMP: Fevers & Mirrors, maybe WU LYF or Elliott Smith or some other hipster shit you can selectively transcend | | 66 |  | Beach House
Bloom
normaloctagon
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1234487
This one was painful. norma actually has above average and occasionally Good taste in most genres that don't contain guitars, as represented by one of Sputnik's premier pie charts. This list is not above average or even average. It is terrible. It is the centre of the drainpipe and even the most desperate of angel-doves have given up circling it, olive branches clutched in claw. Everything unfortunate about late 90s/early 00s MTV guttermetal whinge bollocks is represented here in spAdEs, the Floyd/Beatles/Radiohead/Opeth spammage is the most unrecovered-from-freshman-yr bullshit I've seen in a hot minute, and there are pluralities of both Beach House and Coldplay albums because norma desperately needs you to know that he's a nice guy the morning after. Can confirm, but, like, it was too deja vu to be gratifying. There are niches and bright spots and intrigues, but this list's many good electronic (or otherwise) picks cannot redeem things because too many of them come from the same very very popular artists and it reads as an extension of the circ-jerk even though I know this isn't necessarily the case. Linkin Park and Children of Bodom are potentially the best metal bands here after ISIS. I give up. Sort your shit out, norma.
VERDICT: 1.5/5. Imagine erasing your entire comment history for a "fresh start" and then leaving this untouched.
DROP: Literally everything that isn't house or ISIS except Destroy Erase Improve, Revolver, The White Birch, Victorialand, Dronevil, Incunabula, 1 Burial, 1 BoC, Starspawn, Mariah Carey, 3 arbitrary hiphop records and Focus. And Hybrid Theory.
BUMP: Deadmau5, Disclosure, Kim Petras, Nujabes, Young Thug | | 67 |  | Joy Division
Closer
toctectac
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=192822
This another one of those beautifully succinct "bespoke" lists put together by someone who puts out as a picking choosing wheeling dealing connoisseur but is ultimately a colossal fake bitch, because it reads like another deja vu rag compiled by an NMEdledropym robot. You can't break my heart tec, I've seen your kind before. Your choices from within that hivemind lucky dip are mostly acceptable, but I just can't accept any of them as the mark of an authentic human being m'bad. I think that if you pared this list back to everything resembling the sound of invisible gaseous movements (This Heat/Spiderland/Laughing Stock etcetc) and threw in the loud NY shit (Swans, Naked City, Branca), it would probably fare quite was as wanna be cimnele (1) material, but instead you cancel these out with eyeroller simpage a la Beach House, American Football, Kid A, Takk, etcetc..
Is that all I've got? Maybe so. I'm trying to be mean here - it would be splendid if we could disagree a little more and butt heads enough to make a spectacle, but you insist so adamantly on being your own worst enemy in this list that I feel inadequate by comparison. Give it a rest and I'll get you next time.
VERDICT: 2.5/5. Average online musicing yada yada
DROP: Everything released from OK Computer chronologically onwards, excluding possibly Vespertine
BUMP: Rembrandt Pussyhorse, Paracletus, Coyote, Aviary, The Book About My Idle Plot on a Vague Anxiety, lol Contra | | 68 |  | Perturbator
The Uncanny Valley
TVC15
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=840110
This is the kind of overlong messy list I can vaguely get behind: it's ugly, frequently tasteless and a little emotionally stunted (that number of Katatonia x Opeth x Porcupine Tree x Deftones x Nine Inch Nails 5s, hot damn kid catch some sunlight) *but* to the discerning reader (hi), there's a ton of good rogue(ish) picks (Mo*te, Aviary, Gridlink, Sadness Will Prevail) alongside a handful of what should be obvious consensus picks but have been strangely absent from this wretched anthology of bad tastes (The Slider, Transient Noise, How To Measure Planet, Dum Spiro). Our boi has mostly sold taste in gamer electronic and nerd pop and I would jam with him and tease him and enjoy it. Based?
VERDICT: Either the best bad list or the worst good one so far. 3.6666/5
DROP: Most of the bad picks suit you. Drop some unremarkable ones! Jupiter and Wolf Alice
BUMP: Druqks, Sham Mirrors, Cosmos, Board Up The House, Miss Anthropoce | | 69 |  | Kate Bush
The Sensual World
ReefaJones
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1136287
Refinement takes many shapes. Sometimes it is like a pencil. Sometimes it is a simple harmony in sophisticated placement. Sometimes it is throwing away all your possessions and finding the one thing you needed all along. In this case, it is sitting in an armchair, stroking your overwaxed handlebar tache, fighting the instinct to ask your long-departed ex for another gin and tonic, staring away from the clock that reads 13:30 Sunday afternoon, and reassuring yourself that your imported 1.3x scale replica of the Venus de Milo does not count as a sex doll because culture. These albums are all tasteful, safe and probably classic. There are some safe but unorthodox inclusions and exclusions that I occasionally agree with (hooray for My Favorite Things), but their combination yields absolutely zero joy in acknowledging any of their individual goodness, so frankly what's the point.
VERDICT: 2.5/5. Not good not bad average | | 70 |  | Lambchop
Damaged
Dylan620
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=431149
Dylan is a sweet kid who occasionally has Not Good takes but generally just vivas that vida
My expectations for this list were dire! Shock horror, it ain't bad! Well, much of it kinda is, but only in the sense that this is a colossally sputty endearingly nerdy relatably sentimental anthology of records half of us have grown out of and the other half are lying through their teeth about having been too cool for. All hail Dylan, for he has had the best time on Sput! Kudos for keeping up that blog with a couple of contemp picks that will almost certainly not stand the test of time, but do look lovely next to everything else here. There's a lot of Lampchop and I could not tell you whether or not this is a good thing. Tentative strong pass!!
VERDICT: 3.5/5. Heartful and greater than the sum of its parts
DROP: You've got a cosy full house here. Pet Sounds if you want to look less tryhard or The Bends if the opposite
BUMP: Streethawk, Yerself Is Steam | | 71 |  | Devin Townsend
Ocean Machine: Biomech
parksungjoon
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1034220
Ah. park. Where have I seen that name before? Where haven't I? park holds the answers (or none) and his inscrutablity hints at a thousand locked doors. When the guy isn't resurrecting the deadest lists in all of history or exorcising Nazism from commonplace geriatric shitchat, he's applying his recently found discovery that most music is boring and sucks to all of his nostalgic once-classics, armed with a ruthlessness both admirable and highly fucking depressing. Surely, we'd think, this is the prelude to the 5slist to end all 5slists aaaand ah. It is the boringest basicest bitchest Music Fan starter pack I have ever laid eyes upon (ft. Real Metal Fans Only DLC). Wow. I would slate this list to hell if it were from a normal user, but from park I feel outright betrayed. There is truly no redemption for man.
VERDICT: 1/5. No use killing your idols if you're not gonna kill the MAN's too.
DROP: Everything except Aphex, Coroner, one of ISIS and Slint, Nattens Madrigal, Underworld and I guess Dummy
BUMP: A.A.L., one Crimson, Schulze, New Forms | | 72 |  | Charli XCX
How I'm Feeling Now
Sint
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1054524
Not gonna lie, I was dreading this one. Sint's ratings page has shrunk in the last year or so, but this is still an absolute marathon - HOWEVER, unlike most previous entries of this nature, the standard of content here is consistently good-to-very-good! So much so that the *generous* handful of actual classics interspersed here don't even feel glaringly out of place among your (approx) entire Charli XCX/Brand New/Modest Mouse/Marina/Los Campesinos! discogs. Sint's inimitably earnest dual wielding of sour-summer emo and tooth-disintegrating sweet poptimism is less a poisoned chalice and more an arbitrary font of Content that finds itself course-corrected by rich irrigation system of good times, good beats and good(ish) taste. The boi's got an inner basic bitch hipster-in-denial that he'd do well to kill off sometime (see: Big Thief, Beach House, BCNR, the other ones), but otherwise I'd say
VERDICT: unequivocal license to shit_band-post 4/5
DROP: Teen Dream, Good News for People Who Love Bad News, Reunion Tour (but actually don't), *deep breath* TWO Regina albums, Charli
BUMP: We, Burning Giraffes, Split with Maggat for that full set, Weatherglow, World Eater, some Bright Eyes album, this list is too long I quit | | 73 |  | Porcupine Tree
In Absentia
Masochist
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=248968
Phwoar baby, this is some proper sputnikkin right here: 12 whole 5s, all instantly recognisable to even the most casual sputter's eye, (almost) all soundoff'd to the hilt. They come in pairs, and the pairs come in true sput style: Dylan and Cash, Biggie and Kendrick, Floyd and Crimson, Devin Townsend and Steven Wilson. Fuckssakes. On the one hand, I do not think I'd be able to rec Masochist anything at all based purely off these 5s; on the other hand, this ain't awful as far as solid-but-safe goes.
VERDICT: am enjoying the very vague impression I have of this list for the very fleeting moment that it seems likely to last. 2.5
DROP: In Absentia, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
BUMP: Relationship of Command, You're Dead!, maybe Third Eye Blind | | 74 |  | Glassjaw
Coloring Book
tyler.
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=437339
i am stressed i am tipsy i fuckin love tyler.. tyler. gives no fucks and fucks all. good for tyler.! tyler. as an institution represents the best parts of old skramzy guitary two-steps-away-from-the-scene-y sputnik minus the infantility and toxicity plus so much sarcasm that you won't know the difference. that is basically what this list is. tyler. has better taste than you by probably a lot, but he is too cool to pretend he has good taste. he is probably aware that the birthing years of his taste peaked long ago, yet he ages gracefully and actively enough that aging as a concept is aging well. you may have questions. is glassjaw's discography really that 5.0 classic? through the tint of tyler., yes actually it kind of is. i like this list. it is true to tyler.. it is good. it includes pinkerton yet is somehow still mid-20s cool. on we fuck. none of us will be younger.
VERDICT: exactly the kind of adult angst vintage bullshit you should sign up to this site for. 4.5
DROP: probably Interpol on the sole basis of normcore rationale
BUMP: Number 1 Angel, Drive Like Jehu s/t, Cryonics, Lava Land, maybe End on End. But only bump 2 of them bc this list is a good length | | 75 |  | Haste the Day
Attack of the Wolf King
sr388
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1112597
"favorite bands
ethel cain, imogen heap, oklou, emmure, stars of the lid,"
Who are you and do you do meet and greets? This list is a beautiful collage of three *strong* tastes that do not - should not!? - belong to one person (slow droney shit, brvtal core shit, frequently obnoxious loudartsy pop/hopshit). I love it. It looks so natural. It looks so WRONG. It is not perfect and my excitement is already wearing off, but I love you dearly already. Great work if this is an alt
VERDICT: Fascinatingly weird combination of things great and terrible and somewhere in between that should not sit together and could only exist on this site. 4.5/5
DROP: Jane Doe or Homogenic. They look good next to anything, and I don't like this for your list
BUMP: lol Iowa | | 76 |  | Seefeel
Seefeel
AnimalsAsSummit
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=713097
Now *this* is what I log onto sputnikmusic.com for. AAS' brand of future-lounge ambient atmocyber sophistigaze is easily one of the most distinctive and enjoyable brands of any user here, with depth and versatility to boot. This is a deservedly long list from someone who obviously believes in every facet of this [cluster of] sound[s] with complete conviction, obvious picks and deep cuts side by side every step of the way. It's versatile enough to appeal to anyone with even the slightest interest in any of shoegaze, IDM, DnB, indie or pop, and it's not shy about its disposition towards keynote artists or the kind of whimsical-fantastical shit you need a healthy imagination, a little suspension of disbelief, and a cynicism-free metabolism to enjoy. An example to us all.
VERDICT: Beautiful list. I want to hear pretty much every album I haven't already. 5/5
DROP: maybe Wake/Lift
BUMP: Whitenoise Superstar, Hex, Flood, Music For Airports, Nadja, Miki Furukawa's solo thing, Pan Sonic, Popol Vuh, Hi-Fi Anatomia, Xanopticon, Wildhoney | | 77 |  | Fear Before
The Always Open Mouth
Mort.
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1034844
And now, this time, on this occasion, at last, as many(?) have asked many(!!!!!!) times, we turn to Mort.. Ah, Mort.. The posterling of yesteryear Sput's axle grease, scene-surfing and metalcoring rosy-raging adolescent times, now grown wiser, more existential, more confrontational and many many times less sure of what is up or down. Mort. can legitimately tell you the good tunes from the no-gooders (just so long as they weren't made by anyone even a day younger than him), but can he tell you where old Mort. ends and nu-Mort. begins? He's painfully aware of the divide, but fumbles when it comes to pinpointing it.
No matter - this list is an excellent compendium of heyday post-hardcore/noise rock classics (see: everything that isn't TFOT, or DGD-adjacent ), mixed in with a couple of choice vintage gems (Prefab Sprout, XTC) and the odd zanyspacey cut to prove a boi can dream (Pygmalion, Duster, Baths). Would I listen to and enjoy and probably immediately relisten to the majority of this list, and have I literally done that at various points in the past? Absolutely. Could it be stripped of a little awkward kidbaggage that Mort. doesn't need to make a show of carrying around (American Football, and...er). Bet. But above all, does it actually maybe need a healthy top-up of the seething moshing cringing metalcore cronge that our good lad has done almost too good a job of almost suppressing? I think so! Stay true, you colossal sillybilly - you don't need to be this clean!
VERDICT: good'un from a real one. 4.3/5
DROP: Obsidian, Doppelganger, American Football
BUMP: Bear vs. Shark, Cannibal Ox, Couch Slut, Cutting Pink With Knives, Take to the Skies, HORSE the band, Johnny Truant, Knut, KEN Mode, The Heat Death of the Universe, Terrifyer, Seizures, Async, Youth of America | | 78 |  | Timeghoul
1992-1994 Discography
evilford
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/evilford
"""evil""" ford is an all-round top guy and a salve on the many [sick!!] burns peppered around Sputnik metal threads - he is a worthy March Madness champ and has altogether far too much personality for the Intermediate Bird Skull Collection chronically dnd-prone dumb alien scifi mausoleum-catered brand of death metal that this list epitomises. The story here is far less (needlessly and hilariously artificially) fussy than Pon's hikkikomori death-cult-of-the-Anglosphere-basement-empire travesty of a list, but it does have too much in common with its general flavour.
The catch is that if you *remove* the death/post/prog/sludge metal majority from list, you're left with an adorably normie bedrock that suggests some measure of social versatility. Rush, QOTSA, RATM, Floyd, Bowie, Talking Heads, Eminem? Maybe it's not a wide or d-d-d-deep selection, but the guy has a common ground with just about anyone right there - and he's even got Slint as a get-in with the hip kids! Ford has never pretended to be a tastemaker or overly precious about things he doesn't ultimately care about, but as far as a putatively one-trick set of taste goes, this is refreshingly grounded and well-rounded.
VERDICT: deja vu, but honest and easy to respect for what it is. 3.5/5
DROP: Aenima - you're much too cool for that bs
BUMP: The Cold Vein, Moonmadness, Saturday Night Wrist, Red, Australasia, one from Kyuss and OutKast | | 79 |  | Malice Mizer
Merveilles
Jasdevi087
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1036414
I wasn't entirely what to expect from Jas, but this mingling of enlightened-conservative consensus classics (see: Ryus/z00sh/harvey) with easily discernible but individually unobtrusive moments of personal flair does seem fairly matched to him. Many of its obvious quirks are inoffensive at worst (Debut as the best Bjork and Noise as the best Boris are strange takes, but rather unassuming as far as eye-catchingly odd opinions go), and its populist cards (Gorrilaz and Lights esp) scan as half-hearted representations of a less stuffy taste that I don't think holds its own against these innumerable critical setpieces.
I'm reserving some measure of judgement, since there's a decent number of things I now want to hear (Current 93, Joan Baez) or am overdue checking (Secrets of the Beehive, I Tell A Fly, Graceland, Gauze), but this is essentially the imprint of an adamant Online Music Nerd who has reserved the majority of his extant idiosyncrasies to back up an apparent love for V-kei and the occasional hill few would consider fit to die on.
VERDICT: Not a bad list by any means, but it's neither the best embodiment nor the most interesting appropriation of the canon it rather compliantly siphons from. 3.0/5
DROP: Radiohead, Lateralus, Godspeed, maybe Kate Bush. Even by the standards of the canon in questions, these are dull picks (and most don't live up to the standards this list is apparently pushing for)
BUMP: anything by Anna von Hausswolff, Banks, Fela Kuti, Natural Snow Buildings, Number Girl and The Body should be a good start. Also Deep Turtle, Hiding Places and Boy In Da Corner | |
JohnnyoftheWell
04.04.22 | Nice who's next | dedex
04.04.22 | m/
| Ryus
04.04.22 | me | JohnnyoftheWell
04.04.22 | omg i was literally just doing you wtf | ArsMoriendi
04.04.22 | I’d rather die than let sometime who loves Naked City but doesn’t get Zappa review my taste
Whip me Johnny | Pangea
04.04.22 | i personally like all of pangea's 5s | GhandhiLion
04.04.22 | Based After Dinner enjoyer | Trifolium
04.04.22 | JOHNNY DO ME!!!! | JohnnyoftheWell
04.04.22 | yh After Dinner at the top of that list is a big pog
and i can fw ZAPPA when he's not in wank gear, but absolutely not that bullshit classical clown collage you linked for SOTD fuck me. will do more imminently | ArsMoriendi
04.04.22 | Great alliteration! Also surprisingly better take on Greggery Peccary than everyone else wtf | Cimnele
04.04.22 | aw thanks :3 im really pleased with my 5s, glad you like em too | Ryus
04.04.22 | my 5s are actually perfect but ill take it | JohnnyoftheWell
04.04.22 | they can be as individually perfect as they like, but they gotta bring out the best in each other!! | Icebloom
04.04.22 | Judge me! Probably gonna get roasted but I'm curious anyway | SlothcoreSam
04.04.22 | I got some tasty 5s for you. Put on your bib, and get ready to droooooooollll | SteakByrnes
04.04.22 | do me do me! | Trifolium
04.04.22 | Hihihiihihihhiih pheeew, thought the Coldplay would destroy me but this is good 💚 | bgillesp
04.04.22 | Ooh I wanna play! | JohnnyoftheWell
04.04.22 | Yikes okay I've gotta sleep but I will catch up on y'all tomorrow! Peace | hesperus
04.04.22 | eviscerate me daddy | tyman128
04.04.22 | my 5s suck, rip into them | rabidfish
04.04.22 | i think my 5's are both a good sample of my taste but also no, not at all. tell me how i should feel about them. | deathschool
04.04.22 | 🔮 | ArsMoriendi
04.04.22 | Oh dang nice | Demon of the Fall
04.04.22 | do me... fully expecting a 2.5/3, lol?
edit: ah so 5s only, yeah this would've been much more Johnny-palatable if it included my 4.5s, I imagine.
| SharkTooth
04.04.22 | I have a fuckton of 5s lmao, not really sure there's much of anything to glean from them | DavidYowi
04.04.22 | Roast em babeyyy! | CottonSalad
04.04.22 | [2] | ReturnToRock
04.04.22 | Go ahead and roast mine. Everyone else already has. | Drifter
04.04.22 | what is this i want to be included | Avagantamos
04.04.22 | do me harrrrrd | z00sh
04.04.22 | Oh this will be fun | Zac124
04.04.22 | My 5's do need a good roasting. | grumbledwerm
04.04.22 | me please | brainmelter
04.04.22 | put me in as well coach | porcupinetheater
04.04.22 | Hit me bb one more time | Pikazilla
04.04.22 | I do not recall signing up for this
will this turn into a cyberbullying thread | deathofasalesman
04.04.22 | let's see what you can do wit me | Demon of the Fall
04.04.22 | love the Potsy minesweeper ref despite not being able to possibly fathom whether it’s accurate or not
doubt you can either to be fair, but the gag was worth it | neekafat
04.04.22 | me?? | Lord(e)Po)))ts
04.05.22 | When you’ve got ratings as old as Johnny’s shtick you just get to a point where the minute reward for earnestly cataloguing music caves under the weight of its own tedium and the task of summarizing your thoughts and opinions with numbers becomes futile.
I prefer to just talk about music and rate arbitrarily, because at the end of the day that’s all it is.
And that my friends, is why it is impossible to respect anyone who rates in .1 increments :) | Senetrix666
04.05.22 | i objectively have the best 5s. do your worst | Koris
04.05.22 | Yeah, I guess I'll throw my hat into the ring as well | Winesburgohio
04.05.22 | bitch u guessed it
u was right | Winesburgohio
04.05.22 | only fair you do havey to mete out some justice | theBoneyKing
04.05.22 | Do me I guess. Betting on a hard 2.5 | Pon
04.05.22 | I wanna unfeature this and feature it again just for that ghandhi entry. Me next pls | Sunnyvale
04.05.22 | I request to be roasted as well, good list! | Cygnatti
04.05.22 | Am confuzed by this list | hesperus
04.05.22 | yoooooo
my pronouns are they/them but otherwise i v much appreciate your evaluation of my taste | SteakByrnes
04.05.22 | Righteous description johnny I was hoping it'd be like that :] much love | MiloRuggles
04.05.22 | either try your hardest to hurt my feelings or just rate my 4.5s, ty | Sowing
04.05.22 | Haha, a 3/5 is more generous than I expected from you. Funny descriptions. | Kompys2000
04.05.22 | Ooh do me next! | SlothcoreSam
04.05.22 | Trapped in the closet is a 5 s is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life! | Dedes
04.05.22 | I absolutely know where this is going w/e bully me you fucking bastard you can't contest these sweet riffs brother | JohnnyoftheWell
04.05.22 | Oh shit, sorry hesp - will amend that quicksharp, my bad + noted!
Will do some more of these in the soon | anat
04.05.22 | and me | Colton
04.05.22 | go outside | Storm In A Teacup
04.05.22 | Whoa | JohnnyoftheWell
04.05.22 | i went to a deer park and there were dopey stray deer everywhere and fed them non-nourishing crackers and it has only just now occurred to me that any one of them could have been colton shit damn | Pikazilla
04.05.22 | have you ever visited fox island? | Colton
04.05.22 | is that a reference to the fox that chased me for kilometers
that wasn't funny i was scared | JohnnyoftheWell
04.05.22 | colton was scared he was gonna get the pox
so scared that he didn't box the fox
...
[updated] | Pikazilla
04.05.22 | damn, fox island would be one of my first destinations if I lived in Japan | fogza
04.05.22 | omg i googled it now looks so damn cute | JesperL
04.05.22 | how many foxes actually live there tho | Pikazilla
04.05.22 | a lot | Gyromania
04.05.22 | https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=420199
Boom! I haven't updated it in years and would prob remove like 10 of these but overall I'd keep most | Demon of the Fall
04.05.22 | okay this was worth it, I'll work on removing 'the bird's nest' lol
good roast
this has definitely made me curious enough to click on a few profiles I hadn't previously considered (from memory?) perusing | Demon of the Fall
04.05.22 | I think this list could be improved by a suggestion of one album for each user to consider improving their 5s with, possibly using their own 4s/4.5s (if applicable, if not then a rec of something new).
not the 'best', just the one that would impact your scoring the most
just thought it might be interesting to see what you could come up with | Icebloom
04.05.22 | Haha I expected this. Thanks for the roast, Johnny, I always enjoy your writing. My 4.5's would have been much more Johnny-proof I think, as that's where most of the slowcore/post-punk stuff I like ends up. But that's maybe for another list...
Also: you should add yourself to this list! I want to hear what you think of your own selection of 5s. | kkarron
04.05.22 | Ooh do me do me do me! | kkarron
04.05.22 | Ugh now that I actually look at mine with this in mind it sucks ass. | someone
04.05.22 | alright johnnyboi, tell daddy what you think of him
come on now | rabidfish
04.05.22 | i'm literally joaquim phoenix's joker rn.
but fr, i think what can complicate the cohesion of the list is that most of the music i listen to isn't actually on the database lol, my listening experience is more or less like this:
- 33% roots reggae/dub/latin music dj mixes and megamixes on youtube
- 33% obscure jazz albums that aren't on the database and are too much of a 3.2 for me to actually care
- 34% shit i rate here | SharkTooth
04.05.22 | your description p much sounds it up
I'm not very picky about ratings | bgillesp
04.05.22 | Lol, exactly what I expected | Scheumke
04.05.22 | Alright do me *giggidy* | tyman128
04.05.22 | love you Johnny loll, if you saw my 5s about 3 years ago it would be saturated with coreboi high school me | Storm In A Teacup
04.05.22 | Judge meeeeee in the ring of fire | LeddSledd
04.06.22 | ooh ooh me! | JohnnyoftheWell
04.06.22 | lol rabid's got one foot in sput, two feet out the door. love to see it
updated with a load more, have decided to steal Demon's idea for all new blurbs, will maybehopefully update the old ones with it at a point in time (these are probs gonna be based 66% on brand and 33% on quality)
also it looks like I've forgotten Cotton, but there is more to come
also also re. Icebloom comment, i am not doing myself lol but if anyone posts a strong take in the correc format, it'll go up | Dewinged
04.06.22 | My 5s are absolutely terrible, but I'd love you to prose them, if you might! Yoroshiku! | LeddSledd
04.06.22 | zoosh's 5s are killer, I should hear more of them
same with cimnele | Ryus
04.06.22 | how could you give my alt a higher score than me smh | z00sh
04.06.22 | >I can't give you full marks for this because it's half convinced me you're a Ryus alt
Lmaoooo | JohnnyoftheWell
04.06.22 | bc your main holds back -_- now cough up some answers chump
ed. tfw you get ninja'd by the alt of the boi you're trying to reply to holy shit | Kompys2000
04.06.22 | patiently awaiting my execution OwO
Might see if I can't comb those johnny 5s and rassle up a take or two since I'm prob too jetlagged and brainfogged to do anything more productive tonight | Colton
04.06.22 | if you do mine does that mean you'll actually listen to The Wild Hunt? cause honestly I think you might be ready | Flashmobba
04.06.22 | meeeeee por favor | Koris
04.06.22 | Oh shit, I'm next lol
Edit: well, at least mine wasn’t a 1 or something like that :] | Kompys2000
04.06.22 | JohnnyoftheWell
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=538903
We all know and love johnny's traversals of post-alternative japanese hipster memes, and yes this list IS more than one-quarter weeb, but do not for a SECOND forget this charming devil's comprehensive fluency in western record store chatter! From longtime critical darlings like Björk and Sonic Youth to unsung gems like Oceansize, this list reflects a seasoned and discerning veteran of the indiesphere. Option Paralysis is merely serviceable as the requisite metal pick but all told JOTW makes this list his own reasonably well. Artisan vanilla ice cream with candy chunkz.
VERDICT: uhh 4/5 I guess, could maybe use a curveball or two but these are mostly very good albums.
DROP: Artist in the Ambulance- being into Thrice in 2022 is like being into the Eagles in 2003 sorry
BUMP: Ziggy Stardust since johnnycore's biggest blind spot is music that predates MTV. | Koris
04.06.22 | The judge became the judged :O | Pangea
04.06.22 | good content kompy
anathema also needs a drop | CottonSalad
04.06.22 | “looks like I've forgotten Cotton”
I am currently the future. | Havey
04.06.22 | https://rateyourmusic.com/collection/I0000days/r5.0
my real 5s are here | ReturnToRock
04.06.22 | Whoa. Not as bad as i expected. Also, I noticed some of my 5/5's are missing from that list (Ella and Louis and Piece of Mind, at least, are not on there.) Is this a normal occurrence? | anat
04.06.22 | I hope you haven’t forgotten to do me king | AsleepInTheBack
04.06.22 | This list is fucking savage and I love it.
Draw me like one of your French girls Johnny W | Demon of the Fall
04.06.22 | 'updated with a load more, have decided to steal Demon's idea for all new blurbs, will maybehopefully update the old ones with it at a point in time'
lol imagine using my idea, then potentially failing to 'go backwards' and therefore I do not ever receive the benefit of your eternal wisdom
I may as well just end it all, no pressure | ArsMoriendi
04.06.22 | Is Johnny gonna retrofit all of the entries with drops and bumps? | combustion07
04.06.22 | I wanna be involved | Havey
04.06.22 | @ars DROP Animals BUMP Pet Sounds | z00sh
04.06.22 | i should bump that too tbf | neekafat
04.06.22 | "Good 4.5s tbh"
lol thank you for this at least
jk, pretty fair writeup you ol' sourpuss < 3 | Demon of the Fall
04.06.22 | 'Redeemed somewhat because most of these albums are very good.' = 2.5/5
seriously I appreciate the work here, it is indeed rather amusing and much better than scoring users based on 'these albums are bad / good', because where's the fun in that?
only problem is it can thus be hard to improve oneself when presented with such a complicated and invisible scoring system | JohnnyoftheWell
04.06.22 | hmm all content is user-tailored and there is zero consistency as such but your section has been expanded while i procrastinate finishing this or throwing all my shit into a suitcase so i can move out tomorrow holy fuck what a night it's gonna be | Pikazilla
04.06.22 | where you moving to | fogza
04.06.22 | i always pictured you owning nothing but three colour blocked suits, 4 crystal glasses, a skinny tie and a baby synth tbh | Pikazilla
04.06.22 | and a dakimakura | JohnnyoftheWell
04.06.22 | back to the UK, via tokyo for a few days, and uh uh uh uh this will probably be the case by the time i'm done throwing shit out tbqh. and drapes and cds and my camera and that's it. big update imminent.
plus forgot to say, lmao and thanx kompys for your fine work. i expected something harsher, but highly cogent takedowns most cert | Egarran
04.06.22 | holy fuck fogz that's what I imagined too | Pikazilla
04.06.22 | why you going back to the uk? noooooooooooo | fogza
04.06.22 | so simpatico! | JohnnyoftheWell
04.06.22 | it is too late my time has come
updated and now we are done with users who are not real people phew | Pikazilla
04.06.22 | are you bringing your gf and cat with you | JohnnyoftheWell
04.06.22 | gf alas no, cat is at my folks' place and has probably forgotten i exist *but* i made friends with a really cute mangy stray in town earlier so maybe it will come with | Pheromone
04.06.22 | i am strong indie prick | CottonSalad
04.06.22 | “Is it real? Is any of this shit? You tel”
lol, pos’d | CottonSalad
04.06.22 | Honestly never felt so seen tbh | GhandhiLion
04.06.22 | lol the scaruffi link | theBoneyKing
04.06.22 | Johnny you can't keep blue ballin me like this | JohnnyoftheWell
04.06.22 | sorry lol i need several lifetimes' worth to recover from wines thru baseline first | CottonSalad
04.06.22 | sorry lol [2] | anat
04.06.22 | don’t come back to uk until you have reviewed my 5s | Conmaniac
04.06.22 | reviewception right here - might as well throw myself out there too if it’s not too late | DavidYowi
04.06.22 | “This is a long list and its words are: pain, fantasy, deodorant, introspection, introversion, volume, pain, volume, pain, life.”
Damn I just like offputting bass grooves. I feel like I should 5 like a Carly Rae Jepsen record or something. Is my taste in music really this depressing? lmao | normaloctagon
04.06.22 | don't come to US until you have reviewed my 5s | DavidYowi
04.06.22 | “but I do think I know Yowi as an online presence a distinct increment better now. It works!”
This put a smile on my face. Ty for the roast Johnny! | Drifter
04.06.22 | LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i would say check my rym for more full ratings but i think you would have the same assessment lmfao. thank you this is amazing | Storm In A Teacup
04.06.22 | Changing my 5s to be real for this lmao | Storm In A Teacup
04.06.22 | Okay just nuked my 5s over 100 of them are gone. Used to be over 300 5s now it is less than 200. 😙 | Winesburgohio
04.07.22 | Hell yes - I bumped Amnesiac and Cosmogramma on rim this very week! And as for you: can’t decide whether you have the most pretentious unpretentious 5s I’ve yet seen or the most unpretentious pretentious 5s I’ve borne witness to. Either way they make me v. happy | someone
04.07.22 | I'm probably the only one who actually bothers with Lorde's 5s | JohnnyoftheWell
04.07.22 | Oh goodness wines u SET ME UP for those two! Love this!!
Time for Boney | Pikazilla
04.07.22 | "Okay just nuked my 5s over 100 of them are gone. Used to be over 300 5s now it is less than 200. "
weakness disgusts me | Demon of the Fall
04.07.22 | 'DROP: Still Life, A Dawn to Fear, The Eye of Every Storm
BUMP: Low, At Action Park, one of Blue Lines and Daydream Nation'
Did, then bumped it back up - 3 of 3 Opeth 5s so maybe. Would consider Dawn in the future, 3 of 3 Cult. No way Jose.
I don't see any of those in the higher echelons of my 4.5 realm with maybe the wildcard being Daydream, as its currently the only one with a strong upward trajectory that POSSIBLY hasn't peaked | theBoneyKing
04.07.22 | Thank you for appropriately eviscerating my basic bitch indie 5s. I know what I am and I am it shamelessly. | JohnnyoftheWell
04.07.22 | You are so much more than that, and I wanna eatchu
And Demon mmmhm I mean I purrsonally wouldn't 5 those either (actually maybe also Daydream lol), but does this stop them from being the 5s you need? Huh | Pangea
04.07.22 | johnny i think i know my supposed drops, but what albums do you recommend me to bump | Storm In A Teacup
04.07.22 | Um excuse the f outta me pikabitch but I ain’t havin weakness I’m stronger than ever | Havey
04.07.22 | https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1057313
celestiabody ? | Demon of the Fall
04.07.22 | I actually might benefit from a 1.5x increase in 5s for added variety
...could battle royale all my 4.5s off against each other in a winner takes all tournament, which seems like effort but also fun? Structured planned rigid fun... because I am a serious Demon as outlined above | Pheromone
04.07.22 | everyone quick 5 carissa's wierd | Demon of the Fall
04.07.22 | now here's a guy who needs to live a little and 5 more shit | Pheromone
04.07.22 | brb 5ing black keys | fogza
04.07.22 | i dunno why we're focusing on 5's, obs this whole thing should have been about 4.5's. much more relaxed, natural space without all the pressure | MiloRuggles
04.07.22 | MiloRuggles: https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/MiloRuggles
Johnny sits hunched over his battered phone, flicking through tab after tab of user ratings, unimpressed to the point of despondency when something passing by on the Sushi Train conveyor draws his gaze up from the screen.
He had made sure to buy every last California Sushi Roll in the place, and yet there it was - another one. This wouldn't do. He was full, but he knew he'd be less satisfied with his meal in those restless hours of cogitation that always precluded his entrance into noddyland, and lie restlessly through a deep, dark night.
He lunged across the table next to him, knocking a precariously piled Uramaki from the shaking chopsticks of a patron before it reached his mouth, and secured what was surely the store's final California Roll. Once post-lunge apologies had been made and accepted, calm descended upon Johnny once more.
One deep breath later, he is buried in the forums again. Before him lie an array of 5s. Sputcore abounds; Program Music I makes an appearance, Kayo Dot score a brace, and ISIS can't possibly be that good.
Wait - are ISIS that good? They were, right? Johnny knew the truth of it: they /were/ good, then Johnny grew up, developed social skills, learned the art of subtlety, and found new hope for humanity in the purity of original and carefree Expression. ISIS' tango with Expression was brief — Johnny's swears he can hear Aaron arguing abstractedly with the band with every counterpointed lead part he was forced into playing.
Milo is a naive simpleton.
VERDICT: 1/5 a lot of people like these albums, and you're supposed to be better than this.
DROP: all the dad rock
BUMP: Sunbather
| Storm In A Teacup
04.07.22 | “developed social skills”
🧐🧐🧐 whoooaoaaaa let’s not get cuhrazay | Dedes
04.07.22 | @fogza
Was anyone supposed to take the idea of "constructive criticism for better 5s" seriously? I'd like to think it's all a bigger part of the meme caricature otherwise Johnny and this whole site are so terribly lost.
I will repeat the mantra-5 everything. 1 nothing. | Demon of the Fall
04.07.22 | 1.0 Nothing by Meshuggah, yes agreed
and yeah no-one is actually taking it seriously, all part of the game. I wanted to know how Johnny thinks I can improve my shitty taste, but I'm also not really listening / well aware it is all very silly | Dedes
04.07.22 | You attempted to trigger me with that Meshuggah statement but you are the fool-i do not much enjoy Meshuggah! Aha!
On another note that's what I figured, it's all for the amusement. I take great pride in my 5s and the fact they are 49 percent basic sput meathead classics 49 percent melodic baby Metal and 2 percent RYM core. | fogza
04.07.22 | Lol dedes I just think 4.5's make for a much more fun initial meme user profile. Like if this was a caricature, 5's would be the enormous nose and 4.5's would be the pencil thin moustache | Demon of the Fall
04.07.22 | my 4.5s could possibly fare better in Johnny's bizarro world
some people have so many his brain might implode, this would unfortunately be very sad as the data would then be rendered unreadable | fogza
04.07.22 | he could just take a sample, like a diligent salinity tester.
I think I'd prefer to be rated on my 4.5's, less grunge hangover. | Ryus
04.07.22 | "being into Thrice in 2022 is like being into the Eagles in 2003 sorry"
kompys spittin facts | JohnnyoftheWell
04.07.22 | they are the best experimental band | fogza
04.07.22 | what is experimental though? is radiohead experimental? | Storm In A Teacup
04.07.22 | No I am the best experimental band. | tectactoe
04.07.22 | OK I'll bite, let's do dis. | Pheromone
04.07.22 | johnny is outsourcing this writing exercise to three unpaid interns on a j-pop discord he moderates | Demon of the Fall
04.07.22 | there is an overpowering stench of weeb emanating from this
hang on, what was the question again? oh | Demon of the Fall
04.07.22 | was looking forward to Jaq's, predicted carnage and it did not disappoint | deathofasalesman
04.07.22 | I actually assumed a much lower rating and was pleasantly surprised with all the surprisingly pleasant adjectives you attributed to mine. Never gonna drop that Bleach 5 tho ;] | TVC15
04.07.22 | me | theBoneyKing
04.07.22 | No way are classic rock and Rush a step up from country 😤 | someone
04.07.22 | okay, do me, if you dare | Sunnyvale
04.07.22 | I feel moderately roasted, well done.
@Boney, I put Rush and country on a similar tier, both great! | Demon of the Fall
04.07.22 | similar tier (2), they’re both bad | Dedes
04.07.22 | Rush slap you dirty little oaf
| ArsMoriendi
04.07.22 | Rush might worst major 70s prog band | ReefaJones
04.07.22 | Do mine | Dylan620
04.07.22 | Ready to be roasted over an open fire 🔥🍖 | JohnnyoftheWell
04.08.22 | updated thru to Dedes, plus patch notes for:
- Pangea
- Sunny
"No way are classic rock and Rush a step up from country 😤"
oops lemme restitch that sentence, they are indeed the same hence zero-sum game ALAS | TVC15
04.08.22 | Johnny you didn't do me | Dedes
04.08.22 | I'll do you
Uh
Haha wow I mean
Jesus I have a meeting to attend to! | MiloRuggles
04.08.22 | I feel lighter, thanks J time.
Absolutego, Oblivion Access, From Here We Go Sublime are fantastic picks for bumps and I shall chew this cud thoughtfully | Dedes
04.08.22 | Also @johnny tbf a lot of those soundoffs were from 5 years ago when I was just finding out that Tool wasn't the most woke thing to grace the planet.
And I 5d Waking the Fallen cause it slaps mega dick | Pon
04.08.22 | I didn't expect my 5s to have Johnny so shook tbh | Kompys2000
04.08.22 | Lol dropping ween is actually a bit tempting but if I do I'll make it a monkey's paw by finally 5ing a nu-metal album | JohnnyoftheWell
04.08.22 | Paha, that's been a long time coming tho, and you know it
No Pon 5 was individually unsettling, but seeing that whole grouping had me reaching and retching for every part of my keyboard that offered halitosis aversion pointers
| Gyromania
04.08.22 | Damn Dedes that's rough. Worried about mine now | anat
04.08.22 | thank you for the very correct assessment of a 5 😎 | Demon of the Fall
04.08.22 | who knew all I had to do was 5 3x Wild Beasts albums
I demand a recount | JohnnyoftheWell
04.08.22 | Oh damn okay I have never heard a Wild Beasts song is this compromising | Pangea
04.08.22 | oh thank you for the update!
alpe lusia, victorialand & maybe tomorrow in a year are serious contenters for bumps
m83 is like a 4.9 album, maybe drop. yndi halda + perfume genius are keepers though | Demon of the Fall
04.08.22 | personally I'd love to see a Tomorrow In A Year 5, not that this should influence your decision-making process (please do though).
Shaking is better but I just can't deny how unbelievably cool it would make you | fogza
04.08.22 | ok for ruining my SOTD ambitions, rate my 5's. my list will burn like garlic to johnny's cool vampire | Pangea
04.08.22 | haha it's a super cool album. It's one i rarely revist though
i can't really get into shaking, i have a weird relationship with the knife | Demon of the Fall
04.08.22 | dedex said similar, from memory
interesting | JohnnyoftheWell
04.08.22 | updote
and more updite nice 1 fogaz | fogza
04.08.22 | lmao it's a fair cop i suppose | JohnnyoftheWell
04.08.22 | oh fuck sorry I made a really bad typo when I trying to say a nice thing about you but my mind skipped, plz wait for me to get back to my laptop, rehack the character limit, and edit it, and then read it all again and be one word happier fuck sorry | Egarran
04.08.22 | I volunteer for being Jesper's strict parent. | JesperL
04.08.22 | i shall exclusively refer to you as 'daddy' from now on
omw to 5 some simple plan records now | Egarran
04.08.22 | wait no | Pheromone
04.08.22 | fogza and me sitting in a tree | fogza
04.08.22 | you'll have to help me down | Pheromone
04.08.22 | i didn't think about how to get down this is a very high tree | JohnnyoftheWell
04.08.22 | fogza typo saved we are saved | fogza
04.08.22 | Nothing I respect more than obsessive 1 word tinkering | JohnnyoftheWell
04.08.22 | it was the most flattering word in that bloc :[ | tectactoe
04.08.22 | I am braced for disappointment | fogza
04.08.22 | btw round of applause for all this excellent entertainment, it must be hard work writing all this stuff | Storm In A Teacup
04.08.22 | Damn I smashed this. 🥰🥰🥰 | anat
04.08.22 | demon are you slandering wild beasts? lmk | Cimnele
04.08.22 | the cyclotron kicking is well earned lol | Demon of the Fall
04.08.22 | 7k+ ratings / 5 x 5s, lol... and their average rating is 1.79!
At that point it almost doesn't matter which lucky albums make it, nothing can redeem you.
Having said this I now definitely want to check out the 'winners' for myself (minus The Dreaming, which I have already). Juju was on my radar. | parksungjoon
04.08.22 | lol cyclotron | someone
04.08.22 | hey no ajcollins bashing | JohnnyoftheWell
04.08.22 | Juju tbf is a colossal banger | GhandhiLion
04.08.22 | The Magic of Ju-Ju | Ryus
04.08.22 | if i were mod supreme i would banish ajcollins back to rym before he could post another goddamn soundoff | parksungjoon
04.08.22 | whats the difference between ajcollins, introu1 and charlopiano | Pheromone
04.08.22 | who are the latter two | parksungjoon
04.08.22 | more soundoff spammers | someone
04.08.22 | wait so what's wrong with ajcollins again? thought he's just a dedicated soundoff writer. some shady rym business i'm not aware of? | Ryus
04.08.22 | he goes against everything i stand for. he is a blight on this respectable music site | someone
04.08.22 | as in contributes constructive reasons for his ratings? | Ryus
04.08.22 | my favorite ajcollins soundoff:
"The major problem with albums like this is not that it is bad, it?s actually really good, but it?s way too long, and the flow by Nephew has nothing that good to it and can really boring after a while. After about the fifth or sixth song the same flow gets really deteriorating and really makes this album a chore to listen to. The saving grace is the beats are actually really solid across the board. So, it?s a decent listen, but you have to kind of come back and forth with it, not a good listening experience. "
its simultaneously
>not bad
>really good
>a chore to listen to
>decent listen
>not a good listening experience | parksungjoon
04.08.22 | lmao | parksungjoon
04.08.22 | markov chain word salad | normaloctagon
04.08.22 | "as in contributes constructive reasons for his ratings?"
stuff like this gives me a good chuckle, if you like writing soundoffs that's great and awesome and i love that for you but like cmon "constructive?" lol | Demon of the Fall
04.08.22 | reasons that make sense would do I guess
never bothered with the sound-off feature, I much prefer polluting every thread going with my ill-thought out ramblings. At least after a couple of years the thread will move onto the next page and all will be forgotten (without the need for a sneaky edit). | brainmelter
04.08.22 | awww :,) I fully expected my 5s to get gutted but all you said were nice things! i don’t have one of the best of anything but thank you very much mr.well | anat
04.08.22 | soundoffs should be for memes only | Sinternet
04.08.22 | dont forget ya boy | Masochist
04.08.22 | My 5s are super typical, but please feel free to give your opinion. | Gyromania
04.08.22 | "knew this already because I've tried to 5post it on numerous occasions but quickly backed down each time on double checking the contents heh"
Haha. Great write-up, cheers. It's funny because I actually just recently dropped my ratings for sound of silver and reconstruction site and it didn't sit well with me but I've played them to absolute death and just don't feel the same anymore. And yeah mezz and depression cherry should be 5s tbh, esp the latter for how often I go to bat for it lol. And I agree my 5s do lack a bit of identity as opposed to someone like Anat or yourself. It feels like a smorgasbord of Sput classics mixed in with a few obscure picks. Gotta update it a bit sometime | JohnnyoftheWell
04.09.22 | Ahhh hmm, yeah I can feel that for those two - let em stew as 4.5s for a while until they find you in your hour of need I guess (just wait until that coffee isn't even fking bitter anymore). I think if there's one universal takeaway from this, it's that we should all listen to our 5s more often lol - am probs gonna give mine a small shakeup after this is all over
will do ajcollins imminently, by popular request. who the fuck is pontius plate? | kkarron
04.09.22 | LOUD NOISES! | Trundle
04.09.22 | roast me! | Egarran
04.09.22 | Your post punk slice is already a good roast. | JohnnyoftheWell
04.09.22 | get out of your head bbq goat | someone
04.09.22 | Eggman trying to use post-punk as a point of roasting is hilarious. | JohnnyoftheWell
04.09.22 | he does his best
and so did you, updated boisomeone! | someone
04.09.22 | U make daddy proud, maboijohnny | Egarran
04.09.22 | What, are we pretending post punk isn't one of the most roastable genres?
Well sorry but it is. | JohnnyoftheWell
04.09.22 | continue breathing into the bag | Egarran
04.09.22 | I don't want to hurt someone either but truth will out. It's not like anyone ever said "Oh boy I wanna listen to some Cult!"
OK I guess Interpol has made a couple of nice songs. | anat
04.09.22 | is that as wide as your frame of reference goes, egg | Egarran
04.09.22 | Did you know you can check the pie slices for examples of the bands they have rated? So I pretty much know everything about post punk now, sorry to burst your little consternated bubble. | tectactoe
04.09.22 | Have I been…skipped?! | anat
04.09.22 | this town just full of webpost-punks | JohnnyoftheWell
04.09.22 | you have not but i shall now shun you for 4 minutes | Sinternet
04.09.22 | wait your turn you impatient bullfrog | dmathias52
04.09.22 | Hello is it too late to be roasted
I fully expect and welcome a 1/5 | Scheumke
04.09.22 | Ahh thanks for that fresh roast Johnny. Fully expected but still welcome and I enjoyed it :D | TVC15
04.09.22 | Best list idea tbh | normaloctagon
04.09.22 | Listen jotw i totally get that my 5s are intimidatingly good but you’re going to have to get around to it sooner or later so why not just make it now ykwim. Rip the band aid off | porcupinetheater
04.09.22 | R.I.P. the band aid | JohnnyoftheWell
04.10.22 | the eagle has landed | Ryus
04.10.22 | powerful words | normaloctagon
04.10.22 | Imagine my disappointment to read the phrase “the eagle has landed” only to scroll up and find that you have added a review for some other user’s 5s and not mine
I’m unsubscribing good day sir | TVC15
04.10.22 | Saltier than Long John Silvers rn | JohnnyoftheWell
04.10.22 | you are an octagon
you are not a stupid eagle
you are cringing me out right now please stop this!!! | Havey
04.10.22 | octa DROP Opeth BUMP Mariah Carey
easiest dropbump of my life | JohnnyoftheWell
04.10.22 | cannot disagree
updat | Flugmorph
04.10.22 | why do i get the feeling you're going to shit on mine. | someone
04.10.22 | "Oh boy I wanna listen to some Cult!"
i say that regularly. i would've converted more people onto my side were it not for black eyeliners having bad rash effects on my skin | Egarran
04.10.22 | I would like to apologize for my negative stance towards post punk. I realize I also like some boomer-friendly music. | AsleepInTheBack
04.10.22 | The riffs mask the pain, Johnny. The riffs mask the pain... | LeddSledd
04.11.22 | pretty accurate diagnosis, Jimmy. always had the feeling that the best 5's and favorites o' mine were yet to come. simply need to slip further to the brink of collapse to be truly enlightened
but I'm content with my slender handful for now | Storm In A Teacup
04.11.22 | i can only assume two explanations, it's like you people hadn't listened to 1,000 albums maybe 2,000 before age 15 or you just don't LOVE music | porcupinetheater
04.11.22 | Ledd 5 Noise Trail Immersion
Asleep 5 Noise Trail Immersion
Johnny uhhh bump thanks I feel perfectly diagnosed, perhaps terminally so | Demon of the Fall
04.11.22 | what would happen if I was to 5 Noise Trail Immersion? I do not think it would improve my taste
also, how would you calculate the net positive / negative effects of Symbology of Shelter vs Alphaville for promotion to 5-dom?
I'm counting on you | Flashmobba
04.11.22 | my feelings have been hurt :( | porcupinetheater
04.11.22 | @Demon
tbh im not sure, I have not 5d Noise Trail Immersion | parksungjoon
04.11.22 | pheromone or whoever asked
http://puu.sh/IU8m0/cd291a3099.png | JohnnyoftheWell
04.12.22 | woah
more | Demon of the Fall
04.12.22 | Eggy's is brutal
he might never recover | Trifolium
04.12.22 | Eggy always recovers. Also this quite possibly was what he was going for anyway. | Egarran
04.12.22 | Yeah this is what I would expect. Obviously not all people see the love in Johnny's apparent disdain. Glad to be included ❤
Woah, he told me to bump Bo Burnham! That I did not expect. But I am def considering it. | Demon of the Fall
04.12.22 | his drops for me were reasonable but I wasn't feeling the bumps, just not sure that's the sort of Demon I want to be
one to contemplate | Egarran
04.12.22 | His need for an Ayreon bump is highly suspicious though.
Wait.
Are some of these recommendations ironic?? | Demon of the Fall
04.12.22 | I think they are designed to make you into a more recognisable brand / to enrich your 'character development arc' or some shit...
pretty sure the quality of the release is not always relevant | JohnnyoftheWell
04.12.22 | they are recommendations for you, not necessarily things I would ever do. ayreon is easygoing tabletop energy and he is good at networking | Gnocchi
04.12.22 | Do me. | Egarran
04.12.22 | 🎵 There it is again, that funny feeling 🎵 | Conmaniac
04.13.22 | Hahah wow 3.5!! (Con 5) that’s way higher than expected……death is real but I haven’t listened to that crow album in awhile so u might be right.. | MiloRuggles
04.13.22 | Hello I do not have the time to parse this myself, so I think our resident professional is required to tell me which end is the head and which the tail: https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=757907 | JohnnyoftheWell
04.17.22 | was going to bail on this but then someone very anonymous made me unbail and now it will continue! update! | GhandhiLion
04.17.22 | oh damn pelt. very based | JohnnyoftheWell
04.17.22 | maybe
can more people comment please lol, think I'm starting to run out of names | parksungjoon
04.17.22 | https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/princyali
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/charlopiano
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/user/Introu1 | hal1ax
04.17.22 | thought provokiung stuff i must say | budgie
04.17.22 | why would anyonre wants johnnys opinon on musics | parksungjoon
04.17.22 | ha l1vez!! | JohnnyoftheWell
04.17.22 | not doing budgie thank you for your suggestion park | TVC15
04.17.22 | Bruh you did NOT hold bacc on Norma LOL | parksungjoon
04.17.22 | https://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/84677/Ramin-Djawadi-Game-of-Thrones-Season-8/ | Underflow
04.17.22 | rate me plz | Egarran
04.17.22 | Be the first of your friends to like this | normaloctagon
04.17.22 | I am dead thank you jotw thank you very much | parksungjoon
04.17.22 | its ok buddy your taste is better than 99.9% of the site | parksungjoon
04.17.22 | >badbois of high questionable intentions (Arghoslent, Dissection, Roger Waters)
this cracked me up lol | tectactoe
04.18.22 | i feel attacked.
then again, i asked for this… | Winesburgohio
04.18.22 | if u bump contra u won't be the only one tec, completely forgot about it but it's a 5 after all! | Dewinged
04.18.22 | Haha loved the beating johnny, pretty much on point.
In my defense though! I would say, a couple of months ago I considered going emeritus and went on a rampage getting rid of the 4.9s, 4.7s, etc so there was much undeserved bumping to 5, the list was smaller back then and things like Loveless were not a 5, but that's where we are now! ;) | Conmaniac
04.18.22 | “VERDICT: 3.5. It is the best rating.” Yes. | JohnnyoftheWell
04.24.22 | I am on a long ferry trip! This can get longer now (can't break the character limit though a l a s) | parksungjoon
04.24.22 | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL2Bgj-za5k | DoofDoof
04.24.22 | I'd say do me but I'd rather the full 5 list on RYM than the selection here...but either I guess.
Could be a minus rating from you :D | JohnnyoftheWell
04.24.22 | I could refer to neither¡! | CaliggyJack
04.24.22 | Try me if u dare johnny | DoofDoof
04.24.22 | Johnny - neither works too | Wildcardbitchesss
04.24.22 | kill me | JohnnyoftheWell
04.24.22 | Sorry park for cliffhanging yours, there will be an update! | parksungjoon
04.24.22 | i never had many more 5s
prob whats missing the most is some game soundtracks back when i was the only person to rate them lol | parksungjoon
04.24.22 | i could maybe drop another half of em idk | parksungjoon
04.24.22 | i guess squarepusher was the most unique if thats what u look for? back then i always had like 3 or 4 songs from fmwt regularly in play | TVC15
04.25.22 | Let's gooooooooooo 3.6666/5 thought I'd get smth lower m/ | Flugmorph
04.25.22 | oof, absolutely obliterated the man | parksungjoon
04.25.22 | I don't mind and he ain't wrong either. I've been thinking about it myself for some time too | AnimalsAsSummit
04.25.22 | Ed Rush and Optical - Wormhole | JohnnyoftheWell
04.25.22 | Heh yeah sorry park, something about that quadruple Floyd dump flipped a switch | Mort.
04.25.22 | good list | parksungjoon
04.25.22 | thats interesting, from my perspective ive always thought the basic bitch music fan starter pack only ever includes one pf album. like theres a lot of people who think dsotm is way better than the others, or wywh, or animals, and in some cases piper i guess... not to mention the ones who have only heard one or two of them in the first place :^)
i dont think its the best music and theres many valid reasons to argue its overrated, but it is by far the one that has been most important to me. so like if thats not a 5 then nothing is, i think | Flugmorph
04.25.22 | i think thinking about what constitutes a certain type of music listeners taste and applying that thinking to ones own taste to the point of obsession is kind of cringe. | parksungjoon
04.25.22 | agreed
for me its just what i think and how i feel about the music. never been anything else | AnimalsAsSummit
04.25.22 | My bad I misinterpreted this as you wanting our singular 5 album if we had to pick one. But by all means, you can review my other 5s :) | Mort.
04.25.22 | do me pls jonathon | Shemson
04.25.22 | Hit me up | parksungjoon
04.25.22 | do this one lol
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1138935 | ReefaJones
04.25.22 | did you just call me a basic bitch in the most elaborate way possible? 10/10 would read again | Demon of the Fall
04.25.22 | some proper roasts here, good update | Wildcardbitchesss
04.25.22 | yeah some of these are funny as hell, you’re on a roll johnny | onionbubs
04.25.22 | kept forgetting to volunteer myself for this highly esteemed list pls do me | parksungjoon
04.25.22 |
4.5 superb Introu1 | April 25th 22
5 minutes, its all it take to make this insane ep, cant be bad, 4,6/5
Bump | parksungjoon
04.25.22 |
4.0 excellent Introu1 | April 25th 22
i really like this band now, theres no punk that sound like them, insane 3,7/5r
Bump | parksungjoon
04.25.22 | http://puu.sh/IWRxy/b4c632cfb6.png | Dylan620
04.26.22 | Did not expect that praise - flattered, cheers Johnny :D | Pheromone
04.28.22 | do this guy
https://www.sputnikmusic.com/uservote.php?memberid=1284364
| parksungjoon
04.28.22 | just the negalterego of musichub | AmericanFlagAsh
04.28.22 | Do me just for the 1/5 | parksungjoon
05.03.22 | 4.5 superb charlopiano | May 3rd 22
uh yeah jazz
Bump
3.5 great Introu1 | November 16th 20
Overrated, the parts are not that good ( they are, but not has good has people say) but i can see why its a jazz classic.
Bump | Mort.
05.05.22 | when more pls | JohnnyoftheWell
05.05.22 | maybe today
maybe | Flugmorph
05.05.22 | please destroy my bussy | JohnnyoftheWell
05.23.22 | sinternet has been saved
who is next | Mort.
05.23.22 | i would say do me but my 5s are outdated as fuck and quite a few probs shouldnt be on there | parksungjoon
05.23.22 | wh o is masochist | Mort.
05.23.22 | actually looking at them my 5s are pretty accurate i got rid of the enter shikari and alexisonfire a while ago i guess | parksungjoon
05.23.22 | has anyone actually done what johnny has told them to here | Mort.
05.23.22 | that would be insanity park | parksungjoon
05.23.22 | would it? | JohnnyoftheWell
05.23.22 | My advice is the best advice, but the most important thing is that the owners of these awful lists feel a little bit worse about themselves. No action needs to be taken | parksungjoon
05.23.22 | no worries i had that covered before i even came here | Mort.
05.23.22 | guys what are your alt rock recs in the vein of polvo, chazez, hum and so on, and so on.
basically give me 90s alt rock | Mort.
05.23.22 | and obviously shiner!!!! shiner are maybe better than hum but im not sure | TVC15
05.23.22 | ^Check Failure, Nemo, The God Machine, Far, Swervedriver, Quicksand, and Narrow Head | Flugmorph
05.23.22 | nice update. obliterate me fam. | BaselineOOO
05.23.22 | Johnny dear, I read your locker note. When the raining stops please say you'll meet me here. At the school rooftop. After you're done with your nerdy lists. I'll wait for you. Whatever happened to all those carefree days? Our time might be over soon. Please don't fade away... No matter what I try you slip further away. :( | Egarran
05.23.22 | >has anyone actually done what johnny has told them to here
I raised my Bo Burnham rating
nothing happened | parksungjoon
05.23.22 | dang | Egarran
05.23.22 | not the first time he left me hanging | ArsMoriendi
05.23.22 | Mort listen to Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 - Strangers from the Universe | parksungjoon
05.23.22 | [2] | Mort.
05.23.22 | thanks for the recs guy, this is my list now | JohnnyoftheWell
05.27.22 | i'm tipsy here is tyler. | DadKungFu
05.27.22 | My comment got deleted so I missed out on this I guess? | parksungjoon
05.27.22 | ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc | JohnnyoftheWell
05.27.22 | o fuck shit sorry if that was me (i don't recall deleting anything of yours, but mistakes have been made). your list is exciting and i'll take a swing at it eventually i hope! | parksungjoon
05.27.22 | music isnt real 1 everything | Tyler.
05.27.22 | Thank you for the support! | Tyler.
05.27.22 | No soundoff citing your reasons for 5'ing Avenged Sevenfold? COWARD
lmao | parksungjoon
05.27.22 | avenged sevendust | TVC15
05.28.22 | "has anyone actually done what johnny has told them to here"
I've actually bumped up Sham Mirrors but not Johnny's other suggested bumps | Egarran
05.28.22 | JotW was obviously nicely drunk when he did tyler.
Good work still | Mort.
05.28.22 | literally crying right now cos you wont do me | JohnnyoftheWell
05.28.22 | i cannot do you so close to tyler without being losing a kidney sorry | Mort.
05.28.22 | being losing a kidney
mate we spracha da englash here speek propaly | JohnnyoftheWell
05.28.22 | shut up i will midrewriteway my sentences 100 times over for u | Mort.
05.28.22 | opinion on beastie boys, dont know if youve heard of them, very relevant group | JohnnyoftheWell
05.28.22 | um they're alright
i almost checked a full album on like 3 separate occasions and then didn't whoops | Mort.
05.28.22 | i just listened to pauls boutique
it was good
i could happily go a liftetime without hearing someone rap about 'girlies' tho | Pheromone
05.28.22 | do mort. | Mort.
05.28.22 | ill let u do me
uwu
kill me
back to slay the spire | Mort.
05.28.22 | also phero have you listened to shiner? go check lula divinia, its in the running for my next 5 | granitenotebook
05.28.22 | https://rateyourmusic.com/collection/arbitrary/r5.0
my sput ratings are very out of date. my b if you are done doing this I didn't read the comments | Mort.
05.28.22 | hes not done dont worry
but he will now do your ratings before mine out of spite | Egarran
05.28.22 | Yeah it's not pretty | JohnnyoftheWell
05.28.22 | "I didn't read the comments"
extremely based lol. i'm not done dw, but am also not gonna grind through in order anymore. will probs just do a few that jump out at me (which will be you!) every now and then :O | Ashen
06.01.22 | don't think I've ever interacted with you, Johnny, but the commentary is genuinely entertaining
cauterize my 5s, if you wish | loveisamixtape
06.01.22 | roast me | parksungjoon
06.06.22 | maybe siameezus is a 5 | parksungjoon
06.06.22 | one two three repeater | JohnnyoftheWell
06.06.22 | repetition >>>> | parksungjoon
06.06.22 | why yes i am a fan of minimalism | Mort.
06.06.22 | fugazi are overrated
but the argument is very good | parksungjoon
06.06.22 | filtered | Mort.
06.06.22 | do you ever think youll learn to speak in complete sentences again? | parksungjoon
06.06.22 | unlikely | JohnnyoftheWell
06.06.22 | filter
mort mostly correct | parksungjoon
06.06.22 | gefilter fish | parksungjoon
06.06.22 | marky muun is prob the most likely bump lol | Mort.
06.06.22 | johnny give me a ballpark of the years it will take for you to do my 5s | parksungjoon
06.18.22 | he,llo earth | Cimnele
06.18.22 | i was thinking about 5'ing a coal chamber album just to make entry #1 on this list look insane | parksungjoon
06.18.22 | BIG TRUCK
BIG TRUCK | Mort.
06.18.22 | big truck? | Egarran
06.18.22 | lol he's so random | DadKungFu
06.18.22 | THE BACKBONE OF THIS COUNTRY IS THE INDEPENDENT TRUCK | Mort.
06.18.22 | please sir i dont understand | JohnnyoftheWell
06.28.22 | updated
mort is next | Mort.
06.28.22 | honestly, i dont believe you | Mort.
06.28.22 | sr388 has enter shikari - take to the skies 5d, what a chad | JohnnyoftheWell
06.28.22 | absolute stallion!!!
mort is next | TVC15
06.28.22 | Mort sweep | Mort.
06.28.22 | mort sweep? huhhhhh | Masochist
06.28.22 | "wh o is masochist"
Hi, I'm Masochist.
Absolutely the most Sputnikiest 5's ever, agreed lol. Sputnik didn't create my music tastes, but it sure did inform them. A lot of those bands I found because of this place, but some just happen to fit--King Crimson and Johnny Cash were always favorites, and anything after 2013 (like Kendrick) was all me, but Devin Townsend, Killer Mike/RTJ, and Porcupine Tree would have never happened without Sput.
Hell, I'm listening to a Porcupine Tree album literally at this moment. Not even kidding. | CaliggyJack
06.28.22 | This is a fun list ngl | Mort.
07.17.22 | AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHENN WHEN WHEN WHEN johnny when johnny when johnny wheeeeeeen | SharkTooth
07.17.22 | @masochist bruh you don't even have Jane Doe in your ratings. Your 5s are automatically invalid in the "sputnikiest 5's" competition | JohnnyoftheWell
07.17.22 | updated | parksungjoon
07.17.22 | AAS has some based choices yea | Avagantamos
07.17.22 | AAS is a gem. be sure to check out his new Michael Jordan themed drum & bass EP | parksungjoon
07.17.22 | ur a gem | Mort.
07.17.22 | Johnny you smelly fuck | Mort.
07.17.22 | I can't believe you've done this | ArsMoriendi
07.17.22 | What should users 1-20 bump and drop | MarsKid
07.17.22 | My 5s are tailor made to be a 1/5 here
Although I'm also in the middle of reorganizing and reevaluating shit so who knows what stays and what goes | parksungjoon
07.17.22 | its ok | Dedes
07.17.22 | Get a ratings wipe and 5 every Linkin Park record | MarsKid
07.18.22 | Aye captain | AnimalsAsSummit
07.18.22 | “ AAS is a gem. be sure to check out his new Michael Jordan themed drum & bass EP” YES thank you
And thanks Johnny for the listen and shout. Insane album! | Koris
09.29.22 | I should probably bump my list now too, it's been a while | protokute
09.29.22 | do me | Jasdevi087
09.29.22 | go, you won't | Mort.
09.29.22 | thank you buddy i will stop botherig you now | Mort.
09.29.22 | 'But above all, does it actually maybe need a healthy top-up of the seething moshing cringing metalcore cronge that our good lad has done almost too good a job of almost suppressing? '
lol like 3-4 of the bands/albums you suggested bumping were previous 5s. i culled my past self sir
'but can he tell you where old Mort. ends and nu-Mort. begins? He's painfully aware of the divide, but fumbles when it comes to pinpointing it.'
painfully accurate
| evilford
09.29.22 | Do me, I guess | evilford
09.29.22 | [Patiently awaiting the 2/5 way too much dm] | Mort.
09.29.22 | ill rate it ford
too much metal but the metal picks are good
few classic hip hops in there
some qotsa and ratm (showing your age)
some unexpected bowie and slint
basically you have extremely predictable taste apart from all the crazy death metal and some hip hop choices that surprised me but nothing embarassing
3.8/5
lean into the dm harder id respect you more
johnny this is my list now | Demon of the Fall
09.29.22 | Nice Mort write-up, I believe this has improved the selection by 7.3%
would adding Holy Vacants to my (probably already obsolete selection of) 5s improve me any?
| Mort.
09.29.22 | i just looked at your 5s and theres no hope bro sorry
nice always open mouth 5 as always tho | Demon of the Fall
09.29.22 | one of my oldest and firmest 5s for sure
and yeah I thought that may be the case, I just remember Johnny calling me too serious or something and thought the ridiculousness of that album may help me
I need to expand the selection by x2 (and cut a few) because honestly it doesn't make sense anymore, if it ever did | CalculatingInfinity
09.29.22 | The Mort arc finally ends.
Always re-read this list for a good laugh. | DadKungFu
09.29.22 | Alright we're back. Eviscerate my shit please | Pheromone
09.29.22 | i love mort i love mort i love mort
mort since when were u into american football | granitenotebook
09.29.22 | @johnny pick me (on rym) you are one of like five people on this website whose taste i respect | Mort.
09.29.22 | 'mort since when were u into american football'
since i got into skramz as a 15 year old which lead me to screamo/emo bands which led me to american football at some point
when i first joined sput i was super into screamo/emo. fav bands were Funeral diner, city of caterpillar, hot cross and portraits of past | evilford
09.29.22 | Hey cool thanks | Pheromone
09.29.22 | i knew u very well back then i never knew | Egarran
09.29.22 | >got into skramz as a 15 year old which lead me to screamo/emo bands which led me to american footballt
haha
nature is fascinating | AnimalsAsSummit
09.29.22 | Damn son nice work | granitenotebook
09.30.22 | https://rateyourmusic.com/~arbitrary here u go | protokute
10.01.22 | johnny you skipped me :( | DadKungFu
10.01.22 | Same but so it goes | AeniasGaming
10.01.22 | I'll gladly be judged if there's room | Josh D.
10.01.22 | If I don't get an entry, I will shit | evilford
10.01.22 | Hehee thanks Johnny:D | Jasdevi087
10.02.22 | so let me get this straight, this guy writes all that mess, 5's Souvlaki and doesn't even mention the Shrek 2 soundtrack? and he gets staff? what exactly does my tax money fund here? | claygurnz
10.02.22 | Judge me if you got the time bro | MarsKid
12.16.22 | Get back over here and judge the shit out of me | combustion07
12.16.22 | Rank my 5's mane! | MarsKid
12.16.22 | o ye | Demon of the Fall
12.16.22 | by next year's edition I'm gonna ace the (assumed) redux, I can feel it in me bowels
something to keep me going in life! | MarsKid
12.16.22 | Gotta purge the 'Peth mi amor | Demon of the Fall
12.16.22 | I already semi-purged, I cannot go further... and all I do is purge / keep forgetting to promote worthy successors | MarsKid
12.16.22 | You can always go further
5 everything | kalkwiese
12.16.22 | I am way too smart to comment on this shitty list lmao
Fuck | MarsKid
01.04.23 | I did not forget | MarsKid
01.04.23 | mmhmm ur in treble | Demon of the Fall
01.04.23 | I want you to do me again, but not until I'm fully prepared | MarsKid
01.04.23 | ayo? | MarsKid
01.04.23 | I smell a pt. ii | Demon of the Fall
01.04.23 | do me in March, it is all incorrect
things are brewing
I also smell | MarsKid
01.04.23 | is that an abstract haiku | Demon of the Fall
01.04.23 | no, but you are | MarsKid
01.04.23 | Boy do I at least feel like one |
|
