| AC/DC Highway To Hell | 2.5 |
| AC/DC Back In Black | 3.0 |
| Adema Adema | 1.0 |
| Against Me! Reinventing Axl Rose | 3.5 |
| Against Me! White Crosses | 3.5 |
| Against Me! Crime as Forgiven By | 4.0 |
| Against Me! As the Eternal Cowboy | 4.5 |
| Against Me! Against Me! | 5.0 |
| Ahmad Jamal Ahmad's Blues | 3.5 |
| Akron/Family Love Is Simple | 3.0 |
| Andy McKee Art of Motion | 3.0 |
| technically gifted, occasionally inspired. mostly boring. |
| Angels and Airwaves We Don't Need to Whisper | 1.5 |
| Aphex Twin ...I Care Because You Do | 3.5 |
| Arch Enemy Doomsday Machine | 2.0 |
| Architecture In Helsinki Fingers Crossed | 2.0 |
| Army Of The Pharaohs Ritual Of Battle | 3.0 |
| Art Blakey Moanin' | 4.5 |
| At the Gates The Red in the Sky Is Ours | 2.0 |
| At the Gates With Fear I Kiss the Burning Darkness | 3.0 |
| At the Gates Slaughter of the Soul | 3.5 |
| At the Gates Terminal Spirit Disease | 3.5 |
| At the Gates Suicidal Final Art | 4.0 |
| Battles Mirrored | 4.0 |
| Bela Fleck and The Flecktones Flight Of The Cosmic Hippo | 3.5 |
| Beulah The Coast is Never Clear | 4.0 |
| Black Label Society The Blessed Hellride | 1.5 |
| Bob Dylan Bringing It All Back Home | 4.0 |
| Bob Dylan Blonde on Blonde | 4.0 |
| Bob Dylan The Essential Bob Dylan | 4.0 |
| Bob Dylan Highway 61 Revisited | 5.0 |
| Bon Iver Blood Bank | 3.0 |
| Breaking Benjamin We Are Not Alone | 2.5 |
| Brian Eno Ambient 1: Music For Airports | 4.5 |
| Brian Eno Another Green World | 5.0 |
| Built to Spill Keep It Like a Secret | 4.0 |
| Cake Fashion Nugget | 3.5 |
| Can Future Days | 4.0 |
| Cannibal Corpse The Bleeding | 2.0 |
| Cannonball Adderley Somethin' Else | 4.5 |
| Cap'n Jazz Analphabetapolothology | 4.0 |
| Casino Versus Japan Whole Numbers Play the Basics | 2.5 |
| Choking Victim No Gods, No Managers | 3.5 |
| Christina Aguilera Christina Aguilera | 3.5 |
| Christina Aguilera Back to Basics | 3.5 |
| Cold War Kids Robbers and Cowards | 3.0 |
| Cradle of Filth Dusk... and Her Embrace | 3.5 |
| Cream Live At The Royal Albert Hall | 2.0 |
| Cream Goodbye | 3.5 |
| Cream Gold | 4.0 |
| Crystal Castles Crystal Castles | 2.0 |
| Cursive Mama, I'm Swollen | 2.5 |
| Cursive The Ugly Organ | 3.0 |
| Cursive Domestica | 4.5 |
| Cut Chemist The Audience's Listening | 2.0 |
| Dan Deacon Bromst | 3.5 |
| Darkest Hour Undoing Ruin | 2.5 |
| Def Leppard X | 2.0 |
| Def Leppard Pyromania | 3.0 |
| Deltron 3030 Deltron 3030 | 4.0 |
| Disturbed The Sickness | 2.0 |
| Disturbed Believe | 2.5 |
| DJ Shadow Endtroducing..... | 4.0 |
| Drowning Pool Sinner | 2.5 |
| Elliott Smith XO | 4.0 |
| Elliott Smith New Moon | 4.0 |
| Elliott Smith Elliott Smith | 4.5 |
| Elliott Smith Either/Or | 5.0 |
| Eluvium Copia | 4.0 |
| Eminem Encore | 2.5 |
| Eminem The Eminem Show | 3.5 |
| Emperor Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk | 3.5 |
| Evanescence Fallen | 3.5 |
| Explosions in the Sky The Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place | 3.5 |
| Ghostface Killah More Fish | 3.0 |
| Ghostface Killah Fishscale | 4.0 |
| Godspeed You! Black Emperor Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven | 4.5 |
| Green Day American Idiot | 2.0 |
| Green Day Dookie | 2.5 |
| Guns N' Roses Greatest Hits | 2.5 |
| GZA Liquid Swords | 5.0 |
| I'm From Barcelona Let Me Introduce My Friends | 2.5 |
| In Flames Clayman | 3.0 |
| Insane Clown Posse The Great Milenko | 1.0 |
| I can't think of a task more challenging than finding a musical group worse than this. If you can get past the utterly obnoxious and obviously inept rhymes (the kind that are thrown in there for a really cheap laugh or used simply because they rhyme), you find yourself faced with unoriginal beats, ridiculously stupid song concepts, and lyrics that any ten year old with a list of swear words and a Mortal Kombat video game could write. It's often said that simplicity sells, and Insane Clown Posse are the beacon of light that proves that theory correct. |
| Iron Butterfly In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida | 2.5 |
| Islands Return To The Sea | 3.5 |
| Jaga Jazzist What We Must | 4.0 |
| Jaga Jazzist A Livingroom Hush | 4.0 |
| Jeff Buckley Grace | 4.0 |
| John Cena and Tha Trademarc You Can't See Me | 1.5 |
| If you can believe it, I own a copy of this here.... erm, "album". And I think it gave me cancer. Now, you children know me. Nothing makes me happier than when a no-talent tv star moves his/her preferred medium to the music business in hopes of cashing in even more. But I just cannot allow this smarmy cockhole to go un-diatrabed. Remember those original beats and high-energy tracks the user above mentioned? I'm terribly sorry to be the wielder of this burden, but the fact of the matter is John Cena's innovative beats and frantic vocal style are nothing less than you'd expect from a man who makes his living by play-fighting on national television with dozens of other sweaty men in leotards. Now, even in extreme cases, a horrid album usually has at least one or two songs to half-heartedly pull the dead weight. Not here. Out of the seventeen concussion-inducing tracks on this travesty of an album, not one even makes you re-consider Cena's worth in the music industry. On the plus side, there's not much funnier than hearing John Cena belt out: Cena spittin with the Bump Bump Bump for the Knux Your whole crew gettin dumped dumped dumped with the chumps We rollin like Donald Trump Trump Trump with the bucks Your bitch-ass gettin jump jump jumped cause you suck Notice his subtle use of surrealism when referring to the targets "bitch ass". Impeccablly delivered, innovatively designed. Just like his stage presence. |
| John Martyn Solid Air | 4.5 |
| John Mayall Blues Breakers with Eric Clapton | 4.0 |
| John Vanderslice Cellar Door | 3.0 |
| Korn Take a Look in the Mirror | 1.0 |
| Korn Issues | 2.5 |
| Korn Korn | 3.0 |
| LCD Soundsystem LCD Soundsystem | 4.0 |
| Led Zeppelin Early Days/Latter Days | 2.5 |
| Led Zeppelin The Song Remains the Same | 2.5 |
| Led Zeppelin Coda | 3.0 |
| Led Zeppelin Led Zeppelin II | 3.0 |
| Led Zeppelin Led Zeppelin | 3.5 |
| I think it's an incredible album that demonstrates Page's genius not only as a guitarist, but as a producer, arranger, and a little as a kleptomaniac. Nevertheless, This is by far one of my all time favorites, and every track is a ten. So yeah. Buy it and stuff. |
| Led Zeppelin Presence | 3.5 |
| Led Zeppelin In Through the Out Door | 3.5 |
| Led Zeppelin Led Zeppelin IV | 4.0 |
| Led Zeppelin How the West Was Won | 4.0 |
| Led Zeppelin Led Zeppelin [DVD] | 4.0 |
| Led Zeppelin Led Zeppelin III | 4.5 |
| Led Zeppelin Physical Graffiti | 4.5 |
| Led Zeppelin Houses of the Holy | 5.0 |
| Leftover Crack Fuсk World Trade | 3.5 |
| Lit A Place In The Sun | 2.5 |
| Marilyn Manson Mechanical Animals | 1.5 |
| Marilyn Manson The Golden Age of Grotesque | 2.0 |
| Marilyn Manson Holy Wood | 2.5 |
| Matisyahu Shake Off the Dust...Arise | 4.0 |
| Metallica St. Anger | 1.5 |
| Metallica Ride the Lightning | 2.0 |
| With their second album, thrash titans Metallica began stumbling onto the path that would lead them to superstardom. Often viewed as sort of a rough draft of what would become Master of Puppets, Ride the Lightning features many similiarities to it's cohort. However, while it's counterpart offers up something worthy of a listen every now and again, here the group falls dismally short. Featuring slighty less pre-pubescent vocals and still-mediocre drumming, Ride the Lightning is truly average in every sense of the word. Offering up the same bland riffs and formats (most notably in Escape and Trapped Under Ice), Ride the Lightning only truly breaks away from it's painful monotony at the halfway point for Fade to Black and then again for the album closer Call of Ktulu. The rest, my pissed off and/or delighted readers, is merely bad. Ambitious, but bad. |
| Metallica Metallica | 2.0 |
| Metallica Kill 'Em All | 2.5 |
| Metallica Master of Puppets | 3.0 |
| Minutemen Double Nickels on the Dime | 4.5 |
| Mogwai Mogwai EP+2 | 3.5 |
| Mogwai Young Team | 4.0 |
| Mos Def Black on Both Sides | 4.0 |
| Mudvayne The Beginning of All Things to End | 1.5 |
| Mudvayne Lost and Found | 2.0 |
| Mudvayne The End of All Things to Come | 2.5 |
| Mudvayne L.D. 50 | 3.0 |
| N.W.A. Straight Outta Compton | 3.5 |
| Nas Illmatic | 4.0 |
| Neutral Milk Hotel Everything Is | 2.5 |
| Neutral Milk Hotel On Avery Island | 3.5 |
| Neutral Milk Hotel In the Aeroplane Over the Sea | 5.0 |
| Nick Drake Pink Moon | 4.5 |
| Nine Inch Nails With Teeth | 3.0 |
| Nirvana From the Muddy Banks of the Wishkah | 2.0 |
| Nirvana Incesticide | 2.5 |
| Nirvana MTV Unplugged in New York | 3.0 |
| Nirvana Nirvana | 3.0 |
| Nirvana Bleach | 3.5 |
| Nirvana Nevermind | 3.5 |
| Nirvana In Utero | 4.0 |
| NSYNC No Strings Attached | 3.0 |
| Off With Their Heads In Desolation | 3.0 |
| Ozzy Osbourne No Rest for the Wicked | 2.0 |
| Ozzy Osbourne No More Tears | 2.0 |
| Ozzy Osbourne Live at Budokan | 2.5 |
| Ozzy Osbourne Diary of a Madman | 2.5 |
| Ozzy Osbourne Blizzard of Ozz | 3.0 |
| Panda Bear Person Pitch | 3.0 |
| Pantera Vulgar Display of Power | 2.5 |
| Pavement Slanted and Enchanted | 3.5 |
| Pavement Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain | 4.0 |
| Pink Floyd The Piper at the Gates of Dawn | 2.5 |
| Pink Floyd The Dark Side of the Moon | 4.0 |
| Pink Floyd The Wall | 4.5 |
| Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here | 5.0 |
| Pixies Come On Pilgrim | 3.5 |
| Pixies Pixies Sell Out (DVD) | 4.0 |
| Pixies Doolittle | 4.5 |
| Pixies Surfer Rosa | 5.0 |
| Project Pat Mista Don't Play: Everythang's Workin | 2.0 |
| R. Kelly Trapped In The Closet (Chapters 1-12) | 1.5 |
| Rage Against the Machine The Battle of Los Angeles | 3.0 |
| Ratatat Classics | 3.5 |
| Ratatat Ratatat | 3.5 |
| Ratatat Ratatat Remixes Vol.1 | 4.0 |
| Red Hot Chili Peppers Live at Slane Castle | 2.5 |
| Red Hot Chili Peppers Stadium Arcadium | 2.5 |
| Red Hot Chili Peppers By the Way | 3.0 |
| Red Hot Chili Peppers Greatest Hits | 3.0 |
| Red Hot Chili Peppers Blood Sugar Sex Magik | 3.5 |
| Regina Spektor Begin To Hope | 3.5 |
| Regina Spektor Soviet Kitsch | 3.5 |
| Richard Youngs Sapphie | 4.5 |
| Say Anything ...Is a Real Boy | 4.0 |
| Seether Disclaimer | 2.5 |
| Shugo Tokumaru Port Entropy | 3.5 |
| Silversun Pickups Pikul | 3.0 |
| Silversun Pickups Carnavas | 4.0 |
| Simon and Garfunkel Bridge Over Troubled Water | 4.0 |
| Simon and Garfunkel Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme | 4.0 |
| Slayer Hell Awaits | 1.5 |
| Slayer Christ Illusion | 1.5 |
| Loud, fast, and of course, violent and angry. VANGRY. Yes, yes Slayer we are all aware of the usual gimmick. The question is, how is the music? And, somehow not surprisingly, the answer is bad. Very, very bad. Worst album of the year bad. Sure, the concept of a 9/11 song from a rather, different perspective is interesting, original, and entertaining, but even the shock value of that wears thin rather soon, leaving you with only the bland, dismal music, redeemed only very slightly by the likes of Catatonic and Skeleton Christ. Despite the group's vehement claims that they "never let down their fans or changed", this album is obviously a glaring contradiction to such a statement. But perhaps most pressing of all, the question has to be asked: After 20+ years, what's really that new with Satan? Surprisingly, not much. |
| Slayer Seasons in the Abyss | 2.0 |
| Slayer Show No Mercy | 2.0 |
| Slayer Reign in Blood | 2.5 |
| Slayer God Hates Us All | 2.5 |
| Slayer South of Heaven | 3.0 |
| Slayer Soundtrack to the Apocalypse | 3.0 |
| Smile Empty Soul Smile Empty Soul | 2.5 |
| Sonic Youth Daydream Nation | 4.0 |
| Soundtrack (Film) South Park (Original Soundtrack) | 4.5 |
| Stereophonics Language.Sex.Violence.Other? | 2.0 |
| Steve Miller Band Greatest Hits 1974-1978 | 3.5 |
| Steve Miller Band Young Hearts | 4.0 |
| Steve Reich Music for 18 Musicians | 5.0 |
| Sublime Sublime | 3.0 |
| Sublime 40 Oz. to Freedom | 3.5 |
| Sublime Second Hand Smoke | 3.5 |
| Sublime Robbin' the Hood | 4.0 |
| Sufjan Stevens Illinois | 3.5 |
| Sum 41 All Killer No Filler | 2.5 |
| System of a Down Hypnotize | 2.0 |
| System of a Down Mezmerize | 2.5 |
| System of a Down Toxicity | 3.0 |
| System of a Down System of a Down | 4.5 |
| System of a Down Steal This Album! | 4.5 |
| t.A.T.u. 200 km/H In The Wrong Lane | 4.0 |
| Taproot Blue-Sky Research | 2.0 |
| Taproot Gift | 2.0 |
| Taproot Welcome | 2.5 |
| The Avett Brothers I and Love and You | 3.5 |
| The Avett Brothers Emotionalism | 4.0 |
| The gentle folk-rock sound exuded throughout this album does little to mask the underlying punk aesthetic of the group, and the consistently energetic arrangements coupled with the subtle, evocative harmonies to be found on every track exemplifies their cultivated and nurtured pop sensibilities. Add to the mix a penchant for forlorn, love-oriented lyrics, and all these aspects combine to make this an album worthy of more accolades than I alone am capable of providing. rSo help me out, dawg. |
| The Beach Boys Pet Sounds | 5.0 |
| The Beatles Please Please Me | 3.0 |
| The Beatles Let It Be | 3.5 |
| The Beatles Anthology 1 | 3.5 |
| The Beatles Beatles for Sale | 3.5 |
| The Beatles Let It Be… Naked | 4.0 |
| The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour | 4.0 |
| The Beatles Help! | 4.0 |
| The Beatles 1967 – 1970 | 4.0 |
| The Beatles Revolver | 4.5 |
| If Sgt. Pepper was the album that changed the world, then Revolver is the album that set the stage. Aside from it's numerous historical perks, no other album in history has varied so much and held such a range of diversity. Songs like "Taxman" flex George Harrison's songwriting muscles while simultaneously slandering the government, and "Eleanor Rigby" is simply one of the most brilliant songs of the century. John Lennon is also in top form with the crawling, slightly sedated "I'm Only Sleeping" and of course, the psychedelic mantra of "Tomorrow Never Knows", while Paul McCartney shines with "Got To Get You Into My Life" and the aforementioned "Eleanor Rigby". Ranging from hard driving rock to baroque-esque piano pop, from motown-like hits to Indian romps, Revolver has got it all, and everything in between. Thanks LSD. |
| The Beatles A Hard Day's Night | 4.5 |
| The Beatles Abbey Road | 4.5 |
| The Beatles Rubber Soul | 5.0 |
| The Beatles The Beatles | 5.0 |
| The Beatles Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band | 5.0 |
| The Clash London Calling | 4.5 |
| The Decemberists Picaresque | 3.0 |
| The Decemberists Castaways and Cutouts | 3.0 |
| The Decemberists The Crane Wife | 3.5 |
| The Doors Absolutely Live | 3.5 |
| The Format Dog Problems | 4.0 |
| The Haunted Made Me Do It | 1.5 |
| The Haunted rEVOLVEr | 2.5 |
| The Haunted One Kill Wonder | 2.5 |
| The Haunted The Haunted | 3.0 |
| The Jimi Hendrix Experience Electric Ladyland | 2.5 |
| The National Boxer | 4.0 |
| The Olivia Tremor Control Music From The Unrealized Film Script | 4.0 |
| The Pogues If I Should Fall from Grace with God | 4.0 |
| The Postal Service Give Up | 3.0 |
| The Replacements Pleased To Meet Me | 3.5 |
| The Replacements Let It Be | 4.0 |
| The Rolling Stones Exile on Main St. | 2.5 |
| The Smiths The Queen Is Dead | 4.0 |
| The Unicorns The Unicorns 2014 | 3.0 |
| The Unicorns Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone? | 4.5 |
| The Zombies Odessey and Oracle | 4.0 |
| The Zydepunks ...and the streets will flow with whisky | 3.5 |
| Third Eye Blind Third Eye Blind | 3.5 |
| Three 6 Mafia Most Known Unknown | 3.0 |
| Three 6 Mafia Chapter 2: World Domination | 3.5 |
| Titus Andronicus The Monitor | 4.0 |
| Tom Waits Rain Dogs | 5.0 |
| Trust Company The Lonely Position of Neutral | 2.0 |
| Ultra Dolphins Mar | 2.5 |
| Unwound New Plastic Ideas | 3.5 |
| Van Halen Van Halen | 2.0 |
| Van Halen OU812 | 2.0 |
| Various Artists Hava Narghile | 3.0 |
| Vashti Bunyan Just Another Diamond Day | 4.5 |
| Weird Al Yankovic Poodle Hat | 4.0 |
| Wu-Tang Clan Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) | 4.5 |
