| | Full Review | Ratings (144) |
Give your Rating |
| 0.0 | Gypsy Swag Emeritus | April 2nd 12 |
welcome to the faggot world of riffoclock where everything is gay as fuck and shitty
33 Bumps | Bump |
| 2.5 average | KILL | April 2nd 12 |
years ago two parents went out to dinner a few hours later the babysitter called and asked if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids room. The dad said "get the kids out of the house and we'll call the police. We don't have a... clown statue." the clown was actually a killer that escaped from prison 10 years ago. If u don't post this on ten photos, the clown will be in your bed with a chainsaw in his hand at 3:00 am
25 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | RiffOClock | March 31st 12 |
welcome to the bm world of tyralexy where everything is fascinating
13 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | Shu | April 2nd 12 |
wellcome to the world of.. oh fuck it, Cannibal Corpse rules
11 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | admiral colonel wag CONTRIBUTOR | April 2nd 12 |
welcome to the world of riff o clock, who just really needs a great big hug
11 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | Dr. Luke Sarazine | April 2nd 12 |
welcome to the world of someguest where girls pretend to be in love with you and god exists(?)
8 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | Alex Robertson STAFF | April 2nd 12 |
you can go ahead and um skip this album haha
7 Bumps | Bump |
| 1.5 very poor | Sam Feldman | April 9th 12 |
umskipthis
god damn you alex robertson
4 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | Me(ta)l Gibson CONTRIBUTOR | April 2nd 12 |
All the pain in this world
Won't stop us now
For we have each other
All the hate in this world
Can't tear us apart
This love is forever
4 Bumps | Bump |
| 4.0 excellent | Waldo Jeffers | June 1st 12 |
The most musically varied Burzum release, without question. Varg's newfound drone and pagan metal influences both expand and vary the aural textures that make up this album's sonic palette, and help to make this the most atmospheric Burzum release since Filosofem; only at the cost of discarding nearly all of the BM elements. I have no problem with this however, since this risk paid off.
1 Bumps | Bump |
| 4.0 excellent | Azazel, He of the Twelve Wings | April 23rd 12 |
Uhh, holy shit, I never thought I'd say this but, this is actually really good. He's finally found a new sound that is actually kind of awesome.
1 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | HSThomas | April 14th 12 |
This is not the sound of Varg burning churches; this is the sound of Varg molesting children to the beat of a cat being raped by Lakes as he is sodomized by Satan and forced to suck on porch and qwe's dicks while simultaneously being beaten around by sonic with a welding mallet as he shouts 'RUSH FAGGOTS M/ M/ M/ M/' repeatedly two hundred times a minute as Geddy Lee sings falsetto in the background before Garm and John Haughm counter with their deep baritone singing which is so deep that it smites the head from Geddy Lee's shoulders and Stanley Clark and Alphonso Johnson noodle away in the background in celebration before RiffOClock enters and says 'why the fuck aren't u guys recording to casette anymore' to which Ire replies 'just smoke a j' to which Riff replies 'no it's not on casette' to which porch looks up and replies 'well if you don't like Fugazi your music taste is shit' to which qwe nods his head vigorously before pit barges in and says 'all a bunch of faggots die' and the image ceases and Varg heads back to his mixing deck only to look up to see MJ sitting on his table before he says 'well you didn't think it was all a fantasy did you?' and so the tale of how Varg made this album is brought to an end by KILL's skeletal hands and the world is happy once more... that is until the immortal threat of proggy and palace emerge yet again...
1 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | someguest | April 2nd 12 |
why isn't that woman on the horse naked? varg can't even keep up with his new trends.
1 Bumps | Bump |
| 1.5 very poor | DarkNoctus CONTRIBUTOR | March 31st 12 |
i like the concept of the album slowly and subtley dropping elements as the album progresses (or regresses, respectively) but none of the musical aspects are engaging enough to carry the momentum of the concept. this is the first time i've listened to a burzum album and genuinely not even remembered one riff, which was burzum's strongpoint. he's finally run himself dry.
1 Bumps | Bump |
| 3.5 great | HellxxTheHollow | September 5th 12 |
Burzum's stuff is always good. Varg does not disappoint here. Umskloshdolfsk or whatever it's called has a different style than previous Burzum albums, but it still has that spark that mr. torture racist killer nazi always brings to the table. BUY IT!
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| 0.0 | Eli Kleman STAFF | June 1st 12 |
Not a terrible record but fuck is it mostly boring...
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| 4.0 excellent | PropaneNightmares | May 29th 12 |
It's a bit pretentious, but I'm really starting to love this album.
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| 3.5 great | LokitheTrickster | May 26th 12 |
Varg writes a Norse folk album with the lyrics all taken from the poem Voluspa. It was interesting to hear it in the original Norse. Many of the songs are quite good, with songs 3, 6, 7, and 8 standing out the most. Song number 8 is very beautiful and tragic. It was my personal favorite overall. The album does drag a bit, but it is interesting nevertheless.
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| 2.0 poor | 666IMPF2112 | April 26th 12 |
Not necessarily bad, just not in any way interesting.
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| 4.0 excellent | Bradley Maness | April 6th 12 |
Y'all Euronymous' posting on a Varg Vikneres album.
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| 3.5 great | Brandon Scott | April 3rd 12 |
This album is actually really good, I don't know what you are being faggots about. Varg still shows he has plenty of spark left and compared to other modern black metal, this album actually stands out quite a bit. A return to grace for black metal's most controversial figure.
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| 0.0 | trilogique21 | April 3rd 12 |
god this is really bad. i don't know why anyone would want to listen to this.
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| 0.0 | bcwarlock4352 | April 2nd 12 |
This release did more for me musically than most black metal albums have in a while....I ralmost sense a classical vibe with the way its arranged and definitely in some of the guitar rphrasings and scales being used....and as for the vocals the spoken word and muted semi-rraspy vocals fit well,as it feels like poetry put to rmusic.
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| 3.0 good | Hawks | April 2nd 12 |
There's something about the fact that this album is kind of haunting that draws you in a little bit. It's really not a great (or even good) album by any means, but something about the atmosphere and weirdness makes it not suck completely. Don't expect anything like you've heard from Varg before because this is definitely his most, for lack of a better word, experimental album to date.
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| 0.0 | zaruyache | April 2nd 12 |
HE MADE ANOTHER ALBUM GUYS LOL BLACK METAL TRVVVVVVVE \\\mmmmmm//////
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| 2.5 average | endtell | March 31st 12 |
Boring. The atmosphere is dull, and Varg seriously needs to stop talking/doing clean vocals
or whatever. This might be worse than Hlidskjalf but better than Daudi Baldrs.
Bump |
| 4.0 excellent | Caelum | May 19th 13 |
| 3.5 great | E0N | May 1st 13 |
| 3.0 good | Artuma | April 18th 13 |
| 3.5 great | Pesty | March 31st 13 |
| 2.5 average | fox | January 13th 13 |
| 3.0 good | Deviant STAFF | November 29th 12 |
| 1.0 awful | Kronzo | November 21st 12 |
| 4.0 excellent | ppW | September 10th 12 |
| 4.0 excellent | Alastor | September 3rd 12 |
| 2.0 poor | Bleak | September 1st 12 |
| 2.5 average | PapaH | August 7th 12 |
| 1.5 very poor | idzk | July 10th 12 |
| 1.0 awful | espen | May 23rd 12 |
| 3.0 good | Niels | May 22nd 12 |
| 2.0 poor | Rail | May 19th 12 |
| 2.5 average | ctax | April 18th 12 |
| 3.5 great | alsid | April 12th 12 |
| 2.5 average | ot63 | April 4th 12 |
| 1.0 awful | Lambda | April 1st 12 |
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