Lou Reed and Metallica Lulu
1.4 Release Date: 2011
Tracklist

 Full ReviewRatings (780) Give your Rating

1.0 awfulPharoh | September 18th 11

Rip Metallica 1981-1988

40 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulIre | October 19th 11

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

34 Bumps | Bump

0.0 Treboris17 | October 20th 11

Dave Mustaine is laughing his ass off right now

17 Bumps | Bump

0.0 iReNiE the GeNie | October 19th 11

he is not the table

15 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulWaldo Jeffers | October 20th 11

The audio equivalent of eating a vanilla ice cream sundae with ketchup on top. For 90 minutes.

11 Bumps | Bump

0.0 HSThomas | October 19th 11

I AM THE TABLE!

10 Bumps | Bump

0.0 Rudy K. STAFF | October 19th 11

It's like no one has ever listened to Lou Reed before

9 Bumps | Bump

0.0 rob g | September 22nd 11

RIP Metallica 1981-1983

9 Bumps | Bump

1.5 very poorRobert Lowe CONTRIBUTOR | October 20th 11

Makes St. Anger look like a 1.5

8 Bumps | Bump

1.5 very poorInveigh | October 20th 11

if you say i'm not the table one more god damn time i swear i'm going to explode I AM THE
FUCKING TABLE


8 Bumps | Bump

5.0 classicAsoTamaki | October 19th 11

Metallica has once again proven that they can succeed at anything. This time, the radical shift in sound is due to an unlikely collaboration with legendary songwriter Lou Reed. Lulu chronicles the harsh realities of prostitution and the effect it has on the whore as well as those she encounters. Spanning the length of two discs, Lulu sees the relative aspects of love and morality pondered amidst a backdrop of heavy-hitting riffs. Topics including vulnerability and heartbreak are juxtaposed with harrowing depictions of violence and ugliness resulting in a profusely emotional listening experience.rMetallica provides not only their trademark metallic flourishes, but also experiments with more atmospheric compositions (as can be heard on "Cheat On Me"); adding new layers of depth to their already impressive repertoire. Reed pulls his weight by delivering the lines of his poetry with a unique conviction seldom heard in modern music. Never one to shy away from controversy, Reed also shines with his many thought provoking metaphors such as when he equates the force of a flesh-penetrating blade to that of a colored man's dick. Together, these two artists have combined to create a challenging recording which will no doubt be making an appearance on many year-end lists.

8 Bumps | Bump

0.0 Andrewffcc | September 22nd 11

RIP 1981-1993 2006-2011

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2.0 poorBigHans | October 20th 11

SPERMLESS LIKE A GIRL I AM ThE TABLET I AM ThE TABLE COME SEE IF THE ICE WILL MELT FOR YOU ICED HONEY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SMALL TOWN GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! PUKE MY GUTS UP AT YOUR FEET YOURE MORE MAN THAN I FRuS FRuS FRUS FRUSTRAITIONNNNNNNNNNNN-AH

6 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulCyan1d3 | October 19th 11

Literally a steaming pile of dog prostitute tail-waggling shit on a Metallitable.

6 Bumps | Bump

4.0 excellentIrving Tan STAFF | November 3rd 11

I take great pride in the fact that my rating single-handedly bumped this album's mean score from a 1.3 to a 1.4.

5 Bumps | Bump

2.0 poorKILL | October 20th 11

Now that the coast is clear, I'm moving out of here. It's time to disappear - with you, . to where the skies are blue. I want you by my side, don't look so mystified. You know I said I'd always take yo, throw silver spoons across the waves to you. Back when it a, I was your highway man. Now I've got a different plan For yo, with the stars above down on love beach. I'm gonna make lov, on love beach Make all your dreams come true, on love beach Gonna make love to you, on love beach Gonna make your dreams come true, on love beach Gonna make love to you, on love beach...,

5 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulSammy Girard | October 21st 11

Sounds like a bunch people from an old folks home that have come together to attempt rock band for the first time.

4 Bumps | Bump

2.0 poorMark Campbell | October 20th 11

Make no mistakes, this is an abortion of almost St. Anger levels, but the sad thing is that Metallica's contributions aren't bad at all. If this was an instrumental album, or even a proper Metallica record with actual singing and lyrics, it'd probably be a 3-3.5.

But then Lou Reed comes in with his atonal warbling artsy bullshit that makes you want to kick puppies, and you kinda wonder how in the fuck two cultural/musical icons responsible for some of the best albums ever recorded could have ever though this was a good idea.


4 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulNathan Flynn CONTRIBUTOR | October 20th 11

RIP Lou Reed 1968-1975

4 Bumps | Bump

0.0 Me(ta)l Gibson CONTRIBUTOR | October 22nd 11

Never one to shy away from controversy, Reed also shines with his many thought provoking metaphors such as when he equates the force of a flesh-penetrating blade to that of a colored man's dick.

3 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulJonathan Shannon (Astrel) | October 21st 11

This is the most penis-softening album of the century.

3 Bumps | Bump

0.0 rabbit | October 19th 11

soundoff page = bullshit

3 Bumps | Bump

1.5 very poorscissorlocked | October 19th 11

helps me defecate. instant classic.almost. doesn't work on constipation

3 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulScott Krasman | September 2nd 11

pioneers of country metal horns up m/m/m/m/m/m/

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0.0 Albus | February 20th 12

The thing that should not be.

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2.0 poorDays of Future Passed | October 21st 11

Metallica Machine Music?

2 Bumps | Bump

0.0 kangaroopoo | October 21st 11

"I AM THE TABLE" - James was actually quoting Lars but if Lars is the table then why isn't it in the kitchen? Order the Deluxe edition now for only $145 to get the answer along with many other bonus features, such as the full-bodied blow up Lulu doll, which for those with a certain kink, has detachable limbs.

2 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulVesper | October 20th 11

Elements of Metallica and Lou Reed combining to make something not quite as good as either!

2 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulJulien Loeper | October 19th 11

pretty fuckin terrible bro. i mean, st anger is better than this. Hard Jams shits all over these guys

2 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulzxlkho | October 19th 11

I still cannot believe that this album isn't some elaborate joke.

2 Bumps | Bump

0.0 ThrashRulesYourChode | February 6th 13

lol

1 Bumps | Bump

0.0 Wreath | May 20th 12

"Their anti-piracy tactics really works. Almost nobody is illegally downloading their last
album now." - Random Youtube comment.


1 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulType2Diabeetus | November 4th 11

............................What is this I don't even

1 Bumps | Bump

3.0 goodConor | November 2nd 11

Changed my mind. This album has somewhat clicked with me. I gave it a score above 3. Deal with it, Sputnik

1 Bumps | Bump

2.5 averagetom6 | October 21st 11

Surprisingly not horrible, just a little boring. The album is basically centered around Reed's lyrical concept,
with some quite nice soundscapes and trademark Metallica riffing as a backdrop - indeed, I'd call this a Lou
Reed album featuring Metallica. Which is a shame, because some of the riffs here could have amounted to
something, especially the one in Dragon. That would be fine, though, if the lyrics weren't so awfully
pretentious and repetitive, often sounding like some angsty teenager's tries at being artsy. Not to mention
the laughable vocal delivery. Really, does Lou Reed even listen to his own recordings? All in all, Lulu feels like
an unsuccessful experiment.

I should give it a lower rating but... I have to admit, the sheer strangeness of the thing is appealing,
somehow. I hated The View, but I can sing Reed's droning lyrics by heart. It's just so alien.
I sure hope Metallica tries some of this ambient stuff in their next album, as it really goes well with their riffs.


1 Bumps | Bump

1.0 awfulAskar S Imam CONTRIBUTOR | March 17th 13

WHAT DA FUQQQ IS THIS????!!!!! IS THIS EVEN A REAL THING??

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1.0 awfulRangerFan | February 6th 13

I heard this was supposed to be bad, but THIS bad.....!!!

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1.0 awfulGnFnRs87 | November 1st 12

Simply one of the worst pieces of shit ever shat out by a once-respected band and a once-respected artist. I wonder why the fuck Metallica allowed a rambling hobo to write lyrics for them and why Lou Reed decided to hire an uninspired has-been to collaborate with him. I simply cannot underestimate how steaming this turd is. Utter shit. Avoid like the fucking plague.

Bump

2.5 averageLani Parker | October 7th 12

Not as bad as people make it out to be, but the trolliness of it all does wear out its welcome after a few listens.

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1.0 awfulMegaJake1024 | September 3rd 12

Gotta be the worst and most disappointing album ever made by anybody half-decent. And Metallica is great. This just blows hard though.

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0.0 Gwynbleiddsfang | May 16th 12

"I am the Table"r............................ Okay.

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1.0 awfulBonRurgundy | April 7th 12

Either the best troll album ever, or Metallica should be ashamed of themselves for collaborating with this retard and his inane ramblings.

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1.0 awfulBaeleron | March 12th 12

Possibly the worst thing ever recorded. By anyone.

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1.0 awfulYetAnotherBrick | February 28th 12

There's coral, there's rocks, there's whale poo...and then there's Lulu.

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1.0 awfuljulien | February 5th 12

It's amazing to me that someone like Lou Reed listened to this and decided that it was something he was proud of and willing to share with the world. This album is sad more than anything else; a step down for both Metallica and Lou Reed.

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1.0 awfulTim Bartolini | January 31st 12

Regardless of the fact that this is mainly a Lou Read album and not a Metallica album, it's still really really bad.

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1.0 awfulVyndax | January 30th 12

Why can't I give this album a 0.5? It's worse than just "awful."

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1.0 awfulZilla2112 | January 12th 12

I'm sorry, but this is just awful. I didn't expect anything amazing from the odd collaboration between Lou Reed and Metallica, but I surely didn't expect this stinker. The riffs and songs themselves are good at best, and repetitive and uninspired at worst, but what ruins any chance of this album of being tolerable are Lou Reed's atrocious vocals. I would cut my legs and tits off when I think of this terrible excuse for an album.

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1.5 very poorDrunkenSailor | January 4th 12

Unfortunately for Metallica and Lou Reed, the Grampa Simpson parodies worked better than the originals. Better luck next time I guess...

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1.5 very poormetalspirit | December 22nd 11

It's clear that Metallica have tried something different here, like Linkin Park did with a thousand suns and Korn has just done with the path of totality. However, it is clear that it hasn't worked. Metallica have recently released a new EP called Beyond Magnetic. This is Metallica returning to the Heavy Metal stuff that everyone is familiar of.

Bump

2.0 poorRastapunk | December 12th 11

I have a hard time adjusting to Lou's voice but that's not the problem. Sometimes I feel like comon James, your turn it will make the song so much better, like on the 7 min Mistress Dread. I haven't listened to the 20mins Junior dad yet, but overall I give it a two, it deserves a little more music and a little less poetry. Some songs are OK though, not as bad as everyone says, but yeah this has nothing to do with any Metallica records, and the fans will hate it.

Bump

1.5 very poorThat Black Guy | November 23rd 11

Sad, Sad, sad. I'm a huge Metallica fan and even though I thought even the universally hated Load, Re-Load, and St. Anger had their moments, this has none. I could go on a long diatribe about how horrible this album is but everybody knows how horrible this album is by now. Sigh... Was hoping Metallica was taking a step in the right direction after Death Magnetic but they have shown all of their fans that they could give a shit if their music is good enough for their fans. Lou Reed's vocals are so bad I'm not even going to mention them. Hopefully Metallica and Lou Reed disappear if they plan on making more terrible music like this.

Bump

4.0 excellentJesus: version buddha 3.9 | November 19th 11

If you like Lou Reed, it's not a stretch that you'll like this album. But if you don't like Reed, yet like Metallica, you're probably not going to like this... That's because it is in no way a departure for Lou Reed. This sounds like a heavy metal Lou Reed album. And save for a few moments when James Hetfield's singing sounds more like yodeling than singing ("Small town gurrrl!"), this is a more than solid heavy metal Lou Reed album.

Bump

1.5 very poorpencils3 | November 15th 11

Please tell me why? P.S. I am writing this in arterial blood from the veins that this piece of drivel made me open.

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1.5 very poorsteadyriot | November 12th 11

This album is way Underrated. Sure its terrible, but

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1.5 very poorAdrian Hertzberg CONTRIBUTOR | November 5th 11

"Metal, Post Rock" wtf? where's the post-rock? this album is awful but not as bad as you're all making it out to be. Without Lou Reed's dreadfully out of place vocals this would be a solid 2.

Bump

3.0 goodKyokushinMaster | November 2nd 11

It's quite good, different but good. most people here who rate it too low are over reacting rcause its a half Metallica album and not it's Master of Puppets #2

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1.0 awfulAchilles32094 | October 27th 11

If you rated this pile of dog shit a 5 then you are either deaf or a Metallica fanboy.

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0.0 HorrorBusiness78 | October 24th 11

Embarrassingly bad on so many levels. St. Anger is amazing compared to this shit.

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0.0 admiral colonel wag CONTRIBUTOR | October 23rd 11

"Reed also shines with his many thought provoking metaphors such as when he equates the force of a flesh-penetrating blade to that of a colored man's dick."rThat sentence is better than this album

Bump

1.0 awfulsteef ward | October 22nd 11

waggle my ass like a dark prostitute coagulating heart...pumping blood...c'mon, james!

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1.0 awfulrokknroll4 | October 22nd 11

So I hear this sucks, I'm not gonna listen to it... but you know 1/5

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1.0 awfulMO | October 22nd 11

next

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1.0 awfulPJIII | October 21st 11

Fuck you guys who are saying that you're the table! You fools! I AM THE TABLE!

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1.0 awfulFilthyBorgir | October 21st 11

let's see if we can get a 1.2 as an average user base rating for this bitch!!!! bring on the 1s niggas!r

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1.0 awfulBlackLlama | October 21st 11

I know this get's said a lot, but this is literally the worst thing since the holocaust.

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1.0 awfulWillem Hattingh | October 21st 11

Metallica wanted to write an album worser than St. Anger... and that was when the man who made Metal Machine Music, Lou Reed, came to help... Seriously...

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1.0 awfulEpsilonJSTC | October 21st 11

From two of the greatest rock artists ever comes the worst collaboration of all time.

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0.0 charlie15 | October 20th 11

Should I even bother checking this out? Evidently not.

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1.5 very poorDaniel Smith | October 20th 11

Tom Green: YOU CAN'T HURT ME, NOT WITH MY CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEELLLLLMEEEEEEETTTTTTTTT

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1.0 awfulegadude | October 19th 11

can't even believe this album falls in the "Metal" section.

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2.0 poorJAXETA | October 19th 11

listened to the stream, its actually better than i thought... WAYYYYYYYY better

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0.0 AGuyIsWatchingYou | October 19th 11

Sometimes I think life is too much, I think I can't handle it. Anyway today I was on the edge, I was about to jump. But all of a sudden, I heard it! Lou Reed dying. I couldn't kill myself after this, nobody should be put through Lou's pain and suffering. These sounds were recorded and set to music made by recycling Metallica riffs. They were officially released, the album was titled: Lulu.

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1.0 awfulRyan Thompson | October 19th 11

This is the worst album I've ever heard, no album deserves a 1 more than this

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1.0 awfulMark James Irwin | October 18th 11

This should have been an instrumental album. Or at least a rushed Metallica album to properly prepare everyone for the next true Metallica record. An EP, something, anything that didn't have some fucking old coot trying to prove what little relevance he had left in the industry by leaching off of a band who has accomplished more than he ever will. In other words, Lou Reed is FUCKING TERRIBLE. His vocals are irritating and painful, and his lyrics are horrible. There's no art behind what he has to say, it's just senile poetry. But the music is good, albeit repetitive in some areas. That's why I'm hoping for an instrumental release, because I really, really, REALLY hate Lou Reed. Fuck you for trying to drag Metallica down to your level, you old fuck. Go back to making your shitty guitar feedback albums. Yeah I mad.

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1.0 awfulhold dat meat in yo chest | September 30th 11

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