| | Full Review | Ratings (755) |
Give your Rating |
| 2.9 good | Xenophanes EMERITUS | April 19th 18 |
Me: You can’t make a worse cover than “The Thirteenth Step”
A Perfect Circle: Hold my beer.
13 Bumps | Bump |
| 3.7 great | Benjamin Kuettel EMERITUS | April 19th 18 |
A compelling, well made rock album that sounds timely and contains enough diverse compositional elements to be one of the finest albums of the year so far.
6 Bumps | Bump |
| 1.0 awful | butcherboy | February 7th 18 |
53 years old.. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!
5 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | someguest | February 7th 18 |
elephant? that's a motherfucking octopuscifer
5 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | Your Favorite Lurker | April 21st 18 |
if you think this album is disappointing just wait til the new tool album is finally released.
3 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | Cosmopath | April 20th 18 |
People think this is actually good..? Like, are my ears broken or something? This was painful to
listen to my god
3 Bumps | Bump |
| 2.0 poor | BrushedRed | April 20th 18 |
Emotive for theatre geeks
3 Bumps | Bump |
| 2.5 average | Fearlessflyer1986 | April 20th 18 |
Yawn. Every song sounds the same with the exception of Hourglass, Dolphins, and Get The Lead Out... and that isn't saying much. What a slog of an album.
3 Bumps | Bump |
| 2.0 poor | JJKeys | April 19th 18 |
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
3 Bumps | Bump |
| 1.5 very poor | froghawk | October 3rd 18 |
-I love moody APC. Thirteenth Step is my favorite record they put out. This record,
despite its mellowness, is not moody - instead, it's a dull midtempo slog. The occasional
rocking moments don't even work thanks to a sloppy mix and bad tones.
-I really miss Josh Freese. The drums sounds aren't great, and many of the grooves are
much clunkier than usual. Billy can't even remember which session drummer played on which
song, which demonstrates an incredible lack of investment in the project on his part.
-The production is inconsistent to the point that some songs sound like they were pulled
off a different record (for instance, Delicious is much brighter than the rest and
actually has punchy drums). It makes the album feel unfinished.
-Billy plays more keyboards than guitar here, and his sound libraries aren't great. It
gives the record a cheap feel. Plus he's just not a very interesting keyboardist.
-I'm not sure what could be more ironic than listening to Maynard rant about kids these
days and the evils of technology while his voice here is more autotuned than a Taylor
Swift record. The lyrics are beyond insufferable get-off-my-lawn rants alternated with
more tired rants against the religious right. This guy has nothing left to say.
-Yikes, that cover.
The only positive thing I can say is that Feathers is a decent song that has some real
feeling in it, assuming you can look past the blatant tuning and the fact that it's
rather recycled.
2 Bumps | Bump |
| 2.0 poor | Sine | February 7th 18 |
Damn the singles aren't very engaging or fresh unfortunately. Kinda predictable in its pop/rock mannerisms.
2 Bumps | Bump |
| 2.0 poor | diatribes | April 20th 18 |
Mer De Noms and Thirteenth Step both supply some brilliantly moody and memorable moments carried by great rock/pop sensibilities. As a bit of a Maynard fanboy, I was eager but apprehensive entering Eat The Elephant. Between the god fucking awful album art, the lyrics, the directionless song structures, the forgettable melodies, this album was not worth the wait by any stretch.
1 Bumps | Bump |
| 2.5 average | Brendan Schroer EMERITUS | February 18th 18 |
The only elephant here is the elephant in the room that Tool's never gonna release another album. Pack it up, fellas
1 Bumps | Bump |
| 0.0 | Eons | February 7th 18 |
Stop hating or end up annihilated. You only get one warning.
1 Bumps | Bump |
| 4.5 superb | Toondude | February 7th 18 |
looks like somebody went through mommy's makeup again
1 Bumps | Bump |
| 3.5 great | davezillaMP3 | May 22nd 20 |
at a few points, it is trying way too hard to be weird and the album does decline with it's last 2 songs, but the middle of the album is pretty strong. Saying that about the middle of an album is actually quite rare too
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | d00stin | November 23rd 19 |
I guess 13th Step was lightning in a bottle. I would rather have never had another APC album then to have this. I haven't cringed so hard at lyrics in my life. Every song is just tacky as hell. Sounds like the diary of a high school emo kid who just discovered metaphors for the first time. Not one song idea is even interesting. I'm pissed at the fans for liking this. What the hell did you even like about the band's sound? Melodramatic minor key fluff? I always thought there was something deeper than that to APC. Throw in the most laughably goddamn awful artwork you've ever seen, and you got yourself a dumpster fire.
Bump |
| 1.5 very poor | H3rrMorbid | July 2nd 19 |
Changed from 1 to 1.5. "The Doomed" wasn't horrible, but the rest of the album belongs in a campfire. I don't rate based on album cover, but comments about it were quite accurate. The vocals aren't even that great, though everyone seems to think this guy is God.
Bump |
| 2.5 average | MasBarHigeuoris21 | April 28th 18 |
Man is this record boring. There are a few good songs on here but the rest of the album is sleep inducing.
Bump |
| 2.5 average | Britch2tiger | April 25th 18 |
Oh man, this is just TOO mellow for A Perfect Circle... And of course I'm going to hear this album from a prior record stethoscope 'cause the IDENTITY of this group was solidified by their first two records. Excluding eMOTIVe (for insert "creative" reason[s]), the airy elements of Thirteenth Step revealed the highlighted features toward making this album. However, the industrial elements were now nearly dissolved (ex: TalkTalk) leaving tracks that only laid on the outskirts of their metal elements which avid APC listeners of this band were familiar with (ex: Hourglass). On it's own, pros, lyrically creative (esp Disillusioned, TalkTalk, Feathers), and a pleasant listen, esp for those unfamiliar w/ Mr Keenan's prior works. Cons, well... This is an alternative rock album that COULD'VE been ("better") crafted from numerous other acts LONG prior before this album's inception. While this 14-year incubator is not bad of an album, it is FAR from being considered one of APC's (if not Mr. Keenan's) best works, but STILL better than eMOTIVe in various aspects.
Bump |
| 1.5 very poor | Risodo | April 23rd 18 |
Not being a fan of a band like A Perfect Circle is a real pleasure in this moment. I'm putting myself in the place of who really likes the sound of these guys... these same people who waited 14 years for a new album. The wait was long, and with it appeared the doubts. The lamentable cover art came to the public, and so, the music emerged. "Eat the Elephant" is another watershed in the band's discography. In my humble opinion, this is one of the biggest pieces of crap i've heard this year. I feel sorry for those who waited so long, it seems that sometimes Maynard James Keenan likes to insult his fans.
Bump |
| 3.5 great | Tw1ster | April 21st 18 |
I swear if someone ever pronounces delicious the way Maynard does on this album, I will instantly hate them. Album is a solid 3.5 for me, enjoyable but a bit long and a tad pretentious.
Bump |
| 3.5 great | BiscuitKnees | April 20th 18 |
I'm not sure about this one yet. On one hand, Maynard sounds gorgeous, and some ideas work great. There are some great songs on this album. On the other hand, too many ideas don't work at all! Its a slightly better eMOTIVe so far, but will give it a few more spins.
Bump |
| 3.5 great | AlexanderScotch | April 20th 18 |
So....Puscifer?rWell this makes me quite worried about Tools upcoming album.
Bump |
| 2.5 average | Amnesian | April 20th 18 |
Will give it a few more listens before settling on this but first impression incredibly dissappointed. All of the decent tracks were singles and the remainder of the album and its weird attempts at pop borders on embarassing.rClings on as the singles are decent tracks but seriously don't know what to think about the rest yet.
Bump |
| 1.5 very poor | Zeuzo | April 19th 18 |
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Bump |
| 3.5 great | cloakanddagger | April 19th 18 |
I like the COS summary that says this album is a mellow and weary-sounding record, seems fairly accurate to me. Long-time fans of APC will likely enjoy this, but it may not be the most accessible material for newcomers.
Bump |
| 3.0 good | Robert Garland STAFF | April 19th 18 |
Fits the bill for being okay. If only it didn?t reek of pretentious, self worship.
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | McMegaMountain | April 18th 18 |
Not nearly as bad as I was expecting, but still not great. A few good tracks, but shit-awful lyrics, and some questionable approaches to songs. Prefer the previous version of By and Down over this one too, kinda sounds like Billy is singing this one.
Bump |
| 1.0 awful | doofy | January 8th 24 |
| 3.5 great | bSmith | November 23rd 23 |
| 1.5 very poor | Blaidd | November 22nd 23 |
| 3.5 great | haley | May 31st 23 |
| 3.0 good | bc013 | March 21st 23 |
| 2.5 average | Timmy | January 18th 23 |
| 3.5 great | ZuZo | October 13th 22 |
| 3.0 good | altmjw | September 11th 22 |
| 4.0 excellent | unlog1c | August 26th 22 |
| 2.5 average | Matty CONTRIBUTOR | June 15th 22 |
| 3.5 great | benkim | March 15th 22 |
| 4.0 excellent | CarlosAG | February 11th 22 |
| 3.0 good | Thibs | December 21st 21 |
| 2.5 average | martalf | October 6th 21 |
| 4.0 excellent | DocBass | August 26th 21 |
| 3.5 great | Spag | July 28th 21 |
| 3.5 great | teo | July 2nd 21 |
| 4.5 superb | Adol | June 15th 21 |
| 2.0 poor | Byder | February 19th 21 |
| 3.5 great | CHINDI | February 15th 21 |
| 4.5 superb | Juuso | February 7th 21 |
| 2.5 average | h0rsie | January 18th 21 |
| 1.0 awful | Lassie | December 21st 20 |
| 4.0 excellent | eljonny | November 19th 20 |
| 5.0 classic | tysly | October 30th 20 |
| 3.5 great | Oddsy | October 8th 20 |
| 2.5 average | Skiiddz | September 25th 20 |
| 4.0 excellent | Loo98 | September 4th 20 |
| 4.5 superb | aalqui | July 20th 20 |
| 1.5 very poor | luetin | June 18th 20 |
| 4.0 excellent | Tooey | June 11th 20 |
| 4.0 excellent | Tim00w | May 18th 20 |
| 4.5 superb | Sowing STAFF | May 11th 20 |
| 4.5 superb | Eva | May 7th 20 |
| 2.5 average | Ranzki | May 1st 20 |
| 1.5 very poor | suturno | April 24th 20 |
| 4.0 excellent | cb123 | April 2nd 20 |
| 3.0 good | natef | January 15th 20 |
| 3.5 great | Thor | January 14th 20 |
| 3.0 good | Alexxx | November 26th 19 |
| 2.5 average | Wolfe | November 22nd 19 |
| 2.5 average | mEyck07 | November 19th 19 |
| 3.5 great | LOGOS | November 18th 19 |
| 4.0 excellent | lada | November 3rd 19 |
| 3.5 great | Hewitt | October 8th 19 |
| 4.5 superb | Brabiz | September 18th 19 |
| 3.5 great | gabez | September 17th 19 |
| 2.5 average | FakeOne | September 14th 19 |
| 3.5 great | TyLaw | September 10th 19 |
| 1.5 very poor | cvlts | September 9th 19 |
| 1.5 very poor | Mr Snrub | September 3rd 19 |
| 4.0 excellent | Skye09 | August 30th 19 |
| 4.0 excellent | Jaxer | August 23rd 19 |
| 2.0 poor | Wolfe | August 21st 19 |
| 3.0 good | valek | June 11th 19 |
| 3.5 great | josh | June 10th 19 |
| 3.0 good | nbats | May 29th 19 |
| 4.0 excellent | NickB | April 12th 19 |
| 3.5 great | wrax | March 10th 19 |
| 3.0 good | 2ool | February 8th 19 |
| 3.0 good | Djang0 | February 6th 19 |
| 2.5 average | Erwann S. EMERITUS | January 19th 19 |
| 1.5 very poor | xxm | January 14th 19 |
| 3.5 great | Krpa | December 31st 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | A.R.O. EMERITUS | December 24th 18 |
| 3.5 great | FLRTE | December 23rd 18 |
| 1.5 very poor | Dunpeal | December 19th 18 |
| 2.0 poor | MAN0 | December 7th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Verlix | November 5th 18 |
| 3.0 good | Coast | November 2nd 18 |
| 4.5 superb | pajak34 | October 10th 18 |
| 3.0 good | orakst | October 9th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | progsun | October 3rd 18 |
| 3.5 great | Akifexx | September 27th 18 |
| 3.0 good | Josh | September 22nd 18 |
| 1.0 awful | jayt851 | September 15th 18 |
| 3.5 great | Freedom | September 10th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | ThePhysy | September 7th 18 |
| 1.0 awful | ssak | September 3rd 18 |
| 1.5 very poor | kempokid | September 1st 18 |
| 3.5 great | d-503 | August 5th 18 |
| 4.5 superb | Radex | July 28th 18 |
| 3.0 good | Batou | July 24th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | AAHN | July 19th 18 |
| 2.5 average | Acole9 | July 16th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Host78 | July 1st 18 |
| 1.5 very poor | WillieD | June 23rd 18 |
| 3.5 great | ARTV | June 23rd 18 |
| 3.5 great | thawey | June 21st 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | igi78 | June 18th 18 |
| 5.0 classic | skeed | June 12th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Moraff | June 9th 18 |
| 3.5 great | Xurxo | June 2nd 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Nero | May 25th 18 |
| 3.5 great | mRA | May 20th 18 |
| 4.5 superb | ACVPV | May 14th 18 |
| 2.3 average | Trey STAFF | May 8th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | nadryv | May 7th 18 |
| 1.5 very poor | goy | May 4th 18 |
| 3.5 great | Aeri | May 2nd 18 |
| 2.0 poor | Vajs | May 1st 18 |
| 2.5 average | iGuter | May 1st 18 |
| 3.5 great | Gueero | April 30th 18 |
| 3.0 good | JDubb | April 29th 18 |
| 3.0 good | kfad95 | April 27th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | hsb | April 26th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Alex C. | April 25th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | vkristi | April 25th 18 |
| 2.5 average | wwf | April 25th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Brett W | April 25th 18 |
| 3.0 good | greg84 EMERITUS | April 24th 18 |
| 5.0 classic | GhostK | April 24th 18 |
| 2.5 average | Jeejee | April 24th 18 |
| 1.0 awful | rc239 | April 24th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Riziger | April 24th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | CutMan | April 23rd 18 |
| 2.0 poor | JS19 | April 23rd 18 |
| 1.5 very poor | Elynna | April 23rd 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Marci | April 23rd 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | wojodta | April 22nd 18 |
| 5.0 classic | rkuder | April 22nd 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Chapo | April 22nd 18 |
| 4.5 superb | Lalka | April 22nd 18 |
| 3.0 good | Spec | April 22nd 18 |
| 3.5 great | Titan | April 22nd 18 |
| 3.0 good | Nrap | April 22nd 18 |
| 3.0 good | Emo | April 21st 18 |
| 4.5 superb | tomr4 | April 21st 18 |
| 2.5 average | Daedus | April 21st 18 |
| 3.5 great | heck | April 20th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Valtair | April 20th 18 |
| 3.5 great | JWT155 | April 20th 18 |
| 3.5 great | gilly | April 20th 18 |
| 3.5 great | Macck | April 20th 18 |
| 3.5 great | jmh886 | April 20th 18 |
| 4.5 superb | coopj | April 20th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | felubra | April 20th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Kruppe | April 20th 18 |
| 1.5 very poor | ian b. | April 20th 18 |
| 3.0 good | Moge | April 20th 18 |
| 3.0 good | greg17 | April 20th 18 |
| 4.5 superb | toka | April 20th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | Rodstar | April 20th 18 |
| 4.5 superb | Simon K. STAFF | April 20th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | ctellee | April 20th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | max13x | April 19th 18 |
| 3.5 great | Juanpa | April 19th 18 |
| 3.5 great | Jan555 | April 17th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | boff | March 24th 18 |
| 5.0 classic | Dasher | February 15th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | djbytes | February 11th 18 |
| 4.0 excellent | C1ntReW | February 6th 18 |
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