| ||Full Review||Ratings (669)
||Give your Rating|
|1.0 awful||Jake Cole | June 22nd 08|
Hey there kids, have you been unable to fill that void in your heart you've had since Aaron Carter vanished into obscurity? Well, chin up, because the heavens have seen fit to mold an even more obnoxious little twerp who raps about grades and cell phones. Never mind the fact that he's singing about Supermanning that ho when the last time he saw a vagina is when he walked in on his parents having sex, Soulja Boy tells it like it is, man. If you liked "Crank That," you're in luck, every song on the album uses the same beats (you're supposed to sample OTHER people Soulja). It takes a special album to make me pine for the days of Vanilla Ice, and there's no better adjective to describe Soulja Boy's output than "special."
11 Bumps | Bump
|1.0 awful||6604 | October 11th 07|
The worst rap album to come out... EVER. This takes bad taste to new lows, i.e. pathetic, non-existant lyrics, shitty beats, and Mike Jones-esque name hollering that no one should give a damn about. The fact that this album sold more than one copy (or even got off the ground even) shows that the record labels don't give flying fuck about releasing good music anymore. It's money first, money last. Get paid Soulja Boy, get paid and laugh you fucker.
5 Bumps | Bump
|1.5 very poor||John weathered old reviewer Hanson EMERITUS | December 6th 07|
Crank That itself is catchy before it gets overplayed for you, as is Yahhh!, but besides that this is pretty bad stuff, I don't do it really. Yeah its meant to be mindless dance/driving music, but its really just horrible in every aspect besides perhaps the novelty.
3 Bumps | Bump
|1.0 awful||doug | July 21st 09|
Why did I listen to this? That is all
Your soundoff was too short, it has to be at least 50 characters
1 Bumps | Bump
|1.0 awful||dbcskeyboards | December 21st 08|
I don't know what people see in this kid. Lyrically he's not clever.
"My sidekick/My sidekick/My sidekick/My sidekick" or "I got me some bathing apes/I got me some bathing apes/I got me some bathing apes/I got me some bathing apes" or "She got a donk/She got a donk/She got a donk/She got a donk/"
Do those count as lyrics? That brings me to the next point: he's formulaic as ****. I listened to about three songs before I figured out exactly when the hook was coming, how long it was going to be, and what WORDS WERE GOING TO BE IN THE HOOK! Oh, boy... that's some true art for you.
Oh, and his flow. Well, let me just say that it's easy to have a precise flow when you can only belt out three rhythms: verse, chorus, and bridge. If I only knew one song, I could probably play it perfectly by now too.
People are gonna get on me now "but it's about the beats". His beats are stale. Because they're made with the worst instruments possible on FruityLoops, the bass doesn't come through and the CONSTANT steel drum sounds like smacking a dead cat on a trash can.
I even wondered if this was one of those albums that translates better live, then I couldn't possibly see it being done.
1 Bumps | Bump
|1.0 awful||TheBumbino | December 8th 08|
Does this even need an explanation!? This atrocity of an "album" just proves that main stream music can be terrible and still sell this is a true abomination to music anywhere!
1 Bumps | Bump
|1.0 awful||Jared Floryan | October 4th 14|
Just from this dude's image, I wasn't going to bother expecting material that was deep or meaningful; hell, the rest of you probably didn't care if the lyrics were the epitome of a Super Soaker shoved up Rip Torn's hairy rectum. God, were we all gravely mistaken when Souljaboytellem.com started rolling... Everyone here's pretty much summed up the album, so I'll be leaving this ironic statement: "I mean, I just seen you one day and I was like, 'That guy!' He's gonna make it, he's gonna make it"
|1.0 awful||Technetium | December 28th 13|
Absolute joke of a rapper. Can't believe I actually liked this when I was younger.
|1.0 awful||DecomposingHorse | September 23rd 13|
Alas, an uncreative variation on the concept of spraying an explosively deadly poisonous anal concoction of hot dogs and Kraft Dinner into an operational blender, and then distributing it across multiple Dixie cups that are decorated with bendy straws and umbrellas to be handed out amongst a classroom full of pure, beautiful, curious children for them to soak into their eardrums--an act which will prematurely shatter their fragile innocence.
Indeed, a completely obvious choice of an album to bash, although very deserving of whatever rocks get chucked at its tiring, apathy-inducing, inebriated qualities. There's nothing that this album has to offer; I don't even feel like giving my opinion on this hen's bruised hairy egg, because it doesn't inspire anything in me--not even wishes that the artist would have succeeded to some degree. I only really am aware for sure that it is truly poison. The mainstream enjoyment of music like this is how dumb people come into fruition. It is outstandingly bad because it is so entirely worthless, and has no purpose other than for corruption.
This is one of the first things that I am able to recall when I think of outstandingly awful music--and at that, it was some of the first outstandingly awful music I had ever been exposed to. This is precisely what you might hear on repeat inside the head of someone with the IQ of a stop sign. This is the worst thing ever created.
|1.5 very poor||Davey Boy STAFF | December 30th 12|
Under the pseudonym of Soulja Boy, Mississippi based rapper DeAndre Way delivers a master class in how to stretch 1 tune out to 14 tracks on 'Souljaboytellem.com'. With only the choral slogans (usually repeated ad nauseam) to distinguish each song, the 17 year old clearly has high schoolers in his sights, with everything from the beats to the lyrics being mind-numbingly simple. Kudos must be given to Way for self-producing most tracks & the record is in fact listenable (if overlong at 49 minutes)... But it's so infuriatingly repetitive that you have to wonder how on Earth this album sold 1 million copies! Recommended Tracks: Crank That & Don't Get Mad.
|1.0 awful||Christian Doboe | October 3rd 11|
I really thought this was just a viral video. Then I heard two more songs, and I thought it was a really viral video. Then I saw he had an album, and I laughed harder than ever.
|1.5 very poor||Brokencyde | July 30th 11|
You have to admit that at some point Soulja Boy was cool. You couldn't help but "Crank That". Just kidding.
|1.0 awful||Willem Hattingh | June 5th 11|
Compared to a huge amount of rappers, soulja boy is easily one of the worst.
|1.0 awful||MrBacon666 | March 20th 10|
Terrible. Every song sounds like a part of "Crank Dat". Seriously, Bathing Apes, Sidekick, Yah, and Soulja Girl all suck. In fact, the whole album sucks. I should make a review on YT for this trash.
|1.5 very poor||Bulldog | December 25th 09|
Apparently, Soulja Boy gets F's in school. He also gets F's in rap. A 49 minute fuckfest of tacky, minimalistic snap beats and braggery, Soujaboytellem.com, while catchy is a hip-hop wasteland. Soulja Boy manages not to do anything particularly well, but dance. He tells us how great he is, how much money he has, and how he gets hot women while not making anything about the presentation special. The appeal of Souljaboytellem.com is recognizable, you can dance to it and sing along with it, but unless you're 12 or a college girl, that's not very fun.
|1.0 awful||GenNarain | November 17th 09|
399th person to rate this a 1. SoUlLJAh BhoI TyeLLuM
|0.0 ||Eric | October 22nd 09|
have this many people actually LISTENED to the album? or did they just rate it badly off of a single and a few bad reviews and a horrible reputation?
|0.0 ||Matthew D. French | July 21st 09|
This is super gay. Let's be honest, when 'Crank That' is the best song on this record, you know there's a SERIOUS problem. Eat shit, Soulja Boy.
|0.0 ||djejew | June 17th 09|
I've never listened to this album and I never will but I can only assume it is the worst piece of shit garbage ever recorded.
|1.0 awful||lovelymelodies | February 16th 09|
As everyone knows this album just makes no sense. I mean in the song "Yahhh!" they say aboogedaba at one piont. WHAT!?! This song and whole album confuses me.
|1.0 awful||PureBlueSF | January 5th 09|
YAHHH BITCH YAHHH
The sad thing is, half of the kids in my school listen to Soulja Boy religiously, but those same kids are wiggers who will buy into any hip-hop garbage.
|0.0 ||Conor Mackie | August 8th 08|
12-year olds everywhere are doing the 'Crank That' dance and droning Soulja Boy's tedious lyrics along with it.One of the reasons I never want to have children is because all shitty music is aimed at them.Can I ever escape it?No but i can do the next best thing...naw maybe I should have one child,its bound to be uglier than i am so it'll be nice to know I'm not the ugliest human around for once...but getting back on topic-this record has to be a joke.It has to be,because it's not music.It can't be."Superman" a "ho"?Give me a break.I'd rather have my eyes gouged out and fed to me with Gerard Way's bleached hair than have to bear listening to this again.Last time I borrow a CD from my little cousin again that's for sure!
|0.0 ||Rhaegar | March 8th 08|
Hahahahahahahaha you sir are a retard if you buy this.
even though im only in high school and 95% everyones favorite rapper is lil wayne when this shit came out talking about "Crank That" i just shook my head how horrendous the state of mainstream hip hop was. oh i must admit its kinda catchy for very very very very little. then i just laugh when i saw people doing the dance to it how stupid they don't realize they are. i haven't listened to the album except for that and Yahhh! yeah im 1100000% percent sure rest is just as retarted.
|1.0 awful||SSBMboss | December 20th 07|
It's hard to see REAL musical crap. Usually, I NEVER, NEVER, NEVER say that an artist makes musical crap. Even my top hated songs. But this is musical crap. No. It isn't music. It's a teenshitty thing. I can say it 'cause I'm a teen. Sincerely, I cannot understand how some dudes can like it, I do not critize 'em, but argh. I like simple music, simple rhymes, as I love musical complexity, but this is no way music. Or at least as musical as a vacuum full of dog poo and cat hair. SSBM told ya.
|1.0 awful||xeuloca | December 6th 07|
A cover says a lot about the album inside especially with this one. Stupid wanna be gagnsta from the suburbs on the outside. Inside, the culmination of all the sewage that LA has to offer in sound form. Get a real job thats how you get paid and not have no make us suffer.
|1.0 awful||rentford | October 30th 07|
A horridly weak attempt even for it's genre. Years from now, if anyone at all still remembers Soulja Boy, it would be for his dance.
|1.0 awful||BAT | March 3rd 15|
|1.0 awful||Jed | November 5th 14|
|2.0 poor||Oranges. CONTRIBUTOR | October 4th 14|
|1.0 awful||Mercy | September 28th 14|
|1.0 awful||Conor | September 1st 14|
|1.0 awful||ADR | January 27th 14|
|1.0 awful||Qorx | January 16th 14|
|1.0 awful||Alaska | October 16th 13|
|1.0 awful||Suddy | October 9th 13|
|3.5 great||kroglor | September 28th 13|
|1.0 awful||Steph | July 9th 13|
|1.0 awful||slagun | March 7th 13|
|1.0 awful||Jack W. | February 19th 13|
|1.0 awful||G.M.B. | January 28th 13|
|5.0 classic||frowny | January 3rd 13|
|1.0 awful||Dask | December 16th 12|
|1.0 awful||Shukal | June 17th 12|
|1.0 awful||Mowgli | December 1st 11|
|1.0 awful||FrFRfr | November 10th 11|
|1.0 awful||endtell | September 27th 11|
|1.0 awful||SteveP | August 9th 11|
|1.0 awful||hughes | July 13th 11|
|1.0 awful||Ian A. | June 12th 11|
|1.0 awful||FearUs | April 30th 11|
|1.0 awful||Thane | January 16th 11|
|1.0 awful||Jase87 | October 30th 10|
|1.0 awful||MO | October 20th 10|
|1.0 awful||Flyboy | September 18th 10|
|1.0 awful||iemona | August 27th 10|
|1.0 awful||CutMan | July 24th 10|
|1.0 awful||Krow | July 22nd 10|
|1.0 awful||Baz360 | June 15th 10|
|1.0 awful||Loot | April 29th 10|
|1.0 awful||ryan | April 24th 10|
|1.5 very poor||Oceanus | April 20th 10|
|1.0 awful||SlyJak | April 19th 10|
|1.0 awful||Grog50 | April 2nd 10|
|1.0 awful||xDANKx | April 1st 10|
|1.0 awful||sLogan | March 31st 10|
|1.0 awful||Joel B. | February 27th 10|
|1.0 awful||Apoc93 | January 22nd 10|
|1.0 awful||James | January 9th 10|
|1.0 awful||adamf | December 31st 09|
|1.0 awful||ferrum | December 14th 09|
|1.0 awful||Ross22 | December 11th 09|
|1.5 very poor||sEby146 | December 11th 09|
|1.0 awful||sean q | November 15th 09|
|1.0 awful||pride | November 15th 09|
|1.0 awful||Shaun | October 18th 09|
|1.0 awful||Ricven | October 15th 09|
|1.0 awful||tgic | September 27th 09|
|1.5 very poor||yobruv | September 2nd 09|
|1.0 awful||durkl | August 31st 09|
|1.5 very poor||Andy | August 21st 09|
|1.0 awful||JONT | July 26th 09|
|1.0 awful||cv715 | July 7th 09|
|1.0 awful||1zero | June 9th 09|
|1.5 very poor||Jev17 | May 12th 09|
|1.0 awful||Bleak | May 4th 09|
|1.0 awful||SVIIB | May 1st 09|
|4.0 excellent||latifah | April 20th 09|
|1.0 awful||Wimplo | March 30th 09|
|1.0 awful||BSX | March 27th 09|
|1.0 awful||Henry | March 19th 09|
|1.0 awful||James | March 10th 09|
|1.0 awful||BKid | February 22nd 09|
|1.0 awful||Lelle | February 9th 09|
|1.0 awful||lglag | January 11th 09|
|1.0 awful||JAV | January 9th 09|
|1.0 awful||dugless | December 28th 08|
|1.0 awful||mazurov | December 15th 08|
|1.0 awful||Lordata | December 14th 08|
|1.0 awful||cjgone | December 11th 08|
|1.0 awful||steve | December 8th 08|
|1.0 awful||A.K. | November 27th 08|
|1.0 awful||Jackus | November 22nd 08|
|1.0 awful||tombits | November 19th 08|
|1.0 awful||koecim | October 28th 08|
|1.0 awful||dukes | October 23rd 08|
|1.0 awful||Wish | October 23rd 08|
|1.0 awful||Auldy | October 20th 08|
|1.0 awful||Groink | October 10th 08|
|1.0 awful||asrowe | September 28th 08|
|1.0 awful||ACM | September 27th 08|
|1.0 awful||Cody | September 25th 08|
|1.0 awful||Ire | September 21st 08|
|1.0 awful||Sconza | September 15th 08|
|5.0 classic||Sempel | July 19th 08|
|1.0 awful||Kehl | July 13th 08|
|1.0 awful||RJayZ | May 23rd 08|
|1.0 awful||TBart | May 20th 08|
|1.0 awful||aryar | May 14th 08|
|1.5 very poor||chad^ | May 5th 08|
|1.0 awful||Ohh | May 3rd 08|
|1.0 awful||Isak | April 15th 08|
|1.0 awful||Akira | March 21st 08|
|4.0 excellent||searl82 | February 22nd 08|
|1.0 awful||PattyT | February 22nd 08|
|1.0 awful||chris21 | February 11th 08|
|1.0 awful||MrHoot | December 29th 07|
|1.0 awful||Keelan H. EMERITUS | December 27th 07|
|1.0 awful||Steve | December 6th 07|
|1.0 awful||Kronzo | December 5th 07|
|1.0 awful||Matt | November 27th 07|
|1.0 awful||80vs90 | November 27th 07|
|1.0 awful||bigfave | November 26th 07|
|1.0 awful||Aaron | November 6th 07|
|1.5 very poor||curtman | November 4th 07|
|1.0 awful||Stepzi | October 24th 07|
|1.0 awful||Bruce | October 8th 07|
|1.0 awful||Skyler | October 3rd 07|
|2.0 poor||Rams | October 3rd 07|
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