Blended Puppies Blended Puppies EP

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Tracklist:
Prelude To Brutality
I Hate Pythagoras And His Stupid Theorem
R@WWWRRR!
Screaming At Cheese (In Tesco)
I Hate Really Long Tracks That Don't Fit Onto My 4GB iPod, So I'll Keep This Short... Of Course I'm Joking, I'm Sure You've Realized That By The Time You've Seen The Track Length...

Release Date: 2010

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4.0
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CrucifyTheInnocents USER (2 Reviews)

March 11th, 2010 | 25 replies | 1,931 views

Summary: BLENDED MOTHERF--KIN' PUPPIES!!!

0 of 3 thought this review was well written

Blended Puppies, a phrase that Barack Obama will one day shower upon America's young minds. A phrase that will shatter castles and burnt churches into tiny shards of destruction. A name that, one day, will be so significant, the nation of Russia will bow down to it's sheer brutality. A phrase that will be in a dictionary, with the definition: "Eccentric music for the bored teens of America". A phrase that will, one day, be said on live TV by Glen Benton and Matt *sigh* Heafy. Ladies and Gentlemen, my brother the failure, Blended Motherf--kin' Puppies!

Let me set the record straight. Blended Puppies are a grind - I mean - Parody Grind band, who enjoy taking the piss out of bands like Insect Warfare, Agoraphobic Nosebleed and Napalm Death. That's obvious straight away, just by looking at the song lengths via MySpace can you see that they are heavily influenced by Agoraphobic Nosebleed's Altered States Of America. Now, don't despair, because the Blended Puppies EP is a fun listen, in an apathetic way. Overall, it contains few riffs, although the riffs that are there are pretty tight and fairly immense. The drumming, or lack of it, should not annoy any one, because two tracks featuring grind drumming, courtesy of Jack who handles vocals, guitars, bass and drums.

So, it seems that Blended Puppies is a one man project, although they have another member, Yusuf, who handles the extra-complicated riffs and solos. The EP opens up with Prelude To Brutality, which is an eleven second long acoustic opening, before cutting straight in with I Hate Pythagoras And His Useless Theory, which lasts only seven seconds. The EP then continues in the same manner, although it really pulls out all the stops when you get to You Want Me To Date You? No Thanks, Honey, I'd Rather Burn My Eyes Out With Hot Coals. This is one of two tracks that feature the immense grind drumming, and is more instrumental than anything, as drums are the only instrument. Roses Dipped In The Blood Of A Violated Kitten follows on in the same manner, being instrumental again, featuring more intricate drumming.

The production is fairly poor, although it has been recorded straight onto Audacity. This may turn on fans of black metal or lo-fi recordings.

Overall, the album is a fun listen. It pokes chopsticks into the side of grindcore until it cries in a corner somewhere. The album is very experimental, with hints of minimalism and sections that will make you go "Wtf?!". And, besides, the whole EP is only two minutes long, so why not treat yourself to two minutes of pure lolage? What?! Microsoft Word doesn't recognize the word 'lolage'?

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