Bow Wow: I know what you're thinking. I'm just going to bury this album.
Well this album falls under the category of albums that get slammed without hearing a millisecond of it. The ones that we give 0's to without hearing. Well I figured "'Maybe some are actually good, maybe I'm in for a surprise and this album is decent." Well, I was very wrong. So If you thought I'd bury this album, you'd be exactly right.
Back when he was Lil' Bow Wow, he probably would've gotten a 1.5, because you know. Aww he's a little kid, and he's
Rapping, how adorable. But instead of being a gimmick for rich white kids, and 12 year old girls, he trys to establish himself as a real rapper.
So instead of standing out like a sore thumb in the rap game as the only Kid rapper with some type of existent street cred, he now sounds like every other cookie cutter, fad Southern rapper. But instead of being average, he is bad, because at least cookie cutter southern fad rappers write their lyrics, Bow Wow doesn't. Look at the cover of this album... He thinks he's Nas. He's even admitted that it's based on the ILLmatic cover. Someone needs to break it to this kid that he will never be on the same planet as Nas or any serious rapper. Honestly, Vanilla Ice is more respectable than him.
There are so many levels to why this album is terrible. So I will break them down one by one.
The "N" Word
Ya know. Ni
gga. Well, apperently Bow Wow just discovered the word right before he recorded the album, because he is tossing it around like a wigger by himself. It's really annoying how badly he abuses it. In "
Big Dreams", which he tries to summon his ghostwriter's ILLmatic songwriting mood, he attempts to tell a story about how Ghetto it was growing up in Columbus,Ohio, and how people who had bright futures ended up in Peril, well in stead, he just says ni
gga a bunch of times:
"
I knew this girl named Gina
that was a hell of a singer
and everybody fell in love
with her when they seen her
babygirl was on the verge
of signing a big deal
eighteen, and life looked so surreal
She was stuck wit a dude
that was all bad news
and all he ever did was give
baby the blues
but she was true to a nigga
do for a nigga
pop you and ya whole crew
for a nigga"
see what I mean, it's pathetic. And there are many other instances of this, but that is the most blatant one.
Production(Or Lack Thereof)
You'd think that at least, there would be some nice beats by all the great producers in the game, most fads just do that. But there's only one problem... Bow Wow was pretty much created by Jermaine Dupri, who happens to be one of the least respected people in hip-hop today. His big mouth has called out producers much better than him Such as Dr. Dre and Timbaland. So Bow Wow only has JD. And JD may be a clown, but he can make some nice tracks. He did great work on Mariah Carey's Latest effort. Well, apparently JD ran out of juice, because the Beats on here a bland, formulaic, and repetitive.
On the Album Opener
Do You has such a bad rip off of a Just Blaze song it's hilarious. Listen to The Ruler's Back by Jay-Z and this and you'll get it.
On
B.O.W. sounds like a rip off of a minimalistic Neptunes beat (a-la Clipse - Grindin')
On the previously mentioned
Big Dreams, there is a horribly elementary beat. Sounds like a music box, and a horrible drum beat, like the kind of beat that you'd here a 15 Year Old making on a drum machine at a music store.
But the worst Beat (As well as the worst song on the album) goes to
Caviar when I heard it I was in disbelief, it seems like a 3 second loop of a horribly confusing beat. After the song was done I replayed it and skimmed through the song, the beat honestly didn't change as I sifted through the time.
Guest Appearences
Jermaine Dupri, Snoop Dogg, Ciara. Those can actually make your album better with their appearances. JD can if he shuts up and makes music instead of shouting "YO" and "UH-HUH" after every 2 sentences, Snoop Dogg is an old man and predictable, but he can still give you nice a nice verse to get the song noticed. and Ciara can help make a nice and catchy radio track. Well, none of them help Bow Wow.
Well, if 3 ok guests don't help, imagine adding 2 horrible guests to your album: Omarion, who automatically turns any song into a mating call for girls in the 6th grade, and J-Kwon, who had 1 hit 2 years ago but has done nothing since. Well, they do the album justice, horrible guests for a horrible album. Hey Bow Wow, it could have been worse, you could've had Nelly and Paul Wall instead.
The one-liners
One liners are great when you're a good rapper. They are silly and probably don't help you get 5 stars, but they are very fun and usually clever. The king of One liners is Ludacris. We all know them. Eminem is another great user of one liners. Well, Bow Wow tries his hand and his hand fails... Miserably. Listen to these Gems:
"
Fourth album comeback power like rogaine"
"
I just gotta work at it like a crack attic up in rehab"
"
One coulda been a doctor, the other a chef.
but when he got his own kitchen he was cookin somethin else"
"
boricua mami's that like to eat Mickey D's" (SMH. The original is "Boricua Mami's Screamin "Ei Papi" by biggie)
"
I'm goin down in history like American Band stand" (
Yeahh, that totally makes sense)
And My Favorite "
Can't nobody do it like my grandmama grandson"
Y'een't, Thurr, and Hurr
Bow Wow is from Ohio, JD is from Atlanta, Bow Wow reps both cities. Too Bad he has his slang mixed up. Thurr, Hurr, etc. Has nothing to do with Ohio or ATL, the whole Urr slang is St. Louis, so yeahh.
The Predictability
If you're gonna suck, suck like no one has ever sucked before, Bow Wow chooses to use every trick in the book:
Gimmicky Slang: "
Fresh Azimiz" (Fresh As I Am Is)
Women are objects:
Go,
Is That You (P.Y.T.),
Caviar (Snoop opens with the kid friendly "
Shootin niggaz down, slappin bitches up")
Women aren't objects, I'm really a sensitive guy and you're my soulmate:
Let Me Hold You,
Like You
Aww Man, The street I used to live on was so rough and ghetto:
Big Dreams
Yaay, I know how to say East, West South, North!!!:
Do What It Do.
Impala, Shot Calla, you better pick up the phone and Call Up(The songs about how much money you have):
Mo Money,
Do You,
Caviar, and
Fresh Azimiz
Sex:
Do What It Do,
Go,
Is That You (P.Y.T.),
Let Me Hold You
This album is the worst "Hip-Hop" (Sorry, mx doesn't have a non-music category, so I had to lump it in with Hip-Hop) album I have heard. and I have heard nelly, and MC Hammer, I have heard Bubba Sparxxx and Daddy Yankee, this tops all of them in overall Mediocrity. Giving this album a 1 may seem like shooting fish in a barrel, but this album is really bad, Aaron Carter bad. and I honestly did think it mightl've just been Meh, but I was wrong. It was horrible.
Pros
Srsly?
Only 11 Tracks
Only around 45 minutes.
Cons
Lots Of Things
Recom... Ahh forget it, nothing is listenable on this.
1/5
