Review Summary: More like JAMery.
Emery come in hot like a freshly made pizza in their billionth album as old men, and this time they take names and give spanks like a pimp. Sounding like a release in the era of …In Shallow We Sails and The Question (in this reviewer’s nostalgic opinion, although no doubt someone will call me a wanker for speaking in truth), it’s not just an ode to the past, or a tip of the hat, or a looking through a picture book of memories, it
is the past. It practically sounds like Emery have been replaced by their multiversal selves that stepped in a time machine, and killed off this Earth’s Emery, although in the multiverse they have improved vocals. So therefore, to sum up, musically speaking, this isn’t their Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5., or some other generic bull*** someone might say, but it is great. Greatly great.
Everything is here for a pleasant pizza pie. The screamy growls sound almost exactly the same which is hilarious but also nice, and self harmonized vocals are luscious like pizza. The raw milkshake of the album, however, is the juicy meat of melodies. You see, songs don’t just shove needles in your nose, they insert free money. Songs are just as nice to listen to as they are stabby, which is awesome and sounds just like Emery. Every song is catchy except for maybe the boring ones which are less stabby, but there aren’t many boring songs. Mostly you’re gonna say, “Oh ***, I like this, pizzamachine was right as always! I love that guy!”. Is there any problem with this album? Sure, in my opinion the songs aren’t that memorable. That’s my only issue honestly, because otherwise *** smells like victory. Songs bump and are beautiful like driving my freshly washed car on speedbumps.
So it’s not a perfect album, but it is an Emery album which is close enough to perfection since it’s 2022 and therefore things sound better than a recipe for sunflower seed soufflé. Many improvements are had, especially considering that sparkling champagne production. Speaking of production and not related, Emery here have proved that it is possible for old men to sound like young punks once again, but in a cool way somehow, and in the process may explode all multiverses and we are all doomed. Emery are still awesome, and if this doesn’t get you nostalgic, your soul is probably filled with fond memories of the last time you washed a camel’s butt cheeks. Indeed, the music here does not sound like a tired band, it sounds like a good band that is tired due to raising kids, yet they still remember how to give a nice handjob. That, my friend, is the effect of Emery on the would be listener. Be prepared for this train, for it’s going all the way down into your soul’s core and igniting a flame you previously thought was lost. Step right up, your time is now.
