Review Summary: The greatest album of all time!
Hybrid Theory sucks, essentially. It’s every nu-metal album in existence with the rap, screaming, and distorted power chords. The writing is basic and generic and discusses vague themes. There is no creativity in this album, thus failing to distinguish them from other bands. So why did it sell so well?
Oh yeah, it was certified gold. Teenagers everywhere blared singles on the radio it eventually was certified platinum, and everything was good except the lack of musical content.
You know, I was a middle schooler too. This is important in a SputnikMusic review for reasons that I don’t need to bring up with you. I was an outcast and that matters so be sure to give this review a pos. Also, I was another Pokemon loving shmuck in elementary school, because that really matters. So yeah, in the grand scheme of things, I was a reject, so please support me on Patreon to compensate.
I’m going to mention my personal life instead of the album because there’s no possible way to justify a lack of creativity here. I wasn’t cool because I was a Gameboy playing nerd with no social status and people had an agenda against me. My dad died, so again, be sure to pos this review in his memory. I never talked to people anyway, so people should have come to me first, but they didn’t. Shame on them!
I thought I was the only one who felt like a reject and all that. I wanted something new, not some generic radio singles. And hearing those generic singles was just what I needed. A pop conglomerate was the ultimate middle finger to pop conglomerates. The lyrics were so deep and relatable, and Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda are to thank for speaking to me in a way nothing ever had before.
It was a sign that I wasn’t the only Pokemon loving antisocial nerd on the planet. I needed more generic rock music in my life. It was a representation of my life and was a blessing. My musical passion comes from this generic radio rock friendly album. An album that inspired me to find other kinds of music like Nickelback, a band that sucks for the exact same reasons as this album does. Only difference is that Linkin Park is what I heard first so its good.
Hybrid Theory empowered me and influenced me to take control of my social status. Also, notice how I haven’t actually talked about any of the songs on the album. I’m just spewing *** about my life which is irrelevant to the review. People now liked me exclusively because of my Linkin Park fanboyism. It made me realize that I need to talk to people so I just did.
Hybrid Theory changed my life, and that means the album should be classified as a 5 by everyone, even though it’s been established why it sucks. It’s not good, but I heard it as a teenager so it’s good by default and you must give it a 5 by default.
