Incubus
8


0.5

Review

by Rowan5215 STAFF
April 21st, 2017 | 220 replies


Release Date: 2017 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Review.

I'd give you a list of reasons why 8 sucks, but if you don't already know them they're obvious upon listening, not that I'm encouraging that in any capacity. I'll do it anyway, because it will make me feel better.

"No Fun" is the best song on this album, and it still sounds like a cover band playing notes based on a description of an Incubus song they found on the back of a candy wrapper. "State of the Art" might legitimately be the worst song they've ever made; imagine "Promises, Promises" but not even catchy enough to be passable on any conceivable layer of irony or sincerity. Remember when Brandon used to be really good at metaphors and similes? There's one on this whole album, and it's "love is like a blind archer trying to shoot an apple off my head". There's a 50-second interlude where, my best guess is they're trying to play polka while Brandon impersonates a small child learning how to take a shower? and that's the most experimental piece of music on this album. Every song is so utterly devoid of energy, like they've released a record composed of the spaces between the notes in all their previous work. There's one kind of okay instrumental, which means standards are now so low that I will give anything a pass on a new Incubus album so long as it spares us an awful chorus melody or lyrics for three minutes. My one concession is if you hated If Not Now, When? you may finally appreciate that album's stabs at experimentation ("In the Company of Wolves" is still top notch) compared to this inane """alternative pop rock""" drivel. If I haven't already convinced you, Skrillex produced this album – you can't make this stuff up, people! – but he doesn't even have a negative affect because there's no music here to ruin, literally nothing present of enough substance that Sonny Moore could possibly make worse. If the band doesn't put in the effort to think of a name that isn't literally the number of the album in their discography, what kind of message does that send except that we shouldn't even put in the effort to listen? Or that I shouldn't put in effort reviewing it, or writing a summary? The answer is that's exactly the message they've sent. *** this, I've already spent too many words on it. Listen to Morning View.



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Comments:Add a Comment 
Rowan5215
Staff Reviewer
April 21st 2017


38331 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album//id1214441697 stream if you're a masochist

mumbleTRAPPER
April 21st 2017


94 Comments


yahhhhhhh

onionbubs
April 21st 2017


5241 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0 | Sound Off

damn.

Digging: Alkaline Trio - Broken Wing

mumbleTRAPPER
April 21st 2017


94 Comments


sike im dumb

good review

MuhNamesTyler
April 21st 2017


6058 Comments


"There's a 50-second interlude where, my best guess is they're trying to play polka while Brandon impersonates a small child learning how to take a shower?"

Lol gonna have to listen to this now

Edit

https://youtu.be/KVGZuqq_3Xc Yowza

Digging: No Reason to Live - Only Death is Certain

Tunaboy45
April 21st 2017


14503 Comments


Damn a rare 0.5, this must be TPOT levels of bad. Loved reading it.

Digging: Gorillaz - Humanz

GabeItch
April 21st 2017


1 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Wow, what a useless review...

Tunaboy45
April 21st 2017


14503 Comments


wow man I know, ghost neg xD

butcherboy
April 21st 2017


865 Comments


staff, huh?

kingdedethefifth
April 21st 2017


2088 Comments


This was actually pretty humorous. Have my ghost pos.

Digging: Neurosis - Enemy of the Sun

hansoloshotfirst
April 21st 2017


214 Comments


didn't know that they still exist.

Digging: Ildjarn - Ildjarn

FullOfSounds
April 21st 2017


14602 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

damn

this probably sucks so fucking hard

Digging: Satellite Jockey - Modern Life

guitarded_chuck
April 21st 2017


12542 Comments


band was always the definition of rock music so average id rather jump off a bridge than sit through for any length of time, im sure ro is spot on here

Digging: Drive-by Truckers - American Band

SandorClegane
April 21st 2017


74 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

They are on track to release two albums per 10 year span - might as well quit.

onionbubs
April 21st 2017


5241 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0 | Sound Off

not excited to listen. to think they were once one of my favorite bands

Tunaboy45
April 21st 2017


14503 Comments


band is bland as bland can be

rsyracus
April 21st 2017


2 Comments


This is perhaps the laziest, most thoughtless review of an album I've ever read. Ok, you think the album sucks. Got it.

If you're going to insult a lyrical metaphor, at least be accurate. It's "blind archer trying to shoot an arrow"

Nice work.

Tunaboy45
April 21st 2017


14503 Comments


This is perhaps the laziest, most thoughtless comment off a review I've ever read. Ok, you think the review sucks. Got it.

If you're going to insult a joke review, at least give details. "Lyrical metaphor", like Incubus are capable of wordsmithery.

Nice work.

theacademy
Staff Reviewer
April 21st 2017


30460 Comments


haha i downloaded this and was juuuuuuuuuust about to listen to it

dimsim3478
April 21st 2017


7453 Comments


goddamn ultra negative reviews are so amusing. compliments on the many witty lines herein, rowbro!

Digging: The Pillows - Nook in the Brain



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