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Review Summary: As catchy as any pop album, the polarizing Germans release their best LP yet. It was easy enough to give Eskimo Callboy the benefit of the doubt on their unsubtle debut LP ‘Bury Me In (Fucking) Vegas’. With pigeon noises and thought-provoking lyrics such as “guinea pig romance, hey your goldfish sucks, alpacas make me angry”, the German sextet clearly crossed the line into a parody of the ever-expanding electronicore scene. It was merely a bonus that they were able to deliver a handful of catchy choruses along the way. Any attempt at a more focused and mature follow-up saw ‘We Are The Mess’ produce such marginal results that more of the band’s endearing qualities were lost than gained. Come third LP ‘Crystals’, the polarizing outfit get their priorities in order and see their convoluted mish-mash of components gel better; resulting in their best release to date… Whatever you want to make of that statement.
Right from the get-go on opener ‘Pitch Blease’, Eskimo Callboy lay the foundations of what is to come on ‘Crystals’: Loud, over-driven guitars and thunderous, rapid-fire drums behind a variety of harsh screams and auto-tuned clean vocals. The latter climaxes with an easily singable chorus that is backed by a danceable beat. Add some lyrics about getting naughty and partying, and you really do have a perfect encapsulation of everything that the band dish up on this album. From there, it’s really a matter of rinse and repeat, with slight variations from song to song. Some tracks incorporate more pronounced synths, ‘Best Day’ recalls ‘Hybrid Theory’ era Linkin Park by featuring Berlin rapper Sido, while ‘Baby (T.U.M.H.) hints at some mainstream crossover potential by reimagining the chorus of NSYNC’s 1997 hit ‘Tearin’ Up My Heart’!
Of course, parody or otherwise, the electronicore genre does lend itself to being prone to huge miscues. Here, anything that resembles a skit or an interlude is a genuine waste of time, while tracks such as ‘Monster’ and ‘Paradise In Hell’ attempt to do too much in the space of three minutes, turning them into a convoluted mess. Musically speaking, it’s all far from original and there is often so much going on that it proves counter-productive to the end product, resulting in absolutely nothing standing out. This is especially the case with the dual guitar attack - which shows very little imagination or technicality – and those aforementioned synths; which add very little atmosphere. The dual vocal dynamic, on the other hand, is produced rather well, with Sebastian Biesler and Kevin Ratajczak complementing each other appropriately.
While many will believe that Eskimo Callboy have compromised their sound here on ‘Crystals’, aiming near the mid-point of their previous two LPs has resulted in their most focused and consistent album to date. With its intelligible screaming and reliance on clubby, danceable beats, there’s very much a mainstream tilt to it all… But when ‘Crystals’ is arguably as catchy as any pop album, then that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s not as if Eskimo Callboy have lost their identity; it’s all still as cheesy as hell, grammatically incorrect at times and contains the usual themes of partying, girls and alcohol. And then there is that trademark humor, which is best exemplified by the chorus of ‘2 Fat 2 Furious’: “Baby I love you, but I can’t deny that I would leave you for an apple pie. Baby I need you, I’m done with the lies, coz I don’t wanna live without burgers & fries”.
Recommended Tracks: 2 Fat 2 Furious, Pitch Blease & Walk on the Thin Line.
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Album Rating: 2.9
SoundCloud’ed above is 2nd single ‘Best Day’
Here is the video for lead single ‘Crystals’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrWPKu37H1E
Personally, though, I don’t think either song is in the best 4 or 5 tracks on the album… So take them with a little grain of salt.
| | | I like you Davey, but
| | | Only ever heard one song from these guys and it was enough to make me despise them for life
| | | Album Rating: 2.9
LOL Johnny. I've seen that comment before... Quite a few times. I'm Davey "The Things I do for Sputnik" Boy.
Come on Scream. There's no need to despise the Germans for just 1 song... or any metalcore band for just one song... Then again, heard one, heard them all.
Where's our resident suchandsuchcore expert Bloc?
| | | Calling this their best album and still giving it a 2.9 isn't doing much to convince me
Seriously though, that one song (forgot the name) somehow managed to cram everything I dislike the most about music in under 5 minutes!
| | | these guys produce abortions, maybe that's the point, but it still remains an abortion
| | | Davey, the reason i came to Sputnik was to finally abandon this kind of music. On a side note, never thought these guys were a big thing outside our precious country.
| | | Knew this would be a Davey review. This does look at least somewhat hopeful. That recommended by reviewer section, though...
| | | Album Rating: 2.9
"best" is definitely relative SCREAM. It's obviously not the best the genre has to offer either, but it's probably worth keeping in mind that whatever the best of the genre is would probably not surpass a 4 anyway.
They're definitely a "check your head at the door" band Paradox.
LOL Shiranui. As for how big they are outside Germany, I'm not really certain. But they are well enough known.
Tbh guys, this album is more aimed at pop fans. If you like a catchy - but mindless - chorus and can put up with the loud metalcore-like music, then you should like most of these tunes.
Oranges, I actually thought about scrapping that 'Reco' list for the exact reason you mention. But what else could I really put there.
| | | Album Rating: 2.9
Thanks Jacq... And yes, I know, it's hard to get over that reco section.
| | | Album Rating: 2.9
Nah, all good questions. I think there is no doubt that their debut LP was almost an out-and-out parody. There were hints with their 2nd LP that they tried to get serious. This particular album lands somewhere in the middle. It's why I didn't carry on about the negatives, but it would be remiss of me not to mention them in the review.
I definitely don't expect originality from them, but I do feel that they could still be a parody band and do a lot more with their guitars. Even if it was hair-metal that they parodied - EG: there is one weird solo at the end of 2 Fat 2 Furious that is not exactly original or technical, but kinda works. But that's it. The rest of the guitar-work is just one big blur.
| | | why are you even listening to stuff like this. Review is a good read as usual.
| | | Album Rating: 2.9
Ed, we need perspective sometimes. Bands such as this give it to us.
Plus, why did you listen to any of the albums that you rated under a 3.0?
| | | Most of them weren't as obviously terrible. I mean, you already know that these guys are garbage.
Sometimes it's fun to check something hilariously bad =D
| | | Album Rating: 2.9
Well, I'd much rather listen to this than Kesha, Bieber & Robbie Fn Williams.
But yeah, like I said; perspective.
| | | got into these guys on their first album, being a chug chug metalcore kid i found the parodies quite funny. Cant imagine theyve progressed much tho tbh
good review, mind pos
| | | SARAAAAAAAH
| | | wnt u tell me ur name
| | | gonna give this a rip
| | | Album Rating: 2.9
"Cant imagine theyve progressed much tho tbh"
Nah, they haven't Mort, although I think their choruses are catchier here. Think 'Is Anyone Up' over & over again.
"BLACK FINGERNAILS! RED W- wait wrong thread wtf is this"
LOL Arcade.
"gonna give this a rip"
Then you'll probably rip the (digital) music up... & then you'll come here and rip into the band. A ripping good time will be had by all.
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