Ted Nugent
Shutup&jam!


5.0
classic

Review

by Sanic69 USER (2 Reviews)
July 27th, 2014 | 32 replies


Release Date: 07/08/2014 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Pure, unrelenting beauty. Truly the highest form of art possible in music.

The first time listening to Ted Nugent’s masterpiece of an album “Shutup&jam” I cried harder than I have ever cried before. Never in my life have I heard such beautiful sounds that fill me to the brim with emotions I never thought possible, it felt like I was constantly having sex while winning the lotto at the same time. This album is like a beautiful naked women standing in front of you with a seductive smile, you got to grab her by the tits and go all in without looking back or thinking of herpes.

Ted simply does not play the works of high art found on this album, he unleashes them onto you. Take for example what may be the crown jewel in this album, “I Love My BBQ”. Just the way Ted talks about his meat and his BBQ makes me want to get on my knees and have Ted shove a big piece of his meat down my mouth as I suck the succulent juices from it. This song is all inclusive, Ted wants to put his meat into the mouths of Canadians, Americans, Africans, Germans, everyone basically regardless of gender, age or race, this is a song nobody will feel left out of, everyone can choke down a huge hunk of Ted’s tasty red meat. Other topics covered on this album include firearms, hot bitches and America, so there is quite a bit of diversity to it, these topics will also likely appeal to hardcore hip-hop fans too considering most rap songs are about those things and nobody like Ice Cube stands a chance at telling you how f*cking awesome firearms are like Uncle Ted. A few other highlights of this orgasmic album include "Throttle Down" where Ted wanks the sh*t out of his old guitar like his wrinkled dick and cums all over our ears while we cry tears of joy and "Screaming Eagles" which makes me just want to climb to the top of Mount Rushmore and scream “America f*ck yeah!” while chugging down a beer and shoving a football (a real American football, not that pussy European one) deep into my ass.

Overall this album is just perfect in every way possible and appeals to everyone who ever existed or is yet to exist. Uncle Ted proves on this album that he is truly a God among men (not even Kanye got *** on him) ready to kick Michael Moore’s and Obama’s asses and shot the *** out of vermin while holding the American flag high for all the world to see. Truly this is the most important album of the year bar none and there is zero chance of anyone releasing something that will surpass the quality of this.

5 white stars on the beautiful flag/ 5


user ratings (37)
Chart.
1.6
very poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
BMDrummer
July 27th 2014


12348 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

haha fucking pos

Digging: Elemantra - You Feel Bad About You

sixdegrees
July 27th 2014


18777 Comments


finally a quality, all-American review

Digging: Goropsy - GOD GAVE ME ONE LIFE AND HE MADE ME UGLY

Judio!
Contributing Reviewer
July 27th 2014


7344 Comments


The best thing Nugent has ever done since declaring "Foreigners are assholes; foreigners are scum; I don't like 'em; I don't want 'em in this country; I don't want 'em selling me doughnuts; I don't want 'em pumping my gas."

Digging: Venetian Snares - Rossz Csillag Allat Szuletett

sixdegrees
July 27th 2014


18777 Comments


dead horse, etc. but: http://www.nocompromise.org/news/000731c.html

danielcardoso
July 27th 2014


3219 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Great rating, bro.

TheNotrap
July 27th 2014


8278 Comments


Pretty nice reading, have a pos.

Digging: Leprous - The Congregation

TheMoreira
July 27th 2014


7188 Comments


This is a great a review, haha man.. pos'd

ScuroFantasma
July 27th 2014


3183 Comments


At first I was like damn more Ted, but this is great dude, have a pos.

Greyvy
July 27th 2014


5435 Comments


album art is so dope

PorcelainRain
July 27th 2014


537 Comments


two words Charles Barkley

FrozenFirebug
July 27th 2014


98 Comments


ted is love ted is life

zaruyache
July 27th 2014


9037 Comments


I wish I could be more patriotic like Ted ;_;

Digging: False - Untitled

zakalwe
July 27th 2014


11346 Comments


It's your duty as a yank to bow to the flag, pledge allegiance and be an absolute arse.

Digging: The Wake - Here Comes Everybody

danielcardoso
July 27th 2014


3219 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

no doubt, futures.

JohnnyOnTheSpot
Contributing Reviewer
July 27th 2014


3346 Comments


;_;7

TPM731
July 27th 2014


240 Comments


This is absolutely amazing. Have a pos'

Sanic69
July 28th 2014


3 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Every night before bed I prey to Ted, "Ted is love, Ted is life" I say, one night the smell of BBQed meat and killed liberals fills the room, something grabs a hold of me from behind, "somthing smells good" says a voice into my ear, its Ted.

danielcardoso
July 28th 2014


3219 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

lol, man.

TalonsOfFire
July 28th 2014


13019 Comments


Made me lol, pos

Digging: Cradle of Filth - Hammer of the Witches

Ayil
July 28th 2014


81 Comments


Satire, I love it.



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