Mastodon
Once More 'Round the Sun


5.0
classic

Review

by John Lennon beat his wife. STAFF
June 23rd, 2014 | 50 replies


Release Date: 06/24/2014 | Tracklist

Review Summary: 14 years deep into their career Mastodon have risen to become one of the most relevant outfits in modern metal.

14 years deep into their career

Giving temporal context, but worded to convey that the fourteen years have led us to a point in time. So we are in the present (or, possibly, at some point in time when Mastodon was fourteen years into their career... i guess which one would depend on the tense of the inbound verb... or however much we know about Mastodon...)...

Mastodon have

Oh, I see. We are currently fourteen years deep into the career of Mastodon. Alright, I was just checking to be sure...

risen

*SCREEEEEEEEEEECHES TO A HALT* Whoa... instead of the present tense, the present perfect tense??? So you're suggesting that something done in the past is having impact in the present. Alright, I can see that, except for the fact that the immediacy of Mastodon's "rise" on our present is... nonexistant (I mean, not just because its one of those idiotic music journalist crutches used to move readers along a bull*** spectrum relied upon in order to talk about new music's relationship to old music, but also because the timing of Mastodon's "rise" really has no consequence to us since it is the first sentence of the review, and we have no idea where you expected Mastodon to be nine words ago)...

What does their rise mean to us in the present? I think this actually does more harm to your sentence by making the first part pointless (apart from throwing the number in there, which really could have been done much more elegantly).

Why is it pointless? After fourteen years, what does (or did) Mastodon do? That is the question your readers are asking themselves after the words "14 years deep into their career Mastodon..."

So do they rise, only now? Or have they been rising the whole time? What is the nature of their rise? When did it start and finish?

If they rise just now, you should have written "Fourteen years deep into their career, Mastodon rise (or are rising)..." Admittedly, this sounds stupid and not like what you were going for, so...

Since I think you meant that their rise has been going on and has concluded by now, let's go with "By the fourteenth year of their career, Mastodon rose..."

to become

this is just way too ***ing wordy for a first sentence... why use an infinitive here anyway? you just dig the hole deeper because you need to throw more *** at an infinitive. Why didn't they just rise to *something*? Can we just say they rose to the top?

one of the most

wait, ***... now my idea isn't gonna work. Because mastodon is merely rising to a *group* of other things. Alright, I hear ya, man. If you're using this many words to talk about it, it must be a pretty important group. And a well-defined group. Because you are suggesting that we will definitely be impressed that Mastodon has risen to the likes of the other members of this group. By the way, what group is it?

relevant

what. does. this. word. mean.

Define it without using commercial or critical modifiers, because if you can't do this then you could (and should) have just used those modifiers instead... if either of those are what you meant by "relevant" -- a term so ***ing loaded with unqualified hot air that any writer looking to use the term might as well just use 'cool' -- then use those words.

You are writing about "popular music." This affords you certain shortcuts: you can say something about where the band lies in the world of "popular music" (which has two dimensions: commercial and critical). If you find yourself writing about a band like this, either explain why the band is popular or don't write about their place in "popular music." And don't you fucking dare try to skip this step by calling them "relevant" and then going off about their "progressive leanings" rofl

Luckily for us, Mastodon are both commercially and critically successful. So let's just find a better word next time around.

outfits in modern metal

lol i quit. good review greg.



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Comments:Add a Comment 
theacademy
Staff Reviewer
June 22nd 2014


28697 Comments


idk maybe i just have a thing about mastodon reviews

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Green Baron
June 22nd 2014


20053 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

I was hopin for another spanish review

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BigPleb
June 22nd 2014


37343 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

great work acad haha, cracked me up. pos

also, dat recommended albums section haha

Digging: Kayo Dot - Coffins on Io

MeatSalad
June 22nd 2014


14770 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

why

Digging: Flying Lotus - You're Dead!

Green Baron
June 22nd 2014


20053 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

but damn this is too fuckin sweet to pass up

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
June 22nd 2014


21504 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

...

pos

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theacademy
Staff Reviewer
June 22nd 2014


28697 Comments


btw this is so sloppy and unpolished because it was a ranty comment that was "Too Long" to submit.

also gregs review is prob not that bad to warrant this but i didnt want to waste my rant!

Ryus
June 22nd 2014


3358 Comments


i enjoyed this

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Deviant.
Staff Reviewer
June 22nd 2014


31398 Comments


The ultimate companion piece

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BMDrummer
June 22nd 2014


8851 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

I was hopin for another Spanish review [2]

Either way, this is fine

Green Baron
June 22nd 2014


20053 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

lol too good

SnakeDelilah
June 22nd 2014


8095 Comments


rip progmaster

Digging: Have Mercy - A Place Of Our Own

TalonsOfFire
June 22nd 2014


8369 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

wtf did I just read

Digging: The War on Drugs - Lost in the Dream

tommygun
June 22nd 2014


24992 Comments


outstanding

flag plz

Green Baron
June 22nd 2014


20053 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

this is genius honestly

Verm
June 22nd 2014


1002 Comments


Album rulz, jam this or derp

climactic
June 22nd 2014


19528 Comments


Lol yes

titanslayer
June 22nd 2014


1924 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

ROTY?

RogueNine
June 22nd 2014


1337 Comments


Sure the summary's a bit trite but grammatically it's fine. This is pretty great though.

InbredJed
June 23rd 2014


6083 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

this is m/



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