Steel Panther
All You Can Eat


4.7
superb

Review

by Brendan Schroer USER (179 Reviews)
April 7th, 2014 | 175 replies


Release Date: 04/01/2014 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Steel Panther died for your sins, and now they're back for your sister.

"Fuck the Goo Goo Dolls, they can suck my balls
They look like the dorks that hang out at the mall
Eminem can suck it, so can Dr. Dre
They can suck each other, just because they're gay"

From their famous first words, I think most of us knew that Steel Panther would be something special. While they made a previous album as the band Metal Shop, 2009's Feel the Steel is generally considered to be the band's official debut and their real breakthrough record. Right from the beginning, Michael Starr and co. have been striving to make some of the most vulgar and hilarious modern rock out there, all while showcasing very genuine instrumental talent in the process; sort of like the glam metal version of Psychostick except arguably funnier. Unfortunately, while the band's previous record Balls Out was a solid follow-up to Feel the Steel, it wasn't as much of an outrageous leap forward lyrically or musically as its predecessor was. The jokes were funny (particularly the Tiger Woods ones) but not as quite as memorable. The music was solid and full of fun riffs, but seemed a little bit safe. So how do Steel Panther follow up this (very) slight regression? Way more vulgarity!!!

All You Can Eat is easily the band's funniest and most diverse offering to date, their confidence coming out in full force this time around. While staying within the glam metal/hard rock framework of previous works, Steel Panther include a few notable surprises this time around. "The Burden of Being Wonderful" is probably the most interesting departure, ditching Satchel's normal heavy riffing for a more synth-laden symphonic sound with lead guitar work sprinkled a bit over the top. Some songs' instrumental qualities perfectly mirror their subject matter, like "Bukkake Tears" having the makings of a melancholic power ballad while describing the female's regrets over... uh... the titular act. Other songs end up opting for a heavier route than we're used to for this band, particularly "If I Was the King" and "Gloryhole" which both using a more double bass-driven drum approach in their riffs and showcase Satchel's more aggressive guitar licks. While the band's lyrics are still the highlight here, it's always worth mentioning the band's instrumental abilities relative to the "comedy metal" movement.

Lyrically, the ante has seriously been upped here. While you get the regular jokes about fucking, whores, STDs, and other typical subjects for the band, we now have lyrics pertaining to bukkake, sex with the elderly, even more self-indulgence and hedonism, and other ridiculous acts to toss more wood in the bonfire. Michael Starr's deliveries are just as charismatic as ever; you can't say the man is afraid of not holding back when he proudly sings lines like "The place was packed with wrinkly boobies and dicks; The youngest one there was maybe 76." There are, however, songs like "Party Like Tomorrow is the End of the World" and "You're Beautiful When You Don't Talk" which are on the slightly safer side lyrically (well, for them anyway), the former going for the fun party atmosphere the band usually bring out anyway in their music. When you get down to it, All You Can Eat is just another great offering by the band... but in some ways, it just goes further than that. This album is just so damn fun, even when compared to the group's other albums. Despite sounding similar to them and simply expanding upon the band's previous work, this one is overall more consistent with its jokes and more diverse with its musical offerings. Especially when compared to Balls Out, this is a powerful double penetration of both hilariously vulgar lines and bitchin' riffage that just can't be ignored. Other than being slightly too safe in certain spots, there's really no flaw to be found here. If you liked the band's last albums, you'll love this one... simple as that.

Take it away, Michael Starr! What would you do if you were a king???

"I'd knock down all the schools
And put up licquor stores
And give free boobjobs to the strippers and the whores
I would outlaw common sense
Feed the homeless to the wolves
And if you didn't like Steel Panther you'd go to jail!"

Damn straight.



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user ratings (103)
Chart.
3.3
great
other reviews of this album
jordan. CONTRIBUTOR (4)
Cum On, Eat it Up, Pussy...

BlackLlama (5)
You'll be stuffed like a fat, fat girl at the All You Can Eat buffet....

related reviews

Feel the Steel

Balls Out

Comments:Add a Comment 
FiveLeavesLeft
April 7th 2014


9838 Comments

Album Rating: 4.7 | Sound Off

sexxy like lexxi

Jacquibim
Contributing Reviewer
April 7th 2014


14450 Comments


lol

Digging: Brian Eno - Ambient 4: On Land

Arcade
Contributing Reviewer
April 7th 2014


2714 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Thanks for making me hate my review

Mental pos

Digging: Weezer - Everything Will Be Alright in the End

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
April 7th 2014


6151 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

Good review, I have to check these guys at some point.

album stream - http://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLFuipLA1g-UO7Y4wH-4d9c0ZNTLgZCJ64&v=khp1JLUbblQ

Digging: Sumerlands - The Guardian (demo)

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
April 7th 2014


23848 Comments


licquor stores

Tremz
April 7th 2014


443 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

album rules

SitarHero
April 7th 2014


4679 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Dat summary tho. Pos'd.

DaveyBoy
Staff Reviewer
April 7th 2014


20857 Comments


Sorry mods, I meant to post this under my DaveyBoy account... Can you switch it over please?

SticksmanTheBored
April 7th 2014


206 Comments


OMG I can't even

BlackLlama
April 7th 2014


1672 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

I would outlaw condom sales, and feed the homeless to the whales.... and if you didn't like Steel Panther you'd go to JAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL m/

BlackLlama
April 7th 2014


1672 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

Bukakke to Burden is the 4 song stretch of the year.

Tremz
April 7th 2014


443 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

there was soooo much spuunk on your faaaaaaaaace

RoyalImperialGuard
April 7th 2014


1323 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

I'm just a Maserati in a world of Kias.

BlackLlama
April 7th 2014


1672 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0 | Sound Off

We can't stop now we're going to fast....


There's a 9 inch cock in your pussy, 10 and a half... in your ass.

fallenbird
April 7th 2014


3903 Comments


Can staff not review an album higher than a 4.7 when it's just released or something? Because there's a shit ton if 4.7's on recent albums by staff members but barely and 4.5's and no 5's. I've been wondering about this for a while.

Fantastic review btw.

Digging: Sugary Sweet Machines - Controlled Breathing

DaveyBoy
Staff Reviewer
April 7th 2014


20857 Comments


We can rate them whatever we want FallenBird. I'd say it's more individuals not wanting to rate an album which could be rounded up to a 5, but want to show they like it more than a 4.5.

Personally, I think we should get rid of all the 0.1s between 4.5 & 5, but I think I'm on my lonesome with that thought.

Crysis
Staff Reviewer
April 7th 2014


16410 Comments


Personally, I think we should get rid of all the 0.1s between 4.5 & 5, but I think I'm on my lonesome with that thought.


I wouldn't be opposed to that.

Digging: Blut Aus Nord - Memoria Vetusta III ? Saturnian Poetry

fish.
Contributing Reviewer
April 7th 2014


21971 Comments


lol best summary you've ever come up with

Pizzahut
April 7th 2014


113 Comments


Abysmal band.

ibringyoufire
April 7th 2014


358 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Yeah, ok

Digging: Jenny Hval and Susanna - Meshes Of Voice



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