Review Summary: Why am I doing this?
No really, why? I'm writing this, and I don't even know why. It's not like people would care if I did, so why? WHY? WHY?! Well, it's because this *** has a 3.8, and the first album has a 4.9. Yes, people still think that this *** is funny. Really. Boy, if I had a nickel for every time the internet reaffirmed my disdain for humanity, I'd be one rich ***.
For the no one who has no idea who or what Christian and the Hedgehog Boys are, it's a "band" founded by Christian Weston Chandler, otherwise known as Chris-chan or CWC. The CW is a 31 year old autistic man-child who gained notoriety on the internet as the author of Sonichu, and, because of the two things I just mentioned, became a target for trolls and has systematically ruined his life in trying to combat them. That's just from what I can tell. I've never heard of the guy, but I've heard of Sonichu and that was about it. I honestly did not want to go into any more detail, because the CW story involves incest with an imaginary sister, several fake online relationships that ended in deaths, semen eating, and enough of this sort of information to compile an anthology as large, complex, and horrifying as the Necronomicon. If you want to know more, Google it, because I wasted several hours of brain power trying to understand why this guy became the number one rock album of this website by rating alone, and got absolutely nowhere.
Looking it up on the chart sidebar when looking at the Rock tag was how I found this ***. The picture was pixelated and looked weird, so I looked up the name on Google Images. I found an image that said, "No matter how hard you fail, no matter how much you have ***ed up your own life. You. Will. Never. Be as pathetic as him." Those seemed like strong words for a guy I know nothing about, so I just bit the bullet and switched to web search. And the first thing I saw was...Sonichu. Know Your Meme was where I started, and then I descended into Sonichu.com and wanted to immediately come out. Long story short, it was a Creepypasta that seemed to go on for ages.
It wasn't before long where I just decided to listen to the "album", seeing as how his music was the last thing anyone ever talked about, so I did...and ugh.
Did it exceed my expectations? No. Was I disappointed? No. Was I thinking it would be good? No, but nevertheless, this was just a terrible "album" to sit through. If you're noticing, I keep putting "album" and "band" in quotes. That's because there is no band. It's all CW. And this is no album. Albums usually have music that a particular artist made. This album is comprised of already sung pop songs with Chris-chan singing horribly over them. There's sampling, there's covering, and there's plagiarism...and then there's this. This guy is singing over poor quality MP3s of already sung songs, like the Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way" with their vocals and instrumentation perfectly intact. Chris-chan's involvement extends to changing lyrics slightly, changing song names, and singing along; nothing more, nothing less. I barely got started with the album, and wanted to shut it off immediately. And there are 2 more of these!
You know, it took me awhile, but now I realize why I'm writing this: BECAUSE THIS ISN'T FUNNY! I'm not just talking about the album, or Chris-chan or Sonichu, I talking about the trolling ***. This is joke that apparently been the funniest thing on the Internet since 2007, and here this *** is getting 5 and 4.5 ratings a full 6 years later. I don't care if it's all a joke, it's not funny. It will never be funny. This is a horse that has been beaten to death so many times that its carcass has become nothing more than a stain on the ground. I might as well watch reruns Mind of Mencia or Tosh.0, because apparently, those are the only original jokes that have been told since 2007.
But the album, as with the other two, are just awful. It was like listening to a tone deaf 12 year old singing along with the radio. Oh wait, no, it WAS listening to a tone deaf 12 year old singing along with the radio.
So, since the negs are coming, I leave to actually live my life with the most unoriginal joke I can make about this album in the vein of every useless human being who still thinks that tormenting a 31-year-old autistic for 6 years is freaking hysterical: don't call it a comeback.
Good night, and fuck you all!
