Review Summary: Definition of a classic.9 of 15 thought this review was well written
For those pathetic insects out there whom have never heard of the mighty Suffocation, let us go on a brief history lesson, much like your days at school except without some cocksucker telling you what to do left, right and center. They were the original brutal death metal band using slams to great effect. No, they are not some breakdown infested deathcore pussies (Whitechapel, BlowJob For A GayBoy, Bring Me the HairSpray). Suffocation were writing guitar lines of truth before you learned to tie your shoes. Neck, before that. Before your parents met. They were writing quality songs when your dad was still sticking it into Mary Beth, who lived in the apartment downstairs, a half blind, nearly deaf old codger with a good straight right but a fearsome left. So for good reasons, Suffocation deserve respect as they are so influential that they probably stuck their dicks into every female member of your family, for it was around that time the band met your horny ma. One time they probably beat the twat with piece of cock, till the mattress and bed frame leaned and broke, and they didn't even stop. So the band have had more influence on your life than you know.
Effigy Of The Forgotten was their debut studio album, a fearsome album that could scare the *** out of the average houseful of Africans (that wasn't racist-i Can't be racist-i own at least three DVD's starring morgan freeman). See this band knew the world before Michael Jackson became famous for being a child molesting white man. This band knew the world before your horny ma started putting her hole about. And their music shook up the metal community. Songs such as Liege Of Inveracity show off how well a well-placed slam can be used to great effect, and this song actually does it more than once, as is the case with most Suffocation songs. So, when they weren't dicking your mom hard, Suffocation were busy writing killer solos, and *** me there solos are ***ing sick. There are solos and then there are Suffocation solos and trust me, you dont want to *** with suffocation, a band so badass they took your moms minge and stuck their head right up it-and never even touched the sides. These solos are enormous and well crafted monstrosities that many will no doubt have never heard.
For those who have never heard Effigy Of The Forgotten, take that dick out your ass and get to your local record store, burn the Alice Cooper T-shirt that you havent even heard the album it displays, and get ready to learn about your horny ma's ***ed up past.