Bullet for My Valentine
Temper Temper


1.5
very poor

Review

by KJ USER (32 Reviews)
February 5th, 2013 | 71 replies | 3,287 views


Release Date: 02/12/2013 | Tracklist

Review Summary: BFMV continue their plunge into the depths of irreversible failure.

18 of 19 thought this review was well written

For all intents and purposes we will call it the Nickelback model; the Nickelback model can be summed up as the act of expending as minimal effort possible writing a new record while simultaneously making sure the finished product has only tasteless and irrelevant subject matter. Bullet for my Valentine’s latest release, Temper Temper, fits this category like a stinky foot in a perfectly-fitting shoe; it is a lazy attempt at hitting the mainstream at large and achieving widespread commercial success like the aforementioned band; but unbeknownst to BFMV, they are in a tough spot because realistically they are too “heavy” (and I use the term quite loosely) to achieve that kind of success given the current musical trends in America. So, the end result isn’t massive accumulation of money, but rather a record of colossal failure and utter embarrassment.

Whatever first impressions couldn’t tell you, the music itself does at record pace. In case you thought you may have been hallucinating, yes, they seriously did write a sequel to “Tears Don’t Fall”; yes, there really are also songs titled “Livin’ Life on the Edge of a Knife” & “POW.” But on to the actual review we go. “Breaking Point” commences the album and wows us with lines like Everyone’s got a breaking point, don’t push me because I won’t back down. Even the quasi-breakdown is half-assed and uninspired utilizing a chugga-chugga groove that couldn't be any simpler. Throw in a robotic guitar solo and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

The song structures are all precisely what we’d expect- rudimentary and predictable at best. The melodies are also much of the same, and Bullet For My Valentine aren’t even attempting to hide the fact they’re striving solely for commercial success. Temper Temper sounds exactly like their recent records except with even less effort put forth. There is virtually not a single innovative idea on this entire record which spans over 44 long minutes. Further exemplifying their lyrical prowess, or lack thereof, is the title track which poetically proclaims - Temper temper, time to explode (HEY!) Feels good when I lose control…Temper temper, time to explode (HEY!) Chamber’s empty, time to reload. Talk about cliché. Of course there are the obligatory ballads, one of which is “POW”, where the vocalist cries about who knows what; you be the judge - This feeling’s overwhelming, it just won’t go away, I’m captive in this nightmare, and this is where I’ll stay. The vocals are riveting indeed.

In closing, to call Bullet for my Valentine “metal” is to bang your cousin and call her Eva Mendes. It will be a glorious day when this band stops plaguing us with their putrid music. In the meantime, we can all share a laugh and toast to real men like Chuck Schuldiner, Dimebag, Peter Steele and all the other metal gods who had balls of iron and metal flowing through their veins. As the saying goes, "you can't appreciate the good without also experiencing the bad."



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user ratings (520)
Chart.
1.6
very poor
other reviews of this album
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Comments:Add a Comment 
KjSwantko
February 4th 2013



9048 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Pretty much as expected. A ton of streams now around the internet, so review should be Sputnik legal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTFWLIq4uFE

ChopSuey
February 4th 2013



2392 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

true

NocteDominum
Contributing Reviewer
February 4th 2013



6923 Comments


Go edit dude, coding, wording etc.

someguest
February 4th 2013



20234 Comments


In closing, to call Bullet for my Valentine “metal” is to bang your cousin and call her Eva Mendes.


pos

Digging: Modest Mouse - The Lonesome Crowded West

NeoSpaz
February 4th 2013



4517 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

fuck yes

MO
February 4th 2013



18192 Comments


lol that last parahraph, fucking excellent

KjSwantko
February 4th 2013



9048 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

"Go edit dude, coding, wording etc."

Yeah it's all fixed (unless you see something I haven't noticed).

NeoSpaz
February 4th 2013



4517 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

ahahah those recs

NocteDominum
Contributing Reviewer
February 4th 2013



6923 Comments


There's a couple here and there, but it's mainly conversational. Your comparisons and vague metaphors are excellent and like MO said that last para is great. But if you're going to list the track title "P.O.W" you might as well write them up the same way twice, just to clean it up.

NeoSpaz
February 4th 2013



4517 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

Fucking fuck this is bad

Jacquibim
Contributing Reviewer
February 4th 2013



13383 Comments


That first paragraph sums up the situation of mainstream "metal" perfectly.

pos'd hard.

Digging: Fallujah - The Flesh Prevails

apert
February 4th 2013



2970 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

album is so rubbish, pos

Digging: Emperor - In the Nightside Eclipse

ChopSuey
February 4th 2013



2392 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

should I even try to listen to this?

KjSwantko
February 4th 2013



9048 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Probably not.

sixdegrees
February 4th 2013



16687 Comments


no

RosaParks
February 4th 2013



14592 Comments


ground breaking innovation in metal here

ChopSuey
February 4th 2013



2392 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

ok then. I'll check out the new Coheed and Cambria record instead

NeoSpaz
February 4th 2013



4517 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

if you value your ears and sanity do not listen to this

apert
February 4th 2013



2970 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

don't waste your time, maybe listen to tears don't fall part 2 to hear how much it shamelessly rips of the original song

KjSwantko
February 4th 2013



9048 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Personally, I thought the title track was the worst; but then again it was a tough choice.



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