Review Summary: Ball's: Walking The Anti-Kvltian Path
2012 has been a close-minded year for me. It's a year that has found me exclusively listening to the most claustrophobic, cavernous, basement dwelling, sieg heiling metal on earth. Why? I do not know. Maybe it's because I've been on a Crowley/Lovecraft binge, maybe it's because my ever-growing hatred for fat people, Planet Fitness and Blood On The Dance Floor continues to grow and inspire me to be more hateful, in turn, forgetting my fun, social self and attracting me to go back to my cave-dwelling Gollum-esque ways. Whatever the case, it is what it is. This "Lord ov the Pagan Forest" attitude/musical niche was broken recently when a UK based pop punk band called Gnarlwolves slapped the kvlt out of me.
Normally I consider (modern) pop-punk to be pretty gay but Gnarlwolves I happen to like. It's not that they add anything new to the genre or go against what I don't like about pop-punk, they just happen to catch my ears because I really dig the energy, happy aggression and charisma they bring to their music.
Cru is a nice little EP from the group that emphasizes catchy hooks, naked beer-pong with the bros and early morning treks to the local Denny's after an exhausting evening of Pokemon card tournaments. Catchy riffs and gang vocals abound, the group skirt through up-tempo numbers with youthful exuberance and poise while slowing down and adding in a few Brand Newisms to the mix. Vocals are often times shrill and gritty but go pretty well with the nice assortment of bouncy chords and melodies that the guitars provide. The rhythm section is pretty entertaining as well. Drumming is high in the mix and gives a nice rhythmic sound and the bass has a good, dense tone to it.
Cru is simple, fun music that can be easily enjoyed. Unfortunately, it's a rather short recording. Coming in at six tracks and twelve minutes Cru really isn't so much an album as it is an appetizer. It's fun, it's catchy and it's to the point. Before you've gotten up to unload the taco 12 pack you just ate in your personalized toilet the recording is already over. There's nothing more to it than that.
Sorry dude I read some pages from the book of law as I chanted to Ea and idolized your anti-kvltian
tendencies as a perilous decrepitude. But it didn't seem'd to work. So my personal recommendation
for ya would be healing yourself with some kvlt, unadultured noisy sounds of the 4.0>[静香]
卐 nature. Read this while drinking some ol' Jager, as well:
With pensive grace the melancholy Swan
Mourns o’er the tomb of luckless Phaëton;
On grassy banks the weeping poplars wave,
And guard with tender care the wat’ry grave.
Would that I might, should I too proudly claim
An Heav’nly parent, or a Godlike fame,
When flown too high, and dash’d to depths below,
Receive such tribute as a Cygnus’ woe!
The faithful bird, that dumbly floats along,
Sighs all the deeper for his want of song.
Tattooed we dance the tango, in a melancholy way,
Bearded ladies, muscle men, freaks entering the affray.
Crowds come in from the suburbs to observe the perverse,
Jimmy the pick-pocket he's on the loose,
Mind out and watch your purse.
I thought I'd be happy in heaven
I thought it would be swell
I thought I'd be happy in heaven
In fact I'm as unhappy as hell
The harps, they all bore me
St. Peter's jokes are a farce
The angels look down their noses
because I'm from a different class
St. Mathews discovered religion
He converts people every day
Whenever he gets near me
I tell him to go away
St. Christopher, I've been rude to him
I told him what he could do with his staff
I told him where he could stick it
And he didn't laugh