KISS
Monster


2.0
poor

Review

by Joseph Viney STAFF
October 24th, 2012 | 51 replies


Release Date: 2012 | Tracklist

Review Summary: ...of death.

Part-time band and full-time business, Kiss have hardly set the world alight musically for something approaching 367 years. Known more for their penchant for hawking acres of tacky merch, the New Yorkers follow up 2009’s Sonic Boom (name a song from that record without looking it up) with another album about girls, low-down street life and other passé things like that.

No doubt Gene Simmons, still heavily competing for biggest arsehole on the planet, will tell you he doesn’t care what we all think; he’s got money, bitches and bling. Is that still something to aspire to, by the way? Besides, it’s hard to take any advice from the man responsible for the Freddy Krueger-meets-Nucky Thompson-meets-drunken sex pest turn he pulled for his cover of “Firestarter”.

So what do we have here exactly? For better or worse it follows the Kiss ethos; wanton superficiality, lyrics so broad they might fall off the edge of the Earth and a complete lack of consideration for modern trends and tastes. The latter is no more evident than in “Freak”, in which they qualify the titular character as having “streaks in my hair.” If that’s what passes for edgy in Kiss world, then they still have a lot to learn.

What IS missing here is authenticity. As (bad) luck would have it, those other bearers of the Just F*cking Give It Up crown, the Rolling Stones, released “Doom & Gloom” to a non-plussed world. What stood out most from the Stones’ new single is the notion that, Jagger aside, you just don’t believe the other Stones even rehearsed together nor recorded their parts. It seems nothing more than a session exercise with Jagger’s old man face gurning over the top of it. The same accusation can be levelled at Monster. Can you even imagine Simmons, Stanley and whoever they’ve roped in this time getting together in a cramped room and thrashing out some new songs? Me neither. Although the album barely brings its head above the water-line marked “passable”, it’s still too slick, too unified and too perfectly structured to convince you that apart from the vocals of Stanley and Simmons, the rest of the album is nothing more than a hodge-podge of contributions from various pony-tailed musos from somewhere sunny.

Monster has no justification for its existence. It won’t draw in new fans and the old fans won’t care to hear any of these tracks shunted into a live set that even a deaf mute could predict accurately. If it’s a money making exercise then they’ve obviously taken their finger off the pulse of present day record sales. What then? Pensioner’s ennui? Boredom? More money than sense? Sadly, it’s all of this and more. Ironically, it’s the band themselves who have the last and most concise word; forget the modern age, let’s all just go “Back To The Stone Age.”



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user ratings (147)
Chart.
2.8
good
other reviews of this album
NickGrouwen (2)
I'M SHOUTING MERCY I'M SHOUTING MERCY...

Pedro B. (2.5)
Another KISS album - no more, and no less....

Jeff F. (3)
Just about what you'd expect from Kiss...


Comments:Add a Comment 
JViney
Staff Reviewer
October 24th 2012


322 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

I've had a few to drink, can't be bothered going through the actual songs because they're so forgettable. Thought I'd have a moan instead. Enjoy?

zaruyache
October 24th 2012


7407 Comments


You just don't understand rock 'n' roll, maaaaaan!

Digging: Maybeshewill - Fair Youth

zxlkho
October 24th 2012


3472 Comments


why does this band exist

JViney
Staff Reviewer
October 24th 2012


322 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Ending
October 24th 2012


1919 Comments


I think that it's easy to see why they existed, but the question is why do they still exist.

Ending
October 24th 2012


1919 Comments


That answer is actually a very good one.

tommygun
October 24th 2012


25403 Comments


Awful band nice review. Haven't heard this and won't bother. Why the fuck are KISS still a thing?

Digging: Banks - Goddess

Ire
October 24th 2012


41829 Comments


$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$


tehe

AliW1993
Contributing Reviewer
October 24th 2012


7423 Comments


As ever, awesome review/summary.

klap
Staff Reviewer
October 24th 2012


10576 Comments


best review

Digging: Charli XCX - Sucker

manifestum
October 24th 2012


67 Comments


Phew. For a moment there I thought KISS was going to disappear forever.

JAXETA
October 24th 2012


791 Comments


ZINGER

TheSpirit
October 24th 2012


18002 Comments


awesome awesome review

Digging: The Speed of Sound in Seawater - Red Version

ForeignFilm
October 24th 2012


129 Comments


To everyone asking why Kiss is still a thing.....one word: Money.

thekingofqueen
October 24th 2012


16 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

kiss blows.

JAXETA
October 24th 2012


791 Comments


what's money?

North0House2
October 25th 2012


5889 Comments


They're still alive?

Digging: BRNS - Patine

JohnXDoesn't
October 25th 2012


1287 Comments


read this in a soundoff someone wrote:

"KISS have attempted to recreate their original image and sound from their heyday so everyone can party like it's the 80's again

maybe that 8 was supposed to be a 7 because any Kiss "heyday" ended with Alive II in '77

menawati
Contributing Reviewer
October 25th 2012


16124 Comments


"a complete lack of consideration for modern trends and tastes"

That's sometimes a good thing.

But not in Kiss's case.
Dont want to waste the time listening but I'd guess a 2 rating is quite generous.


StrizzMatik
October 25th 2012


3229 Comments


At least the Stones song is good



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