Review Summary: This ain't my bitch, not anymore.8 of 9 thought this review was well written
Reload doesn't depict something as a vaginal discharge with goat pus, thankfully, but it is Load’s little brother, and goes without saying, it sucks…even further. Basically, it’s the same sh*t all over again, but at least Load had a couple of good songs while this album has zero, no bueno to show. This desecrate piece of plastic can reproduce thirteen songs and lasts longer than a “normal” Metallica album just as its predecessor. It is no St. Anger or Lulu for sure, but if you where slightly disappointed with “Justice” and unhappy with their self-titled, you sure as hell abhorrence both Load and Reload.
But hey, “Metallica is being experimental”. I remember that line clearly in my head, you know, since I often remind myself how dumb I became for listening to the goddamn radio. But of course not, the music in here relies on repetitive riffs like hard rock, but this isn't even good hard rock, it’s like… “Man this pizza tastes funny, oh wait, there’s mold in the pepperoni”. I don’t know, it’s bad and boring, with no character. I already feel bummed let me start again on the music.
Oh my god Fuel is a true classic “Give me fuel, Give me fire, Give me that which I desire, Ooh! SHAZAAAMMM!!!” Man this is such a great start, the band manages to open the album in a very heavy way, oh my… you instantly know what to expect for the rest of the album. The song talks about fuel, and high speed, and combustion with gasoline. If you search the word fuel for grammatical query, well f*ck you! This is what you’re going to get. Have you ever seen the videoclip? It’s outstanding; there are even hidden chicks in the video, look closely.
The Memory Remains is a blues song; this is a true boogie jam. The guitars are amplified with a vintage vacuum to blow your speakers. That way, you can appreciate Marianne f*cking Faithful’s vocals man. Ok wait, on a serious note, what the f*ck is this bitch doing on a Metallica record? Seriously, this got to be the first auto-tune voice ever, because she sounds dreadful like a goat in heat or something. Oh no Metallica, you didn't. Recycling one of the only decent songs on Load? C’mon. This is unforgivable, if you know what I mean.
Devil’s Dance is TRULY the only salvageable song on this album. This track has a good bass intro, then Hetfield assail with drop D tunning while Hammet lead quite good, giving a nice groove. The vocals also, are very nice. Maybe James ate Nutella for breakfast before the recording, and then colorfully remembered how to sing. There’s nothing else worth mentioning though, not even for satirical purposes. I’m going back to what I said before, the rest is pure debris. Maybe there are decent ideas throughout the songs and maybe several can take pleasure in friendly melodies and all (which isn't even present in St. Anger), but f*ck, you did take these guys seriously once.
“So I dub thee Unforgiveeeeeenn”, because Metallica couldn’t deliver any further than their self-titled and S&M. And regardless what anybody else thinks personally, I believe the rest of their 90’s/2000’s material changed their attitude, their looks and their memo to the world. It’s not about making a statement anymore, you just got to be pissed, moronic and stereotypical “metal” to be worth mentioning. So nope, this ain't my bitch, not anymore.