Mumford and Sons
Babel


1.0
awful

Review

by Adam Knott EMERITUS
October 1st, 2012 | 101 replies | 11,909 views


Release Date: 2012 | Tracklist

Review Summary: I'd like to tell you a story.

Some 130 terrestrial years following the scientifically-dated Great Flood of Noah, all of the world did speak exactly the same language. Their shared tongue had a name, and that name was Folk. With this language, the people were able to communicate base emotions such as joy and pain, and lo, it was good. And the people did find ways to convey their emotions. Many a time, they would join together in chorus to evoke feelings of awe and inspiration from their unity, or express themselves more frantically in order to reveal passion and excitement. It was a good world in which to live, a simple society for undeveloped minds that had not known the wrath of the lord.

They fucked it up by trying to reach heaven with a huge tower, and lo, did the language of Folk diversify as punishment for their foolishness. There developed more sophisticated versions of the once-primitive language; the borrowing of words from Punk made the hybrid language Folk-Punk, and the discovery of new ores brought about Folk-Metal. The original tongue persisted, but also became more elegant and more elaborate; Folk's dictionaries now contained new structures, ideas and sounds as a result of simultaneous refinement and expansion. But it was presumed an elite language because of its lack of mono-syllabic words and apparently random interjections, and so it became uncool.

In the two-thousand-and-ninth year after Christ, though, all of this did change. For he did return, in the guise of a four-piece folk band from West London. Choosing to shirk his old stomping ground of the Middle East for reasons of impartiality, he began to spread his gospel. He hoped that his use of the outdated banjo would hint at his true identity. Seeing that the people of the world were confused with all manner of interesting song structures and instrumental complexity and emotional realism, he sought to bring peace to all mankind by fixing the damage done those thousands of years ago. In his now-famous Sermon In The Pub, he declared that the new language would be the Folk of old, the simple, traditional language of pre-Babel civilisation.

There was but one tiny snag. As he begun to preach his messages of love and loyalty and torment, he found them to be full of the most basic platitudes. As he induced the group vocal, it was so loud that it could not be heard. As he sped up his banjo strumming - and Jesus is a pretty mean banjo player, you guys - he played so fast it just became one long note. On the first day, he created the quiet song. On the second day, he used that song's rib to create the foundations for the song with the epic climax. And on the third day, he made an album in those songs' image. And lo, Jesus - disguised as Mumford & Sons - did release that collection of songs, and he realised that creating a piece of art based on hollow attempts to reconstruct the shallowest tenets of something which is in fact quite elegant, is really not the way to communicate with people at all.

So he went back into hiding for a while until he thought of something worth fucking saying.



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Comments:Add a Comment 
Knott-
Emeritus
October 1st 2012



10195 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

AND LO

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
October 1st 2012



23806 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

yesssssssssssss i can't wait to read and disagree with every word.

one sec.

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
October 1st 2012



50088 Comments


mezz crew pos

Digging: Tiny Moving Parts - Pleasant Living

Ire
October 1st 2012



41754 Comments


i'm feelin a strong 7 on this review


Aids
Contributing Reviewer
October 1st 2012



23806 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

oh my god.

dude, this review is fucking awesome (and gives me no ammo to use against you)

well played good sir. checkmate.

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
October 1st 2012



23806 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

but yeah this is gonna be a huge shitstorm (i imagine lots of people will make accounts just to 5 this album and ridicule the review), maybe even bigger than the last one cause there's little to no justification of a 1 here.

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
October 1st 2012



50088 Comments


Death Grips are good queef and sons are bad Aids loses forever


Knott-
Emeritus
October 1st 2012



10195 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

can't argue with the second coming of christ, adrian

Graveyard
October 1st 2012



5699 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

must be legit

Digging: Total Control - Typical System

Ponton
Emeritus
October 1st 2012



5790 Comments


jesus christ

Electric City
Staff Reviewer
October 1st 2012



15732 Comments


omfg that first paragraph

Electric City
Staff Reviewer
October 1st 2012



15732 Comments


omg adam im so glad this is on sputnik

TheSupernatural
October 1st 2012



1128 Comments


So when you're staff, you can do shit like this? Where can I sign up? I want to practice my bullshit writing

Digging: Islander - Violence and Destruction

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
October 1st 2012



23806 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

"So when you're staff, you can do shit like this? Where can I sign up? I want to practice my bullshit writing"

Brace yourselves.....

ITsHxCTOASTER
October 1st 2012



2488 Comments


Oh my god this review rules

Steoandnoodles
October 1st 2012



2832 Comments


Hilarious. Aw, I was so excited. It's blatantly just a rant but disguised so beautifully. Hats off to you Adam. You delivered on the hype.

DaveyBoy
Staff Reviewer
October 1st 2012



20856 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

So what you are trying to say is: Jesus was in 'Deliverance'!

Man, f**ken Burt Reynolds always distracts me.

jdennis31
October 1st 2012



6511 Comments


cool review dude. if ya'll enjoy grantland you should read this article comparing mumford and sons and tim tebow. pretty funny. http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/58550/mumford-sons-tim-tebow-esque-indie-folk

AggravatedYeti
October 1st 2012



7684 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

HEY ADAM NICE JOB SAYING NOTHING


OH WAIT -- THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT.

Kiran
Emeritus
October 1st 2012



6001 Comments


i was waiting for bob dylan's cameo as methuselah



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