Review Summary: Chevelle making music. So cool3 of 14 thought this review was well written
This is my first review (after 100) of Chevelle and their enigmatic sixth album titled "Hats Off To the Bull". A release not already scarred from its name already. Like, at all.
Face To the Floor: Pete's been thinking, nice. It's Â*classy a nice riff that doesnt feel like its going to repeat itself. Did Pete just say drawers? Do our southern neighbors say that often? I thought this was a spanish epic... Ohfuk the riff is still happening and the chorus runs through without even saying hi. Pete just said vamanos. Sigh. Absolutely nothing is happening in this one riff song
Same Old Trip: Boy, if the title of this track doesnt get me jazzed. Side note, it doesnt. The intro is like the most awkward thing ever. Does anybody even wanna know whatthefuk pete is yammering on about? "nuclear's centuries benefits" um, what? There's a woman in this song which makes me feel emasculated. My miuse of that word should be a clear sign of her presence distorting me. Also, why is she even here shes not saying ANYTHING worthwhile. Â*
Ruse: Cool lil riff weve got here. Oh my God why does every song have this same stupid half chorus when introduced format. Like I'm going to book it that that wasnt the whole hook and the second time it hits itll be longer. I was right! More*** is definitely NOT happening. Oh. Oh. Oh. But Pete gives his first yell on wax in like 6 years never mind that its 1 millisecond and muffled. Psshh.
The Meddler: Yeah a Viatmin R rip. Nah this is totally cool. Some interesting postrock*** is happening. Why? Nobody knows. Hmmm that same damn chorus technique is happeninggoddammit. Also, whatthefuk is Pete talking about? "Youre too much like a wall", ehem, ???. Oh this bridge is cool but who the hell still creates a bridge? Not Tool thats for sure but more on that later.
Pinata: If you wanna be original definitely name your song after an old chinese tradition about hoping to grow corn. Or something. The intro is so badass like SOAD but way more reserved. Real radio metal. Annnnnnnd the band pussies out and itssomeshyt ballad. Unfortunately this song is about lusting after some girl who cheats on him nightly. True story.
Envy: this song is touted as their opus... daily. So color me excited. Ohfuk me its a ballad. Like Chevelle is the first band to create one of those. Its like Seether without the alcohol addiction or Amy Lee. Cool. Ohfuk this song just got really loud. But for no reason cause no one cares. Â*
The Title Track: And here we go. Its some club joint. Without any house effects. So its boring. Whats with all the mexican references? Why is the album and song named after bull fighting? This song is so boring Id like to take a minute and talk about a truly underrated show How I Met Your Mother. Its not like Arrested Development funny cause seriously nothing could ever in all of evers be that funny and that batshytcrazy finale but its pretty neat. Â*
Im just gonna skip the next three tracks cause they sound like ever other Chevlle final section ever released. Their names include "paint the seconds", "to return" and "bend the bracket" mmhmm. Â*
Clones: THIS SONG IS REPORTEDLY ABOUT HOW CHEVELLE SOUND JUSTLIKEFUKING TOOL AND SO THEY TOTALLY WANNA GET RID OF THAT MONICKER BY AND HERES THE IRONY MAKING A SONG THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT SHOULD BE ON THEIR FIRST ALBUM POINT #1 WHICH WAS THEIR MOST TOOL SOUNDING ALBUM BUT BECAUSE RADIO ROCK BANDS CAN NEVER BE TOO MYSTERIOUSANDBULL*** THEY EVEN RIP A RIFF STRAIGHT FROM LATERALUS 2 MINUTES IN CASE IN POINT OH MY GOD AND YES THIS IS ALL ONE SENTENCE... Â* 5/5 BRAVA