William Control
Novus Ordo Seclorum


1.0
awful

Review

by Scott Krasman USER (30 Reviews)
December 5th, 2011 | 18 replies | 6,096 views


Release Date: 2011 | Tracklist

Review Summary: wiL Francis: The Condensed Version

10 of 13 thought this review was well written

I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to the rest of my music collection. For all that my favourite bands have done for me over the years, I feel like I’ve slapped them all in the face by placing them in the same group as William Control. While his stay in my list of artists lasted a few short hours, the fact that he was there at all is a damn shame. For those that do not know, William Control is the side project of wiL Francis from Aiden, recognized worldwide as being one of the most atrocious bands ever assembled. Somewhere along the line, wiL decided that he needed to make more terrible music by himself, so he set out on a great ambitious conquest to fellate Depeche Mode as much as possible. Those ambitions have somehow sunk to a new low on his latest EP, Novus Ordo Seclorum (Latin for “New Order of the Ages.”) 2008’s Hate Culture was an abomination, but this has somehow managed to match it. Listen at your own peril.

Good old wiL has always delivered some of the most unintentionally hilarious cover arts of all time, and this time around is no exception. wiL is staring at his crotch like he can’t quite remember the last time he saw his cock invert. It might have been during the creation of the opening track, “New World Order”. I don’t understand who the “we” he keeps referring to in the song is referencing. Last I checked, the only fans he has are fifteen-year old overweight goth girls who wear frog hats and eat Pizza Pops. Is his plan to fill the world with more of them? I f*cking hope not. “How long can a generation lose?” I’d say about as long as you are still making music, wiL.

It doesn’t get any better from there, either. wiL continues to mix terrible dark-pop synths with retarded lyrics and expects to come out with something that isn’t the musical equivalent of diving headfirst into a refrigerator door. Lines like "He told me to close my eyes, my gift would be a great surprise" aren't helping to convince me of you being a ladies' man, wiL. The female rape sound effects are such a nice touch, as well. Why is he trying to persuade me into believing that someone’s actually enjoying his micropenis? “Call me your master, I call you my whore.” You’re singing about a whore pretending to enjoy being raped by a toothpick? That not only makes you a horrendous musician, wiL, but that also makes you a liar. I can’t wait until he ends the charade and makes an album called “Just Kidding Guys: The wiL Francis Story”. Maybe by then he’ll have stopped using FruityLoops to make his four bar masterpiece beats. Some of the breaks are so off time it’s actually sad. I have to admit that I shed a few tears for electronic music everywhere.

This EP is horrible, even for wiL’s lofty standards. He apparently wants everyone to know how much talent it takes to visit an adult site and gather various quotes of people having sex with other people that aren’t him. I’d say that he’s doing a better job of raping our ears than raping anything else. I don’t know what kind of f*cked up stuff wiL is into, so he might actually enjoy the thought of aural rape. Perhaps he’ll write a song about it on his next album, and plug in clips of people screaming in horror as his tracks play in the background. It would make for some sweet avant-garde material.



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user ratings (15)
Chart.
2.6
average

Comments:Add a Comment 
Scoot
December 5th 2011



17709 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

good lord

Scoot
December 5th 2011



17709 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

twenty minutes of pure shit

Scoot
December 5th 2011



17709 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

who gave this a 5

Scoot
December 5th 2011



17709 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

okay disconnecting is the best song but it's still terrible

Scoot
December 5th 2011



17709 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

he looks like the taller goth kid

Ire
December 5th 2011



41753 Comments


i'm sure this is awful but did you really have to?

jslavos
December 5th 2011



45 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

"Lines like "He told me to close my eyes, my gift would be a great surprise" aren't helping to convince me of you being a ladies' man, wiL. " - that line is from the song 1963, which is not his - it's a cover of New Orders' 1963.

Oh, and he has a wife and a kid, just sayin'.

Sanders
December 5th 2011



2345 Comments


"that line is from the song 1963, which is not his - it's a cover of New Orders' 1963."

So not only is it a pile of steaming stale semem, it's an unoriginal pile of steaming stale semen?

jslavos
December 5th 2011



45 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0 | Sound Off

Well, it's a cover, it's not his song.

Pentagon
December 5th 2011



1998 Comments


are you on crack? this album is genius. On par with Gunther if you ask me.

americanohno
December 5th 2011



1599 Comments


I coulda swore andcas' link was gonna lead me here; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDi4LYCuhBQ

it probably should have cuz that video is still one of the greatest things ever.

fish.
Contributing Reviewer
December 5th 2011



21759 Comments


I read that this guy was gonna release a book of poetry

lol'd hard

Timmons
December 5th 2011



561 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

SHIT, i have a frog hat!

Acanthus
December 5th 2011



9537 Comments


Great review, sums everything up nicely.

Digging: The Cure - The Head on the Door

exportnow
December 5th 2011



78 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

first two tracks and the cover are pretty good, the rest are way disappointing because noir was a big step up from the shitfest that was hate culture. he should've just rereleased noir with the 3 'decent' songs from this if he wanted off victory so bad

Scoot
December 9th 2011



17709 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

no it sucks

DaveyBoy
Staff Reviewer
December 21st 2011



20856 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

'Novus Ordo Seclorum', the 3rd release from the side-project of Aiden's wiL Francis, is a 6 track, 25 minute EP which continues his fascination with a sound that lies somewhere between industrial-leaning electro-rock & synth-pop. It actually starts off well enough with the 1st 2 tracks being rather free-flowing & catchy... & then the all too familiar moaning sound-bytes appear & it's all downhill from there. The lyrics get worse ("Call me your master, I call you my whore, get down on your knees") & he still has absolutely no idea how to deliver a ballad, as the awkward closer proves. Recommended Tracks: New World Order (A New Kind of Faith) & Disconnecting.

ManaYoodSushai
January 3rd 2013



90 Comments


funny review! posd



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