Suicide Silence
The Black Crown


1.5
very poor

Review

by Nikkolae USER (21 Reviews)
July 10th, 2011 | 58 replies | 7,296 views


Release Date: 2011 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Call now you can get the two previous shitty LP’s Too!

1 of 24 thought this review was well written

Good evening everybody and welcome to “Stuff you don’t need but you will still get” I’m your host, Nicholas Salazar, also I’d like to introduce you to my little assistant Timmy, Say Hi Tim!

Timmy: Hey everybody, excuse me Mr. Salazar, what is that on the table?

This? Well I’m glad you asked Tim, this is Suicide Silence’s NEW ALBUM. It just came in today and we got a lovely assortment for any of you who want to buy it, but hooold on, let’s not get ahead of yourself, I will not sell you something before you all get some more info.

Timmy: Oh but the cover looks so pretty! I want it now!

Calm down Timmy, now, the cover you say? Made by some generic artist who name I don’t know nor do I care about, you can see the generic deathcore artwork...

Timmy: but I thought those were called Grindcore logos?

…I said deathcore artwork Timmy hehehe…. anyways people, now, I know the cover can look very generic and you might be asking yourself, “what about the music? Is it good? Is it bad?” The answer is What the Hell Do You Think? Its Suicide Silence people! You only need to listen to their past LP to know what the sound is like!, inside this nifty CD case comes 11 of the most average, un-inspired songs the world of music has ever had the disgrace to be acquaintance with!

But WAIT! There is more, right now I got a call from my producer telling me that this isn’t just one of the most sub-par records out there, its also coupled up with a total Jun fest that any toddler with Tourette’s can out-play as well, and I would love to tell you about the bassist but I just don’t know if they even have one! Truth be told, if you’re a drummer THIS IS FOR YOU!

Timmy: but hey Mr. S, that doesn’t sound too good, some people might even say they’re putting out the same record they did last time.

Ohh Timmy if you hadn’t mentioned the past record I would bludgeon you to death with a stiletto, but you did! And for that you won’t die tonight. Now about the previous album, a lot of people called out SS saying they were talentless copy cats, and aside Mitch Lucker, I couldn’t agree more, this band is the sonically equivalent of the previously regurgitated puke of baby penguin!

In the end if you call now you’ll be getting this new record the previous ***ty LP and sub-par “The Cleansing” too! And no, not cos we’re giving them to you for free! Nooooo, Its cos it’s the same damn record over again, heeeey but don’t get mad, it’s not like YOU! And all the other broskis will ever know the difference!

that’s it folks, that’s all the time for now, join me next time on STUFF YOU WONT NEED BUT WILL STILL GET!!!!!!, I’m Nicholas Salazar!.. And I’m T… SHUT THE *** UP YOU ***ING ORPHAN! Goodnight!!!



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user ratings (549)
Chart.
2.7
average
other reviews of this album
1 of
  • DragonHeartstring (3.5)
    Suicide Silence release an album that is stellar for its genre but still suffers from the ...

    P.J. Quinones (3.5)
    Still chug-a-lugging away, but this time with a little more crunch....

    Rupert (3.5)
    A step up in consitency and song-writing skills, but lacking the thuggish 'Br00tAlz' charm...

    micaewww (3.5)
    Suicide Silence's new found metalcore twist proved beneficial...

  • Darion Paone (2.5)
    Suicide Silence tries to add feeling to an emotionless record and sounds disjointed and ge...

    Jeremy Bentham (3)
    A shift in gears towards more of a metalcore sound has proven beneficial for Suicide Silen...


Comments:Add a Comment 
Curse.
Contributing Reviewer
July 10th 2011



7970 Comments


*sigh* joke reviews

Sanders
July 10th 2011



2341 Comments


Try harder kid.

Scoot
July 10th 2011



17681 Comments


i saw an exclamation point immediately followed by a comma and that was it for me

Digging: Unjust - Glow

Duderino
July 10th 2011



827 Comments


yeah i would think humor would be a key element in a "joke review"

snerefedsav
July 10th 2011



807 Comments


goddammit

ZombicidalMan
July 10th 2011



1715 Comments


Well, this review was pretty awful

trymedude
July 10th 2011



151 Comments


review was devoid of laughs

/mods should delete

SowingSeason
Staff Reviewer
July 10th 2011



15332 Comments


i sense some anger in the above comment

Digging: Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds - Abattoir Blues/The Lyre of Orpheus

YetAnotherBrick
July 10th 2011



4390 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

this could've been really funny, but it's ruined by atrocious grammar, similes, word choice, etc...actually, everything about it is atrocious except for the underlying concept of it. neg.

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
July 10th 2011



23798 Comments


this "concept" was done horribly. terrible review.

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
July 10th 2011



23798 Comments


"Good evening everybody and welcome to “Stuff you don’t need but you will still get”"

Yetanotherbrick how is that concept "good" it doesn't make any sense.

Uranium
July 10th 2011



7050 Comments


aoty

YetAnotherBrick
July 10th 2011



4390 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

By 'concept' I just meant the whole infomercial thing. It could've been mildly humorous.

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
July 10th 2011



23798 Comments


I dunno I think this review was doomed from the very beginning. I don't see how that could be funny at all, it has nothing to do with music or the band. The concept might as well have been "Coconuts"

That one Emmure review, now there's a good concept for a joke review.


DarkNoctus
Contributing Reviewer
July 10th 2011



8743 Comments


wow, what a terrible review :]

trymedude
July 10th 2011



151 Comments


Ed Hardy bikinis?

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

WashboardSuds
July 10th 2011



4984 Comments


next time write a joke review that doesn't say anything about the actual album

Digging: Acid Bath - When the Kite String Pops

snerefedsav
July 11th 2011



807 Comments


http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/43959/Owl-City-All-Things-Bright-and-Beautiful/ this is a good joke review.

as for this, i don't want to be a dick or anything, but this was atrocious

Deviant.
Staff Reviewer
July 11th 2011



30873 Comments


Next time don't write

Are we gonna get the patented Lakes response b-b-b-but humour is subjective

Digging: FaltyDL - In The Wild

climactic
July 11th 2011



18339 Comments


horrible review



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