Review Summary: Call now you can get the two previous shitty LP’s Too!1 of 24 thought this review was well written
Good evening everybody and welcome to “Stuff you don’t need but you will still get” I’m your host, Nicholas Salazar, also I’d like to introduce you to my little assistant Timmy, Say Hi Tim!
Timmy: Hey everybody, excuse me Mr. Salazar, what is that on the table?
This? Well I’m glad you asked Tim, this is Suicide Silence’s NEW ALBUM. It just came in today and we got a lovely assortment for any of you who want to buy it, but hooold on, let’s not get ahead of yourself, I will not sell you something before you all get some more info.
Timmy: Oh but the cover looks so pretty! I want it now!
Calm down Timmy, now, the cover you say? Made by some generic artist who name I don’t know nor do I care about, you can see the generic deathcore artwork...
Timmy: but I thought those were called Grindcore logos?
…I said deathcore artwork Timmy hehehe…. anyways people, now, I know the cover can look very generic and you might be asking yourself, “what about the music? Is it good? Is it bad?” The answer is What the Hell Do You Think? Its Suicide Silence people! You only need to listen to their past LP to know what the sound is like!, inside this nifty CD case comes 11 of the most average, un-inspired songs the world of music has ever had the disgrace to be acquaintance with!
But WAIT! There is more, right now I got a call from my producer telling me that this isn’t just one of the most sub-par records out there, its also coupled up with a total Jun fest that any toddler with Tourette’s can out-play as well, and I would love to tell you about the bassist but I just don’t know if they even have one! Truth be told, if you’re a drummer THIS IS FOR YOU!
Timmy: but hey Mr. S, that doesn’t sound too good, some people might even say they’re putting out the same record they did last time.
Ohh Timmy if you hadn’t mentioned the past record I would bludgeon you to death with a stiletto, but you did! And for that you won’t die tonight. Now about the previous album, a lot of people called out SS saying they were talentless copy cats, and aside Mitch Lucker, I couldn’t agree more, this band is the sonically equivalent of the previously regurgitated puke of baby penguin!
In the end if you call now you’ll be getting this new record the previous ***ty LP and sub-par “The Cleansing” too! And no, not cos we’re giving them to you for free! Nooooo, Its cos it’s the same damn record over again, heeeey but don’t get mad, it’s not like YOU! And all the other broskis will ever know the difference!
that’s it folks, that’s all the time for now, join me next time on STUFF YOU WONT NEED BUT WILL STILL GET!!!!!!, I’m Nicholas Salazar!.. And I’m T… SHUT THE *** UP YOU ***ING ORPHAN! Goodnight!!!